The Torn, Book One of the Holding Kate Series

by Cole, LaDonna

  Even if Corey’s head wound was okay, what about his heart wound? Would he still be perfect, pure Corey? The words I spoke to bring Trip back were true, but so were plenty of unspoken words that I needed to say to Corey. How could I even think of saying them to him when it would just make matters more complicated? Tara was right. I was a horrible person. I destroyed the ones I loved the most. Maybe that is why Daddy left us, because I loved him too much, needed him too much. Maybe it was my fault. I was pretty sure it was.

  I wrapped my arms around my middle and leaned my head against the wall. Mel sensed I was in turmoil, and she scooted close to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I fell into her arms and sobbed like a baby. Ugh! What was wrong with me? I had cried more in this place than I had my whole life combined.

  The door opened and Ash and Tara walked in. I jumped up and ran to them, but I stopped suddenly in front of them, awkwardly, and glanced up at Tara.

  She smiled and said, “Hey Mutha.”

  I gawked, nonplussed, until she pulled me into a hug, Ash wrapped his arms around us both and we stood there locked in a sphere of trust.

  Finally, Ash broke away. “I am exhausted and starving! When do we get to eat?”

  Tara and I laughed and broke apart. I noticed she wiped a tear, too. Mel got the story from them, and they confirmed that it was Trip’s jump. It was like déjà vu hearing the story from their perspectives; I had already been in their heads. There were some new things I didn’t know about, like their hike around the mountain the first day, how they found an abandoned campsite and purloined some supplies. I hadn’t even questioned where we got the pot and cups from. I was an idiot and said so.

  “No, you had other things on your mind.” Tara was being nice to me. It felt weird.

  “Have any others from our team jumped?” Ash asked.

  Mel gave him a shake of her head. “You were only gone for about an hour. They are all in bed.”

  We gaped at each other in astonishment.

  “How long was your jump on your side?” Mel asked.

  “Two days,” I said.

  “Four days,” Ash and Tara said at the same time.

  I snapped my head at them. “What?”

  Tara nodded. “You were out for two days after the dragonet zapped you.”

  My mouth popped open, “I had no idea!”

  Tara giggled. “You should have seen Corey and Trip take turns at caring for you.”

  Ash laughed along. “Yeah it was pretty hilarious, Corey’s hands smoking all the time and Trip getting knocked on his butt every other hour or so.”

  I moaned. “How embarrassing.”

  Tara’s giggles turned into uncontrollable laughter. “Ash kept making cracks about you being hot!” She doubled over.

  “I thought I would bust open when you mimicked Trip’s voice and said ‘Pikachu, I choose you!’”

  We all broke out into laughter. “So you two sat around and made jokes at my expense the whole two days I was out.”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Nice.” I shook my head and grinned at them. The door opened again and Trip walked into the room. Tara and I jumped up and ran to him and threw ourselves into his arms.

  He laughed and held us tightly. Ash walked over and Trip let go of Tara and bumped his fist. He kept his arm around me and even pulled me tighter to him. I avoided Tara’s expression. I couldn’t take anymore broken hearts because of my existence just now. I just enjoyed the warmth of Trip’s healthy and whole body next to mine.

  The door opened again, and I whirled around. “Corey?”

  It wasn’t him. An attendant walked over to Mel and spoke in hushed tones while we watched.

  Trip leaned down and whispered in my ear. “Hey, Katie girl.”

  I looked into his eyes and reached up to touch his face. “Hey.”

  “Let’s find some private time, ASAP.” He whispered into my hair. “There is so much I want to tell you.”

  I just drank in the sight of his sparkling eyes.

  Mel approached. “Well, we can go back to the cabin. They are going to keep Corey overnight.”

  “Why? What is wrong?” My heart skipped a beat.

  “They say he has a concussion and will need to stay under medical observation.” Her voice held a note of astonishment and she frowned as though something was wrong with that situation.

  “Can I see him?”

  “No, not now. They want to debrief him before anyone from the jump team sees him.”

  I frowned and pressed my teeth into my lip. I wasn’t going to be okay until I knew Corey was okay. I glanced at Trip and he was watching me closely, concern creased his features.

