“Why didn’t you just leave?” I wondered aloud, watching her face crumple as she began to choke back tears once again.
“I should have. Somehow by that time I had convinced myself that I really was useless. I had given up my career, and I had nothing but what Gianni gave me. I have lived a life of regret, Camdyn.” She looked up at the clouds then, as though she was expecting some answer, but soon returned her gaze to the ground disappointedly. “I was so excited when you came to visit me in Italy, but as soon as you arrived I realized I knew nothing about you. The way you saw the world as such a plethora of opportunity frightened me a little, and I didn’t know how to react, so I just tried to impress you. It was shameful, the way I acted. When I realized Roberto was so taken with you, I didn’t discourage him from proposing to you, because at least you would have been near me. Then, when you left, I begged Gianni to go after you, but he told me you were ungrateful. I locked myself in the bedroom and cried all night.”
“Oh, Rita,” I groaned, closing my eyes and trying to decide whether I believed her. Standing, I moved to the rail of the porch, wrapping my hands around the wood to try to steady my emotions at hearing her words. She had never taken to histrionics in front of me before – it had always been calm, cool, unaffected Rita. Still, how could I know this wasn’t just a new angle in her bag of tricks?
“I know I don’t deserve anything from you,” she stated then, rising to join me at the railing. “The truth is, I was terrified to even come back to the states, but…” She coughed slightly, and when I glanced at her I saw that the tears were flowing freely. “You are all I have. At least, I thought that, until today when I read that journal. Sitting there with your family last night, I couldn’t help but think that you would never need me. You have made a wonderful life for yourself, and there’s no place in it for me. There shouldn’t be, because I haven’t earned it.”
It was at that moment that I noticed that Rita didn’t look well. She had dark circles under her eyes, and her skin looked pale, and I wondered if she had been doing a lot of worrying and crying in that bedroom in Rosalie’s house. It certainly seemed to have that effect on people.
“Why are you telling me this now?” I questioned her, biting my lip. She turned and looked fully at me then, her blue eyes focused on mine. The thought crossed my mind that we might have been seeing each other completely for the first time.
“Because I’ve decided to leave,” she said quietly. “I’ve disrupted your life enough, and I should find my own way, just like you told me. I think I’ll go back to Philadelphia, too, as soon as I save up enough money.” She took a deep breath, and instinctively I knew that thought scared her.
“You don’t need to leave,” I expressed, looking her directly in the eye. “If you want to save up money to go to Philadelphia, you should stay with Rosalie.”
“What did you say?” she whispered in disbelief, trying to focus on me through watery eyes.
“Rita, I’m not going to make any promises I can’t keep or spout any sentiments that I’m not sure I mean, but the fact is, you are part of my family, just as much as Grandpa, or Meg, or Hannah. Whether or not you keep running – that’s up to you.”
“I want to stay,” she answered quietly.
“Then stay.” She almost trembled as she stood there solemnly facing me, and something came over me in that moment. Without giving it a thought, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. As she shook gently, I felt her arms circle my back, and I stood there for a moment simply holding my crying mother. There were no further words exchanged between us, and I didn’t have any expectation that anything would follow our conversation that day, but for a moment we were simply Rita and Camdyn, somehow managing to overcome the past.
When she pulled away from me, rather than smiling or acknowledging me, she simply turned her back, walked down the steps, and traveled the distance to Rosalie’s car. The engine started, and then she was gone, leaving me to stand there on the steps lost in my own thoughts.
-§-
Unable to focus on anything, I walked through the house until I emerged on the back deck, seating myself next to the fire pit and staring blankly into the ashes. When I came to Tennessee, I felt tarnished, like that little cross Rita wore around her neck. Now, though, I had come through the fire, and in the smoldering remains somehow I emerged stronger. Here, in this house, with Cole by my side, I had discovered a beauty I didn’t know existed.
Grandpa believed that my appearance on his doorstep was a miracle. Rosalie thought that my misdirection on that rainy night that brought me here was a miracle. As for me, I was finding it impossible to argue that miracles didn’t happen in everyday life, because I just hugged my mother.
I just hugged my mother.
What the future held for me as far as Rita was concerned, time would only tell. Still, in that moment, the release that came from not hating her was sweet. I fully understood what Father Anthony told me about forgiveness – he had been right. A huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, and I had been set free.
So, the whole Rita issue – maybe a work in progress, but definitely headed in the right direction.
Camdyn Taylor knocked her press appearances out of the park.
I am now going to be talking to Grandpa and Hannah regularly.
Life is good.
Oh, but I might be…
With a start, I remembered the tests that I had shoved into that drawer in the kitchen, and I was about to stand up to retrieve them when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. Looking up, I stared directly into the face of my husband. Somehow he managed to sneak up behind me after having taken a shower, because his hair was still damp. Rather than settle in beside me, he outstretched his hand and pulled me to my feet, wrapping his arms around my waist. Studying that one eyebrow that lifted slightly higher than the other over his dark eyes, I continued to gaze at him while he presented a dazzling smile surrounded by that faint hint of a five o’clock shadow. It was obvious to me that he knew he looked good - still, I returned his smile gladly as I placed my arms around his neck.
