by M. T. Ossler
I can see he has more to say, so I wait quietly for him to continue. In the meantime, I rub my thumb over his knuckles to reassure him that I’m here.
“We need to get going... Um, can I hold your hand while you drive, and I talk?” he asks in a soft voice, squeezing my hand. He’s right, we need to get to his appointment. If this is how he wants to talk, then I’ll give it to him.
“Sure,” I say and turn back to the road, looking around before merging back into the traffic. He takes a few deep breaths.
“I got upset thinking about Uncle Dominic, Bella’s dad. You see, he and Aunt Amelia, Bells’ mom, were close to me, closer than I was with my own parents. My parents never excepted me being gay, they hated me and tried to fix the sickness in my head.
“Uncle Dom and Aunt Amelia didn’t care that I was gay, and loved me anyway from the first time Bells brought me home. Val, Rom, and Bash, her brothers, even Lorenzo took me in as one of their own. They all became my family. Uncle Dom did so much for me, school, my apartment, protection, and had a lawyer release my trust fund. He and the guys taught me how to fight, so I could release my anger, protect myself from bullies and become a Capo in the organization one day. But most of all they taught me...” he starts crying, weeping.
“They taught me to love myself, inside and out. That there is nothing wrong with me.” He sniffles, and I can feel his body trembling. I squeeze his hand and rub his knuckles with my thumb. He knows I’m with him and in some weird way, I’m giving him some strength to continue.
“Bella and Gigi didn’t just lose their parents, I did too. I lost the only mother and father that truly loved me and accepted me for the real me.
“Being in that basement for all those months, in the home they were murdered in and having to see their murderer... having to hear that bastard gloat about what he did to them and Bells, especially Bells...” he says and stops, bawling. I want to pull over again and hold him, but I can’t. I’m just turning into the hospital and need to find a parking spot, fast.
He releases my hand, turns towards me, wraps his arms around mine, and buries his face behind my shoulder.
I don’t know what the right thing to do or say is at this moment, so I can help him through this. So, I place a kiss on his head and say, “I’m sorry, Ces.” I find a spot, park my car, and wrap my free arm around him, holding him in my tight embrace.
The car is silent for a while as we sit here. I randomly place kisses on the top of his head. After a few minutes, he releases my arm, I wrap it around his waist, drawing him closer to me. He’s calming down and relaxing against my side.
“Ry, I know we don’t know each other that well, and I have no right to ask you for anything. Especially, after the way you’ve been taking care of me, but I have to. It’s not just for me, it’s for my girls too. Please, please help Beast destroy that monster. Tear him up for all the pain and heartbreak he caused us.
“They were all Jules and I had left in this world, and now they’re gone.
“Poor Gigi is just a baby and needed them more than all of us.
“Beast is your brother, he’s your family and probably won’t ask for help, so I am. Please, Ry, please help end this.” This guy has definitely gotten under my skin and crawled his way right to my dark heart. I can’t deny him, nor do I want to.
“Nothin’ would make me happier than to destroy that bastard for what he has done to you and the girls. Babe, you have my word, I will help Beast,” I whisper into the car. Ces’ head pops up with a huge smile on his face, he kisses the side of my mouth and takes my hand in his. He moved so fast I didn’t even see the kiss coming, and then the second his lips are gone from me... I miss them on me.
“Thank you,” he whispers and kisses the back of my hand.
He opens the car door and waits for me to run around with his crutches. I hurry up and grab his crutches to help him.
Him being this close to me, regardless of his emotional state, he has my heart racing in my chest and my dick hard as steel. Well, it’s been hard ever since I saw him naked in the bathroom. When he covered his hard cock with his hand, I was jealous of his hand. My mouth salivated for a taste when I was getting him dressed. I quickly pulled his pants up before I did something stupid and scared him away.
Fuck, he has stolen my heart, and I’ve known it since the day I met him. All I think about is him. I couldn’t even get hard last weekend when I was away. Unless I thought about him, that is. I didn’t even get laid. No one did it for me, not even getting a blow job worked.
