by Ella Miles
Nina screams, sobbing behind me, but I don’t turn to look at her. I’ll deal with her later. Right now, all I can think about is Arlo.
I get to him in seconds, immediately applying pressure to his wound to try to stop the bleeding.
“Just hold on, Arlo. You’re going to be okay,” I say, not really believing my own words. Of all the times Arlo has been shot, this is the least safe I have felt when saying those words. Not just because his wound is in one of the worst places for it to be, but also because, at any second, Enrico could shoot him again.
Arlo winces as he tries to move.
“Relax. Just stay still, and let me take care of you.”
He closes his eyes and then opens them. “You…”
“Shh, just rest.”
“You have power now,” Arlo barely gets out.
It takes me a second to realize what Arlo is saying. But he’s right. I have power now. Nina gave it to me the second she saved me.
“Move aside, Matteo. If he’s not dead already, I need to finish the job,” Enrico says as he walks toward me.
I stand slowly, putting my body between Enrico and Arlo. “No.”
“You don’t get to tell me no. Now, move,” Enrico says.
“No, you don’t have any power anymore. I have all the power. Nina chose me. Now, back off.”
Enrico glares at me while holding the gun, aiming it at my heart.
Instantly, the men in the room all aim their guns at Enrico. They are my men now, and they will protect me without me having to say a word. Even from their old master.
Enrico lowers the gun and takes a step back. I exhale. I have power. Now, I just have to get Arlo to a hospital, and he’ll survive.
But, before I can give the order for my men to transport him to a hospital as fast as they can, shots ring out.
They stop almost as fast as they started. But, when the smoke clears, it’s easy to determine what happened. Enrico shot Nina, and my men shot Enrico. My heart drops when I see them both lying on the floor. Both possibly dead in a second.
I walk past Enrico. I will deal with whatever is left of him later. It hurts to walk past him. He was, after all, my father. But I have two more important people that I need to ensure stay alive.
I run to Nina. He shot her in her already damaged leg, but it was enough to knock her unconscious and make her breathing weak. She won’t survive much longer without immediate help.
“Get Nina and Arlo to the hospital. Now,” I give the command and watch as the men immediately break into two groups, one group going to each of them.
I walk back to Arlo, mainly because he’s awake and I’m not sure how I feel about Nina at the moment. I still love her, but right now, she’s pissed me off for making such a stupid decision.
“No…” Arlo croaks.
“Shh, I don’t know what your deal is with going to the hospital, but you are going whether you like it or not. You need to be in surgery. I can’t save you.”
Arlo shakes his head. “Nina. Make sure she’s safe.”
I smile at my brother. Always the martyr. “I’ll protect her to the ends of the earth. She’s safe. Always,” I say, keeping the same promise I made to Arlo when he came to me almost seven years ago.
“You are the worst patient ever, you know that?” I say to Arlo as he tries to climb out of bed for the hundredth time this week.
“I don’t give a shit. I need to see her,” he says as he stumbles out of bed, probably popping his stitches in the process.
I grab hold of him to keep him from falling. “Fine. I’ll take you to her if you let me push you in a wheelchair.”
He grumbles.
“It’s not like you have a choice, not in your state, and even if you were healthy, I have the power now. I have dozens of men who will keep you in this bed forever if I told them to,” I joke.
He glares at me, not appreciating my joke.
I sigh and go get the wheelchair. I help him into it before wheeling him down the hallway toward Nina’s room. I’m not sure why he wants to see her so badly anyway. She’s not awake yet.
That was a stupid thought. I know exactly why he wants to see her. The same reason I’ve spent all of my time split between both of their rooms. Because he loves her as much as I do.
I open her door and wheel him over to her bedside while I go around and sit on the other side of her bed. We each hold on to her hand, both willing her to wake up. To survive. We didn’t go through all of this mess, only for her to die.
We sit like this as the minutes tick on. Neither of us speaks out loud, silently begging her to wake up.
Her eyes open. And she smiles, squeezing both of our hands.
Arlo and I exhale, relieved that she is awake.
“How do you feel?” I ask.
“Like I just got hit by a car, a train, and an airplane, all at the same time,” she says.
“I will have the nurse increase your pain medications.”
She nods.
But that’s all any of us says as more minutes pass. None of us can find the right words for this situation. There are no right words. Only wrong ones.
“So, who do you want? Me or my brother?” I tease, although I’m not really teasing. I need her to choose one of us. I need her to choose me. Controlling the Carini empire means nothing to me without her by my side.
I expect her to smile, like she always does. She knows that I made a joke to try to lighten the mood, but she doesn’t smile. Her eyes go back and forth between both of us.
“I want to go home.”
My heart sinks. That was the one answer I wasn’t expecting. I wanted her to choose me. But I don’t understand her choice.
“I thought you saved me because you…” I can’t finish.
“Because you thought I loved you more?” Nina finishes for me.
I nod.
She closes her eyes a second as a wave of pain hits her.
