Talk a Good Game

by Angie Daniels

  I moved into the flow of traffic again. To this day I still blamed myself for his death which was crazy since I wasn’t the one who shot the bullet, yet I spent years wishing I had a gun so I could have shot him myself.

  “Dad yells all the time and blames me for stuff I didn’t even do!”

  Nodding, I muttered, “Yeah, that’s what dad’s do.” That’s why it’s a mother’s job to protect her children. Only mine had been weak. For years, I had wished my mother had been strong enough to protect us. I guess that’s hard to do when you’re being beaten as well.

  27

  NYREE

  “Let me get an amen!”

  “AMEN!”

  I shouted along with the rest of the congregation then glanced over to my right as Jeremy squeezed my hand. We were attending my family church and every time we sat on the same pew with my parents, I had this warm feeling inside. I was a firm believer that a family that prays together, stays together.

  I crossed my legs and sat there smiling as I listened to the minister talk about faith and believing. That was me on so many levels. I truly believed the Lord had put this together and spirituality was important for any relationship to succeed.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked with that goofy grin of his. Service was over and we were going out to lunch.

  “I’m feeling good,” I said and was swinging my arms then we started skipping, like kids, all the way to his Tahoe.

  Laughing, I waited for him to open the door then I leaned in and kissed him. The way his eyes lit up was something else. I loved making him happy. And it didn’t take much. A few hugs, kisses, and words of affirmation—his primary love language.

  Jeremy climbed in, put the key in the ignition but before he pulled off he turned and looked at me.

  “Angel…, I love you with my every breath. You just don’t know how many times I prayed for a woman to fellowship with me, and make God the foundation of our relationship.”

  I stared in his eyes. I was bubbling with so much joy I felt tears burning the corners of my eyes. “That’s exactly how I feel. I knew something was missing from my past relationships, but I never knew what those qualities were until I met you.” Overwhelmed by emotion, I paused long enough to push back tears. “Now that I know, I will never accept anything less.”

  Jeremy nodded, and looked pleased by my answer. “You don’t have to because you now have me.”

  After lunch at Denny’s we went back to his place and kicked off our shoes at the door.

  “What do you wanna do for the rest of the afternoon?” he asked.

  I flopped down on the sofa and rubbed my stomach. “Right now, I think I’m gonna take a nap,” I laughed.

  He sat beside me and wrapped his arms around my middle. “Poor baby. Why don’t you go on up and get comfortable?”

  Jeremy didn’t have to tell me twice. I went up to the room and clicked on the television then laid across the bed. Jeremy cleaned up the breakfast dishes, and came up just as I was dozing off.

  “Hey Angel, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go run off some of this food while you’re relaxing.”

  I yawned. “Run? How can you run with all that food on your stomach?”

  “That’s why I’m running. I never lie down after eating all those carbs.”

  “Now you’re making me feel guilty,” I said around another yawn.

  Leaning forward, Jeremy kissed my lips. “Nah, you look good just the way you are.”

  I watched as he changed into a pair of shorts, t-shirt, and running shoes. All that soft smooth skin. Jeremy told me he shaved because he hated to sweat, but damn. I didn’t know too many men who shaved not only their pubic but also the hair from their armpits.

  “I’ll be right back,” he said then leaned over the bed and kissed me.

  I laid there for a while dozing and watching Everybody Hates Chris when I heard something vibrating. I sat up on the bed and slid over to the edge and looked down. Jeremy had left his pants on the floor near his dresser. I reached inside his pocket and looked down at the screen.

  Alexis Samuels.

  My eyes were nearly popped out of my head.

  Alexis Samuels? Who the hell was that?

  I sat there staring at his phone trying to talk myself out of doing what I was about to do, but oh well. Sue me. I typed in the passcode I had seen him use to unlock his screen, and on the first try, it unlocked.

  My hand was shaking as I took a seat on the end of the bed and scrolled through his phone history. Alexis Samuels had left a voice message. Lord knows I shouldn’t, but I did. I listened to it.

