Office Heretics (A Coffee & Crime Mystery Book 2)

by Nan Sampson

  "Precisely."

  "Okay, so you said you found the will. Who did she leave her fortune to?"

  Kate pressed her lips together. "You're not going to believe it - and it is a fortune. Well, a sizeable chunk of change by my standards, anyway."

  Ellie made a moue of disgust. "Don't tell me it was her smarmy boss. Please don't tell me they had a thing."

  "No, it wasn't him."

  Charlie looked up from his notebook sharply. "Kate? No. It can't be."

  Kate looked at Charlie, raised an eyebrow then nodded as she read something in his eyes Ellie was apparently incapable of reading.

  "What? What am I not getting?"

  Kate took a sip of her chai, as if to fortify herself. "Ellie, honey, she left everything to you."

  If this had been a Steve Martin movie, Ellie would have spewed chai all over the table and her companions. Instead, she just sat there for a moment, unable to formulate a cohesive thought. The best she could finally manage was poor scripting for a movie. "That's ridiculous. Why would she leave anything to me?"

  Charlie was sitting there nodding to himself. "She obviously cared a great deal about you."

  "But why? I haven't spoken to her in ten years. This is nuts! It was Kate who actually took the time to stay in touch. Kate, you should have the money."

  Kate just smiled. "No, honey. I don't want it. Lacey wanted you to have it, and it's yours."

  "At least, once the government takes their cut," Charlie quipped.

  It was ludicrous. And it made her feel shameful. She took a gulp of the warm, sweet chai, trying to process what this meant. "I don't get it. But it doesn't matter, except that it's even more important than ever now to find out who killed her. If only so I can choke them by stuffing the damn will down their throats."

  Charlie winced. "I'd watch who you make that particular comment to."

  "Why is that?"

  He pulled out another file folder. This one bore the label, "M.E.'s Report" in bold blue marker. "You don't want to know how I got this. I'm not even particularly proud of how low I had to stoop. It's just a preliminary, but there are some interesting details about her death that won't be reported anywhere else but in this document."

  "Like what?"

  "Like the fact that the killer did exactly what Ellie just said she wanted to do to the killer."

  Kate wrinkled her brow. "Huh?"

  "They stuffed a Twinkie down Lacey's throat, before tossing her body in the dumpster."

  "What?!" Ellie exchanged looks with Kate.

  Kate shuddered. "Oh, Charlie!"

  Ellie was affected, but in not quite the same way. "Well, that certainly points toward a more personal kind of killing, doesn't it? I mean, you wouldn't do that to someone if you didn't really hate them."

  "Unless it's some kind of psycho-sexual thing." Charlie kept his hands on the file folder, holding it closed, almost as if he didn't want the information inside leaking out.

  That made Ellie's head spin. "You mean, like a serial killer? Charlie, that's nuts."

  "But it's possible."

  Kate put her hand up, and her face had gone white. "Does that thing say if she was... raped?" She pointed to the file folder accusingly.

  "No. There does not appear to have been..." Charlie took a breath. "There doesn't appear to have been any sort of penetration. Although her skirt was pushed up and her pantyhose were torn – still that could have been the results of getting her up and over into the dumpster.”

  Ellie's mind was racing. "What about her underwear?"

  Charlie cleared his throat, looked embarrassed. "I, uh, what about it?"

  "Did they find it on her? Was it torn?"

  "I don't, uh, let me, look." He pulled the file close to him again, opened it up in front of him like a menu, holding it so neither Kate nor Ellie could read it. He flipped a page over the top, where they were fastened, scanning the multi-page report.

  "Ah. Here. No. Apparently, she wasn't wearing any under her, uh, pantyhose."

  Kate seemed to have gotten a grip. "Well, that makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, I don't usually wear underwear under pantyhose. Do you?"

  Charlie continued to look uncomfortable. "TMI, ladies."

  "I never wear pantyhose, Kate. Not even when I was a corporate suit. Still, if Charlie's theory about a serial killer is credible then the killer could have taken them as a souvenir. Serial killers take things from their victims, don't they?"

  Charlie nodded reluctantly. "Yes, sometimes, but seriously, Ellie, I don't really think a serial killer is within the realm of possibility."

