Gilded Wings

by Laura Miller

  Henry is going to be seething when I tell him. Perhaps. There is someone to fix everything.

  I strode towards the kitchen. I was on a mission. Four days left, this is more than possible. Now if I can just find that damn Yellow pages then this can be forgotten and Henry will never know.

  I tore through every cupboard and sifted through each shelf. It was nowhere to be seen. I knew I had placed it back here. My finger brushed over my growing collection of Good Food Magazines and cookery books. Henry. That's it, Henry used it last.

  I hurried out of the doorway and turned right into Henry's office. I hesitated at the handle. I very rarely came into Henry's office. It was his private space. Needs must. I twisted the handle and it failed to open, it was locked. I glanced, inspecting the offending lock, trying to fathom a way to break into a room in my house. I pulled a coin from my jean pocket and braced myself. The coin slipped into the crevice and allowed enough momentum to twist the lock. I pushed the door open and glanced around the immaculate room. His desk sat in the middle. The walls were emerald green with walnut veneered cladding covering the lower half. It seemed like something out of The Godfather. The room was dark, nothing like the rest of the house. It was a representation of Henry in every way. A large sheepskin rug covered the majority of the dark wood flooring. It was the only softness in a room of harsh lines and bold colours. I walked slowly towards his desk trailing my finger over the steel filing cabinets.

  I sat back into the black buttoned leather chair. The atmosphere was inhabilitating. There was no way to describe it. For some unknown reason I felt vulnerable. Intuition was screaming at me. Why had Henry kept you out of here? Knowing I shouldn't I reached for the bottom left hand draw and pulled it open. Stacks of files filled the space. Accounts. Costings, and at the very bottom my much needed Yellow pages. Bingo. I grabbed it slamming the drawn closed. Frustration overwhelmed me. My mind wanted me to find fault. Stupid Stupid girl.

  ***

  Three days, three whole days to fix my laptop, at least it would be back in time, just. What if Henry had emailed? He would question my lack of response. I couldn't tell him. The last time I dropped something he went ballistic. I know I was clumsy and it was my fault for not concentrating. But after not seeing him for fourteen days I do not need to be greeted by yet another bollocking.

  I sat back into Henry's office chair and started up his Mac. He will be none the wiser. I signed into my email account. Nothing. Not one email from him? A ping alerted me to a new email. I looked over my inbox but there was no new email. I logged out of my account and went to shut down the computer.

  A bubble on the screen indicated received mail

  1 New email from Thomas Hatfield

  Why would Thomas be emailing him? Thomas is one of the main buyers for Webber's and attends with Henry on all of his business meetings. Curiosity got the better of me and I clicked to open his inbox.

  Thomas' message was simple - Meeting in Dubai October 22nd 2012, Flight details to follow.

  Another meeting? I sighed. Four days after our wedding? Great. That's the honeymoon out of the question.

  My eyes started to burn. 26 Emails from Antonia Cavill. Socialite bitch troll.

  My hands trembling as I clicked open the most recent email.

  To: Henry Webber

  From: Antonia Cavill

  Date: 20th September 2012

  20.46pm

  Fancy Goa tomorrow? I have two first class tickets booked. Join me and I will pack the beads, I know how much you like using them on me ;-)

  Love you

  My body wanted to shut down. My heart was so heavy, as if it were made from stone. Bellowing aching pushed against my chest, restricting me. Breathing was excruciating; physically paining me. I wanted to scream from the roof tops. Throw all of his clothes out of the window. Change the locks and tell him to take his beads and shove them. However ironic it may have sounded.

  That is what I wanted to do.

  My body couldn’t move. Shock consumed me.

  I shut down his computer. Not before removing the history. My eyes scanned over his office making sure there was no trace of evidence that I had been there. I placed the yellow pages neatly back into the bottom right hand draw. Walking out of his office I pulled the door shut. Twisting the lock behind me.

  Emotions became too intoxicating for me to control. I had no control over my body and collapsed onto the floor pulling my legs into my chest. Feeling so foetal. I wrapped my arms over my legs protectively. Literally holding myself together, shielding myself from anymore pain that may consumed me. My chest tightened.