“I saved myself. That’s all it was. I didn’t want either of you to die. But it ultimately wasn’t about either of you. I chose one of you to save and one to die because I had to save myself. Arlo had been shot the most, and I felt he had the best chance of surviving.”
My eyes widen. My heart has just been ripped from my body. I thought she loved me. How stupid was I?
I look across to Arlo, who seems just as hurt. Not surprised. Just in pain.
She really did play us all.
“Of course,” Arlo finally answers for us because I’m too angry to say anything. “As soon as you are well enough to fly, we will have you on the first flight home. But you do need to know that, when you leave here, you aren’t safe. You need to hire the best protection you can.”
“What do you mean, I’m not safe?” Nina asks.
Arlo sighs. “We think Enrico survived. We think some of the guards were still sympathetic toward their old master and saved him. It’s also possible that Erick and Clive want you. Not as likely, but they aren’t happy that we took you from them. If they realize that we let you go, they might come after you. Or any number of our enemies. Promise me that you will protect yourself.”
“I promise,” Nina says.
Arlo drops her hand and begins to wheel himself out of the room. I follow, not even able to look at Nina right now.
When I get to the hallway though, I explode. “We are not going to just fucking let her go. Not after everything we went through!”
“Yes, we are,” Arlo says.
“Like hell we are! She almost killed you. And she played both of us to save herself. She…” I can’t even finish.
“We are letting her go.”
I glare at him. “You aren’t the boss. I am. You can thank that stupid little cunt in there for that.”
“She ripped out my heart, too, but keeping her would make us as bad as Enrico. We aren’t the best people in the world, but we are better than him.” He pauses. “But, ultimately, that decision is up to you.”
I look at him with a raised eyebrow.
“So, you are going to respect that I am the new head of the family?”
He nods. “Do I still have a job, working for you, or do I need to find employment elsewhere?”
I smile as Arlo and I shake on our new arrangement. I turn my attention toward my heartache in the hospital bed on the other side of the door. I don’t want to keep being a monster, so I’ll let her go. But I feel my heart harden as I think about Nina. My heart closes off a little more to the world.
My father used to always say that my mother betraying him was what he needed to become the leader that he was. He needed that heartbreak to become a stronger, more powerful leader. And I think, for the first time, that he might be right.
27
Nina
My heart races much too fast as the plane lands in Miami. In just a few minutes, I will get to be in my husband’s arms again. This is the moment I never thought would happen. But somehow is.
It seems like forever passes, but finally, it’s my turn to depart the plane. I stand up, my body still aching and painful from my injuries. I’ll have scars the rest of my life. Not all of them visible, but they will always stay with me and remind me of my time in Italy.
I walk off the plane, following behind the people in front of me. I don’t have a bag, nothing but the clothes on my back, and my nerves make me want to run past the slow people in front of me, but I don’t. I’m patient. I’ve waited this long. I can wait a few more seconds.
But, when I walk off the plane, I can’t hold back any longer. I quickly run through the airport, scanning the signs so that I can find the way out of the secure area and to where I know Heath and Eden are waiting for me.
The stupid signs are confusing as hell, but I finally start running in the right direction. Minutes pass as I run through the airport until I finally see them standing there.
They start running toward me at the same time that I run toward them. Alarms start going off as they run into the secured area without permission. A security guard stops Eden, but Heath gets through.
We collide together. My arms go around his neck while he lifts me up into his arms.
Tears stream down both of our faces.
And we have no words.
None are needed to express how we are feeling.
We are back together, and that’s all that matters.
Eventually, Heath starts carrying me back to the unsecured area where we are met with guards giving Heath dirty looks.
“You would do the same if you’d just gotten the woman you loved back after thinking she was dead,” Heath says.
The guards slowly back off. That’s when I see Eden trying to hold herself back because she wants me and Heath to have a moment together. But she can’t.
She throws her arms around both of us.
“I’m so glad you are safe,” Eden sobs.
We all sob.
“We tried so hard to get to you. But we weren’t even allowed into the country,” Eden says.
I wipe her tears and Heath’s and then my own. I shake my head. Of course the Carinis told the government to keep them out of the country.
“I’m glad you didn’t succeed in getting into Italy. I just wanted you both to be safe. You couldn’t have saved me anyway. I had to save myself.”
They don’t question me. They just hold me, wrapping me in their love.
“I love you so much, Nina. I’m never going to let you go again,” Heath says.
“I know all you want to do is fuck her, Heath, but good luck getting me to let her go anytime soon,” Eden says.
We all laugh.
“I love you both so much. Let’s go home,” I say.
I do love them both, but I also can’t help but think of the two other men I also love. Men I love just because they saved me. That’s it. It will eventually disappear. I just need to get back to normal. Whatever that is. Then, my love for them will fade while my love for Heath and Eden takes over.
“You can fuck me harder than that,” I say as I roll off of Heath.
He sighs. “I don’t know how I can fuck you much harder than that, Nina, without hurting you.”