  “I want to stay here until I know Corey is okay.” I insisted.

  “You need to rest. All of you do. I am taking you to the cabin now and forcing you all into your bunks.” Mel planted a fist on her hip. I knew I was out ranked.

  We followed her to the cart and she drove us down the hill and kept her word. She fed us turkey sandwiches and apple slices then tucked every one of us into bed. I was asleep almost before my head landed.

  “Let her sleep!” Tara hissed.

  “Oh Katie,” another voice sing-songed quietly.

  “We need details!” A third voice sang along.

  I moaned and opened one eye. Caitlyn’s brown eyes hovered into my vision. “Uhhhggg.” I moaned and ducked under my pillow.

  “She’s exhausted! You guys need to let her rest.”

  “No can do, Barbie. We saw her making out with Corey on that floor and we want to know the scoop.” Pinky smacked her gum.

  “Yeah, by the way, Xena, we saw you and Trip all arm in arm, cheek to cheek, when you came back from your Scriptorium, so you have some talking to do too. Uh-huh!” Caitlyn mouthed in her sassy, street-wise tones.

  “Leave her alone.” I spoke through my pillow.

  “She’s alive.” Pinky lifted the edge of my pillow to peek at me.

  I sat up and glanced at Tara. She raised an eyebrow at me as she watched me through the vanity mirror. She turned. “Heya, Mutha!”

  Caitlyn jumped up. “OH NO YOU Di’UNT! Thems fight’n words where I come from.”

  I grabbed her arm. “Meow!” I laughed. “It’s a joke. Besides you don’t want to get all up in that, believe me.” I waved my open hand in circles at Tara.

  Caitlyn calmed, but gave Tara a scathing looking. “What do you mean a joke?”

  “It was something that happened to me on the jump. Do you want to hear that or did you want to grill me about Corey.”

  “I’m outta here. I don’t care to hear about either one.” Tara strode her goddess body from the room.

  “Rude!” Caitlyn quipped.

  “Corey first.” Pinky bounced on the bed.

  I gave them the highlights all the while wondering if Corey was okay. Then they explained their Scriptorium stories. Pinky and Kail had been trained as bards in a strange place called the Crystal Certosa. Caitlyn and Navarro had gone to an underwater world that sounded fascinating. Caitlyn was head over heels in love with the Choctaw boy from Oklahoma. Pinky and Kail were just really good friends.

  They asked me if I was in love with Corey, and I said “I have loved him for a thousand years.”

  “Ohhhh…” They both sighed.

  “What about Trip?” Pinky asked.

  “I love him, too.” I frowned.

  “Both?” Caitlyn gaped in horror.

  “Yes. Both. But in very different ways.”

  “Okay, but whose bones do you want to jump the most?” Pinky grinned mischievously and smacked a wad of gum the exact shade of her hair.

  That I couldn’t answer. I just popped her in the face with my pillow and said. “Wouldn’t you like to know? Let’s get dressed. I’m starved.”

  We walked into the common area of the cabin and noted the one lone inhabitant. Tara sat at the bar drinking milk from a cereal bowl. I climbed onto the stool beside her.

  “Where is ev
eryone?” I dropped some bread slices into the toaster.

  “Mel said the boys went to play a game of volleyball. We get the cabin to ourselves for a while.”

  “Good by me.” Pinky exclaimed slicing into a grapefruit.

  Caitlyn went straight for the coffee pot.

  “MMM…over here, sista!” I pointed to the mugs I had taken from the rack. She poured both cups and I dove for the cream and sugar.

  We ate our breakfast while they grilled Tara on her Scriptorium experience. She left out the part about falling in love with Trip, but described the battles in great detail. Finally, Pinky grimaced and held up a hand.

  “Okay, that’s about all I can take of blood and guts for today.”

  Tara laughed. I think that had been her goal all along. “I’m going for a run.” She unzipped her jacket and slung it over a chair stretched a bit then took off in her sports bra and shorts.

  We all gaped at her perfection. I threw my crusts down and felt my stomach curdle. Caitlyn scrunched up her lip and arched a brow until the Amazon princess was out of sight.

