Rye (Joyadan Mates Book 1)

by Sadie Carter

  “It’s a panic attack. Elika.” Rye. She would always know his voice. Cool hands enveloped hers. “Elika. Can you hear me, sweetheart?”

  She nodded, her breathing slowing as his calm voice flowed over her.

  “I’m going to pick you up, all right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good girl.” He lifted her, carried her across the room then sat with her in his lap. “I want you to count to ten with me. One, two, three…”

  The firmness in his voice didn’t allow for any arguments, even if she was in the mood to argue. Instead, she joined in, her voice breathy and thin. Gradually, as she concentrated on counting, her heartbeat slowed, and her breathing grew easier.

  “Can someone get us a glass of water, please?” Rye asked in that same steady voice. “And a cloth.”

  Were others here? That’s right. Darac and Willa were here. Zuma too. She hunched in on herself. How humiliating.

  “Hey, don’t do that. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”

  Didn't she? How about the fact that she had just had a panic attack in front of everyone? What must they think of her? Now they would know the truth. She wasn’t strong or brave. She was completely out of her depth.

  Drowning.

  “Here,” Willa said. Elika opened her eyes to find the other woman staring down at her in concern, a glass of water in her hand.

  “Thanks,” Rye told her, taking the glass of water.

  “Is there anything else I can do?” she asked, handing over a damp cloth.

  Rye placed the cool cloth over the back of her neck and held the glass up for her to take a sip. He was being so kind and gentle. She didn’t deserve it. She pulled back, away from him, despite every inch of her body screaming at her to lean against him.

  She pinched the top of her nose as a headache throbbed behind her temple. “I am so sorry. I apologize.”

  “Why are you apologizing?” Rye asked in a rough voice. “You had a panic attack.”

  “Is that what happened?” Willa asked. “Did something trigger it? Is there something wrong?”

  “She was held prisoner for twelve years. I think it’s pretty obvious what is wrong.”

  “Rye.” She placed her hand on his arm. He was so tense. Why was he upset with Willa?

  There was a low growl and Darac stepped forward, pulling Willa up against him. “Do not use that tone with my mate.”

  “It’s okay, big fella.” Willa patted his arm, much the way that she had just done with Rye, she realized. Had she been trying to soothe Rye as well?

  “Okay, I get that. I’ve always thought you were doing remarkably well for having been held prisoner by Husan for so long.” Willa crouched again. “I’m certain I wouldn’t be handling things half as well as you are.”

  It didn’t feel like she was holding things together. Not even close.

  Rye ran his hand up and down her back. His touch heated her body for a whole different reason. She should move away from his lap. She needed to make herself get up. Just a few more minutes. That’s all she needed.

  “I’m so sorry,” she repeated.

  “Stop saying that. You have nothing to apologize for. You’re entitled to have a few damn panic attacks.”

  “Not for that. Although I am embarrassed. I am sorry for what I said to the human females.”

  The three of them looked at her in confusion. “You don’t know? You looked so stern when you came in here,” she said to Darac.

  “I did?” Darac turned to Willa.

  She shrugged. “I guess you were looking a bit grumpy. It’s difficult to tell grumpy from happy with the big fella,” Willa said to Elika.

  Elika sighed. “I found it easy to read Husan’s moods, but I have discovered it is not so easy to understand others’ motivations or moods.”

  “I guess that’s understandable. There are probably a lot of things that are hard to adjust to.” Willa smiled at her kindly. “I know that Lucy found it very hard to trust after Rye rescued her. She’d trusted the wrong person and ended up in hell.”

  “I know how that feels. I trusted Husan. I thought he cared about me. I could not have been more wrong.”

  Willa reached out and took her hand, squeezing it. “There are good people out there. I know words don’t mean a lot, but you can trust us, Elika.”

  Elika nodded. She did trust them to some extent, but she wasn’t sure she could ever fully rely on someone else again. She glanced up at Rye, wondering what he thought of all of this. This was the second time she’d had a panic attack around him. Was he annoyed with her? Disgusted?

  His face gave away none of his feelings.

  Elika moved from his lap, disappointed that he didn’t try to stop her. She took a deep breath. Obviously, Darac hadn’t heard what she had said to the human females yet. Best that he hear it from her.

  “I need to apologize. I’ve done something terrible.”

  “I am certain it cannot be that bad,” Darac told her.

  “It is. I think I may have ruined your treaty with the humans.”

  Elika held her breath until her lungs burned and queasiness in her stomach forced her to release the air she was holding and take another breath in.

  “What do you mean you may have damaged the treaty?” Darac asked.

  “I know that Madison is the niece of a high councilor on Earth. One mention of any ill treatment could make her uncle rescind their treaty. She even threatened that they would ban any humans from interacting with Zerconians. I put that all in jeopardy. I know I should not have spoken to them that way, but I simply could not take them disparaging the very people who rescued them.”

  “Whoa.” Willa held up her hand. “Just what the hell did you say to the three blonde mice?”

  What?

  “Um.”

