Be Mine

by Jennifer Crusie

  Then again, considering how she’d melted with excitement at just touching his hand, maybe it would be worth a little humiliation. Men talked their way into bed all the time, didn’t they? They never seemed self-conscious about it.

  Groaning at her own pitiful thoughts, Jenny closed out the register and dropped the key into Rayleen’s hand. “You should really be more careful with that,” she said as Rayleen tucked the key into her bra. “Half the town probably knows you keep it between your breasts.”

  She shrugged. “If I get robbed, it’ll be the most action I’ve seen in a while. Could be exciting.”

  “Yeah? Does that mean there’s nothing going on with Easy?”

  “Ha! I wouldn’t give that old coot the time of day.” But she blushed when she said it, her pale cheeks blooming with color. The old rancher came by at least twice a month to play gin rummy with Rayleen and engage in some verbal sparring. It was looking more and more like foreplay, and Rayleen’s blush gave her away. She’d be getting some action sooner than Jenny would, that much was obvious.

  “So who was that handsome piece of work you were sitting with?”

  Jenny froze in the act of reaching for her jacket. Damn. She’d thought she was going to get away clean. “Nobody,” she said automatically.

  “Yeah? Hell, there’s been nobody in my bed for years. If he’s really Nobody, I’d have a damn big smile on my face every day, missy.”

  “He’s a deputy,” Jenny countered quickly. “He came by to give me some information on a defensive driving class. That’s all.”

  “That’s all? Then you should be ashamed of yourself. That boy has some special frisking in mind for you.”

  Rayleen’s words created an unwelcome image in Jenny’s mind: her body pressed against the hood of his sheriff’s truck, him too close behind her, his hands running down her sides, then back up to cup her breasts.

  “Good night, Rayleen,” she said quickly. She’d already cleaned the bar and locked up the liquor. The last two tables needed clearing and wiping, and she felt guilty passing those by, but Rayleen liked to get the last few things every night. It gave her a reason to hang out until closing.

  Jenny clicked the lock button on the door before she closed it behind her. The least she could do was be sure Rayleen wasn’t robbed because Jenny had been careless. The woman only needed to walk across the parking lot to get to the little house where she lived, but Jenny still worried about her. Not in the off season when it was mostly locals, but during ski season, a lot of temporary workers came through, and Jackson felt less like a small town.

  Walking through the lot, lost in worry, Jenny almost screamed when she heard a car door open just a few feet away. Her heart leaped into her throat, then slammed into a rapid beat as she backpedaled, but as the man stepped out of the truck, she realized it was Nate.

  “Oh!” she gasped, her breath puffing out on a cloud in the icy air. “You scared me half to death!”

  “I’m sorry.” He held up both hands as if he were approaching someone unstable. “I’m unarmed.”

  His forearms looked more than strong enough to make his bare hands into lethal weapons, but she kept that thought to herself. At which point her brain came fully back online and reminded her of who he was and what had happened earlier.

  Her receding panic was quickly replaced by mortification. She had no idea what her face looked like twisted between these two awful emotions, but it was bad enough to stop a seasoned cop in his tracks. He even took a step back, though his shadow stretched out to touch the toes of her shoes. Strangely, that imagined contact made her feel uncomfortable, so she took a step back, as well.

  “Sorry,” he said again. “I just wanted to be sure you were okay.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes. Your ex seemed a little aggressive tonight. I was worried.”

  “Ellis?” she squeaked in shock.

  “Yes,” he said flatly, “Ellis.”

  “Oh, no, you don’t have to worry about Ellis. He’s just...Ellis.”

  “Well, I’ve never arrested him, so I guess that’s a positive sign.”

  “Oh, he doesn’t live here. He’s from Idaho. He’s just visiting. Or something.”

  Nate cleared his throat and took a step toward her. “Visiting you?”

  “No!” she answered so loudly that she made her own nerves jump in shock. “I saw him once a couple of months ago, and then he showed up tonight. It’s been over for ten years.”