  Ellie frowned at him. "It was your theory to begin with."

  "Yeah, but..." He shrugged.

  Kate clutched her mug tightly. "Well, it makes more sense than anything else. I mean, who would want to kill Lacey? Really. She might not have gotten the Nicest Person of the Year Award, but she was good at heart."

  Ellie sat back, refraining from commenting on that. Why did the idea of a serial killer make her feel better about Lacey's death? How was it different from a random street crime? Or something more personal, like a jilted lover or a stalker?

  She sighed. "This is impossible."

  "Come on, now, Glenda. You can't give up yet. We've only just gotten started. Let's get back on track here. Kate, do you have anything else you want to share about your visit to the apartment?"

  She shook her head. "Not that I can think of. But we have the key – maybe you two should go next time. You might see things that I didn't think were important."

  "That's a good next step. Okay, Ellie, you're up. What happened with Lawson?"

  She shrugged. "Not much. He's a jerk, and he's guilty as hell about something, but I don't think he killed Lacey."

  "Start from the beginning. Try to remember your conversation word for word," he coached again, hoping, she guessed, he'd have better luck with her than with Kate.

  She related her conversation with Lawson, doing her best to keep on topic. Charlie was nodding as she finished. "Interesting. That doesn’t jibe at all with what I got from Muriel. According to her, Lawson not only should be elected, but nominated for sainthood and Man of the Year. If she’s not in love with him, I’ll be a monkey’s Uncle.”

  He flipped a few pages in his notebook. “On the other hand, I spoke with his admin, a woman named Michelle, and she told me Lawson can’t keep it in his pants. He’s apparently had a fling with at least three women in the office, two of whom have since left the company. I think that's the guilty secret you sensed."

  "Do you think Lacey could have been blackmailing him?" Kate pushed her honey blond hair behind her ears.

  "I wouldn't put it past her. She could be smug and self-righteous when she wanted. But it doesn't sound like she needed the money, so if she was doing it, it was for something other than cash."

  Charlie nodded again. "Like that promotion she just got, maybe?"

  Kate wrinkled her nose up in distaste. "Do you think he might have killed her because of that? Isn't Lawson married?"

  "Married with three kids. Lives in the older section of Glen Ellyn in one of those remodeled Victorians."

  Charlie chewed on the end of his pen. "So presumably he's got a lot to lose. Especially given his candidacy for public office."

  Ellie thought about it, thought about her reactions to Lawson. "I don't know. He's a creep, but I can't believe he'd kill her. Fire her maybe. Illinois is a fire-at-will-state. Or have her re-orged out of his department, or even out of the Chicago office. But killed? It just seems so extreme."

  "But if Lacey exposed his affairs, that would ruin his chance in the election, wouldn’t it?" Kate held out her hands. “Not to mention his marriage.”

  Charlie snorted a laugh. “Well, this is Chicago. We let dead people vote and three of our governors are in prison. But yeah, it certainly would make it a tough run. As for the wife, that might be more recoverable. I mean, think about it, Kate. What if some woman told you Dan was having an affair? Would you
automatically believe her?"

  "Well, no, but Dan and I have a solid relationship. I know where he is, even when he's not here. I just... I know him. I would know if he were doing something stupid or shifty. For one thing, he's a terrible liar."

  "And I'll bet you Lawson's wife would say the same thing." He chewed his lip. “Still, if I were Lawson, I wouldn't want the suspicion aroused. Although the easiest way for him to combat it would be dig up some dirt on Lacey and go for a Mexican stand-off. Helluva lot easier than killing her."

  Kate got up, took her cup to the sink and rinsed it. “I’m still trying to imagine what Lacey would blackmail someone over. I mean, if she didn’t feel like she was getting ahead at this company, why wouldn’t she just go get a job somewhere else?”

  Ellie shrugged. There was a time, not so long ago, when she’d been almost as invested in her work as Lacey had been. But even so, if she and her boss had been that adversarial, she would have tried to find something else. Yes, it had been a down market lately, but she at least would have tried. “I don’t know. I do know that Lacey liked to play games. Maybe the situation got under her skin. Maybe she felt like she had something to prove, or felt like she had to win. An ego thing.” As crazy as it sounded, it felt right.