  “They were complaining about not having the facilities they are used to,” Rye answered. “They expected her to be at their beck and call, even as they insulted her behind her back. They were complaining how traumatized they were and Elika merely pointed out how easy they had it. How much worse it could have been.” His face darkened. “Elika has shown remarkable restraint. If they’d ordered me around like I was their servant, I’d have told them where to go ages ago.”

  “Me too,” Willa added. “I couldn’t handle being around them for longer than an hour before I wanted to strangle them. I honestly don’t know how you have managed to spend so much time with them.”

  Were they siding with her? Defending her? Her heart beat faster. This was something she had never expected.

  “I don’t know. I don’t think they’re that bad,” Zuma said with a grin.

  “That’s because you’re judging them with your little head, not your big one,” Willa retorted.

  He had two heads? Where was his other head? Somewhere under his clothing, obviously. That was very odd. She wondered if all humans had two heads.

  “I don’t know how you could even stand to touch them,” Rye said darkly. “They are selfish, rude, and completely ignorant.”

  Darac ran a hand over his face, looking tired. “I admit they are much more work than I had anticipated. But Madison is the niece of the high councilor to Earth. He asked us to rescue her as a favor. And they were kidnapped. We must keep them moderately happy.”

  “Even though they are making Elika miserable?” Rye asked.

  Darac turned to her. “They have upset you so much?”

  “No, no, they’re fine. You asked me to keep them company, and it’s the least I can do after all your people have done for me. I am just sorry I lost my temper.”

  “Not your fault,” Rye defended her. “Darac should never have asked you to babysit them. You’ve already done enough.”

  Darac nodded. “Rye is right. You risked your life to save those women. Perhaps you should tell me exactly what was said.”

  Elika nodded then recounted everything she could remember. As she spoke, Willa’s face darkened, and she frowned as Elika finished. “Those sill
y cows. No wonder you snapped at them. There’s not a brain cell between them.”

  “What if Madison says something to her uncle about what I said?”

  “Don’t worry about them. I had a word with them,” Rye told them. “They won’t say anything.”

  Willa grinned. “Nobody goes against Rye when he lays down the law.”

  “Not if they know what’s good for them,” Zuma added. “They’re probably crying their little eyes out. Perhaps I should go keep them company. I assure you I’m prepared to take one for the team.”

  “I’m sure you are.” Rye snorted.

  Zuma placed his hand on his chest. “I meant that I was willing to babysit. Nothing else.”

  Rye looked over at her. “I think Elika’s been through enough for now. I’m going to take her to her room.”

  Rye picked her up, not giving her a chance to protest further.

  “Elika?” Darac added. “Thank you for your offer of help, but you are already risking enough. You owe us nothing. You have a home on Zerconia for as long as you want or need it. I promise.”

  “I can walk,” Elika protested as Rye carried her through the corridor.

  “I know.” He didn’t question his need to hold her right now. Watching her suffer through another panic attack brought out his protective instincts, so letting her go right now wasn’t an option for him. “You need to rest. You’re exhausted.”

  “Is that your way of saying I look terrible?”

  “Yes,” he replied, inwardly cursing as she winced. “Not terrible. Just tired.”

  Lost and alone. He saw her loneliness now. What he had thought was arrogance was actually confusion. Elika didn’t know her place in this new world. She had no support network to help her navigate through, and she was too proud to ask for help.

  So he’d give her help, even when she didn’t think she needed it.

  He had promised himself he would stay away from her. That had lasted less than forty-eight hours. It seemed keeping his hands off her was an almost impossible task. At least while they were in such close quarters.

  That didn’t mean he had to go any further. She deserved gentleness, kindness, someone who would go slow with her. Not someone as hard and controlling as he was.

  He reached her door and waited for her to open it, before stepping inside. He sat on the bed, still holding her close.

  “Rye?” she asked.

  He grunted in reply.

  “Do you regret kissing me?” she asked. “Touching me? I understand if you do.”

  “You think I don’t want to touch you?”

  “Well, no, otherwise why are you avoiding me?” she asked with clear bewilderment.

  “Because I damn well want to touch you, so much I can’t sleep, I can barely think. I can’t get that memory of you soft and warm in my arms, my mouth against yours. My cock grows hard each time I think of you, let alone see or touch you. Wanting you is not the fucking problem.”

  He took her mouth with his. He reached down and cupped her breast, rubbing his thumb over the tight nub. His dick throbbed, the need to take her so great he had to stop touching her. Now. Before he did something he would regret.

  Rye placed her back on the bed. “I want you too fucking much. That’s the problem. But I’m not the right man for you.”

  She sat up. “And you get to decide that?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “I don’t think so.” She got up and scooted around him. “I am tired of other people deciding what is best for me!”

  “Tough.”

  “Tough? Tough!”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, tough.”

  “Urgh, you are so infuriating.”

  “So why don’t you yell at me?” he prodded her. Tension had coiled itself around her body. She was so on edge he worried she’d snap.

  “I am!”

  But it wasn’t enough.

  “You’re not going onto the Coizil’s ship. I forbid it.”

  Her eyes widened, and he nearly smiled. He’d hated the way she’d looked earlier, terrified that just because she’d snapped at those stupid women that her home was going to be taken away from her. He wanted her to know that she could lose her temper. That she could yell and scream and not be perfect.

