Messalina: Devourer of Men

by Zetta Brown

  “Tell me, Trey, did you know he slept with Sarah when he returned from his trip to Dallas with me?”

  Slowly, he raises his eyes to look me in the face.

  “Yes. But, be fair. How was I to know about you?”

  “True.” I nod.

  “Fuck, I mean, Jared and Sarah are always breaking up and regrouping. They’ve done it twice since I started working for him—why not three?” He jiggles the ice in his glass. “But something about this last time told me it would be the last time.”

  “What was that?”

  “Jared made Sarah give back the keys to his house.” Trey finished his drink. “He left them on my desk and told me to keep them as a spare set.”

  I laugh and get up. Going through my purse, I pull out a set of keys and toss them to him.

  “That’s the same set, isn’t it?” I raise my eyebrow at him.

  He looks the keys over and then back at me. “Right down to the Broncos key chain.”

  “Well, there you go. A spare set for the next spare woman to come along.”

  “Cookie, you really do need to give yourself more credit. When Jared returned from Dallas, I could see a change in him—and you know he’s not the most demonstrative man with his feelings. Shit, he can teach Tom Cruise a thing or two about reticence, but . . .” He shakes his head. “It didn’t take a genius to see something happened to him, you know?

  “That day, I let myself in through the kitchen door, as usual. Sarah was standing there in an evening dress, looking a fright with her hair and make-up a mess and fixing a cup of coffee. I glared at her, she glared at me. ‘Going to work, I see,’ I said to her.”

  Despite my peevishness, I bite back a smile.

  “But, unlike Sarah, she said nothing and just left through the back way. I went upstairs and found Jared at work. I asked him about his trip and he looked up at me with this big— grin —on his face! I swear, Eva, I’d never seen the man grin before. Surely it didn’t come from fucking Sarah.” He looks at me. “And I was right.”

  I sit down and listen to Trey tell me how Jared revealed his idea to rejuvenate The Life of Lucrezia .

  “He was serious, Evadne, and the more he talked, the more his drive and enthusiasm came through. Then I met you,” he says and smiles. “And I knew he was on the right track.”

  I sit looking at Trey, not knowing what to think.

  “Evie, I can’t say sorry enough for not telling you what we were doing. Jared will have to speak for himself, but what I do know is that he didn’t want to lose you over this.”

  “Well, ain’t that a bitch? Costing him a small fortune, am I?”

  Trey sighs and finishes his drink. “Eva, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “What bothers you more: the fact that Jared’s been using you for his inspiration or that he’s sharing your image as art?”

  I mull it over. “Good question, Trey.” Now it’s my turn to finish my drink. “Our entire relationship has been based on lies. He slept with Sarah after seeing my card and before telling me it was ‘over’ between them. That’s some way to break up, if you ask me. Then Jared looked me straight in the eye and said he would never hurt or deceive me.”

  “But Evadne, can’t you see past that? You’ve inspired Jared to turn out some of his best work ever. And Sarah?” He snorts. “Sarah’s a waste of a heartbeat. Don’t throw Jared away over this.”

  “Is that what you think I’m doing? Throwing him away?”

  When Trey nods, I’m surprised.

  “Now, this is just my simple mind making an opinion, but Eva, if you decide to end it and sue him for damages, I’d say you were acting out on principle.” He puts his glass down on the table. “But if you end it with him because you’re still mad about the Sarah fling, well . . . that sounds more like pride to me.”

  I have a hard time keeping from staring at him agape.

  “Would you care to explain that? I mean, who’s screwing whom here? I don’t need his money. What if I don’t want my sex life open for the world to see?”

  Trey laughs. “This from the same woman who played ‘thumble fumble’ with strangers in a dark theater. A kind of exhibitionism that has done you well, I may add.”

  I turn my back on him and go out onto the balcony. It doesn’t take long for him to follow me. “Talley once told me that Jared expects honesty, but he’s lied to me, deceived me. Why should I forgive him?”

  Trey gives me a friendly kiss on the back of the shoulder. “Would it help you to know that he’s beating himself up over this?”

  “I thought you said he could speak for himself?”

  “I did . . . I just wanted you to hear it from someone who can actually see it.”

  * * * *

  Time heals all wounds. Time marches on.

  What a crock of shit. When you hurt, time stops. It actually goes backwards, over and over, until the time span covered becomes raw. I can’t help but relive the last year of my life over and over again, each time from a different angle, and every time through the eyes of a fool.

  In less than a month, news starts floating around the theatre scene that one of Denver’s leading ladies has reunited with “her” man.

  On the other hand, the talk on the LoL boards has been how things are aiming towards a big sexual showdown between Messalina and Detective Jack Dover. This is easy to understand, because the last issue of LoL is grittier than ever before.

  Messalina and her henchwomen, Sister Friction and Jane Bondage, have become a virtual triumvirate of hardcore sexual power. Lucrezia now sees how the once quaint idea of a bedroom-community bordello is serious business with lives at stake, especially when Sister Friction “accidentally” eliminates an investigative reporter under the apparent instructions of Messalina.

