Ruffling Society

by Kay Moser

  “I’m a boy!” Three-year-old Kazi, Sarah’s baby brother, piped up. His eyes sparkled as he threw both hands up. “A boy!”

  “Well, sure you are,” Pa declared. “But you’re gonna be the first educated Novak when you grow up. Your ma and I decided that when you was born.”

  Sarah winced, then reminded herself, There’s nothing new about such a remark. Ignore it.

  Kazi ran to Sarah’s side, and climbing into her lap, addressed her by her nickname. “Sally, guess what. I’m gonna be smart like you when I’m big.”

  Sarah stroked his dark hair. “You’re already smart, Kazi. You’re going to be educated.”

  “Sally ain’t smart,” Norbert growled through his dark, bushy beard. “She’s just selfish, and she’ll pay for it someday. Mark my word.”

  “Time for dessert,” Sarah’s mother announced. “And I baked a special cake to celebrate Sally’s graduation.” She stood, and in the middle of the table she placed a large, frosting-covered cake with Sarah’s name spelled out in strawberries on top. She beamed at Sarah. “I won’t ever forget seeing her walk across that big stage to get her diploma. And when she won that special award for—”

  Pa interrupted her. “We ain’t interested in all that.”

  “Why Kazimir Novak,” Sarah’s mother protested. “How can you say such a thing? You know how hard our Sally has worked.”

  “What I know is she ain’t my Sally. I used to have a pretty little girl named Sally, but she’s gone and ain’t comin’ back.”

  Sarah’s mouth fell open, but she slammed it shut and locked her eyes onto Pa’s, refusing to show her hurt.

  “Now, my son, Josef, here, has an important announcement to make,” Pa continued. “Something we can take real pride in.” He turned to Josef. “Tell them, son.”

  Josef glared at Sarah. “I’m gonna marry Anuska Sykora, Zivanka’s younger sister.”

  “Now that’s something to celebrate,” Pa declared as he held up his older grandson again. “These here grandsons are the future of this family, and you don’t get no grandsons by letting girls graduate from college.” He turned to Josef. “When’s the wedding, son?”

  “Anuska wants to wait until October when she’s sixteen, but I don’t see no use in that. We’re gonna get married on August first. That way I’ll have her help when harvest time comes.”

  “Wonderful.” Pa turned to Sarah’s mother. “We’ll hold the reception here at our house, Jana; it’s bigger than the Sykoras’ place. Everybody from both families will be here. We’ll have us a real feast.”

  “Not everybody.” Loathing laced Norbert’s tone. “Sarah ain’t gonna be here. She’s too highfalutin to come. She’s gonna go to Colorado to study the classics. Whatever that is.”

  Everyone, except Sarah and her mother, broke into raucous laughter.

  Pa swiped the top of the cake, raking Sarah’s name off. “Cut that cake, woman!” Pa ordered. “We got a real reason to celebrate now.”

  Sarah stared at the letters of her name reduced to slush on the table, and all the years of belittling and negation of her worth gathered in her mind. Her spirits sank; a knot rose in her throat. For one brief moment she was petrified she would humiliate herself by crying. Then Hayden’s words flew into her mind. They resent the fact that you proved they could be more if they tried. Sarah lifted her chin, stared coolly at her father, and said, “I’ll get the coffee.”

  ***

  After Norbert and Zivanka departed with their babies, Pa settled in a rocking chair on the porch with his pipe, and Sarah washed the dishes while her mother put Kazi to bed.

  “You shouldn’t have done that, honey,” her mother protested when she returned. “This is supposed to be your special night, your celebration supper.”

  Taking the dishrag, Sarah scooped the pile of strawberries that had once spelled her name off the battered oak table. “I don’t mind, Mama.”

  “I’m awful sorry Josef stole your pa’s attention with his announcement. I had hoped—”

  “That Pa would congratulate me? Or that Norbert would forgive me for not marrying Havel Sykora?”

  Sarah’s mother took the dishrag away from her. “Just wishful thinking on my part, I guess. The important thing is you know you did the right thing.”

  “I don’t have the slightest doubt, and if I did have a doubt, one look at Zivanka’s face would have shattered it.”