I had this little blond-haired blue-eyed cutie, sucking me like a porn star pro. It felt good, really good when he took me to the hilt and sucked on my balls. But I couldn’t stay hard for long. Ces’ face would pop into my head and I felt... cheap and dirty. I felt like I was cheating and couldn’t go through with it.
Nothin’ like that had ever happened to me before. I ended up staying on the beach taking in the salt water air the rest of the weekend and thinking. Thinking about this sweet little blue-eyed cutie next to me.
I couldn’t wait to see his smiling face Monday morning, which never happened. My guy had been so down, and apparently, me leaving him didn’t help his mood. He’s gone through so much more than any of us could fathom, and he’s survived. He’s stronger than he gives himself credit for. I think he just needs time to wrap his head around what he went through. Time to recharge and rest his body and mind. Once he works through everything he will be better than ever.
From what I have gathered from Jules, she’s never seen him so sad and broken. We can’t hold it against him, though. He’s endured months of torture and the loss of his family. Seeing his smile earlier, I know he’ll be fine.
We make our way to the doctor’s office and have his cast removed. They do a couple of x-rays to check out his ribs. He gets the all clear on them and the doctor gives him exercises to do to start building up his muscles in his leg again. She contacted a therapist to come to the Clubhouse once a week to work with him. Ces is extremely happy to have that thing off, his smile hasn’t left his beautiful face.
I help him to the car and take him to lunch before heading back to the Clubhouse.
We hit my favorite diner for fried chicken. Talking and laughing for a couple of hours before heading back.
It’s easy to talk to him and not worry about what I say. The same goes for him. Pleasure fills me in ways it never has before sharing this time with him.
So, we spend the next few weeks together doing things separately and in the group. Getting closer to my brothers, Ace, Beast, Blaze, Dusty, and the girls have been enlightening. I fit in and have become part of their little gang. They all know about Ces’ sexual preference and accept him, which makes me happy. And hopeful that one day they will all except me too.
Ces comes to my shop with me a couple times a week. I work out with him every day to strengthen his leg and body. His depression is getting better with each passing day.
Ace informed me this afternoon to be in the bar this evening with them. Bella’s brothers will be here at some point. He warned me not to say anything to Ces, cause Beast wants this to be a surprise for Bella. So, I didn’t, and believe me I wanted to. I don’t like to keep secrets from him.
Holy fuck is it a surprise for her. She freaked out and passed out in Beast’s arms. Ces told me what Antonio did to her. I don’t know much about raped victims, but I would say the way she reacted was inevitable.
My brother should have never blind sighted his woman by not telling her they were coming. She needed time to process the situation in her head. Instead of her body going into fight mode to protect herself.
Beast asks Ces and Jules to take Gigi to his room for the night. I say goodnight to him at his door and head to my room alone.
Most nights, we sleep in the same bed together unless I’m working late or away on a run. We haven’t fucked, only sweet innocent kisses here and there in private. I never let it go too far. Never anything outside his room or mine. Our
touches and kisses are just for us in our private sanctuary.
Ces and I have become very close, and I want to go farther with him, but I have this need to take things slow for him. I never wanted to fuck a person as bad as I want him. It’s a first for me. Well, to be honest, I’ve had a lot of firsts with Ces, and I’m looking forward to more.
Being near him around my brothers made me nervous in the beginning, not anymore. They all have been cool with my new behavior. Gator and I have talked about things, and he’s constantly telling me to relax and go with the flow. So, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.
Things feel right with Ces and everyone. We formed a little family inside our big family.
Bella’s brothers are fun guys and easy to get along with too. It’s a shame that once Antonio is taken care of they will be leaving us. I think they would fit in around here perfectly.
Maybe we can talk them into trading in their Italian suits and Italian leather shoes for a leather kutte, jeans, and boots. I know Ces and the girls would love that.