  Meanwhile, in the real world, I discover just how far-reaching the Denver theatre community is, Tony notwithstanding, and for the first time since my arrival at the college, I dread the theatre department’s annual showcase on campus where many local professionals participate and give workshops. Several of my students are involved and invite me to see them perform. But I’m running into people I’ve met through Tony.

  Despite my trying to avoid the theatre school or any other place where the actors and crew tend to hang out, I still see a few recognizable faces. Thankfully, the showcase only lasts two weeks and I’m on the verge of making it through this ordeal with no one grilling me about my association with Jared or Sarah.

  It has been a hectic day. The morning was lost to various meetings and I barely have time to pick up a burger from Wendy’s. Breakfast is a distant memory and I get a double cheeseburger before heading off to sit in the quad. It’s a sunny day, with only a slight, crisp nip in the wind coming from the north, but pleasant enough to sit outside in a light sweater. Setting my briefcase down, I pull my burger out of the bag and place it on my lap.

  “You’re Evadne Cavell, right?”

  Looking in the direction of the voice, I have to squint because of the sun. “Yes?”

  “I thought I recognized you. I’m Della Grey.”

  She says her name as if I’m supposed to know it. My lack of recognition doesn’t go down well, but the fact that I have to look up to her seems to fit with Della Grey’s opinion of herself.

  “Sarah Radcliff pointed you out to me at the Aurora Fox some time ago.”

  “Oh, I see.” I make an
ah-ha type movement with my head. So, I’ve been pointed at, have I? “You’re Sarah’s friend?”

  Della’s shape barely conceals the sun from my eyes, but I can still see the smirk on her pouty lips. Despite the chill in the air, Della wears a light dress that billows around her small, delicate body. I find it amazing how some people tend to make friends with people they resemble. Della and Sarah have the same build, but Della is dark while Sarah is fair.

  “Yes. I’m her best friend. And you’re Jared’s ex.” She takes pleasure saying that as her voice oozes with artificial sweetener.

  “Yes. Yes I am.” I grin happily. “I’m surprised you know about that.”

  “Oh, darling, everybody knows about that.” She gives a casual flip of her black hair.

  “Really? Slow news day in the theatre world?”

  The ice from Della’s gaze bounces off my sweater. I cross my legs, feigning interest in our conversation. “And how is good ol’ Sarah these days?”

  “She’s doing very well, Evadne. Since she and Jared got back together things have just been perfect.” She purrs. “Mmm-hmm, she’s on a great assignment through her new agent, and pretty soon,” she says, twisting a raven curl around a slender finger tipped with frosty pink polish, “you and everyone else will see a lot more of her.”

  “Goody.”

  She frowns but it’s quickly replaced when her lips curl in a devilish smile.

  “All things considered, with the history she and Jared share, I expect wedding bells before too long. You know how it is when people who’ve been apart realize what a mistake they’ve made and then get back together.” This time she doesn’t try to hide her contempt when she looks at me. “They tend not to make the same mistake twice.”

  “Oh, honey.” I laugh. “If I made mistakes, I’d agree with you.”

  Her eyebrows shoot up, surprised by my reaction. I lift my cooling hamburger and take a bite.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb your lunch.”

  “Yeah, well, life’s full of little inconveniences.”

  “A big girl like you needs to keep up her strength.” She turns and goes back in the direction of the rock from whence she came.

  Despite my wanting to ignore her childish jab about my size, the hunger for my now-cold hamburger fades.

  * * * *

  After Trey’s initial visit the day after Jared and I broke up, Trey and I still manage to have lunch together every Wednesday. Not because I’m interested in hearing about Jared, though. I would be happy not to discuss him at all if it weren’t for the fact that Trey and I share other friends by way of Tony and Talley. It’s purely a means to keep up with the gossip.

  “Cookie, you should’ve heard it,” he says as he scoops into his strawberry shortcake. “That Talley can burn up a phone line. No need to pick up the extension to eavesdrop with her booming voice.” He glances at me before taking a bite. “They were talking about you.”

  “Why?” I frown.

  “She called to ask Jared, and I quote, ‘What kind of 24-karat jackass do you think you are, Jared Alistair Delaney?’”

  I shake my head in disbelief.

  “It’s true. And guess what he did.”

  “What?”

  “He hung up on her.”

  “No . . . way.”

  “Yes way. I couldn’t believe it myself. You do not hang up on Talley Monroe. Not ten minutes later, the doorbell rang and I tell you, I was afraid to open it and see her all the way from Texas ready to draw blood. But it was the delivery guy.”

  “Lucky.”

  “Right.” He takes another bite of his dessert. “What about you? I won’t hold it against you that, thanks to you ,” he says, pointing his spoon at me, “Sarah’s in my field of vision again.”

  My stomach clenches and I try to sound casual. “Does she stay over a lot?”