  “Ten years,” he repeated, taking one more step. Now his shadow slid over her feet and all the way up to her thighs. She watched it shift over the curve of her legs and bit back a shiver. She couldn’t feel it, but she wanted to so badly that it almost felt like a touch.

  “You were just a baby,” he said.

  “Are you trying to flatter me? You know my birth date. I was eighteen.”

  “Exactly. Just a kid.”

  “Amazing that they let teenagers walk around free like actual humans, much less get a marriage license, isn’t it?”

  His teeth flashed in the darkness as if he was smiling. She wished he were the one facing the light. Then she’d be able to read him and he couldn’t see the mixed-up emotions flashing over her face.

  “Are you—” he seemed to hesitate, his voice growing softer “—involved with anyone right now? Married or—”

  “What?” she interrupted. “No, I’m not married! Or involved. Or anything.”

  “Okay. Good. Me, neither.”

  Me, neither. He could only mean one thing by that, and her suspicion was confirmed when he took one more step. Now his shadow slipped up her body all the way to her breasts. Better than that, she could reach out and touch him if she wanted to.

  “I’m sorry about earlier,” she said.

  “You kind of checked out on me.”

  “I assumed you’d want me to.”

  His head cocked. “Why?”

  She laughed. “Baggage. It’s so sexy.”

  “Hmm. So you’d been hoping I’d think of you as sexy?”

  “Oh...” She couldn’t do more than sigh that small word because his hand came up to cup her jaw. His thumb trailed over her cheek, and Jenny almost whimpered. This wasn’t the imagined touch of a shadow. And it wasn’t the brushing of hands. This was something so much more delicate and sweet and purposeful. And she’d never have imagined that Deputy Hendricks would be the one to touch her this way. A whisper of his skin against hers. Her heart trembled between beats.

  “Did you?” he murmured.

  “What?”

  “Hope I’d think that you’re sexy?”

  “I...maybe. You’re very...”

  He drew closer, his face only inches from hers now. “Very what? Scary?”

  “No,” she breathed. Then, “Yes.”

  “Yes?” Nate bent his head, and his breath whispered over her mouth. “Are you scared right now?”

  “Yes.” A lie. Or not a lie, because when his lips touched hers, her pulse sped with wild alarm and her legs went weak enough that she reached for his arm.

  She sighed against his lips, and he deepened the kiss until she could taste him. The heat of his mouth, the faint hint of moisture as she opened for him, and then his tongue brushing her bottom lip. Just one little taste. Then another. Just as she was leaning closer, he pulled away.

  “Oh,” she whispered again, suddenly yanked from the slow heat she’d been sinking into.

  “I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” he murmured.

  “Have you?” She blinked up at him, still dazed.

  “Yes. You...drive me a little crazy. But I knew I’d be stepping over the line.”

  “Which line?”

  “A couple of lines, actually. One, I was usually giving you a ticket at the time. That’s a clear line. Another being that you didn’t even know who I was tonight. That seemed like a definite ‘Do not proceed’ signal.”

  “You look a little different in jeans. And a button-down shirt.” Worried he wasn’t
going to kiss her again, Jenny dared to stroke a finger along the collar of his shirt, down to where the first button was fastened. “And I’m used to looking up from about waist level.”

  Now she could definitely see his smile. In fact, he grinned so wide she was pretty sure she could count every one of his white teeth. “Whatever you’re about to say,” she ordered, “don’t!”

  “It’s just that—”

  “Don’t.”

  “If you’re more comfortable—”

  “Stop! This isn’t going to be as cute as you think. Believe me, I know. I work in a bar.”

  He shrugged. “It was pretty cute.”

  “No, it wasn’t,” she insisted, but she was laughing. Laughing and curling her fingers around the edge of his shirt, tugging him down. She didn’t have to tug very hard. He ducked his head and kissed her again, and this time his tongue swept deeper. His arms snuck around her and she settled against his chest.