  "I suppose.” Kate bit her lip, looking unconvinced.

  When was Kate going to realize that Lacey wasn’t all sunshine and unicorns? Irritation flared, and she tamped it down. "So, McCallum, how did your deal go?”

  “For starters, as I mentioned, I had a phone conversation with Lawson’s administrative assistant. She couldn’t meet me in person, and we didn’t spend a lot of time, but it was still interesting. I got her take on Lacey, which pretty well matches what we're hearing from everyone else. She thought Lacey was hard to get to know and harder still to really like. The good stuff, however, came from the aforementioned Muriel Theissen. Not what I expected, I guess. Office scuttlebutt, courtesy of Michelle, has it that she had an affair with Lawson a number of years ago and never really got over it, even though he's apparently moved on. Although frankly, I don't see her being Lawson's type." He leaned way back in his chair, tipping it onto its back legs and opened the fridge to grab a cola. "No offense, ladies, but he strikes me as the type to go for the young, blonde model-types who giggle a lot. Muriel is... well, let's say she's not exactly waif-like."

  Ellie nodded. "I remember her from the drinks thing. I got the same sort of vibe from Lawson. He likes 'em dumb and anorexic. Muriel isn’t either."

  Kate was frowning at both of them. "Why does a few extra pounds on a woman make her automatically unsuitable for an affair? That's not right."

  Ellie shook her head. "That's not what I said. What I said was that Lawson seems shallow and wolfish. That sort wouldn't see the value in a real woman."

  "Maybe Muriel has other charms. Maybe she's really good at..." Kate trailed off, blushing.

  Charlie raised his eyebrows in surprise, then sobered. "Maybe. Or maybe she knows where all the bodies are buried." He flipped through his notebook. "Okay, let me start from the beginning, because I think it's telling. Muriel and I met at a coffee shop near her office."

  "Sounds familiar. Was it the Bagel and Brew?" Ellie named the coffee shop where she’d met Lawson.

  “Yeah.”

  “Jeez, we probably just missed one another.”

  "Could be. She spent a good portion of the time looking over her shoulder, and towards the door, as though she expected to see someone and didn't want to be seen. I wonder if she knew Lawson was meeting you and didn’t want to be seen by him.

  “Anyway, I asked her first about the night of the dinner. She said they got to the restaurant about 5:30. Lacey and Muriel cabbed it, Lawson drove his own car, and the clients – oops, sorry, 'vendors' came in their own cab." He glanced down at his notebook. "They did the usual – drinks, appetizers, salads, dinner, after dinner coffee and dessert. Then Lacey excused herself, said she really had to go home, she had an early meeting the next morning. She was headed to the ladies room and then was going to leave."

  He chugged down some of his soda, then continued, referring to his notes. "So everyone makes 'so sorry to see you go, sure you won't stay' noises, but she insists. Muriel says she'll join her on her trip to the ladies room – what is it with you women, that you have to go to the bathroom in pairs? – and the two of them toddle off to powder their noses."

  Ellie interrupted. "Did Muriel say what they talked about in the bathroom?"

  "No. Is that important?"

  "Well, one of the reasons women travel in pairs, as you so eloquently put it, is that it gives them time to dish and gossip. Maybe there was some juicy stuff about the vendors, about the business, or even something personal about one of their dinner companions."

  "Ah. Well, no. I didn't ask. Anyway, so Muriel says they left the bathroom, Muriel walked her to the front door and waved good bye as Lacey headed toward a cab. And that was the last she saw of her."

  "Did she see her get in the cab?"

  "She says no. Says it was cold, and she didn't want to miss out on too much of the conversation going on at the table."

  "But Lacey was headed towards a cab."

  "Yep."

  "So somewhere between the front door of the restaurant and a cab waiting on the curb, she gets sidetracked into the alley and..." Ellie peeled the label off her water bottle, twirling the bottle round and round. "I don't suppose Muriel remembered the kind of cabs that were out front? Maybe we could question some of the drivers. Maybe somebody saw something and they don't even know it's important."