  Sarah’s mother sighed. “It’s a very unhappy marriage, I’m afraid. Norbert didn’t want to marry her, but he felt like he had to.”

  “Because I wouldn’t marry Havel Sykora. I know, I know!”

  “Just because he felt that way don’t make it true, honey. He had choices just like you did.”

  Sarah hugged her mother. “Yes, he did. I’m going back to town now. Thank you for trying to arrange a celebration. I think it went as well as it possibly could.”

  “I hate for you to be walking to town in the dark,” her mother said as she escorted Sarah to the door.

  “I’ll be fine. I certainly know the way by now.” Sarah walked out onto the porch. “Good night, Pa.”

  “You ain’t leaving yet, Sally girl. I got a few things to say to you. Just set yourself down.”

  “Kazimir, you already said everything you got to say,” Sarah’s mother protested.

  “No, I ain’t. Now, both of you just sit yourselves down.”

  Sarah perched on the edge of a rocking chair, but her mother refused to sit.

  Pa puffed on his pipe a minute, making them wait. “So you gone and graduated, girl, and now you think you got it made,” he finally said. “Well, you ain’t got nothing but trouble ahead of you, Sally. You think you’re one of them town folk now, but you’ll see you ain’t. People don’t cotton to a spinster woman, even if she’s educated. You gotta find you a man while you’re still pretty. And you better remember, a man don’t want no girl that’s smarter than him.”

  “It appears to me that Lee Logan wants her,” Sarah’s mother argued.

  Pa ripped the pipe out of his mouth and raised his voice. “So why ain’t we having a wedding before he changes his mind? This running off to Colorado don’t make no sense at all.”

  “Sally wants to learn more so she can be the best teacher she can be.”

  “I swear, Jana. I don’t know why you can’t understand facts. The girl can’t have both. Can’t be a teacher and a wife. Society won’t stand for such nonsense.”

  Sarah interrupted them. “Things are changing, Pa.”

  “Some things stay the same.” Pa’s voice hardened. “A woman ain’t worth nothing without a husband and children. You’s mighty close to losing your chance for both. That man, Logan, ain’t gonna wait forever. Mark my words, Sally. You leave town, you’re gonna lose Lee Logan. Ain’t that what all this education’s been about—catching a better husband? Ain’t that what you and your mama been scheming for?”

  “It is not!” Jana protested. “I want Sarah to have choices.”

  “Once she was born a girl, her choices ended,” Pa shouted. “Ain’t no more to it!” He jumped up and stalked off the porch. “I got livestock to tend.”

  Sarah shook her head. “It’s no use, Mama. He’ll never understand. I don’t know why …”

  Her mother sighed and settled into the chair her husband had vacated. “Oh, honey, your pa comes from another world. In his eyes, you gained more than any woman should ever hope for when he left the old country behind. I know you and your brothers weren’t even born, but in the young Kazimir Novak’s eyes, he was acting the hero. He was risking the ultimate loss so his children could have everything. After he made it to America, he worked his young manhood away on other men’s land until finally he was given the chance to buy this farm. He can’t even imagine that there’s more than that. It’s the most he ever dreamed of.”

  “I know the family history, Mama, but it doesn’t explain his stubbornness.”

  “I think that maybe your going further than he could go makes
him feel like less of a hero. Like he didn’t save you enough.”

  “But he plans to educate Kazi, doesn’t he? Part of his dream is for his youngest son to leave the farm, get an education, and be a professional man. Why can’t he have the same dream for me?”

  “You know the answer to that, Sally.”

  “Yes, I do.” Sarah rose from her chair and walked to the porch railing. “But I have made my decision. I want to teach. I want to do for other girls what Victoria and Maude did for me. Girls deserve a chance, and I agree with what President Wiseman said. We need to use all the brainpower we have in this country.” Sarah whirled around. “Why must it be either marriage or professional life for girls? Why can’t it be both?”

  “Tradition dies hard, and the facts of reproduction don’t change.”

  “Well, I plan to keep on skirting tradition. As for reproduction, if I don’t marry, I don’t have to worry about that.”

  “And what about your feelings for Lee Logan? It’s obvious to me that you have some strong ones.”

