by Ella Miles
I hear a knock on the front door of the cabin I’m renting. I walk to the door, already knowing it’s Jeffrey.
I open the door. “What’s up?”
“I have a letter for you, ma’am.”
“Thank you,” I say, taking the letter from him and heading back to my sofa as I stare at the letter that I know is from Heath.
I slowly open the letter while trying to guess what’s inside. Tickets to Hawaii? He’s always talked about wanting to go there for our honeymoon that we never had. A love letter? Something naughty, like maybe a picture of his dick?
But what falls out of the envelope isn’t any of those things. I unfold the legal document and read the attached small note.
To my beautiful Nina,
I love you more than life itself. I will always love you, and I know you will always love me. But that doesn’t mean we are meant to be together forever, just to love each other forever.
You set me free when I needed it the most. I couldn’t see how it was for the best at the time. Now, I do. And, now, it’s my turn to return the favor.
Love forever,
Heath
I glance back to the legal document. Divorce papers. I flip to the last page where Heath signed the document.
A single tear drips down my face and onto the document. He loves me, and I love him, but sometimes, love isn’t enough. Not when I spend all my nights dreaming of another.
28
Arlo
My life is miserable. I live a pathetic existence. But, at least, I have a life. I never thought I would be okay with giving up control to anyone, least of all my brother. But that is where I’ve found myself.
He makes most of the big decisions about the direction of our family while I run the day-to-day business. I handle the meetings and the tactical team. Basically, my life is the same as it was before, but instead of taking orders from Enrico, I take them from Matteo. My life is a little better but only slightly.
Right now, all I want to do is go back to my bedroom, sleep, and try to forget about everything. I’ll have to drink a fifth of whiskey to have any shot of sleeping without dreaming about Nina. But that’s what I’ll have to do tonight. I need a dreamless sleep.
I unlock my door and walk inside. I still immediately. Someone is here.
Enrico?
Clive?
Erick?
Or any number of my enemies. Someone is here to hurt me. I pull my gun out, ready to take out whoever is here. I might not be happy, but I don’t want to die. Not anymore.
I silently search my rooms, looking for the intruder, but I don’t find anyone. My heart beats faster as I go from room to room until I only have my bedroom left. I creep to the door and throw it open with my gun aimed. Then, I see my target standing in the center of the room.
Nina.
I close my eyes and open them again because I’m sure that my mind is playing tricks on me. Someone else is standing in my bedroom. Not Nina.
“Hello,” she says in her sweet voice.
Then, I know she’s real.
I lower my gun. “You can’t be here.”
She nods. “I won’t stay long.”
Please stay, my heart begs.
“How did you get in here?” I ask, hoping that Matteo doesn’t know she’s here.
He has been dealing with her rejection worse than I have.
“I snuck in. I know I shouldn’t have, but I needed to see you alone.”
I exhale, trying to seem unaffected by her presence. “Matteo has been a mess without you. He says he has his shit together. But he’s lying.”
“I’m sorry I hurt your brother.”
I stare into her eyes, searching for why she is here. Revenge? Closure? What?
“I was hoping you would answer a few questions that I have left.”
I feel the tightness in my chest when she speaks. I would do anything for her. I’d die for her. I almost did. But the way she said that has brought up too many memories of her exchanging questions for sex. It’s not fair—what her words do to me—and she knows it.
“Of course,” I say instead of trying to keep my shit together.
She bites her lip. She’s nervous. As nervous as I am. But I don’t know why when she has all the control. She has all the power she always has.
“Why did you save me?” she asks.
“Because you saved me first.”
“How did I save you?”
“I hated my life before I saw you. I was tired of my father’s games. I was depressed. I wanted to kill myself. I was going to kill myself that night. I thought it was for the best. If I were gone, my father would have no choice but to let Matteo inherit everything. But then you fell into my pool. I saw how obsessed you were with me, and it intrigued me. It gave me something to live for. I was curious about you, about your obsession, and I couldn’t kill myself without knowing more about you even though, for your safety, I knew I needed to stay far away. Your obsession with me kept me alive.”
I closely study her, but she guards her feelings well.
“What do you dream about?” she asks.
“You.”
“Who do you love?”
“You.”
Seconds pass before she does anything, but slowly, a grin creeps up on her face. “Good. Because you are the only one I dream about. It doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t understand why my heart aches for you when I love so many others. I love Heath. I love Matteo. But I don’t dream of either of them. I don’t obsess about either of them. I love them, but I love you more.”
I run to her. Wrap her in my arms. And kiss her with everything I have. It doesn’t feel real until she kisses me back just as hard, holding nothing back. Our tongues push into each other’s mouths, begging each other for more. Our hands dig into each other, promising never to let go. We are never going to be able to stop, but we can’t stay here.
I force myself to stop.
“What are you doing?” she asks, panting hard.