  He is fucking someone else. I had no capacity to hold in my tears any longer. They fell freely, their trail burning my skin as if they were toxic. My lips trembled and my body shook violently. Floods of tears pooled onto the floor besides my face. I was a quivering mass of shattered pieces. The one person that had loved me, the one person that I had let into my heart had betrayed me.

  Perhaps I had caused this. Insecurity was compelling me to find reason for his desolate affair. Our sex life was near non-existent. Perhaps I did fuel his torrid fuck fest. Perhaps this was my fault. In a moment of utter stillness and dislocation from the world I allowed myself to grieve.

  ***

  I awoke to the sound of the doorbell. I opened my eyes slowly as they gradually adjusted to take in my surroundings and realised I was still lying on the hallway floor. I clambered together standing in front of the huge mirror which hung from the ivory wall. Staring back at me was a broken mess of a person. My eyes were bloodshot. Dark rings circled them. My skin was pale and withdrawn. I had aged ten years in the last five hours.

  "Evie, it's me, I know you’re in there your car is on the drive, let me in." Luce shouted out.

  Shit. Not now. "Um, hang on, I'm um naked, I just ran down for some clothes". I lied.

  "Ok, just hurry your ass up otherwise I’ll be coming in naked or not".

  With one last brush of my hair I took in a deep breath and opened the door.

  "Hey Luce, why are you here?"

  She was beaming, "Well. . . I wanted to know what you are doing tonight?"

  I knew this was going to be a trick question and would lead myself right into one of her ideas. "Nothing, why?"

  "Well we are going out. Connor is having a fight and has asked us all to go, you wanna come?"

  "I'm not sure Luce, I um, well Henry is back soon and I um". Lucy interrupted me. She was never one to take any of my shit.

  "You ARE coming to this fight, it will be fun, you know that thing that people do to be sociable and have a happy fulfilled life?"

  "Well aren't you just little Miss Sarcastic this afternoon".

  "You know me Evie, I just like to inform you of the facts".

  "Where is he fighting?"

  "At Equinox . It's meant to be a big deal fight. Connor has bagged us cage side seats, hell yeah, it's gonna be epic Evie. I love a good fight".

  "You're such a man at heart", I couldn't hold back my smile. Her enthusiasm always rubbed off on me. Of course it had nothing to do with Connor being there.

  “That's more like it. I like a fight and of course don't mind ooogling the men fighting who happen to be impeccably toned, fit and sexy. Just a perk of the fight eh". Lucy winked at me sending me into hysterical laughter.

  "Ooogling? What kind of word is that!"

  "It's an ooogling kinda word, I'm just gonna grab my stuff from the car".

  "Stuff?"

  Lucy glanced over her shoulder smiling at me.

  She strolled in with a bag hitched over her shoulder and three shopping bags. "Well, I need stuff to get ready for tonight".

  “Just invite yourself over why don't you!"

  "I just have. Now where is the vino? Actually, don't worry, I'll find it". Lucy headed into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Bollinger, "This is all I could find?"

  "Better crack it open then".

  She filled two large glasses to the rim, "You'
re not trying to inhibilitate me are you Lucy Bertie?"

  Pointing to her chest and dropping her hip she replied in a I’m-a-completely-innocent-girl voice. "Moi, never".

  She headed over to my stereo and clipped in her iPod. The sound of the black eyed peas filled the room. My eyes welled at the lyrics 'no no no no, baby no no no no don't lie'.

  "Hey Luce can we change the song?"

  "Yeah sure, what do you want on?" Her eyes looking at me quizzically.

  "Something dancey? - We are getting ready for a night out and all".

  "That's my girl. This any better?"

  Jessie J's voice sang through the speakers. Strong, Independent woman. That's more like it.

  ***

  "Come on Evie, the cab is waiting".

