Hot Southern Nights

by Gen Griffin

  “Kerry, I know that your number one concern on this job is covering your own ass but eventually you're going to have enough of these little fuck ups in your record that even the best attorney in the state won't be able to save your job.” Frank tugged on his mustache hard enough that several little gray hairs pulled loose.

  “Most of the incidents you're referring to weren't my fault.”

  “If you kicked a beehive, would it be your fault or the bees fault that they stung you?” Frank Chasson asked him.

  “I don't understand what you mean,” Kerry said.

  “You keep kicking the beehive, Kerry. You keep kicking the beehive and then you come complaining to me when the bees come out of the hive and sting you. Stop kicking the beehive.”

  “You want me to quit investigating the crimes that occur in our jurisdiction?” Kerry asked in disbelief.

  “I want you to quit harassing people,” Frank clarified. “You've made more enemies in 8 months than I have in more than 20 years.”

  “Some people would argue that that means I've been doing my job,” Kerry said defensively. “I'm a cop. The criminals aren't supposed to like me.”

  “The regular citizens don't even like you, Kerry.” Frank gestured at the destroyed police cruiser. “Look at your cruiser. Look at this park. Someone drove your cruiser through the Ladies Auxiliary Rose Garden just for the pure hell of it. They did it for the same reason that they keep spray painting your cruiser and filing complaints about you with the department. Last week, the newspaper published an editorial suggesting less than politely that you should be fired before I lose the next election as a direct result of your actions.”

  “I follow the law,” Kerry reminded him.

  “You interrupted a city council member's 65th birthday party so you could write a noise violation citation.”

  “The music was too loud.”

  “It was easy listening.” Sheriff Chasson slapped the trunk of the tree beside him.

  “I could hear it from the road and it was 10:07 pm. The noise ordinance kicks in at 10 pm.”

  “Did anyone call in a complaint about the noise?”

  “No. I was being vigilant in my duties and I solved the problem before any of our citizens were put in the position where they had to complain.”

  “Or maybe you just interrupted a perfectly pleasant party and made a royal ass out of yourself,” Frank suggested.

  “You shouldn't try to stop me from enforcing the law,” Kerry said angrily. “I do my job. I do my job better than any other officer on this force.”

  “Your cruiser is sitting in the middle of a fountain, Kerry.” Sheriff Chasson gestured at the vehicle in question. “I have a stack of complaints on my desk three inches deep. Half the complaints are about you and the other half were written by you.”

  “What are you trying to say?” Kerry knew that the Sheriff probably couldn't fire him over this incident but the knowledge wasn't making him feel much better about whatever bad news was surely coming.

  “Remember this morning when we talked about you working the cold cases?” Sheriff Chasson asked.

  “Yes sir.” Kerry replied.

  “From now on, you only work cold cases. I don't want you so much as pulling over a speeder. I don't want you anywhere near the public.” Frank yanked out a few more of the graying hairs in his mustache.

  “You're taking me off of active duty completely?” Kerry asked, unsure whether he should feel depressed or elated. He had been looking for an excuse to go through the original records regarding Casey Black's disappearance 8 years ago. Being off of active duty would give him plenty of time to solve Casey's murder.

  “I'm taking you off of active duty,” Sheriff Chasson replied. “You have a desk. You can have the cold cases. Just stay away from my citizens. I can't make any more excuses for your behavior or your problems. There are a lot of people in Callahan County who are very, very unhappy with you right now. The president of the Lions Club is on the county commission. He's not going to be amused when he sees what happened to the fountain they spent five years fund-raising to build.”

  “It was an accident,” Kerry said. “Surely you don't think I meant for my cruiser to be stolen and then used as a tool for vandals.”

  “Your keys are in the damn ignition.” Frank tugged his mustache again. “Our insurance is going to put up a fight about paying for this kind of damage and we can't afford to be down a cruiser.”

  “I can pay for the repairs,” Kerry said with a resigned sigh. He knew it was the only way to get the Sheriff off his back. “But I don't want to pay a premium on top of the normal charges. It’s not fair that David Breedlove doubles or triples the cost of all my repairs just because they're my repairs.”