Chapter 5
Cesare
Life has been good for me lately. I don’t feel as depressed as I was when I first arrived here. Having my girls, Ry, and my brothers around sure does help. It gets easier with each passing day dealing with the loss too. Talking helps, and Ry lets me run my mouth a lot. I enjoy going to his shop with him a couple of times a week. We work on the motorcycles together in a peaceful harmony. I talk his ear off most the time, and we laugh throughout the day. Sometimes, we stay late after the guys leave, and I help him with his books and ordering. We go to the gym in the Clubhouse every day to do my leg exercises to strengthen my muscles. He incorporated a new routine for me to build my body muscle back up after losing a lot of my body mass through the months. It’s been great.
We sleep in the same bed at least four times a week. I get sweet, innocent kisses and touches in the privacy of our rooms. Around the Clubhouse, he stays close to me, and once in a blue moon we steal touches with our hands. I know he’s being cautious around his brothers, and I get it. When we hang out at Bella’s apartment, it’s not so bad cause we don’t have to be so censored around them. Sometimes, he even grabs for my hand. I love the smiles he gives me when he thinks no one can see but me. I’m sure by now, they can all tell Ry is gay too, and into me. They don’t care, they love us all the same.
The day after the guys arrived, we found out Bella is pregnant with twins and not doing so well. The pregnancy is taking a toll on her tiny body. Beast is right there with her doing all he can to make it better. Pregnancy suits my lovey, Bella well, and her man is taking excellent care of her. She’s had her ups and downs, but Beast handles it all with finesse, for her. She’s so happy these days, our family is all together and growing.
Sometimes, I get the feeling that Jules is pregnant just like Bella and hasn’t announced it yet. She hasn’t acted the same as Bella, but that could be because Bells is having twins. If Jules is pregnant like I suspect, her pregnancy is going somewhat better. I’ll find out what’s up with her soon.
Ever since Ace and I had that talk a couple of weeks ago, things have been good with us. He has a jealous streak a mile long when it comes to Jules. She is my sister, nothing more, I love her and am elated she found love. Any fool can see how content he makes her. Even Rom and his jealousy over Jules has gotten out of hand. After Ace and Rom’s little squabble in the bar the other night, things have been better all the way around. Jules and Ace have been inseparable lately. It’s kinda unnerving.
Life is getting better for me. I even stopped cutting myself to feel. I still have my moments, but Ry is right there with me. If I need to punch something, I punch him or the bag. The guys and I have had a few rounds in the ring too. It helps tremendously to get the anger and hurt out. God, it’s great to have my brothers back.
Tonight, though, I’m hoping to have another first with Ry. Tomorrow, we leave for the weekend to stay at Maddox’s Club, the Prez of the Dragons Daytona chapter, for a bike fest thing that’s being held out there. I’m praying Ry asked Maddox to give us the same room to share while we’re there. I have a feeling, once I get a taste of Ry, I’ll be wanting more and more. I joke with my loveys that they both fuck their men like rabbits, and I want to be the same way. I want to share the same sparkling connection with him that they share with their men.
I know what I’m feeling for Ry is love, I’m in love with him. I want us to be together, intimately. I want to experience that with only him. I know he feels the same way. I felt him in my soul when our eyes made contact that day I arrived, and it’s been indescribable. It’s something I haven’t had much of in my life.
Acceptance by the people you love is the best thing in the world, especially to a gay man.
You see, my parents hated me and never accepted me the way I am. Jules, Bella, and their families were the first ones to ever make me feel loved and wanted. No judgment, just love, and acceptance. Uncle Dominic, Val, Lorenzo, Rom, and Bash never treated me like anything other than a man. They taught me how to protect myself from the world. I can fight, shoot a gun, wield a knife with the best of them because my family wanted me to be able to protect myself physically. They are not my blood family, but they are the only family that ever accepted and loved all of me. The only thing they couldn’t teach me was how to protect my heart from all the hate in the world. Aunt Amelia, Jules, and Bells always tried, I just feel too much. I can’t seal my heart away like they did for so many years. I wish I could have because if this goes bad with Ry, it just might destroy me.
