When I Found You

by Brenda Novak

She tightened her grip on his hands. “About making a baby?”

  “You don’t know it yet?”

  “Know what?”

  He gave her a long, slow kiss. “I’m going to marry you.”

  “Oh, you are,” she said. He’d never promised this before, but she was still afraid to trust it. What if his father died and the coming trial of her mother tore them apart? What if his brothers freaked out and made him choose them or her? What if the childhood trauma of finding his mother dead in her bed made real commitment impossible for him?

  “Yep. It’s true.”

  Despite her caution, his words were filling her with hope, and the pleasure he was giving her was also tempting her to believe him. “You’re so sure—” she tried to draw the breath she needed to finish her sentence “—of my answer you’re not even going to ask me?”

  He groaned as he drew closer to climax. “You’ve always been the smart one,” he said. “You’ve known all along that we were meant to be together.”

  At this, she stopped him. “But...now?” Her words fell to a reverent whisper. “My mother may have killed your father.”

  He framed her face with his hands. “That has nothing to do with us.”

  “I doubt your brothers will agree.”

  “Maybe they won’t. But they’ll accept it, because they’ll have no other choice. I could never be happy without you, Tash.” He pecked the tip of her nose. “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

  Their relationship had been so confusing and hurtful at times. She could tell he felt something, but it never seemed to be enough. “Why now?” she asked.

  “You mean why not when we made love seven years ago? I hurt you then. I was so stupid. I let you marry someone else and could’ve lost you for good.” He rested his forehead on hers, and his breath fanned her lips as he spoke. “Can you forgive me? Please?”

  She couldn’t hold a grudge against him. That was impossible for her. So she wasn’t even going to pretend. “Of course I forgive you. But...”

  “Don’t say ‘but,’” he broke in as he licked his way down her neck.

  She continued anyway. “I was just going to say that I can’t think right now. We should probably talk about this after.”

  “I like talking about it now, when your defenses are down,” he joked.

  She could feel his tongue circle her nipple. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted,” she said before she even realized that she was speaking those words out loud. She hadn’t meant to vocalize what she was thinking. But he was right—at the moment, he had her at a disadvantage.

  “I’m happy to hear that.” His teeth flashed as he smiled. “So about making a baby...”

  Orgasm was inching closer, making it even more difficult to think objectively. “Baby?” she gasped. “You want a baby?”

  “Why not? I turned forty-one this year. I’m getting up there.”

  She wasn’t opposed to having another child. Not with Mack. But... “I don’t think it would be smart,” she said.

  Obviously disappointed, he stopped. “Why not?”

  “Because if I get pregnant, you won’t be able to change your mind about me. You’ll feel too obligated.” There. She’d blurted that out, too—exactly what she was thinking—and held her breath as she awaited his reaction.

  “I’m not going to change my mind, Tash,” he said earnestly. “I’ll never give you any reason to doubt my love again. I’m finally where I should’ve been seven years ago—ready to flip off the whole world, if necessary, and love you no matter what.”

  This was complete surrender. Had it been anything else, she would’ve argued that it was too soon to talk about something as life altering and permanent as a child together. But she’d been in love with Mack for fifteen years, so it felt more like it wasn’t soon enough.

  She brought his face down to hers for a long, deep kiss. “Okay,” she said as she exhaled and let him take them both the rest of the way.

  * * *

  “I don’t know if this is a good idea.” Natasha smoothed her sundress as she got out of Mack’s truck and looked dubiously at the hospital.

  Mack hit the lock button on his key fob, took her hand and pulled her toward the entrance. “It’ll be fine,” he said, but he wasn’t completely convinced that was true. He had no idea how Grady, in particular, might react to seeing Natasha. He only knew he was no longer going to let that or anything else get in his way. Why it took him so long to get to this point, he didn’t know. He remembered how sick it had made him when he heard that Natasha was getting married, how he’d struggled for years to bury the pain and the loss, and how he couldn’t help hanging on every word Dylan received from her. Mack had even secretly collected the pictures she’d sent of her and her son, had them all saved on his phone.

  He supposed part of his reluctance to get together with her was that he’d dubbed her off-limits for so long and then tried so hard to remain circumspect about the fact that their parents were once married. And when she came back to town and he ran into her during Victorian Days, he felt guilty for letting it turn physical, as though he’d betrayed his brothers and what they’d set out to do where she was concerned.

  Now he was finally just willing to accept reality. He was almost a decade older than she was, and they’d met in an unconventional way, but they were in love. It was that simple. He wished Lucas was his son. But Mack wanted to be part of his life regardless. What he’d said to Dylan when Dylan found out Kellan wasn’t his had meant something to him, too. It was love that mattered, not genetics.

  “Maybe I should take the truck back to Little Mary’s,” she said, her steps slowing as they drew closer. “I can pick you up later, whenever you call me.”

  He scowled. “Quit being a little chicken.”

  She scowled right back at him. “I’m not a chicken. I’m being sensitive to the situation.”

  He ignored the proffered euphemism. “You haven’t done anything wrong. There’s no reason you can’t be here.”