“You won’t hurt me. But I like it rough.”
“I know, but all I think about when I have rough sex with you is what you must have gone through.”
I frown. “Maybe I want you to erase those memories by making new, darker ones.”
“What if I can’t erase them?” he asks.
I exhale. It’s the fifth time he’s asked me that in the last six months. My wounds have mostly healed, but it’s clear that Heath’s have not. I know I should be just as patient with him as he is with me, but it’s hard. I’m ready to live life to the fullest while he is more cautious than ever before.
I hear a knock on the door and groan. Heath gives me a look that tells me to be nice, but I still grumble as I grab a robe and walk to the door.
“Yes, Jeffrey,” I say to the most cautious member of my security team.
“I heard a loud noise and wanted to check and make sure you were okay, ma’am.”
I sigh. “I’m clearly fine. Heath and I were having sex. You don’t have to check on me when I’m having sex. We’ve already had this conversation.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am. It won’t happen again. Have a good night.”
“Good night, Jeffrey,” I say, closing the door before taking off my robe and heading back to bed. “Are you sure we can’t hire someone else?” I ask, climbing back into bed with Heath.
“He’s the best.”
“He’s overly cautious, and I can’t do anything. I don’t feel normal.”
Heath frowns. “The only thing that matters to me is that you are always safe. I can’t lose you again. You’re too important to me.”
I nod. “Snuggle with me.”
Heath obliges me, wrapping his arms around me as the conversation ends. Within minutes, Heath is asleep while I do everything to stay awake, thinking about my new life. A life where I feel almost as trapped as I did at the Carini mansion. Trapped by Heath’s worries. Trapped by my own security team.
The only place I can escape is in my dreams. Dreams I shouldn’t be having. But they are the only place where I feel free.
“You aren’t happy,” Eden says as she munches on her pizza.
“Of course I’m happy. I’m with a man I love. I’m safe. What more could I need?”
“Heath isn’t happy either.”
My heart stops when she says that. “What do you mean?”
He’s never shown me any signs that he’s unhappy.
“He loves you. He always will, and he will never tell you this because he loves you so much and doesn’t want to lose you, but his whole life has become about you. He obsesses about you. He doesn’t work anymore. He doesn’t have hobbies or friends. All he does is worry if you are safe. You have to set him free.”
I swallow hard just as Heath walks over. He said he would let me go to lunch with just Eden and my security team to ensure that I was safe. But he can’t even do that.
Eden turns and sees him, too. “I’m going to take my pizza to go.” Eden gives Heath a sweet smile and me a knowing look before she leaves.
“She didn’t have to go,” Heath says.
“She needed to. Can we talk?” I ask.
“Of course.” He takes Eden’s seat across from me.
“I don’t know how to start this.” I swallow and then say some of the hardest words of my life, “I love you, Heath. That will never, ever change, no matter what happens. You don’t know how happy I am that I found you before I was kidnapped. Knowing that I had you to return to kept me alive more than once, and for that, I’m forever grateful. And, if I hadn’t had been kidnapped, I’m sure that we would have spent a lifetime being happy together. But I was kidnapped. And it’s changed us both.”
“What are you saying?”
“That we both feel trapped right now. And that’s no way to live. I want us to be free.”
Heath narrows his eyes at me as he
tries to understand what I’m saying. “I love you, Nina. I’ll do anything for you.”
I smile. “I know you will. It’s one of the reasons I love you so much. But this isn’t healthy. Neither of us is really living. We are just worrying that something is going to happen to the other. We are living in fear. And I can’t have that. I think we need a break. Not necessarily a breakup. But just some time to live on our own.”
“No, I don’t want to be without you.”
I feel the knot in my stomach. I could lose him if I do this. But I need some time on my own. I need some time to figure out who I am without a man again. I need some time to figure out where my heart lies.
“I’m not saying forever. Just give me one month. One month apart, and then you tell me how you feel. Then, you tell me what you want.”
He scowls.
“I’ll have the security team with me the whole time. You can still get daily reports. And I’ll call you often. I just need to be alone for a little while. And I think you need some time to find yourself again without me.”
He narrows his eyes, but I see he understands.
“Can you agree to that?”
“One month?”
I nod.
“I’m going to miss you like hell. But, yes, I’ll always give you what you need.”
Thirty days go by far faster than I ever thought it could.
I’ve spent my time doing everything I never thought I would. I rented a tiny shack in the middle of nowhere, and I spent my time reading, going to the shooting range, and painting. Even though my paintings always turned out horrible, they were therapeutic to paint.
I talked to Heath several times over the month, and every time I did, he sounded happier. Freer. He started working again. Hanging out with friends. Living again.
I’m starting to be happy again, too. I still don’t know what my future holds, but I do know that I don’t need a man to take care of me to be happy. I can find happiness in myself.
Today is the last day of our month apart. We haven’t talked about what we are going to do on our first day back together. We haven’t talked about how we are going to be reunited, but I’m sure Heath will call later tonight to make a plan.
