Pretend I'm Yours: A Fake Marriage Romance

by Ella Miles

  I don’t understand any of it.

  Arlo might be done talking, but Matteo isn’t.

  I walk back to Matteo’s room. Every step draining more and more energy out of my body until I have hardly anything left when I make it back to his bedroom.

  I’m panting and sweaty, and I can’t focus on anything because of the pain. That’s all I feel—the pain. In my legs, my arms, my head. Everything hurts.

  I bend over and put my hands on my knees, like I just ran a marathon. I hate what that bastard did to me. I’ve never felt so weak in my entire life.

  I feel Matteo’s hand on my shoulder before I see him.

  “You should get back into bed. You pushed yourself to your limit, and now, you just need to rest and gather your strength for tomorrow,” he says gently to me.

  I take a couple of more breaths, and then I stand up and see that Matteo is fully dressed in a suit. He’s barely worn any clothes this last week since I’ve been here. So, it’s weird, seeing him clothed, much less so sharply dressed.

  Matteo nods toward his bed, and I don’t argue. I let him lead me toward his bed. He helps me in, and the pain slowly starts to subside. The weakness stays with me though.

  “Better?”

  I nod. “Why are you wearing a suit?”

  He smiles, although I can see a hint of sadness in his eyes that I haven’t seen before.

  “Because, believe it or not, I have a job that doesn’t involve lying in bed all day and night with you.”

  “When do you have to leave?”

  “Five minutes,” he says without looking at his watch.

  I frown. Even though I’m pissed at him, I still don’t want to be alone.

  He laughs at my pout. “Don’t pretend that you care if I’m here or not. You clearly prefer my brother to me. I’m just your protector. I get it. As soon as all your wounds have healed, I’ll send you to his bed.”

  I carefully consider my next words. I don’t want him to know that I know they are both just playing games with me. But I need to have my questions answered. Until I have more information, I need to stick to my original plan. To get them all to care about me. Maybe even fall in love with me. So that they will let me go. I know love is stronger than anything. Make them fall in love with me, and then I’ll be free.

  “I care about Arlo,” I say.

  Matteo cocks his head to one side. “You’re obsessed with him, is what I heard.”

  I nod. “I’m obsessed. Even though he’s done horrible things to me. Stolen me from my husband. Raped me. And didn’t even bother to take care of me afterward. I still care about him. I’m obsessed. It’s my personality. I can’t control it. Just like I can’t control my feelings toward you either. Even though you made me suck your brother’s dick.”

  He raises an eyebrow. “And what are your feelings toward me?”

  “I’m becoming obsessed with you, too.”

  He laughs. “I don’t believe you, beautiful. You gave me a chaste kiss and sucked him.”

  “With Arlo, it’s just about sex. That’s all the obsession has ever been. Wanting to get into his pants. But, with you, we started differently. You became my friend, my caretaker, my protector. I didn’t want to suck you off just because you commanded me to. With you, I want our first time to be special,” I say, pushing all thoughts of Heath out of my mind. I can’t think about how much I might be hurting him. All I can think about is getting free at any cost.

  Matteo studies me with his arms folded across his chest. “I don’t believe you, beautiful. I think you want Arlo and no one else.”

  “I kissed you. I didn’t kiss him. We have something different. Something that I will never have with Arlo.”

  “Prove it,” he says with a dare in his eyes.

  I crook my finger at him. “Come here.”

  Matteo takes a seat on the edge of the bed, like he always does when he is about to take care of me.

  I hesitate as the smell of his cologne washes over me. It’s sexy and manly, and it immediately makes me want him. But I feel so weak that I’m not sure I can even lift my head off the bed again, much less hit on Matteo or have sex with him.

  And do I want to have sex with him?

  So far, I’ve done nothing on my own. I’ve always been ordered or raped. I’ve never had the choice. The decision being mine should make it easier for me, but it doesn’t. It makes me feel dirty.

  It’s wrong.