  The automatic doors opened with a whoosh, and he felt her fingers, which were threaded through his, tighten. “I feel bad for you and your brothers,” she said. “I really do. For your dad, too. But I also feel defensive of my mother. She was high when she did what she did. I know that’s no excuse, not in a normal situation. But your father’s an abuser, too. It could easily have been him who shot her.”

  Mack led her toward the elevators. “And your point is...”

  “It wasn’t as if she purposely set out to kill him. She doesn’t even remember it.”

  He let his gaze slide over to her. “She left town afterward.”

  She pulled away from him. “She was scared.”

  He understood. Anya was her mother. Of course she’d feel some sympathy for her. Natasha’s split loyalties put her in an unenviable situation. But he was willing to bet what she’d said wouldn’t go over very well with his brothers. “I get it. Just...don’t say that while we’re here and we might be okay.”

  She chuckled at his response. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I’m a little too honest.”

  He put his arm around her and drew her back to his side. “No worries. I love you, warts and all,” he added with a grin.

  She tried to elbow him, but he purposely held her too close to allow it, and they laughed as he punched the elevator button. He’d never been happier, couldn’t believe that he’d finally made peace with his heart—and with her. He’d meant it when he said they’d get through this. She was the most important thing to him. He’d no longer let anything get in the way of being with her.

  As they stepped into the long corridor on the third floor, he took her hand again. “For the first little bit, maybe you’d better let me do the talking.”

  “Be my guest,” she said. “I—”

  She fell silent as soon as she looked up and saw Dylan and Rod coming toward th
em.

  Mack braced himself for the encounter. He knew his brothers would feel a little funny about him being with Natasha in a romantic sense. They’d always pressured him to stay away from her in that way. But he was no longer going to worry about that, and they needed to get used to the change. He and Natasha could already have a baby on the way; he hoped they did. “Hey. How’s Dad?”

  Dylan didn’t seem all that surprised, but Rod’s eyes widened as he took in their clasped hands.

  “Doing better,” Dylan replied.

  Mack knew Natasha was eager to hear their father’s prognosis. The better J.T. did, the greater the chance of her mother getting out of this mess with a minimal sentence. But she didn’t say anything. “In what way?”

  “Vital signs are improving. No more problems with his lung. They moved him out of ICU a few minutes ago and into another room.”

  “I got your text on that. Thanks.” Mack hoped that bit of good news, together with the knowledge that Anya had turned herself in, would be enough to get Grady to relax. “Where’re you guys going?”

  “To grab a bite to eat,” Rod said. “Would you two like to join us?”

  “No, we’ll get something in an hour or so. Dad alone?”

  “Aaron and Grady are there.” Dylan caught Natasha’s eye. “Thanks for the text about your mother. Are you okay?”

  “I think so,” she said.

  Rod pointed to their clasped hands. “This is moving fast. Does it mean what I think it does?”

  Mack lifted Natasha’s hand and kissed her knuckles. “Yep.”

  “Took you long enough,” Dylan joked.

  Mack laughed. “I can be a little slow.”

  “Not to mention stubborn,” Natasha added, which made Dylan and Rod laugh.

  After his brothers said goodbye and got on the elevator, Mack kissed Natasha’s hand again. “Two down, two to go.”

  “We don’t have to do this right now,” Natasha said.

  “Why not?”

  “Because it might be easier on Grady if I’m not here.”

  “I’ve already told him we’re going to be together,” he said and looked for the placard on the wall that would direct them to Room 301.

  Twenty-Six

  After having witnessed a fight break out between Mack and Grady, Natasha was nervous to walk into J.T.’s hospital room. While she was happy with Mack’s sudden determination that they would be a couple regardless of what anyone else thought, she was sensitive to the fact that Grady had a problem with her right now. He’d never been her biggest advocate, but he’d mostly been supportive. It was hard to think he didn’t want her around anymore.

  She held her breath as Mack led her into the room, and Grady and Aaron, who were involved in some sort of discussion about the auto body shop, fell silent.

  “Hey,” Mack said.

  Aaron rocked back in his chair. “What’s up?”

  Grady watched them dubiously, his lips compressed in a firm, straight line.

  “Just coming to check on Dad,” Mack replied. “Dylan said he seems to be improving.”

  Aaron looked over at the bed, where J.T. was still hooked up to all the standard equipment. “Yeah. They’re careful not to say too much, for fear it doesn’t go as we hope, but I think he’s going to make it.”

  “I doubt they’d move him out of ICU if they were as worried as they have been,” Mack said.

  “Exactly,” Aaron agreed.

  Natasha let go of Mack, approached the bed and took J.T.’s hand. “J.T., if you can hear me, it’s Natasha. I’m so sorry about what happened. Just want you to know that we’re all here, pulling for you.”

  There was no response, of course. J.T. was still unconscious, but she believed even a patient in his condition could react positively to love and encouragement.

  Aaron got up to offer her his chair. There were only two in the room and Grady had the other one. “Would you like to sit down?”

  “No, thanks.”