  “This is the last time I’m calling your sorry ass. Send me my damn child support or I’m calling my lawyer.”

  What the fuck? I sat there dumbfounded and clearly confused. His ex-wife’s name was Delaney. Not Alexis. My mind started working overtime, and no matter how I tried to spin it, I still came up with the same conclusion.

  Jeremy had another child by a woman named Alexis.

  I was so angry I scrolled through his text messages and started reading them. There were several with his children in Chicago and I saw one Jeremy had sent to his sister telling her how much he loved me and my heart flipped. But then I saw a series of text messages that made me gasp.

  J: Tracy I need my ring back.

  T: I’ll be in town next week.

  J: Call me and I’ll meet you at our spot.

  I gazed down at the date of the text messages. It was less than a month ago. Around the same time he had proposed.

  By the time Jeremy had returned from jogging, I was packing my stuff.

  “I had a good run.” Jeremy stopped when he saw my duffel bag. “Where you going?”

  “Home. You are a damn liar!” I hissed as I tossed my things inside.

  He grabbed my arm, and swung me around. “What? What are you talking about?” He took on a serious tone.

  I snatched my arm away then reached over and grabbed his phone and handed it to him. “Alexis called.” The horror on his face was all the answer I needed. I shook my head in disgust then reached for my bag and pushed past him.

  “Angel, let me explain.”

  I glared at him through narrowed eyes. “Explain what? Another ‘adopted’ daughter!” I yelled. “Oh and by the way, who the fuck is Tracy, and is this her recycled engagement ring?” I held up my hand. While he played dumb, I slipped off the ring and tossed it onto the bed. I was so tired of this mess. I swung the bag onto my shoulder and kept on walking until I was out the house and heading toward my Lexus. I should have known things were too good to be true.

  “Nyree, wait. Can you please give me a chance to explain?”

  I shook my head. “No dammit! Not now. I just need to go home and just clear my head.”

  Jeremy hesitated then finally nodded his head and got the fuck out of my way. I finished loading my car and wasted no time driving off.

  I was barely down the road before I called Janelle.

  “What’s up girl?” she sounded too damned giddy.

  “You will not believe what just happened?” I was too stunned to know what to feel.

  “What?” Of course she was all ears.

  “That bastard has another child!” I said bluntly.

  “What?” Janelle sputtered and then started laughing. Sometimes I hated her ass. “Hell nah! He’s got more kids. What’s this make it, five?”

  I sighed as I turned the corner. “Yeah.”

  “Damn girl! So how did you find out?”

  I told her about finding his cellphone.

  “Hell nah! That mothafucka is fertile! You better start using protection before your ass ends up pregnant.”

  I know this sounded crazy but I felt this tingling at my stomach at the thought of carrying Jeremy’s baby. I didn’t want to lose my fiancé. I had hoped he would be the father of my children. Now I just didn’t know anymore.

  “That’s not all,” I began and paused for dramatic effect because I knew Janelle was going t
o have a field day with this one.

  “What?”

  “Jeremy was engaged with someone else. He…” Goodness this was painful. “He gave me the same ring he gave that chick!”

  “What the fuck?” Janelle howled then was laughing so hard I had to drag the phone away from my ear. “How the hell you find that shit out?”

  “I don’t know for sure. I saw some text messages so I just assumed the rest.”

  “What did he think you were, stuck on stupid? Niggas ain’t shit!” she snorted. “Hey, meet me at the mall. We can talk there.”

  “Okay.” I hung up and hopped on Interstate 70 for three exits then pulled into the Columbia Mall parking lot. We always parked near JCPenney’s.

  There was no missing the red BMW as it pulled into the lot or Janelle as she climbed out. I came around my car as she wiggled her hips in my direction in black leggings and a blouse that was so tight her titties looked ready to pop out. “What are you buying today?”

  “My stepson needs some new clothes.” She rolled her eyes but she wasn’t fooling me.