  Jenny’s nipples tightened against the warmth of his body. She shivered as his fingers spread over her back. Even past her jacket, she could feel his fingertips and imagined them against her naked skin. His forearms tightening as he—

  She felt him growl against her lips and realized she’d moaned. Not only had she moaned—into his mouth—but she’d slid her hands up his back and tangled them in his short hair. He couldn’t have gotten away if he wanted to. But did he want to?

  No, he gripped her hips now and pressed her closer. She was tempted to raise her knee. To wrap a leg around him. Just to get closer, to feel him between her thighs.

  This was crazy. She hardly knew him. It was the first time they’d really touched. Which only made it more delicious, of course. The shocking press of their bodies together. The scandalous thrill as she realized he was hard. Hard for her. Turned on by the taste and heat of her mouth. Aroused by her fingers tightening in his hair. If she invited him to her bed, he’d oblige her. There was no doubt in her mind. She could tell by the way he pulled her closer. The way the thick length of him pressed into her belly.

  Oh, God. The thick length.

  She wanted that. Needed it. And if this was a mistake, if it was stupid...hadn’t she already been considering that it was time to go? Time to move on? She could leave Jackson. But first, she needed him inside her.

  She turned her face away, meaning to ask, but before she could find her voice, he put his mouth to her neck and sucked gently at the sensitive skin.

  “Oh, fuck,” she moaned. Her weakness. If he bit her, she’d be— “Oh, God.” His teeth pressed into her nerves with exactly the pressure most likely to make her arch her back like a stray cat in heat. Which she did, rocking against his erection with a gasp of pleasure.

  She felt his breath shiver over her wet skin.

  “Will you...?” she tried, not quite sure what to say or how to make her voice work properly. She inhaled a deeper breath, trying to ignore the careful scrape of his teeth down her skin. “Would you...?”

  “Yes.” That one simple word and it tore through her, destroying any self-control. She hadn’t even finished the sentence. Yes to anything. Yes to whatever she wanted.

  He stood straight, his hand sliding to fold her fingers into his.

  “Do you want to follow me—?” she started, meaning to ask if he wanted to follow her home or ride in her car. But her words were cut off by the loud rattle of an approaching engine. She waited for it to pass, but the racket just got louder, and suddenly the headlights were sweeping into the lot of the Crooked R.

  Jenny didn’t recognize the beat-up white panel van that turned in, but she watched it come to a rocking halt, anyway. A panel van was never a welcome sight in the middle of the night. It called to mind all the cautionary made-for-TV movies she’d seen about kidnappings and serial killers. Still, she had her own personal deputy standing right next to her. There was really nothing to fear. Nothing except...

  The van door screeched open and out stepped Ellis.

  Jenny groaned.

  “Let me take care of this.” Nate’s voice had turned so hard and clipped that it seemed impossible he’d been kissing her neck so softly just seconds before. When he took a step forward, she put a hand on his arm to stop him.

  “No, really. He’s harmless.”

  “Jenny!” Ellis called with a goofy grin, as if she weren’t standing in the dark with another man. Good Lord. Nothing affected him. Ten years ago, she’d thought he was laid-back and sweet. He was. He was also vulnerable and way too open.

  His eyes focused on Nate for a brief moment, and Ellis offered the same open smile. If he’d noticed the intimacy between the two of them, Ellis still wouldn’t be jealous. He never had been, which was why he hadn’t understood her reaction to his occasional slipup.

  Nate seemed to accept the man’s harmlessness at that moment. The arm she’d been grasping lost a taut readiness she hadn’t registered until it disappeared.

  “See?” she said under her breath. “He’s no danger to me.”

  Well, not in the physical sense. But he was becoming a terrible danger to her love life.

  Her heart sank to her stomach when she realized she’d have to send Nate away. Her body practically screamed its objection to that idea. It wanted him. Now. And it didn’t care what price needed to be paid for that privilege. But her brain was working with an unfortunate clarity. She’d asked Ellis to meet her at closing time, and he had, if a little late.

  But maybe she could come up with some excuse. Maybe she could meet him another time. Then again, if she talked to him tonight, it might be done and over.

  They stood in an awkward silence until Jenny finally made herself do the right thing.