  I shouldn’t fuck any of these men. I’m married. But it might be my only chance. Make them fall for me, and then I can return to my husband.

  I grab Matteo’s neck, and I pull him down so that I can kiss him. The kiss is rough, not like our previous kisses. It’s full of moans and growls, tugging of lips and sucking of tongues. It feels desperate. It’s my attempt at taking back control. But Matteo feels just as desperate for the kiss as I am.

  When I kiss Matteo, I try to pretend like I’m kissing Heath, but I quickly realize how much of a mistake that is. Heath’s kisses were perfect. But Matteo’s kisses take everything to another level. His kisses rock my whole body, making me feel the kiss deep in my belly.

  My body knows that it isn’t Heath kissing me. So, why pretend?

  “What do you want?” Matteo asks between kisses, his breathing heavy and his eyes full of lust.

  “Hmm,” I say as I’m still feeling every tingling sensation from the kiss.

  Matteo grins as he kisses my lips again before biting my bottom lip hard enough to draw just enough blood to bring me back to reality.

  I shake my head. “What did you say?”

  “What do you want, beautiful? You said you wanted our first time to be special, so what do you want? I know you’re too weak to do much, but what do you want? Do you want me to fuck you hard and fast now? Do you want me to wait until you’re stronger? Do you want me to take you out onto the balcony and make love slow and sweet in the sunlight? Or hard and fast in the dark? Tell me what you want.”

  My heartbeat picks up. He’s giving me the illusion of control while really taking it all away. But, still, I get to decide this one thing—how and when I want to have sex with Matteo for the first time.

  I grab the nape of his neck and force him to kiss me again. Right now, I want more kisses. So many more kisses. Arlo hasn’t kissed me since I came here. And it’s always my favorite part about being intimate with another person.

  I get lost in his kisses again. When Matteo kisses me, he really kisses me. Like it might be the last time he ever gets to kiss me, so he gives me everything he has. It makes it easy to think that he cares about me even though I know he doesn’t. I’m going to have to do a lot more to get him to actually care about me. And a heck of a lot to get him to fall in love with me.

  He stops kissing me, and I know what he is asking. I don’t get any more kisses until I decide.

  I can’t stop kissing him. I can’t stop wanting him. He’s turned me on, and I don’t have an off button.

  I don’t care about how weak I am. I don’t care about how I just sucked his brother’s dick. I don’t care that I came back to him, so he could answer my questions, not to fuck him. I need him to fuck me. I need the obsession to go away.

  “Fuck me. Make me forget everything but you.”

  I see the switch turn on in Matteo’s eyes when I give him permission to fuck me. Although he and Arlo look so similar, they are very different. Arlo saved me in his own way. He did what had to be done even though he knew I would hate him afterward. Arlo wants the control. He enjoyed me being weak. Matteo wants me to choose him. I know he’s just messing with my head. Both are going to cause me years of therapy if I survive this.

  Matteo stands up and undoes the button on his jacket. Removing it, he neatly places it on the chair in the corner. He kicks off his shoes while he slowly undoes the buttons on his shirt and then lays the shirt on top of his jacket. He slacks are next, and he takes just as much time with them as he did the rest of his clothes, making me crazy while I lie in th
e bed, unable to get up and hurry him up. He folds his pants and then puts them on the chair where the rest of his clothes lie.

  When he turns to me, the smirk on his face tells me he knows exactly what he is doing to me. He’s driving me wild with need and want for him. I can’t remember the last time I wanted a man’s cock like I do right now.

  “I told you to fuck me. Not take your sweet-ass time in undressing.”

  He rips the covers off the bed and then climbs up on top of me, careful not to touch any part of my body as he does. His eyes travel over every inch of my body that he has already seen countless times. I’m just wearing underwear and a bra. We’ve slept like this all week long. But it feels different when his eyes devour me like they are now.

  “Oh, beautiful, I’m going to take my sweet time with you. I don’t trust that you will ever give yourself to me again. So, I’m going to make this last for as long as I can.”