I grin, soon planning on never stopping. I’ll fuck her forever if she lets me.
“We can’t stay here.”
“Why not?”
“Because Matteo will kill one or both of us if he finds out that you chose me over him.”
She frowns. “Are you sure?”
I nod. “He’s not in a good place right now. We need to leave.”
“But can you really leave your brother? Can you really leave your life and everything behind to run away with me? To live a life of always hiding, always running, never being safe?”
I pull her back to me, threatening our safety with another kiss. I’m not sure that, once I start kissing her, I’ll be able to stop ever again. She draws me back in, promising that she doesn’t ever want to stop either.
“I’ll gladly give up everything for you. I love you, Nina. I’ve always loved you. Even when I wouldn’t allow myself to feel it, it was there. I love you. You are my obsession. You are the reason I’m living. I’d rather run and hide with you forever than live a life alone here. The only chance of ever being happy is with you.”
She grins and quickly kisses me again. “Good answer. I love you, too. I’ll run with you forever. It’s the only way I’ll ever be free.”
I kiss her one last time, and then we run. Hopefully, we won’t have to run forever. Matteo is going to be pissed that Nina chose me. That I’m abandoning him now. But he’ll soon forgive me. He’s the least of our worries. One day, we will have to stop running. We will have to face our enemies. But that day is far into the future. Right now, I will enjoy running. I’ll enjoy living for the first time in a long time. I’m free as long as I have Nina by my side. Forever.
29
Epilogue
Nina
I feel the emptiness. I don’t have to reach over in bed to know that Arlo isn’t there.
We’ve been running for a year, but it feels more like traveling. Like one long vacation that never ends. It’s wonderful. I love every second that Arlo
and I get to spend together. I’m in love. I’m happy.
But it’s not enough.
Every day that passes makes me realize that more and more. That we can’t continue on like this. Arlo loves me, but he isn’t truly happy. He still has nightmares every night. He still thinks about his family every day. And as in love as we are, just existing together doesn’t give his life enough purpose. Not when he was used to a life far more exciting than what our life has been the last year.
I just don’t know how to bring purpose back into his life again.
I sit up and see Arlo sitting outside on the patio of the villa we are staying in.
I sigh. I already know what he is doing. Painting another one of his nightmares by moonlight.
I get out of bed and walk out to him.
“Can’t sleep again?” I ask.
He nods as he sits in his boxers behind an easel looking out over the ocean.
I walk behind him and put my arms around his bare chest, wishing that I could take away his nightmares like he takes away mine. I look at the picture he’s painting, expecting another horrible image of a person he feels guilty for killing, but it’s not. Instead, he’s painting a beautiful picture of us. Together. Happy.
I smile.
“You’re painting us?”
“Yes, I had a good dream.” He grabs my arms and brings me around until I’m sitting in his lap.
“Why don’t you sleep when you have good dreams?”
He grins. “Because this dream was so good that I was afraid I would forget it.”
I narrow my eyes to look at him, not sure I believe him. “Are you happy, really? I know this year has been hard for you. I know you don’t like running. I know you miss your brother and sister. I know you miss having a purpose.”
His smile disappears. “Is that what you think? That I’m not happy?”
I nod slowly.
He shakes his head. “Are you crazy? I’ve never been happier.”
“But you’re depressed. You still have nightmares almost every night. You are away from your family. How can you be happy?”
He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear as his other arm wraps tighter around me. “Because I have you. I love you, Nina. Yes, running has its downsides. The life that I used to live has consequences that I live with daily. But I wouldn’t give up the last year I’ve had with you for anything. I wouldn’t give up the future we will have together either.”
I hear his words, but I still worry. I want our life together to be amazing. I want him to follow his dreams. I want to not live in fear of our enemies coming after us. I don’t want to worry that Enrico or his men are hiding behind every corner.
“Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“Stop worrying. We have each other. Nothing else matters.”
“I just want you to have more than just me. I want you to live out your dreams.”
He dips me back in his arms as his lips hover over me. “You’re my dream, Nina. All I want is you and our future together.”
He lowers his lips to mine and kisses me. Butterflies form in my stomach and my heart beats wildly as his tongue pushes deep into my mouth. Every kiss does this to me. A year of kisses has done nothing but make me fall more in love with him. If I was uncertain of which man I loved before, now I know. No other man makes me feel like Arlo does. My love for him is more than an obsession. This is what love feels like.
His lips leave mine and our eyes meet. Dirty thoughts read across his eyes.
I bite my lip. I never get tired of sex with Arlo. No amount of sex ever fully satisfies us. We both need more. Constantly. In some ways, it’s probably a good thing that we spend our whole life together just living like we are on vacation because I don’t think either of us could hold down a job.
“Care for a midnight swim?” he asks.