“What have you done today?” he wanted to know, continuing to give me that irresistible grin.
“Well, let’s see,” I whispered, looking up as though I was thinking. “Oh, yeah, I remember. Rita came over.”
“Rita came over,” he repeated calmly.
“Yes,” I acknowledged. “I did what you asked me - or what Grandpa asked me, rather. She knows that he loves her, and she intends to go back to Philadelphia as soon as she saves the money. And, I told her she could stay with Rosalie.”
“You told her she could stay with Aunt Rosalie.”
“Yes, is there an echo or something?” I asked with a laugh.
“Cam, I am amazed by you, honestly.” He pulled me closer. “These have been the craziest weeks of my life, hands down. If this is the kind of life I signed up for with you, it’s definitely not going to be boring.”
“You can’t say I didn’t warn you, Mr. Parker.”
“No, I can’t,” he answered, bringing his hand up to cradle my chin as he kissed me softly. “We should celebrate tonight. Do you want me to see if Lily and Jake will meet us?”
“Lily and Jake aren’t together anymore,” I stated nonchalantly. “I ran into Jake today…”
“Oh.” He rested his forehead on mine and smiled again. “I can’t say I’m surprised. I would say we could get Rachel and Jeff to meet us, or Tony and Sara, but do we really want to talk about baby stuff all night?”
“No, we definitely don’t want to talk about baby stuff.” I was grateful he couldn’t see my face, because I’m pretty sure I turned a light shade of pink at that moment.
“So what will we do, then?” I leaned up to kiss him quickly before I answered.
“Maybe we could drive down to the river.”
“And?”
“And throw a blanket in the back of the truck.”
“And?”
“And watc
h the sunset.”
“And?”
“Really, Cole!” I responded with exasperation. “Can’t we just kind of leave it unscripted?”
“Totally unscripted,” he breathed with a chuckle. “Life should be full of surprises. But I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to rain tonight. Just the normal kind of rain.”
“The normal kind of rain?” I clarified, leaning back and smirking at those teasing brown eyes.
“Yes, not the kind of rain that sears the soul, or scratches its way into your memory, or anything like that.”
“You’ve been reading my book.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he assured me with a wink.
“Well, I’m not afraid of rain,” I stated emphatically, entwining my fingers together around his neck. “We met in the rain, after all. The normal kind.”
“Wow, you remember that differently than I do. That wasn’t any normal rain.”
“True, it was more like a monsoon…”
Wow, you smell good.
“No, Camdyn, I actually think that was another kind of rain altogether,” he began, twisting his mouth to the side as though he were giving it intense thought. “That rain washed away all defenses, leaving those caught in it completely exposed. It was the kind of rain that came down in streams and wrote your name on my heart like a branding iron.”
Instinctively, I pulled one of my hands away from his neck and placed it over my mouth, giggling quietly as I inhaled the scent of his body wash that had followed my fingers through the air and now hung between us. Frowning a little, he pulled my hand away from my mouth and held it against his chest with a slight grin.
Gorgeous man.
This is life perfected, isn’t it?
Whatever kind of rain brought me here, I’m grateful for it, and I would stand in it all night.
“Why are you laughing?” he asked. “I’m trying to explain my feelings to you, sweetheart. I thought it was a rather poetic attempt.” He added a wink at the end, which was a good thing, because as much as I wanted to quit chuckling, I couldn’t seem to make it happen.
“Oh, yes, very poetic,” I insisted. “Maybe you should help me write my book about Etta, since you obviously have such a knack with words.”
“No, I don’t think so,” he stated, training his eyes on mine as he brought my hand up and gently kissed my knuckles. “The fact of the matter is, the only story I’m interested in writing is ours.”
“So, our story, do you think it’s going to start being a little more predictable, or will it be one of those keep-you-up-all-night-page-turners?”
“Knowing you,” he laughed, “I should probably be ready for anything.”
“True,” I whispered.
“Do you have any surprises up your sleeve, Camdyn?”
Up my sleeve? Um, no…
I do, however, have a few pink boxes in a kitchen drawer…
Coming soon:
Don’t miss the dramatic conclusion to
The Camdyn Series
Spring 2015
LETTER FROM THE AUTHOR
I have wanted to write this book for a long time, but I wasn’t sure what form it would take. The truth is, Etta’s story came about long before Camdyn ever existed in my mind. It’s a story that belongs to me, as much as any story that is not your own can belong to a person. Bits and pieces of my family history indicate that the types of things that happened to Etta might have occurred to my own ancestors. The thought intrigued me enough over the years that I did extensive research on the subject, and even did my senior thesis on it in college.
I was halfway finished with my first book about Camdyn when I realized Etta’s story would fit perfectly into this series. Altogether “coincidentally,” the character I never intentionally set out to create gave me a vehicle to introduce the story that had been rattling around my brain for years.
I am blessed to be able to share Camdyn’s story, and Etta’s, with you.
Thank you to my family and friends for your help, support, and encouragement – I am grateful for each of you. Special thanks to my somewhat reluctant cover model (you will one day be glad I asked you to wear the yellow hat).
And thank you to God for those well-planned “coincidences” that cannot escape my notice.
A Reason to Forget (The Camdyn Series Book 3) Page 33