  Sarah bit her lip. “I love him,” she whispered. “I won’t deny that, not to you, Mama, but I can’t allow myself to think about my feelings. I just can’t! I’ve invested so much, and the need to educate girls is so great … Oh, Mama, what am I going to do?”

  Her mother rose and put her arm around Sarah’s shoulders. “A lot of serious praying. And listening. I think it’s a good thing you’re going to Colorado. Being away from Riverford, from Lee Logan even, will help you sort things out.”

  CHAPTER 6

  On Sunday morning, Sarah accompanied Hayden to St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. As she stepped out of the sunny brightness of the June morning into the dusky, dark-paneled foyer of the church, she worried about Victoria. Attending the commencement exercises followed by hosting a party had proved too much for Victoria, who was already frail after weeks of nausea and sleepless nights. I should have … I should have … oh what? What should I have done?

  She turned back toward the heavy door. “I think I’ll go home and sit with Victoria,” she told Hayden.

  “No, it’s better to let her sleep while she can. You know how she is … If she knows you’re there, she’ll force herself to chat with you.” He stared at the stone floor a few seconds, his brows lowered, his face pinched with worry before he suddenly raised his head and said, “Listen, I’m sorry, Sarah, but I have a dozen things to do before the service begins, and Father Neville is waiting for me.”

  “Can I help?”

  “No, no. Thanks anyway.” He waved as he turned away. “Just enjoy the quietness of the church.” He stopped and turned back to her. “You will pray for Victoria, won’t you?”

  Sarah’s pulse skipped a beat, then raced so suddenly she felt her breath had been knocked out of her. “Hayden, what is wrong with her? This has gone on too long. We must do—”

  He held up his hand to stop her. “I feel the same way you do about it. Something just short of panic. As you know, Victoria insists it’s the heat, and the doctor agrees. The truth is, she has no capacity to endure heat. That white skin and red hair of hers are beautiful, but not very practical for Texas summers, I’m afraid.”

  “Then why aren’t you taking her to Europe as you have in the past? Is it the war that’s stopping you?”

  Hayden studied his hands, shook his head as he exhaled loudly. “No. The truth is the store’s not doing well, and there are some other pressing matters I can’t discuss.”

  “I didn’t mean to—”

  “It’s okay.” He waved her comment away, then turned and strode through the double doors into the sanctuary.

  For a second, Sarah caught a glimpse of the beautiful, filtered light of the sanctuary, but the dark doors shut, cutting off the light. Sickening dread draped down the length of Sarah’s body as she watched the light disappear. She dropped her gaze to the stone floor. Victoria is not okay, and Hayden clearly blames himself. But how can I help?

  Translucent shades of blue and green floated across the stones, at first dim and muted but slowly intensifying in color. She looked up, seeking the source ... a stream of tinted light pouring across the foyer. She held out her hand and watched the colors wave across it, then followed the peace-inducing glow until she gazed at the dominant window in the foyer. In the soothing shades of spring, the stained glass depicted Christ holding out His hands to all who would pay attention. “Come unto me, all ye who are heavy laden.” Tears welled up in her eyes. That would be me.

  Sarah walked halfway down the aisle, slipped into her favorite pew, knelt, and began to pray. She began with prayers of gratitude, then prayed that she would make wise choices in the future. She turned to the window to her left and studied the figure of Christ exhorting His disciples to spread the gospel to the ends of the earth. As she had done over two years ago when unsure of her life vocation, she focused on the word “Teach” spelled out in the text of the window. The choice she had made then—to fight for an education—had been daring, but it had been the right choice.

  Yes, but there are even greater lessons to be learned from my three-year journey. God has never abandoned me, and He makes His direction plain. I must watch for it. I must dare to follow even if it is not the traditional path.

  Sarah remained on her knees even after she heard the organist begin to play and sensed the arrival of others in the church. She did not look up until she heard the rustle of silk, smelled the scent of lavender. When she did, she found that Lavinia knelt beside her. The handkerchief that Lavinia extended provided Sarah’s first clue that she had been crying. She looked past Lavinia and met Lee’s concerned eyes. He pulled out the kneeler for his mother before sinking to his own knees.