  “The boys on the campus are in for a treat today.” Pinky giggled at our envious expressions.

  “I want to go see the horses.” Caitlyn threw off her envy and bounced up and down.

  “Okay.”

  “Sounds good.”

  We headed toward the front door. Caitlyn salsa danced around me and hummed a saucy tune. Too much caffeine. We drew up short when Corey stepped in and the screen slammed behind him.

  “Corey.” I whispered in relief and hope and so many other feelings.

  “Hey, my Kate.” His face beamed.

  “Ohhh…” Pinky and Caitlyn sighed. “We are gonna just…yeah…”

  “Just go on without you, Kate.” Caitlyn finished.

  Corey and I just stared at each other. I was barely aware of them leaving, until the screen door slammed. I ran into Corey’s arms.

  “Corey, Corey.” I cried into his chest. “I was so worried.”

  “I’m okay. Just a bump.”

  “Just a bump? You fought a dragon!” My eyes searched his face hungrily. I needed to see for myself that he was okay. My hands fluttered up and down his arms and chest, I had to know he was unharmed.

  “I’m fine, Kate.” His eyes searched me and I remembered he had another wound, one the medics would not be able to soothe. Only I could speak the words that would heal his heart.

  “Can we get out of here? Go somewhere we won’t be interrupted?” I asked.

  “Sure. The cart is still out there. Let’s go.”

  We set off in the golf cart away from the campus activities and found a pretty stone archway with a fuchsia flowered vine growing around it. A swing hung from a tree on the far side. We walked hand in hand to the swing and sat down. I sat sideways in the swing and laced my legs over his lap and he pushed with his feet. We swayed in the shade and he played with my fingers. It was so familiar and pleasant, I didn’t want to break the mood with talk that would inevitably end up hurting one of us. Both of us. Anything that hurt Corey was going to gouge me deeply.

  After the sun moved toward noon, though it seemed we had been together only minutes, Corey spoke the dreaded words.

  “You wanted to talk, Kate.”

  “I did.”

  “But you don’t, now.”

  “I…I do…” My face crumpled. I was such a coward.

  “Listen, Kate.” He started. “I know how you feel about me—about him. There is really nothing to say until you have made a choice.”

  I hid my face in my hands.

  “If you are worried that I am going to fall apart or something, don’t.” He pulled my hands away from my face. “I have already heard your confession of love for him. I don’t need to hear it again.”

  I put my finger on his lips. “Shhh.”

  He took my hand and kissed my fingers.

  “You only heard part of my confession. It is time you heard the rest.” I scooted closer to him. “Yes, Trip saved me.”

  Corey looked away from me and clenched his jaw.

  “I scanned his mind, and he was the one who brought me back to Kate. I owe him a lot for that. But, Corey, not until I scanned your mind did I realize who I am meant to be. You love me for who I was, for who I am, who I can be, who I will be. Trip may have brought me back, but you anchored me.” I took his hand and placed it on the center of my stomach. “If I hadn’t seen myself through your eyes, I would still be The Mother. You are the reason I am here. You are the one I have loved forever.”

  He took a deep shuddering breath and drew me into his arms and kissed me. Warmth spread through me and I ignited. Sweet Corey. I didn’t need any dragonet to make me yearn for him. He was his own charismatic force that drew me and locked me inextricably to his heart. I was nowhere strong enough to pull away, even if I wanted to—and I didn’t want to pull away from my forever love, my Corey. He did finally, pull back, leaving me breathless. He was so good at kissing me. I guess practice does make perfect, we had a thousand years of perfecting our kisses.

  “My Kate,” he sighed a sound of perfect bliss. It made my insides go all warm and fluffy. “Have you told Trip, yet? Did he take it well?” He combed his fingers through my hair and planted kisses along the length of my jaw.

  “Told him what?” I nuzzled into his neck, I had a good buzz going and was feeling a bit lightheaded after kissing Corey. I certainly didn’t want to talk about Trip. I wanted to go back to kissing this perfect gorgeous boy. My lips found his and lingered there, reciprocating warmth and softness as we kissed and parted, delved deeper and explored gently, tenderly.