  “Are you sure?”

  When she nodded, he returned to his seat. “I’m sorry about your mother.”

  “So am I.” She turned her attention to Grady. “I know this has been hard for you—everything that’s happened. I feel bad that my being here is somehow making it worse. You were very kind to let me live with you when I was younger and had nowhere else to go, and you’ve been good to me all along, just like your brothers. I’m sure you feel as though no good deed goes unpunished after what my mother has done. But I want you to know that I’ll always be grateful to you, and—” she clasped her hands in front of her because the room was far too quiet and everyone except J.T. was staring at her “—and Mack and I love you.”

  He blinked in surprise. So did everyone else, and it got awkward for a moment. She’d been completely open and honest about her feelings, but Grady didn’t know how to handle that and his brothers didn’t know how to help him. The Amos brothers were good men—the best—but embarrassing displays of emotion were definitely not their style.

  For some odd reason, Natasha felt like she was about to burst into tears. “You don’t have to say anything,” she added less stridently. “I just...wanted you to know.”

  When he saw the tears filling her eyes, Grady surprised her by standing up and pulling her in for a hug. “Mack’s a lucky man,” he muttered and, after a quick squeeze, left the room.

  Aaron and Mack gaped at her. “You’ve grown soft in your old age,” Aaron joked. “Your younger self would’ve told him to fuck off.”

  Mack chuckled along with him. “That’s true. But I tried the ‘fuck off’ approach and it got Grady and me in a fight. The way Natasha handled it seems to be far more effective. ‘Mack and I love you,’ she said. Why didn’t I think of that?”

  With a sniff, Natasha grinned in spite of her tears. “It wasn’t just the saying of it,” she said. “It was that he knows it’s true.”

  Pulling her up against him, Mack kissed her temple. “I am a lucky man,” he said.

  * * *

  Since Mack had already paid for the room, they spent the night at Little Mary’s. Natasha wanted him to sleep in with her and have breakfast, but he had to be at work at eight. He didn’t want the business to fall too far behind, especially because he said it was time to hire someone to take his place, and training that person would slow things down enough as it was. As soon as he could get his replacement up to speed, he was going to move in with her and open up an Amos Auto Body in Silver Springs instead of LA.

  Natasha was worried that Silver Springs was, perhaps, too small a town for an auto body shop to be successful, but he’d pointed out that Whiskey Creek was even smaller. He said it was the quality of his work that would build his business, and she hoped that would make all the difference.

  Even if it took a while for Mack to get his shop off the ground, they’d have her job, she told herself. With what he’d saved and what she could bring in, she was fairly confident they could eke by. Even if they had a baby, she had good medical insurance through New Horizons. And once they had some financial stability, she’d try again to open her own pediatric practice.

  Fortunately, she could tell that was important to Mack, too. He’d always wanted what was best for her.

  She was sitting at the table in the small parlor at the B and B, more hopeful for the future than she’d been since before she hired Maxine Green and her marriage went off the rails, when her phone lit up with the selfie she’d taken of herself and Mack last night.

  She loved that picture. The wind was blowing his hair, he had his sunglasses on and his right arm was looped casually around her shoulders as they smiled for the camera.

  He was so handsome...

  To avoid disturbing the other diners—and since she was finished with her “gold rush” omelet and mixed fruit, anyway—she went outside to answer his call.

&nbs
p; “Hello?” she said, standing on the wide front porch and looking out at the town she’d been so loath to embrace way back when she was a neglected teenager.

  “You finally awake?” he joked.

  She smiled at his emphasis on finally. “Barely. And I might go right back to bed.”

  He laughed. “I wouldn’t blame you. You could probably use the sleep. But I thought you’d want to know—my father’s awake.”

  She felt a burst of hope. “He is?”

  “Yes. Grady just called. Well, he called the shop, and I answered.”

  “But he’s treating you okay?”

  “Pretty much like he used to. After what you said to him last night, I think he realizes that he has no right to try to tell me who I can love. He’s just jealous that I’m moving on, and he’s still single and living at home.”

  She could see why Grady wouldn’t want to be the last unmarried brother, especially when he and Mack did so many things together. “He’s a great guy. He’ll find someone.”

  “You seem to have a way with him. Maybe you can tell him that,” he joked.

  She laughed. “Can your father speak?”

  “Not yet. Have you heard from your mother?”

  “I’m about to go to the police station to see if she’ll accept a visit from me.”

  “You think she’s changed her mind?”

  “I can’t imagine spending the night in jail was easy. She might be glad I came back.”

  “Do you want me to go with you?”

  She couldn’t fathom that he had any desire to see her mother. “No. You’re busy at work. Just get done what you can at the shop, and we’ll go over to see your dad after I get back.”

  “Okay.”

  “Mack?” she said, catching him before he could disconnect.

  “Yes?”

  “I’m so excited about our future.”

  “So am I. But...you still haven’t told me you love me,” he pointed out.

  “Because you already know it—you’ve always known it.”

  “Still, you haven’t said the words,” he said, speaking softer. “I’d like to hear them sometime.”