  “He doesn't like you,” Sheriff Chasson pointed out.

  “You could let me use a different mechanic,” Kerry reminded him. It wasn't the first time he'd made the suggestion.

  “I don't trust any other mechanic for 50 miles.” Sheriff Chasson shook his head. “No. The cruiser will go to David's and you'll just have to eat the bill. Including whatever miscellaneous fees David tacks on because he doesn't want to deal with your ass.”

  “The extra fees are total garbage.” Kerry knew he'd lost the fight.

  “Stop kicking the beehive Kerry. Stop kicking the beehive and maybe the bees will stop stinging you.”

  Chapter 25

  “No. Not just no, but hell no.” David stood on the edge of the fountain and surveyed the flooded police cruiser with a scowl.

  “David.”

  “Nope.” He shook his head at the Sheriff of Callahan County. “Call Marty over at Baker County Wrecker. Get him to come down here with his big semi-hauler and pull it out. Your $250 towing fee isn't worth the damage this is going to do to my 30 year old truck.”

  “I can go $500,” the sheriff said grudgingly.

  “Wow.” Trish was staring at the fountain. “Has that mermaid always been headless?”

  “Nope.” David kept staring at the water that was gushing out of the decapitated mermaid's neck.

  “That's creepy.” Trish pursed her lips at the mermaid as if she were going to say something else but then changed her mind. “So creepy.”

  “Five hundred bucks, cash,” the Sheriff repeated.

  “You can go $5,000.” A familiar gruff voice cut in to the conversation from behind them.

  Trish turned to see Addison walking up behind them. He was dressed in uniform and looking surprisingly perky for a guy who had been out all night shooting alligators.

  “Five thousand?” The Sheriff repeated the amount as a question.

  Addy crossed his thick, muscular arms over his chest and assessed the damage to the fountain. “We're not touching that for less than $5,000.”

  “Since when is David's towing service a 'we'?” The Sheriff snapped.

  David and Addy exchanged a look of amusement with one another. “You can't possibly think I'm going to get Kerry's cruiser out of that fountain on my own,” David said mildly.

  “I think he should just call Marty,” Addison chimed in. “We're going to break your truck. Not to mention that I don't really feel like sloshing around in the fountain.”

  “I'm kind of curious how they got the car over the outer wall of the fountain without breaking the concrete.” David kicked the toe of his boot into the wall in question. “But Addy is right. It's too damn early to be swimming around in a park fountain. Baker County has a better truck for this kind of shit.”

  Frank Chasson glared at them for a long 30 seconds and then let out a huff. “Marty said to call David. He's afraid he might mess up the hydraulics on his truck trying to get this thing out. He says it ain't worth the money to him.”

  “I think the price of this job just went up to $10,000.” Addison rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he studied the submerged cruiser.

  “Not a chance,” Frank replied.

  “I don't think you get a choice.” David looked over at Addy. “If I
won't do it and Marty won't do it, what options are left?”

  “None.” Addy raised one blonde eyebrow at Frank. “Make Kerry pay for the tow job.”

  “I am,” Frank replied.

  “Then $10,000 it is.” David grinned.

  “I should arrest you for robbery,” Frank grumbled. “I'll do $5,000.”

  “You are free to take this particular piece of your business somewhere else,” David told him.

  “$7,000,” Frank offered.

  David and Addison exchanged a conspiratorial look. Addy grinned at the sheriff.

  “You have yourself a deal,” Addison said.

  “Good. Now get the cruiser out of the fountain before the president of the Lion's club has a heart attack.” Frank gestured to a small group of angry looking onlookers who were milling around the far side of the fountain.

  “The local lions do not look happy,” Addison observed.

  “Don't you dare start making jokes,” Frank snapped. “This ain't funny.”

  “Sure it is.”

  “No, it’s not.” Frank shook his head at Addison. “Do you have any idea how many thousands of dollars of damage have been done?”