  “That you have chosen me.” He said between kisses.

  “What?” The buzz stuttered.

  Corey pulled away from my lips and looked me in the eye. “Kate, you did just tell me that you chose me, right?”

  “Well, yes…no…it’s complicated.” Buzz splat! Dead.

  Corey stiffened and gently pushed me back. “Complicated.” He blew an angry sigh. “It isn’t this complicated, Kate.” He suddenly untangled himself and stood up, his face twisted in agony. “I am done with this game. Consider your life uncomplicated.” He turned and strode past the golf cart back toward the cabin.

  “Corey! Corey, wait.” I called after him, but he kept striding away from me. With every step he took, my heart cracked and dropped its shards into the pit of my stomach. He was right. I had played him again without realizing it. I made his pain a hundred times worse. What was that? Three or four times now I had yanked his heart out and handed it to him? He deserved better. He was worth better. I was poison.

  I curled up on the swing and sobbed. I was getting good at this crying thing. Why not go with it? So I did. I cried hot tears that ran down my cheek onto the wood below me. This place was not good for me! These jumps seemed to scrape open my heart and leave me ragged and raw. How many more would I have to endure before I could walk away from this nightmare? Who was in charge of this hell hole? Why did they think emotionally ravaging us like this was okay?

  No. I couldn’t find anyone else to blame. Pinky wasn’t punching holes in people’s hearts. Caitlyn with all of her ghetto charm and street cred wasn’t stabbing people in the back with knives. It was me. I was the bad guy here. I was the one who couldn’t make a decision. I was the poison, the ravager, the perpetrator of people I loved.

  When my tears had dried up, I just sat there staring ahead of me, seeing nothing. Rejection. It seemed to be a theme in my life. I was always being rejected by people who were supposed to love me. Good people. People I loved. People who were close enough to me to be poisoned by my self-centered ways. No wonder people rejected me. I rejected me.

  Corey was right. This game was over. I was done. No more victims would fall at my feet. I would make sure they both knew that I was not available. I would clam up, close up and weather this whole ridiculous thing. In a few weeks or months, maybe I would get released, or better yet, maybe I would die in one of the
jumps. That would be better for everyone.

  Lost in my own misery, I didn’t even realize when the rain started. I was soaked before it occurred to me to get to shelter. The sizzling flash of lightning got me moving though. I jumped into the golf cart, threw it into forward and stepped on the pedal. The tires spun in the wet grass, so I bounced a bit to get it moving. I wasn’t quite sure where I was. Corey had been driving on the way out and I had been preoccupied. I drove in the direction I thought we had come from hoping to hit one of the black top roads that wound through the village.

  The rain fell in sheets around me and the clouds had shadowed the day. No black top presented itself, so I drove to the top of a hill to get my bearings. Thunder ripped open the sky as I reached the top and I could see the little red school house in the distance. I drove over the edge of the hill toward the village and sank into a puddle of mud. The tires whirred in circles and flung black mud into the rain. Another flash of lightning, too close for comfort, was chased by a loud rumbling shock of thunder. The cart dug a trench into the puddle until the back of the cart sank into the mushy ground.

  Crap! Crap! I got out and tried to push the cart out of the mud which was tantamount to a French poodle trying to move the Eifel Tower.

  I was knee deep in the slogging pit when I heard my name called in the distance. Corey? He came back for me? Thank God! I flashed the lights on the golf cart trying to draw his attention. After a few minutes, I saw a parka clad figure racing toward me.

  “Kate!” It wasn’t Corey’s voice that called my name. My heart shriveled a size. It wasn’t Corey. He really was done. He had completely written me off, then. If he still loved me, he would have been coming for me, worried sick about me out here in the storm.

  “Kate!” Trip ran to me.

  “It’s stuck. I can’t get it to move,” I hollered through the rain.

  He whipped off his parka and draped me in it, then picked me up and threw me into the cart. “Drive!” He shouted as he rounded the back and heaved against the cart.

  The tires splattered him in thick chunks and he practically lifted the cart out of the mud and pushed it free from the puddle. He jumped in beside me. “Drive along the ridge until you get to the road.” He pointed.