  Lavinia put an arm around her friend and drew Sarah closer. “Lee will wait,” she whispered. “He loves you. Besides, I forbid you to plan an autumn wedding.”

  Startled, Sarah stared at her friend a moment before demanding in a whisper, “Why?”

  The organ boomed forth the opening bars of the processional hymn, and the congregation rose. Sarah tried to catch Lavinia’s eye, but she had turned toward the center aisle. As Sarah studied her back, she realized that she was looking at a whole new Lavinia. Her friend stood tall in a new, pale-green silk dress which skimmed her figure—a figure Sarah had never known she possessed since Lavinia had always worn simple, baggy clothing. Lace inserts decorated the bodice of the dress and ran down the sleeves, and miracle of all miracles, Lavinia actually wore a hat with silk flowers! My Lavinia … my scholarly, bookworm friend. Good heavens! Her hair is curled!

  When the crucifer, accompanied by acolytes carrying tall candles, bore the cross past them, Lavinia bowed as gracefully as a lady at any royal court. Sarah was totally mystified until Father John Neville processed by and smiled down their aisle, clearly seeing no one but Lavinia. Stunned, Sarah found Lee’s eyes. He grinned at her and pushed his chin up with his finger. Sarah blushed when she realized he was telling her to close her gaping mouth. She covered her embarrassment with a discreet cough.

  As the service progressed, Sarah stood, sang, knelt, prayed, listened, stood, sang, knelt, and prayed some more—all the proper actions of the liturgical service—but she could not concentrate. Obsessed with Lavinia’s transformation, she kept watching for significant glances their way from Father Neville. As they returned from the communion rail, Sarah managed to walk next to Lee.

  “What is going on?” she whispered.

  “It seems that Father John Neville values an intellectual woman who is not afraid to speak her mind,” Lee answered as he ushered her back into their pew. He held her elbow a few seconds longer than necessary, adding, “And so do I.”

  Sarah did her best to make her final prayers into apologies to God for her inattentiveness during the service, but just as she began to make progress, a man raced down the center aisle and pulled Dr. Shockley out of the communion line. As the doctor followed him up the aisle, everyone smiled. Clearly, a new baby was about to enter the world. />
  When all had received communion, returned to their pews, and recited the final prayers of thanksgiving, Father Neville turned to the congregation to give his parting blessing before the recessional. Much to Sarah’s astonishment, Hayden rushed down the center aisle, his hand in the air. He spoke briefly to Father Neville before facing the congregation. Sarah’s stomach turned when she saw the ashen color of Hayden’s face, and she wanted to put up her hand and ward off whatever words he was about to utter. Instead, like all the congregation, she stood stock still awaiting the blow.

  “Friends.” Hayden raised his voice. “Friends, I apologize. A messenger has just come from the Baptist Church. It seems that—” He fell silent, closed his eyes, and bowed his head without uttering another word.

  Father Neville stepped forward. “Richard Boyd has had a heart attack while attending the services at First Baptist Church. He is unconscious, and the prognosis is not promising. Rev. Wright is asking that all Riverford churches join his congregation in prayer for Richard Boyd at this time.” He held out his hands. “Let us pray for a miracle of healing and the comfort of Mr. Boyd’s wife, Christine, and their children.”

  Sarah slumped to her knees and burst into tears. The man who had saved her family was dying? How could this be? Her mind flew to her beloved friend, Christine. The woman who has been my guardian angel, the kindest soul I’ve ever met—oh, God, no! Not Christine! Across the sanctuary, others began to cry as they collapsed into huddled groups on the pews or sank to the kneelers. Women openly sobbed as tears streamed down the faces of men.

  Lavinia joined Sarah as Mrs. Logan sank to the seat of the pew. Lee knelt and tried to stretch his left arm around both Lavinia and Sarah while he reached back to hold his mother’s hand. Father Neville began to pray, but Sarah could not comprehend the words.

  Suddenly Sarah remembered General Gibbes, Christine’s aging father. A revered Confederate general. A pillar of strength. He was a member of St. Paul’s but attended the Baptist church on alternate Sundays. She scanned the congregation; he was not present this morning. Oh dear God! Please, please let General Gibbes be with Christine. Please!