  I ran down the stairs and grabbed my clutch. Tonight we were going for the sexy yet casual look. I wore my khaki skinny jeans and a cream blouse which I had tucked into the waistband. I finished the look with a brown skinny belt and my nude stiletto pumps. I felt confident. Also very much looking forward to seeing Connor's ripped physic all hot and sweaty. Mmmmhmm.

  We pulled up to Equinox. The domed curve of the building against the night lit skyline was breathtaking. It was dove grey with strobe lighting crossing the starlit sky. The sound of the music from inside the building was intense. I could feel the vibration through my body. As we walked through the glass doors the size of the building became apparent. The ceilings were sky high and everywhere I looked bodies were packed tightly. This was unnerving. We clutched hands determined to make sure we arrive to the rest of the group together.

  “Travie!" Lucy shouted. Her voice was lost in the noise of the room and the background music. Tugging my hand she walked us in the direction of the group. Travie was looking his usual rock some self. Lucy leaped onto him and wrapped her legs around his waist. He in turn wrapped his arms around her as they decided to publicly devour each other’s mouths.

  "Hey Jake".

  "Hey Evie, looking hot baby girl.”

  "Uh, thanks Jake, where is Lex?"

  "She has just gone over to the reception to find out where to pick up our tickets from. Can't get in without a ticket".

  "I thought Luce said Connor had sorted the tickets?"

  "I have". I instinctively jumped at the sound of his deep voice caressing those two words.

  "Hey Connor". Jake called over.

  "Evie you made it". Lex squealed hugging me, exuding her enthusiasm for my presence.

  "Hello again Evie". His eyes staring into mine intently. Why was I acting so irrational? He was a man. A very handsome, sexy, perfect man. But a man none the less. Why did my body want surcome to his ability to debilitate me? Jake and Travie are both attractive men and yet I can talk to them. Yet Connor, Connor manages to send my body into overdrive. My heart rate quickens. My body urges me to touch him. My mind wanders, wanting to taste him, to feel him inside of me. He makes my body yearn for him.

  "Hi Connor, thank you for the tickets. I'm looking forward to seeing you fight".

  He smiled, "Fight?" He lent down and whispered into my ear, "I was hoping you would say you were looking forward to seeing me half naked, hot and sweaty".

  My mouth dropped open and my body tightened everywhere. He leaned up and I could see the smile creep across his lips.

  "See you after the fight Evie, here are the tickets". He handed me five tickets and placed a kiss on my cheek.

  “Oh my God, he is so fucking sexy."

  "He's ok I suppose Lex."

  "Ok huh? - I suppose you wouldn't mind if I asked him out then?"

  Shock covered my face, "Wha, um, oh I um. . . . . suppose not".

  "Gottcha, you like him Evie, just admit it".

  Oh yes I really fucking fancy him. I want him to rip my clothes off and fuck me until we are both hot and dripping wet. I thought best and settled simply with, “I’m with Henry”.

  Our seats were amazing. We were practically twelve feet away from the octagonal cage. The cage was in the centre of the arena and seats wrapped around it with each level of seating being higher than the last. The atmosphere was sensational. Adrenaline ran high throughout the crowd. Testosterone was apparent, men arguing and staking their claim over who will be the winning fighter in tonight’s match. I had never seen Connor fight before but instinct told me he would win. He had to. The thought of him bloodied and crippled with pain was unbearable.

  The surrounding lights dipped. Shadows cast over the faces of the adoring crowds. Bright light centred solely highlighting focus to the ring. In it standing two men, ready to fight to gain supremacy.

  Connor looked delectable. His bare chest glistened against the lighting of the arena. His face looked fiercely dark, standing opposite his opponent. Their bodies shifted slightly, edging between feet, like a preliminary warning threat to one another. Connors frame was bold, wide and toned, he was six foot precisely, or so the guide informed me. But even though Connor was tall and toned he stood a few inches shy of the giant that was in front of him. My heart skipped in fear at the thought of Connor having to battle his way to victory against this huge monster of a man. Jake noticed my worried glances altering between the giant and Connor.

  “Connor will be more nimble and have speed on his side against that big brute.” He offered.