  “We have insurance.”

  “Not against blatant acts of stupidity by a police officer.”

  “You don't think the county's insurance is going to cover this?” Addison asked.

  “I think our premium is about to go through the roof.”

  “I would appreciate it if all of you would quit mocking me,” Kerry's shrill voice echoed loudly against the relative silence of the park. “My cruiser was stolen in the line of duty. It was then deposited in the fountain by vandals. I'm not at fault here.”

  “Stolen is a debatable term. Your keys are in the ignition,” Frank growled. “And don't even try to tell me they ain't your keys. They key to your house is there and so is the key to your damn convertible.”

  Kerry's cheeks were already flushed a bright shade of pink but his color turned even brighter as he realized that Addison, David, Trish and Frank Chasson were all staring at him. “You can't blame me. I reported the car stolen.”

  Frank shook his head and turned away from Kerry. He focused his turquoise eyed gaze on Addison and David. “Y'all be able to handle this?” he asked. “I've got to go try to convince the lovely folks at the Lion's Club that the Callahan County Sheriff's Department didn't intend to negligently destroy the fountain that they spent five years holding bake sales and benefit lunches to build.”

  “Have fun with that,” Addison mumbled.

  Frank Chasson shot him a death glare and then turned and walked towards the crowd of people who were milling around at the edge of the park.

  “Go get the wrecker,” David told Addison. He sat down on the edge of the fountain's retaining wall and began emptying his pockets. He handed his wallet, keys and a tube of chapstick to Trish. “Hold these for me, will you?”

  Trish nodded.

  Kerry waved a piece of paper in the air between them. “Just so you know, I protest having to pay this kind of money to have my car towed. I'm going to be filing a discrimination charge against the sheriff for this.”

  “Not my problem. Give the check to Trish.” David kicked off his boots. He then removed his socks and began rolling up the legs of his jeans. His legs were surprisingly pale and hairy. He caught Trish looking at them and laughed.

  “You kind of have chicken legs,” Trish teased him. Kerry handed her the check. She glanced down and saw that it was made out for $7,000 dollars with the word 'bullshit' written in the line that was typically used to denote what a check had been written for. Trish folded the check neatly and put it in her pocket.

  “I don't wear shorts much,” David confessed as the 24 foot long wrecker came backwards through the remains of the Ladies Auxiliary Rose Garden.

  “What the crud?” Kerry had to jump out of the way to avoid being crushed under the rear tires of the wrecker as Addison attempted to line the bed of the huge truck up with the back tires of the soggy cruiser.

  “Hey! You nearly ran me over!” Kerry yelled at Addison.

  “Whoops,” David muttered under his breath. He was smiling.

  “Why is he going in backwards?” Trish asked as she watched Addy back the wrecker.

  “I'm not going to have room to turn back around once I get the car out. I can't drive straight through the park either. At this point, I'm kind of going with the theory that what went in should be able to come out the same way. Veteran's Memorial Park isn't a whole lot bigger than a postage stamp. I might as well try not to do any more damage than what has already been done.”

  “You're hoping to get the car out the same way it went in?” Trish asked.

  “In theory.” David finished rolling up his jeans and stepped neatly into the fountain.

  “You have to admit, this is one for the scrapbook.” Addison was already out of the truck. He had his hands on his hips and he was staring at the cruiser with irritation. He turned to face David. “We didn't charge enough money for this.”

  “I didn't want to do it at all,” David said with a shake of his head. “Have I mentioned this water is so warm I feel like I'm standing in piss?”

  “Gross,” Addy replied.

  “Can the two of you stop screwing around for five minutes and actually do your jobs?” Kerry crossed his arms over his slightly pudgy stomach. His eyes looked watery and his voice wavered as he stared at the ruined car.

  “This technically isn't my job.” Addison looked over at David. “I kind of figured that if I backed up until the rear tires were touching the wall, we might be able to tilt the flatbed straight into the water and winch the cruiser up and out from there.”

  Addison pantomimed the gesture with his hands.