  I suck in a breath to try to keep from panting and showing him exactly how much I want this. It’s embarrassing—how much I want him to fuck me. I want him to show me just how in control he is. Just how sweet he can make me feel. He makes me feel cared for when he heals me. I can only imagine how he will care for me when he fucks me.

  “I’m going to make you forget about every drop of pain,” Matteo says, taking my hand and kissing over the bruises and cuts from my fingertips to my shoulder. He takes my other arm and repeats the motion. Not letting one cut, scrape, or bruise be left untouched by his lips.

  He’s intoxicatingly slow and careful as he kisses me. Ensuring he doesn’t miss one place that could be causing me pain while, at the same time, hitting every spot that brings me pleasure.

  “Tell me what hurts, beautiful,” he says.

  I point to the deep bruises on my stomach.

  His lips move to my stomach, kissing and licking over every spot. My fingers and toes curl as I try not to fully let go and give in to him. But it’s an impossible task. Everything that he does is turning me on. Even if I want to be in control, I’m not. He can do anything he wants to my body. He can turn me on, and I can’t stop him. He can make me come, and I’m powerless.

  When I started this, I thought I could gain some power back by pretending like I care. But I’m not sure there is a difference between me pretending and actually enjoying myself.

  I feel my panties getting wetter with each kiss and lap of his tongue. I squirm as he continues to kiss my stomach, and then he moves to my legs, kissing every place there, except where I really want him to. I want him to rip my underwear and bra off. I want him to be rough. Tie me up. Slap my ass. Something. I can’t wait to see what he will do.

  He smirks and grabs my thighs, holding them down so that I stop squirming beneath him. “Impatient, are we?”

  “Yes,” I breathe. “Very impatient.”

  He shakes his head and starts kissing my thigh again, but I’ve had enough of his teasing. I push his head down between my legs and on top of my panties, hoping he will take the hint.

  He grins against my panties. He’s not going to move any faster than he wants to. I’m going to die a slow, torturous death from being turned on but never getting any release.

  I feel his teeth scrape against my stomach, and then he pulls my panties down with his teeth. My mouth drops open just a little at the sight of him actually doing what I want him to do.

  “Lick me,” I command.

  He does. He licks my pussy like it’s the best goddamn thing he’s ever tasted.

  My toes curl again, and my hands grab on to his long mane of hair as he licks me like he kisses me, giving me everything he has. Making me feel everything that I want to feel.

  He doesn’t slow when he hears me moaning and growing close to coming. He makes me come with just his tongue, and I scream from the release.

  But he doesn’t stop when I come. He keeps licking and kissing me, building me again. I come. And then he does it again. And again. As I come over and over. I don’t think I’ve ever come so quickly so many times in a row. And I don’t think I can take anymore.

  I grab his hair, pulling him off of my pussy. “I can’t take anymore,” I pant.

  He grins. “You never said to stop.”

  “Stop,” I say with a grin, happy that I never told him to stop.

  He makes it clear that, right now, he will do anything that I ask of him. I just have to figure out what I want.

  And, despite coming half a dozen times, my body still craves his. I still want to feel his cock throbbing and stretching me as he fucks me. I want him to make me feel dirty. I want him to mark me as his, just like his brother did.

  “You’re not very good with directions then. Because I already told you to fuck me. I want it hard and fast, making me feel like the dirty whore that I am. Got it?”

  He smiles. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll fuck you until you forget about any other man other than me.”

  I run my tongue across my bottom lip. “Good luck. You might have pulled the most orgasms out of me. But, when your brother fucked me, he fucked me so hard that I will never forget how his cock felt in my pussy. So far, I think he’s winning.”

  I don’t add that the reason he did that was to make me forget about what his father had done. As much as I hate Arlo for taking my choices away, I’m thankful for what he did. He got me out of there and replaced the terrible memories with him.

  Matteo growls. “Take it back.”

  I grin. “Not until you prove you can fuck me better than he did,” I say, taunting him. Hoping I’m hitting a nerve.