  "Good point. I'll add it to the list of things to look into."

  Ellie was nodding. "Lawson mentioned that Lacey's employee, Cary O'Malley was there at dinner too. We should talk to him as well."

  Charlie nodded, scribbled in his notebook. "Wasn't he the tall, gangly guy at drinks that night who looked like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo?"

  Ellie chuckled. "Yeah, that's him."

  Kate gently laid a hand on Ellie's as she began to reassemble the label she had just stripped off the bottle. "So if Muriel and Lawson - and Cary - were in the restaurant having dinner with a vendor or vendors or whatever, doesn't that automatically let them off the hook?"

  Ellie looked at Charlie, who looked equally as surprised and dismayed. "I hate it when she does this."

  "What, stops you from being compulsive?" He gestured at the bits of blue and white paper on the table in front of her.

  "Oh, shut up."

  Kate gave them a triumphant look, chin up in the air. "I'm right, aren't I?"

  "Kate, no one ever said you were stupid. Yes, you're right."

  Charlie wasn't ready to let his theory go. "Unless the vendors were in cahoots."

  Ellie gave him a look-over-the-top-of-her-glasses look, spoiled by the fact that she didn't wear glasses. "Please. Even for us Conspiracy Theorists, that's a little hard to swallow."

  "It's possible." It was clear from his expression that even he didn’t believe it. He finished off his soda, tossed his empty soda can, Jordan-like, into the recycling bin across the room. "Okay whatever. We'll need to confirm with the vendors and the restaurant personnel that there was no opportunity for Lawson and Muriel to follow Lacey outside, lure her into the alley, kill her and then rush back in for dessert. But barring any bizarre absences, I guess that pretty well scratches them off our list."

  "Did anyone else see Lacey leave? Was there a doorman? A valet? Maybe the maitre d'?"

  "All good questions, none of which I can answer, at least right now." He scribbled in his notebook. "Nice to have lines of investigation to pursue."

  Kate was biting the inside corner of her mouth again. "Looks like you two may need to go undercover."

  "As what?" Ellie swept the little pieces of label into a pile, finished off the water in her bottle.

  "As a young couple going out to dine."

  Ellie rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. No. I plan to go undercover as a person trying to get to
the bottom of her friend’s ugly murder."

  Unfortunately, Charlie had decided to play along. "Aw, come on, Ellie. I could put on a clean flannel shirt. I think I even have some Old Spice somewhere in a box I could splash on. We could hold hands at the table, maybe order one of those romantic flaming desserts..."

  "Yeah, you just keep that Old Spice in the box, and if you try to hold my hand, you'd better have some damn good health insurance to pay for the prosthetic you're going to need."

  "Does that mean you're okay with the shirt though?"

  Kate broke in before Ellie could say anything she couldn't take back. "Seriously. If you're going to get the wait staff to tell you anything, you're going to need to make it worth their while. They'll be much more likely to talk to a couple of curious diners than to 'investigators'." She made little quotation marks with her fingers. "Especially diners that tip well."

  "Fine. Then you and I can go, Kate. We deserve a nice diner in the city after the weekend we've had."

  Kate shook her head. "Sorry, no can do. I've got a memorial service to plan. All this private eye stuff is kind of fun, but Lacey needs a real service. And let's face it, Ellie. I'm better at this sort of thing than you are."

  Well, there was no arguing with that. And they were short on time as it was.

  "I don't have anything to wear."

  "I'm sure you can find something in that mess of a closet of mine. You're a little smaller than me, and I'm a little taller, but there's bound to be something that will do. The place isn't that fancy, is it, Charlie?"

  "Nah. Little Italian place. You could probably get away with a pair of dress pants and a nice sweater."

  "Good God. Fine. But I am not pretending to be your girlfriend."

  "Fiancée?" He batted long eyelashes at her.

  "You like that face? Wanna keep it that pretty?"

  Charlie laughed, got to his feet. "Hah! She thinks my face is pretty. Katie, you need me to do anything for the memorial?"

  Kate shook her head. "I made a list last night before bed of the things I thought I'd need to do. I think I'm good. Dan has offered to help me with some of this."