  That she could rid herself of some of that tension eating her up and still be safe. Not fear retribution.

  “You do not get to dictate my life to me. I can make my own decisions. And if I want to make the colossal mistake of having intercourse with you then I will!”

  “Colossal mistake?” His eyes lit with a deep fire.

  Elika swallowed, suddenly wondering whether she had made a mistake.

  “It takes two to tango.”

  “What is tango?” she asked.

  “It’s a form of dance.”

  “I do not want to dance!” Why did he not understand her?

  “Good. Because neither do I.” He lifted her in the air. “My control only lasts so long. Put your legs around my hips.”

  She slid them around his wide hips. He was big. Not as big as Darac or any of the other Zerconians, but big enough to make her wonder about the mechanics of what they were about to do. Or what she thought they were about to do. Was he big all over?

  “You’re thinking too much.” He drew her lips to his, taking her mouth with his. As he slipped his tongue between her them

  , she moved her arms around his neck, holding on for dear life.

  His tongue slid against hers. There was no hesitation. He was as confident as he was in everything he did.

  “Damn, you taste like peaches and cream,” he muttered. “Makes me wonder if you taste that way all over.”

  He strode over to the bed, showing no hint that her weight bothered him. He laid her back on the bed and then sat next to her, facing her. His gaze was intent as he studied her. “I was trying to do the right thing by staying away from you.”

  Arrogant, bossy asshole.

  No way was she putting up with him deciding her life for her. If he didn’t want her, that was fine. She knew she was no catch. She was too skinny, her chin too pointed, and her nose too thin. She had so many issues. She had no family, no home. And she was a witch.

  But rejecting her for her own good was just patronizing.

  “Right thing for who? You don’t get to decide what’s right for me, Rye.”

  “I told you I was a bossy bastard.”

  “And I’m not the victim you seem to think I am.”

  His eyebrows rose in surprise. “I don’t think you’re a victim. You’re a survivor. You’re strong, and you’re tough.”

  “You really think so?” That meant more than he could possibly ever know.

  “Yes.”

  “I know what I want, Rye. I want you.”

  “I’m not turning you away. I may be a bastard at times, but you tell me no and I will respect that. I will try to be as gentle as I can, but I can’t change who I am. I like to be in control, Elika.”

  “Not asking you to change that. Just like I’m not changing who I am.”

  “This is just sex. You sure you can handle that?”

  “Of course. I am not looking for a mate. Just sex.”

  “Doesn’t mean I’m not a possessive bastard, though. So for as long as this is happening, you’ll only be in my bed, understand?”

  Like there was any chance she would be with anyone else. “As long as you promise the same.”

  He nodded. “Last thing. No pretending. I want the real you. Warts and all.”

  “I have no warts,” she told him. “But you have always seen the real me.”

  “Not all of you.” He glanced down at her clothed body. “How about you show me all of you.”

  Rye watched as Elika’s eyes widened. Her skin had a light glow that you didn’t really notice unless you were up close. Part of him still believed this was a bad idea, that she deserved more than him for her first time. He hadn’t wanted to take advantage of her when she was stil
l so vulnerable.

  He’d tried being a good guy. But he wasn’t a saint. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

  “You wish me to take my clothes off?”

  “Kind of hard for me to lick you all over with them on, sweetheart,” he told her. Taking pity on her, he stood and reached for the bottom of his shirt. “I’ll start.”

  Rye pulled his shirt off over his head. She stared at him, her face filled with admiration. “Ready for this?”

  He reached for the top of his pants.

  “Of course. I know what to expect.”

  Did she? He knew very little about her race; what sort of junk did men have where she came from?

  “And what do you expect?” he asked, just trying to be certain.

  Elika blushed. “Must we speak of it?”

  “Pretty soon you’re going to be doing more than speaking of it. You’re going to be touching, stroking, it is going to be deep inside you. What are you expecting?”

  “A penis,” she blurted out.

  “Just one, right?”

  Her eyes widened, and she sat up, her panic clear. “You have more than one?”

  “Nope. Just making certain you don’t expect me to have more than one. Some species do.”

  “Please, Rye. Can you stop talking and take your clothes off!”

  Rye pulled off his pants and boxers, releasing his dick. It stood at attention, ready and hard, as it always was in her presence. He took his cock in his hand, squeezing down it firmly.

  Elika licked her lips, her gaze riveted. “You’re huge.”

  “Not that big, sweetheart.” Although like any hot-blooded male, his ego inflated at her words. “Now it’s your turn. Strip.”

  Her heart racing so fast she almost wondered if she was on the verge of another panic attack, Elika grabbed the bottom of her top. With shaking hands, she slowly pulled it up and over her hair. Rye had seen her breasts before, there was no reason for her to be so nervous.

  So why were her hands so clammy?

  “Easy, sweetheart. Let’s do one step at a time.” He sat next to her, brushing her hands away from her pants. Pushing her gently onto her back, he laid on his side next to her. “Let me just savor this. Have I told you how much I love these breasts?”