  Before I know what’s happening, he has my hands tied high above my head. His hips have my legs pinned to the bed. And my bra is off, lying on the floor. I’m completely naked and completely at his will. It’s what I’ve been craving all along even though I don’t understand why. I usually love the control but not when it comes to the Carini men.

  He firmly kisses me on the lips, taking my breath away, before I feel my panties being shoved in my mouth, followed by what I think is his tie going around my mouth and then being tied behind my head to keep me from pushing the panties out.

  “That’s better. Now, I don’t have to listen to any more talk about how my brother fucks you better than I do.” Matteo smirks as he looks down at me all tied up. “I don’t think you are ready for me. I think you need some time to think about my cock instead of my brother’s,” he says, stroking his own thick cock.

  My eyes grow wide, looking at him as he climbs off me.

  I moan, pleading with him to fuck me. I don’t want to wait. I want to feel his cock deep inside me.

  He just smirks. “Sorry, sweetheart. If you play games with me, you’d better be prepared for the consequences. You won’t win. I’ll be back in an hour, maybe two.” He touches my pussy that is dripping with my own cum and that needs to be fucked, and then he licks his finger clean.

  He walks over and grabs his clothes. Then, he walks out of the room, leaving me tied to the bed and full of need.

  That asshole. If he thinks it’s just going to make me want him more, then he’s right. Fuck him!

  If only I could.

  14

  Arlo

  It’s been a long twenty-four hours. I should learn to always be prepared for the unexpected, but it’s not something you ever get used to. I’ll never get used to taking someone else’s life. Even someone who deserves to die. It’s still hard. It’s something that stays with me forever, and it makes me that much more of a monster than I already am.

  Matteo walks over to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. “Thanks, man, I owe you. I didn’t see him.”

  I just nod. He owes me dozens of times now for saving his life. If he was anyone else other than my brother, I would have made him sign a contract showing exactly how much he owed me and how he would be paying me back. But he’s my brother. He’d do the same for me.

  Matteo starts to remove the bullets from his gun.

  I grab his hand, annoyed that I have to expla
in things to him for the millionth time. “You are never safe. You are always a target. The second you let your guard down is the second that you die. As much as you annoy the fuck out of me, I’d prefer it if you wouldn’t die.”

  Matteo smiles like he always does. Like this is all just one big game to him.

  I sigh and shake my head. That’s why I need to be in control of the family. I have to protect him and everyone else. Enrico used to care enough to do it, but he doesn’t anymore. He turned cynical after my mother died. And Matteo doesn’t take anything seriously.

  He glances down at my shirt where the blood is pouring out. “Come on, let me stitch you up anyway.”

  “I can do it myself,” I say, frustrated. All I really want to do is go find Nina and fuck her senseless. I desperately need a distraction.

  Matteo laughs. “No, you can’t. This is the one thing I’m better than you at. Let me stitch you up. I need you to stay alive and not die from an infection or some shit so that you can protect me in the future.”

  I roll my eyes. I don’t need anyone to take care of me. Least of all my brother. But I don’t really have a choice. The bullet went through my stomach and out my back. I can deal with the stomach wound, but I can’t really do much about the wound on my back.

  “Fine,” I say and follow Matteo to his section of the house.

  The second I step into the hallway, I can smell Nina. The light perfume smell that still lingers from the day she applied it on her wedding day and the tiniest hint of fear but mostly sex. She smells like sex.

  “What did you do?” I glare at my brother as I run into his bedroom. The whole time, I think that Enrico broke in because Matteo forgot to lock the damn door or tell security to alert us the second that Enrico returned. All I can think about is her body and soul being broken again. And I can’t handle it. Not so soon after the last time it happened.

  I burst through the door to the bedroom and see Nina tied to the bed. Naked.

  My cock hardens automatically at the sight of her naked body. It doesn’t do that for just any woman. I’ve walked in on countless naked women before. But there is something about Nina that my cock just can’t resist.