Being with Ry these last couple months has been a dream come true for me. My very own fairytale. From the first day, I knew he was special. It hasn’t been easy for me, but he protects me and makes it all better at the end of the day.
Beast also protects me, at first, I thought he did it for Bella, well he kinda does, but it’s just his nature. He’s a great guy, easy on the eyes too, and my lovey is lucky to have him back in her life. They have a beautiful life together, and it will only get better from here on out.
Ace, on the other hand, has my back only for Jules. His jealousy and possessiveness is going to get the best of him one day. I don’t give him shit for it anymore, though. He’s proven himself worthy of her, and I can see how much he loves her. She too is very lucky.
I believe what Ry and I share is what they both have. I know he has reservations about our ages, and I get that. But age is just a number, it shouldn’t matter, gay or straight, male or female. It’s what’s in your heart that counts.
The guys here at the Club don’t seem to care if he doesn’t fuck around with the girls, so that is at least a good thing. They also haven’t messed with me, much. Well, a few times, but Beast and Ry stopped them. They do tease me about how I taught my loveys how to perform a blow job. I get a lot of props for those lessons from their men. Bella’s brothers, on the other hand, don’t like to hear about any of it, I can’t blame them. It’s funny to joke with them about it, though.
My loveys told me how much those lessons paid off for them. They both had some variations to make but worked them out. Apparently, their men are pierced. I wonder if Ry is pierced. I haven’t seen his dick, and I really want to try my skills on him, piercing or not. I’ve never given a guy a blow job, and I really want to taste Ry tonight.
We’re in Ry’s room, in his bed, going at it like teenagers. Hands and lips all over one another’s bodies.
He removed his kutte before getting into bed. We still have our shirt and pajama pants on, and I wish we didn’t. I want to be skin to skin, hot flesh to hot flesh with him. I can’t seem to be close enough to him. I desire to be one with him. He is the only man I’ve ever craved. Being in his arms gives me strength. The strength I’ve never felt before, even with my loveys. He supports who I am with no shame or fear of the consequences.
“Ry, I want you to fuck me. No more waiting,” I blurt out. We have never been this hot and heavy. I want more of him. I want him inside me.
I want the pleasure cording through my veins.
He’s in the middle of kissing my neck, suckling my flesh, nibbling his way to my collarbone. He stops at my words and looks into my eyes.
“Please, Ry, just be gentle with me,” I whisper, begging him. Even though I’m nervous because I’ve never done anything this physical with a guy before, I’m still comfortable. His touch is soothing me, and I’m horny as fuck for him. My cock is rock hard against his thigh.
“Babe, how many men have you fucked?” he coaxes, and I have to turn away from him. I can’t go far, though, cause he has me pinned under his handsome, hard body. I’m afraid to answer his question, fearing he won’t like the answer and leave me hanging. He’s got me so horny just from his kisses, I’m ready to cum in my pants. All I need is one touch or him inside me, and I’ll be done. I’ve never desired a guy in this way or wanted this type of bodily connection.
“Cesare, answer me now, babe! It won’t change my feelings for you. I promise, I just need to know how to take care of you. Were they all too rough with you?” I turn back to look at him with my eyes closed. He takes my face in his warm, big, rough, calloused hands. His thumb glides across my bottom lip.
He thinks I’ve whored myself around and been fucked by men that aren’t gentle and caring. He doesn’t like the thought of me being with other men. That’s definitely not the case here. Either way, he ain’t gonna like the answer, I’ll tell you that much.
“Open those gorgeous blues for me, baby,” he cajoles. I slowly open my eyes and look into his. Piercing greens stare back at me intensely, studying me, as he sees straight into my soul. I’m mesmerized by him in every way possible. His words, his touch, his eyes have me weak at the knees. I’ve waited so long for the right man that makes me feel... loved and wanted.