  “Not at all. Nor does he stay with her. It’s just that she’s always around .” He shivers as if he’s covered with ants, “Hovering like a gargoyle waiting for the next big rain so she can piss it on you from above.”

  I laugh. “Is it really true about the commercial?”

  He rolls his eyes dramatically. “Jesus God, it’s true. I’m glad I’m not a woman.”

  Trey confirmed to me earlier that Della’s eluding to Sarah’s good fortune was true and soon Sarah Radcliff will star in a national tampon campaign. I nearly lost my appetite. Nearly.

  “Then again,” Trey continues, “the thought of using her mug to plug my bleeding twat—if I had one—appeals to my vengeful nature.”

  I nearly do a spit-take as I laugh with a full mouth of ice cream and get a brain freeze.

  “Well,” I finally say, “I’m glad with my rags.” And I toast him with a scoop of hot fudge sundae. This gets us laughing so hard I develop a cramp in my side and when I tell him, it just makes us laugh harder. Finally we both recover.

  “How’s work going?”

  “Everyone’s still in knots.” I put down my spoon. “But it’s been quiet. The case seems to have stalled over the last few months. I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse.”

  “And what about your student?”

  “If you mean Neil Hollister, he’s still around.”

  “Is he a blessing or a curse?”

  “Let’s just say he’s my gargoyle. Whether he’ll rain blessings or shit from above remains to be seen.”

  “I tell you, Cookie. That little boy made Jared awfully nervous.”

  “Why? As you say, he’s a boy. Jared’s a man. No contest.”

  I decide to keep to myself how that last week I went to the matinee at The DeLuxe Theater and saw Neil Hollister come in as I waited in the upstairs lobby. It was the first time since getting involved with Jared that I’d set foot in the place and I actually wanted to see the movie. I ducked out before Neil saw me, went straight home, and joined a DVD club.

  Trey shakes his head. “Well from what I’ve heard, Jared doesn’t trust him. Just you be careful.”

  Chapter eighteen

  “Messalina”

  It’s here.

  Two months since my split from Jared, and almost one year to the day since we met, the issue everyone’s been waiting for—the one causing so much speculation that LoL chatrooms, blogs, and bulletin boards are multiplying daily—has arrived. People are already calling it “The Sex Issue.”

  Why all the suspense? Because in The Life of Lucrezia issue #17 the wait is over. Messalina and Jack Dover are to consummate their lust for each other.

  I open my mailbox and see the familiar magazine in the brown wrapper protected by a plastic sleeve, even though I had let my subscription run out.

  They are sent.

  And it’s not like I can simply toss it aside and pretend it doesn’t exist. That would be like I stopped using my left arm because I was mad at it. No, The Life of Lucrezia is a part of me, like it or not. Taking it with the rest of my mail, I head back to the elevators.

  I must look ill, because I hear Hank the security guard ask, “Are you OK, Little Eva?”

  “I’m fine.” I smile. “Guess I’m just thinking too hard.”

  We laugh and one of the elevators opens. I step inside and punch the button. On my slow assent, I think about whom else I know that will get this issue and know its significance?

>   Ana, Tony, Talley. Obviously.

  Dad. But he doesn’t know it’s me. Does he? After that blowout over Sunday dinner about Jared simply buying the book, I suspect Dad’s been paying more attention to it.

  “Shit.”

  The twins! Oh, hell! I can only hope they haven’t read or even touched this magazine since Jared and I busted them at the bookstore. We never spoke of it, but they are kids and if they want something, they’ll find a way. On the bright side, they won’t know it’s me.

  Neil. He suspects something, I know it, and this issue could be the one that confirms everything.

  “Fuck.”

  Sarah? I don’t doubt she’d pass up an opportunity to see me humiliated.

  “Bitch!”

  The elevator doors open just as I say the word and all its venom gets directed at my neighbor, little old Mrs. Parkhurst. Her green eyes, magnified by coke-bottle specs, get even bigger with surprise.

  “Oh! Mrs. Parkhurst, I am so sorry. I was thinking of someone else.” I help the old woman into the elevator.

  “Well,” she says, “I hope she’s housebroken.”

  I smile. “Frankly, ma’am, I doubt it.”

  Indicating the ground floor with my finger, she nods. I press the button and rush down the hall. I need to read this thing quick and figure out how much damage control it’ll require. Once inside, I go to my chair in the den and make myself comfortable, because I know I’m in for a shock. I fluff the cushions, put my feet up, and place one chenille throw about my shoulders and the other over my legs. Tossing the other mail aside, I tear open the plastic and slowly rip the brown paper sleeve. The first thing I notice is how this issue’s cover is totally different from its colorful, sexually teasing predecessors.

  Usually, The Life of Lucrezia comes in a plastic wrapper with a belly band to shield any overly-provocative images. This time, with the exception of the upper left-hand corner stating the issue number and cover price, the cover is totally black with only a white, gothic “M” in the center.