  “I’m sorry. I forgot I asked him to meet me. I didn’t know you’d be here. I should really... Damn. Maybe I could call you tomorrow?”

  “Jenny, I don’t know.”

  Ellis finally shrugged and approached with his familiar lope, so Nate lowered his voice. “I’m not comfortable leaving it like this.”

  Neither was she. She was still reeling from that kiss. She was still wet and aching. But she pasted on a smile. “You’d better go,” she said, trying not to let her voice crack with grief.

  Nate finally stopped watching Ellis and turned toward Jenny. She wanted to blurt out an apology right then. Wanted to explain or backtrack or something. But instead she met his gaze and smiled.

  He watched carefully, giving Ellis—who’d miraculously had the good sense to stop ten feet away—one last glance before he shrugged. “All right. But I’ve already got your number, so I’ll call you. Tomorrow?”

  “Yes. Please?” she added, one tiny concession to the wailing grief of her body.

  His shoulders relaxed a little. “I’ll be in touch.” He paused just as he was turning away and aimed a quick glare toward Ellis. “Keep your phone out, okay? Call 911 if you get worried.”

  “It’s fine!”

  And it was fine. She wasn’t the least bit worried about Ellis as Nate walked to his truck and got in. He started the truck and backed out. Her only worry was that he wouldn’t call. And why would he?

  She’d felt nothing but guilt about Ellis earlier, but now she was irritated at what he’d interrupted.

  “I told you to go back to Idaho, Ellis!”

  “I don’t have anything to go back to. I told you I lost my house to the bank.”

  “I know, but those guys you’re hanging around are bad news. Jackson isn’t like your town. There’s money here. And people with money. You don’t know what they’re like. Kids who’ve spent their whole lives getting everything they wanted, and the so-called friends who want a piece of that.”

  He shook his head like she was being silly. “It’s fine, Jenny. I’ve made some good friends, and I found a place to stay down in Hoback. I’m not crashing at Tex’s place anymore.”

  She wanted to shake him. “You always get sucked into stuff, Ellis. Always.” Like marriage.

  He rolled his eyes as if he’d heard her thou
ght. “I’m not a kid anymore, Jennybug.”

  Crossing her arms, she held her ground. “How did you lose your house?”

  “I couldn’t pay the mortgage.”

  “What mortgage? It was your mom’s. She left it to you free and clear.”

  Ellis shifted and scratched his head, then rubbed his arms as if he’d just noticed the cold.

  “I knew it,” she sighed.

  “Look, it wasn’t some harebrained idea. The restaurant was a good opportunity and Chistopher knew exactly what he was doing! He just needed some start-up money. But then the recession hit, and...”

  “Exactly. That’s why people don’t invest in restaurants. And yes—” She held up her hand to stop his next thought. “I’m sure Christopher is a great guy. Everyone’s a great guy as far as you’re concerned.”

  “People are okay, Jenny. You don’t have to be so suspicious all the time.”

  No, people were not okay. She wasn’t okay. Her parents weren’t okay. But she’d never get him to believe that. Hell, she’d left him after a few months of marriage, and here he was, telling her people were nice. “You said you needed a favor,” she sighed.

  “I just need to store some stuff in your garage.” He blinked slowly. “If you have one, I mean.”

  “What stuff?” she asked suspiciously.

  “Landscaping stuff.”

  “Landscaping?” she scoffed.

  “Yeah. I’ve got a good thing started. All these rich people. The resorts. You know.”

  “The resorts have their own gardeners,” she countered. “And in case you haven’t noticed, it’s winter.”

  “I know! I’m on with a plowing company and working the contacts. Right now I’m acquiring a lot of supplies for spring and my van is jammed full of stuff. I need to get rid of some of it.”

  “You said you had a place! Keep it there.”

  “I’m at the Pineview Camp in Hoback. I have to walk to the bathroom. You think I have storage space? Just help me out. Please, Jenny?”

  “God!” she groaned, tipping her head back to glare at the stars. Her breath hovered briefly, haloing the constellations in pale white before the wisps floated away. “Why did you even come here?”