  “If that works, this will be the easiest seven grand we've ever made,” David replied. “If it doesn't work we're going to have to call someone to bring a crane.”

  “Or build a ramp of some kind.”

  “And do what?” David shook his head at Addison. “Push the damn thing out by hand?”

  “I was thinking more along the lines of winching it up and over, but whatever works for you.”

  “I bet you assholes think this is funny.” Kerry was still standing to the side of the fountain, glaring daggers at Addison and David. His round face was frozen in a scowl. David figured it would only be another six months or so before Kerry’s face was a permanent pudding of disappointment and nerd rage.

  “Kind of. Yeah.” Addison pulled a cigarette out of his ever-present pack and lit it. “The only Callahan County Sheriff's Deputy in the history of law enforcement to get his cruiser stuck in a fucking park fountain.”

  “Screw you. Both of you.” Kerry glowered at them. “My cruiser was stolen while I was enforcing the law.”

  “Your cruiser was stolen while you were chasing teenagers on skateboards in circles around town.” Addison blew a cloud of smoke into Kerry's face. “Now get in the fountain.”

  “What?” Kerry coughed and then stared at him as if he had sprouted a second head.

  “Get in the fountain. I need one person on either side of the car to finish guiding me back.” Addison pointed at the cruiser. “Its swimmy time, Kerry.”

  “Go to hell. I'm not getting in that water with him.” Kerry pointed at David. “He'll try to drown me!”

  “In two feet of water?”

  “Technically he'd only need six inches.”

  “In front of a crowd?”

  “He'd do it. We all know he's a murderer.”

  “Oh my God.” Trish passed all the items that David had handed to her over to Addison, tossing in her own phone and a tube of lip gloss. She kicked off her sandals and stepped over the retaining wall into the fountain. “Let's get on with this already.”

  David and Addison were both staring at her with looks of wonder. Kerry snorted, spun around on one heel and stormed off. He pushed his way past the crowd of onlookers and disappeared within seconds.
/>
  “Okay then,” Addison said after a moment. “Trish officially has bigger balls than Kerry.”

  “I'm pretty sure I can take David to the ground before he succeeds at drowning me.” Trish smiled and tried to lighten the mood.

  “Oh really?” David grinned at her and then made a move as if to lunge for her. Unfortunately for him, he slipped on the algae that had grown on the bottom of the fountain pool. He busted his ass, landing chest deep in water at Trish's feet.

  She grinned down at him. “See, I didn't even have to try.”

  David wrapped his arms around her legs. He yanked her down into his lap with a splash. Trish shrieked and tried to pull away from him only to wind up face first into the water.

  When she came up sputtering, her face was inches away from David's. He stared down at her with laughter gleaming in his intense green eyes. Water was dripping off of his eyelashes.

  Trish was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to find out what his lips tasted like. She leaned towards him and pressed her lips against his. It was so easy to lose herself in the pleasure of his kiss.

  Chapter 26

  “Addison could have mentioned your car caught fire when you wrecked it last night,” David said as he finished hooking the wrecker's winch to the undercarriage of Trish's ruined Honda.

  “It didn't.” Trish frowned at the visibly charred interior of her poor car. “If I had to guess, I'd say Curtis probably used his lighter on it once he realized there weren't any cabs in Possum Creek. It wasn't on fire when Addison and I left it here last night.”

  “You really think he lit it on fire after you left him here with it?” David pressed a button and the winch began slowly turning, pulling the car up onto the flatbed. He crossed his arms over the blue polo shirt he'd borrowed from Addison. The color didn't exactly suit him, but Trish still couldn't help being distracted by the intensity and his dark green eyes.

  “Could it have caught fire on its own?” She pursed her lips for a minute and then closed her eyes.

  David studied the car for a second and then shook his head no. “Not unless spontaneous combustion has become a Honda thing. The damage from the wreck is nowhere near the gas tank. Even if the gas tank had been damaged, it wouldn't have caused burns like this. Someone lit the seats on fire.”