  I was not too sure whether Jakes reassurances were honest or a tactic to subdue my fear.

  “Oh okay, I suppose he needs something on his side, that guy is huge.”

  The ref talked into the microphone, amplifying his voice slightly. His voice was muffled and his words became lost into the noise of the crowd. Connor and his opponent, Santos, tapped fists and walked backwards from one another. Standing themselves opposite one another at either end of the cage.

  Both men psyching themselves up and trying to intimidate the other. Springing from foot to foot. Tiny jumps made to enhance their size and form. Connor was immensely focused on Santos. His eyes never breaking contact. Not once looking fearful of his competitors size.

  The ref called fight and Connor and Santos began to edge in towards one another. Fists raised just below their chins, ready to swing in the right instance.

  Santos edged closer, prepared to make his advance. Connor goaded him, stepping back slightly allowing Santos to creep forward toward him. Santos continued to dance around Connor. His arms raised and fists clenched in a position to shield his face. Connor's arms had relaxed, lowered to waist height, his confidence radiated from him. A small smirk crossed his lips as he prepared to make his move. Connor lightly jabbed out, nowhere near close enough to touch Santos and with minimal effort to ensure his energy levels were sustained whilst he played with his prey.

  Santos became edgy with Connor's movements and decided to swing out first. Santos mustered his energy and lunged forward with his right leg and following through with the same arm. His movement was sloppy, causing his body to lower without connecting with Connor's. Connor sought his window and pummelled his fist into the side of Santos' head.

  Santos staggered back a little, and Connor grabbed his lower leg, hauling it up to his abdomen. Santos' arms pound at Connor's chest, attempting to push him off. Connor lost his footing and Santos used this moment to withdraw his leg from Connor’s grasp and edge away, bringing much needed distance between the pair of them.

  The both drew in, jabbing one another with swings of their fists. Seeing Santos' fist connect with Connor's body was excruciating to watch. The pair ducking and dancing around one another. Minor kicks and jabs being thrown into the mix.

  Santos advanced, with lightning speed it was hard to comprehend his movements until I saw Connor lying on the mat. Santos’ leg has swung and connected with Connor's head, the force sending Connor flying onto his back. I gasped, fear propelling through my body. My hands clasped my face, shielding my eyes from the view of Connor's bloodied face.

  “Don't worry, look, he's up. That's nothing; Connor's tougher than that kick”.

  I peeled my f
ingers away from my eyes to see Jake smiling towards the cage.

  “Oooh he looks pissed now, Santos isn't gonna stand a chance.” The grin across Jakes face was undeniable. He really believed what he was saying.

  When I looked back toward the cage Connor stood strong and looked beyond angry. Connor went in harder and faster, swinging and connecting with his face and body with every strike. The roar of the crowd was inhabilitating. The atmosphere tense and cheering as Connor pummelled his was through Santos.

  The claxon sounded informing that the first round had finished. I inhaled deeply in the comfort of knowing that Connor was fine, for at least the next two minutes before round two.

  The dancing around one another began again, this was the last round and Santos was growing weaker, his body growing slow and uncoordinated. His hits were lazy and misplaced. Connor was conserving his energy. Slowly allowing Santos to draw out his movements and ebb away at himself.

  With a last blow of energy Santos came in fast towards Connor, jabbing and punching. His hits were forceful but nothing compared to the swift uppercut that moved with such grace and force that sent Santos' body flying and grounded to the floor.

  ***

  Crowds barged through the exit doors. Men mimicking moves from the fight and discussing the tactics and results. The crowd was overall in favour of the winning fighter tonight and that gave me a sense of pride. I was right. Time to cash in the bet slip.

  “Lex, I need to put this in to get my winnings”. I couldn’t help but gloat.

  “When? How? I never saw you do that”

  “Ladies room detour” winking at her, “I won’t be long Lex. Wait over by the main entrance with the others and I will meet you there. Drinks on me!”

  Feeling very flush I headed back over to the group. I was stopped in my tracks,