I don’t know why he asks. He already knows my answer. Probably to make up for all of his controlling behavior before. Now the only time he gets to control me is during sex. And even then, only when I let him.
I nod.
He lifts me into his arms as he runs down the beach to the ocean. I kiss his neck as I anticipate what he’s going to do. Sex with him is never the same. I’m never prepared for how far he takes me or what he’s going to do. He always takes me right to my limit when it comes to what I’m comfortable with without ever going over what I can handle. He knows my body better than I know myself.
I stare into his eyes trying to guess what kind of mood he’s in as he carries me into the cool water.
I squeal as the water hits my toes and Arlo laughs, splashing more water on me as he carries me deeper into the water. He’s definitely in a playful, happy mood tonight.
I wrap my arms around his neck as he dunks us both into the water. I immediately try to swim toward the surface to get some of my body out of the cool water and to breathe again.
Arlo holds me under.
I try to remain calm even though I didn’t take much of a breath before he pulled me under. But the seconds pass and I feel my chest aching for a breath.
I can’t breathe.
I try to swim toward the surface but Arlo’s arms hold me down under the water.
I panic.
I fight his arms trying to let him know that I need a breath now but he only holds onto me harder.
I open my eyes pleading with him for a breath. When I see his eyes staring at me though I immediately relax. He moves forward and places his lips over mine giving me a breath.
His eyes tell me to trust him. That he will never hurt me.
I love you, I mouth.
He grins and then his mouth moves down my body as he pulls my nightgown off over my head. His lips take my nipple into my mouth as he continues to hold me under the water.
I gasp, releasing some of the air he gave me leaving me little left.
But my body doesn’t panic. I trust him completely. He knows when I need air and when I don’t. And his lips on my body when he’s in complete control makes everything more intense.
He pushes us up toward the surface just before I feel my air running out.
We both take a deep breath when we hit the surface before he kisses me again taking all my air.
He grabs my hips and lifts me until my legs hang over his shoulders and his lips hover over my pussy.
“I can never get enough of you,” he says.
I moan as he licks my sensitive area.
“Lick me,” I command, liking that now that I’m on top I have some control over him.
He grins as he does what I say.
“God, Arlo, that feels so good.”
“You like that baby?” Arlo says.
I grab his hair and suck in a breath when he calls me baby. Every time he calls me by a term of endearment I get wet for him and he knows it. It’s what I wanted for so long and now that I have it, I lose my mind when he does it.
“I’m still in control baby. Take a breath.”
I suck in a breath and grab his hair firmly before he dunks me under the water again still licking my pussy as I go under backward. He holds me down, massaging my breasts and holding my head under water, while keeping my pussy and legs wrapped around his head above the surface.
That’s what I focus on. Him. The feeling of him bringing me intense pleasure. He moves his tongue faster while I’m under water and I can’t keep from coming much longer. But I also need air. It’s an intense feeling that I don’t know what I want more. Air or coming.
I choose coming.
I scream under the water as my pussy pulses around his tongue.
Not until I stop does he let me back up from the water.
I breathe heavily and quickly, gripping onto his head as he gently lowers my body into the water until we are at eye level with each other.
He sucks my lip into his mouth while I catch my breath.
“I meant what I said. I can never get enough of you, Nina. I want to fuck you every way I can. I want a life with
you. Kids with you. I want it all with you. That’s all I want.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Kids? You want kids with me?”
He grins. “I want to see what your body is like pregnant. I can’t imagine how big your breasts will get.”
I laugh. “After the pregnancy comes a baby that you have to take care of.”
“I know. I still want it.”
I grin. “How about we just figure out to find our own happily ever, just the two of us, first?”
He nods and then kisses me and I know things are about to get dirty again.
“How about we get to dry land again before you have your way with me again?” We’ve tried having sex in the ocean, but it is never as good as dry land.
He grins and carries me out of the water and back into the villa. When we are back inside, he tosses me a towel. I catch it and begin to dry myself off while he does the same.
I walk over to my dresser to find a new nightgown to sleep in when I see my phone has a missed voicemail from Eden.
I smile and pick up the phone.
“Eden called.”
Arlo growls as he grabs my waist and begins kissing me again. I get lost in the kiss for a second before he pulls away.
“Fine, call her back. But I’m only giving you ten minutes before I’m coming after you and having my way with you so make it quick,” he says with a gleam in his eyes.
I laugh and take my phone back out on the patio as I listen to Eden’s voicemail.
I wait for Eden’s voice to speak, but she never does. Instead, I hear a much more terrifying voice.
I wrap my towel around me tighter as I listen. My eyes immediately scanning my surroundings, afraid that our lives are now in danger. My body shakes with a mix of fear and anger with every word that I listen to.
This can’t be happening.
I lower the phone from my ear just as Arlo comes to get me.
“I know I said I would give you ten minutes, but I came up with an idea for how I want to fuck you and I can’t wait.”