  I couldn’t resist a grin. “He’s starting to wear on you, huh?”

  She shrugged and then smoothly changed the subject. “You okay?”

  I kept walking toward the door, glancing around to see if anyone noticed how miserable I was. “I don’t know how I feel.”

  “What did Jeremy have to say when you confronted him?”

  “I didn’t give him a chance to say anything. I just left and told him I needed some space.”

  “Space is probably a good thing.” Janelle reached for the door and searched my face. The last thing I wanted was pity.” Damn girl, five step-kids?”

  “Don’t remind me,” I mumbled under my breath as I walked into the department store. Five definitely sounded like a lot, and maybe that was because I didn’t have any. When Jeremy told me he had a big family, I had no idea he was talking about his own.

  I followed Janelle over to the boy’s department.

  “You know his size?”

  Her brow rose. “I know everything.”

  It was strange watching her shop for someone other than herself. “How are you and Kaleb doing?” I’d rather talk about anything other than me.

  “Apparently better than you and Jeremy,” she said with a wink and without the sarcasm. “And that ain’t saying much.” She moved over to the next rack. “Look over there for a pair of Levi’s in size twenty-eight.”

  “Goodness, that kid’s big!”

  “And tall too.” She smirked and I saw something in her eyes she would deny. Janelle was starting to get attached.

  “Listen boo, it’s gonna all work out. Anybody can see that Jeremy makes you happy.”

  My mouth dropped. Who was this person and where the hell was Janelle? “I am happy or at least I was until… today.” A sob caught in my throat and Janelle swiveled over to where I was standing and rubbed my back gently as she said, “It’s gonna be okay.”

  I nodded and tried to pull myself together. “I know. I just can’t understand why he lied?” Suddenly right there in the store I was crying real tears. Janelle pulled me into her arms and held me close.

  “Shhh! Before they call security,” she whispered.

  “I can’t believe this is happening to me!”

  “Girl, when are you going to realize all men are alike? They don’t know any better. That’s why they need good women to whip their asses in shape.” She was stroking my hair trying to make me feel better. “Maybe he was tryna impress you.”

  “Yeah… maybe.” I wiped my eyes and pulled away from her embrace. “I’m okay. I just need some time to think.” I was certain all I needed was just a little time to sort out my feeling.

  Janelle took my hands and looked me dead in the eyes. I’d never seen her look that serious before as she said, “Listen, girl. I’ll never tell you to leave your man, trust me, if I wasn’t in love, I would have left Kaleb’s psycho-ass a long time ago. But if you decide to stay then think about what’s gonna make you happy.” She paused and struck a dramatic pose. “For me it’s all about the money.”

  Now that’s the Janelle I know.

  * * *

  I was sleeping when I heard the doorbell. I thought I was dreaming so I ignored it. But then I heard knocking and my cellphone was ringing. I rolled over and reached for my phone and looked at the clock. It was three in the morning. I tried to remain calm.

  “Hello?”

  “Angel?”

  I blew out a breath. “What Jeremy?”

  “Open the door before the neighbors call the police.”

  Goodness, the liar was at my door. I ended the call and slipped into my house slippers. I grabbed a few breath mints from the glass dish I kept on the end of my dresser and popped one in my mouth as I went downstairs. I swung the door open and glared at him. Anyone driving down the street would have seen me in my Victoria’s Secret pajamas but I was too angry to care. It was too early in the morning for this crap.

  “Jeremy, what do you want?” So much for keeping calm.

  He looked so pitiful standing there with his hands stuffed in his pockets. “I came to bring my angel home.”

  I gave a rude snort. “Home? I am home.”

  “Home is where the heart is and it’s with me.” I just looked at him with one eye open but I’d be lying if I wasn’t impressed he was here fighting for his woman. When was the last time I had a man do that?

  “Can I please come in?”

  I blew out a long breath because I was really sleepy and needed to get up in three hours and get ready for work. But I stepped aside and moved over to the sofa and took a seat. Jeremy sat beside me and took my hand in his. “Angel, I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry for what?” I wanted to shout, “Sorry for lying?” but I contained myself.

  “For not telling you about Alexis.”

  I cut my eyes in his direction and waited.

  If the look on his face wasn’t a sign of a guilty conscience I don’t know what was. “Alexis isn’t my wife, she’s my daughter. That was her phone her mother called me on.”

  “I’m listening,” I replied suspiciously.

  “I met Gwen in high school. We were only sixteen and dated off and on and then she found out she was pregnant. I don’t even know if Alexis is really mine, but I’ve been raising her anyway.”

  “And paying child support,” I added with sarcasm.

  Jeremy looked down at the floor as he nodded. “Yes, until she turns twenty-one. She’s a freshman in college.”

  Well, at least she was doing something with her life.

  I guess the silence got to be too much for him. “So now what? You’re breaking off our engagement?”

  I just stared off at the wall. I was in no rush to answer. All the lying. He had five kids. Dammit! Did I really want a man with that much responsibility?

  I shook my head. No way was I making this easy for him. “I don’t know. I just need time to think.”

  “Angel, look at me.” I tilted my head and gazed into his big brown eyes that were full of remorse. “Do you love me?” he asked.

  God, why do I love this man so much? He was so insecure but it was clear to see he had so much love in his heart.

  “Yes, I love you.”

  “Then if you love me, why does it matter?”

  No he didn’t. “It matters because you lied!” My neck was rolling with attitude.

  “I didn’t lie,” he said.

  “Yes, you did!” I snapped. “You told me you had three kids, then I found out you have an ‘adopted’ daughter, and now I discover your oldest daughter is in college. All you had to do was just be honest in the first damn place!”

  “You’re right.” I thought he was going to confess everything—right then and there. So imagine my disappointment, when Jeremy lowered his head like a little boy being scolded by his mama, and it made me feel bad. Damn, why does he do that?

  His eyes finally met mine and he simply said, “I un
derstand if you don’t want to be with me anymore. You’re beautiful, educated, and you have no kids. That’s why I didn’t tell you because I figured if you knew the truth you never woulda gone out with me in the first place.”

  His explanation didn’t prove a damn thing as far as I was concerned. “Okay…, but correct me if I’m wrong. Wouldn’t you rather a woman be with you because of who you are not who you pretend to be?”

  Jeremy was quiet again and looked so pathetic I was the one squeezing his hand. After a long silence, I leaned back on the couch and closed my eyes. This was some soap opera shit.

  “Angel.” I opened my eyes and my heart warmed at the seriousness of his expression. “I know I was wrong, but I’m a good man. I just made a stupid mistake. Give me another chance and I promise from this point on I’ll be honest.” He was down on his knee, pleading with me to forgive him. “But I can’t lose my rib.”

  Rib? This was some ridiculous Adam and Eve crap. “What about Tracy? What ring were you talking about?”

  He shook his head. “She’s my ex-girlfriend. While we were dating she was wearing my fraternity ring. I asked her for it back.”

  I stared into his eyes, trying to read him. After a long moment, I replied, “Why do I believe you?”

  He smirked. “Because Angel, you know I’m telling you the truth.”

  No. I didn’t know because part of me didn’t want to know. It was crazy and insane.

  “Angel, please forgive me?” Jeremy looked at me, studying my facial expressions then leaned forward until I was lying flat on my back. “I can’t lose my angel.”

  I should have told him to kiss my ass and get out of my house, but I couldn’t. “I don’t know why I’m even considering forgiving you.”

  “Maybe because you know I’m a good man with good intentions. And I promise you no man will ever love you like I do.”

  His lips brushed against mine and one of us—maybe it was me—leaned forward and captured his lips in a kiss. My kitty cat started purring and I was spreading my legs and wrapping them around his waist. “Don’t you ever keep anything that important from me again,” I scolded between kisses.