Cowboy in the Making

by Julie Benson

  ’Atta girl. Don’t give her the satisfaction of seeing she hurt you.

  “I can’t see as there’s any reason for you and my son to talk, but if you tell me what the issue is, I’ll relay the information to him.”

  “That’s not good enough. I want to talk to him myself.”

  “This is about him getting tested to help that boy, isn’t it? I told the man who called to get Tucker’s number that he couldn’t deal with that right now.”

  Emma stiffened. Her eyes darkened. When she bit her lip, he knew she was trying to hold back her temper, and he wondered if it would be better if she let it loose. At least then she’d get the satisfaction of putting this bitch in her place.

  “This isn’t just some boy.” Emma’s low, surprisingly calm voice rippled through him, filling him with admiration and respect. “This is your grandson we’re talking about.”

  “No, it’s not. He’s someone else’s grandchild,” Mary said. “My son signed away his parental rights. We have no connection with that child. No more than any stranger we see on the street.”

  This time Jamie was the one who stiffened. The woman’s words pierced him, nicking a sensitive spot he hadn’t known still existed. This icy detachment, almost to the point of cruelty, had been what he’d run into headfirst when he’d contacted his birth mother.

  A realization crashed through him. Some people really did lack the capability for human compassion. He caught sight of Emma out of the corner of his eye. Caring, determination and love for the child she’d never known rolled off her in waves.

  “You and your son have a genetic connection with this little boy. Tucker is the most likely person to be a match. Are you saying he won’t take a simple test to see if he can help save a child’s life?”

  “If it were any other time, it would be a possibility, but this tour is important to Tucker’s career. Maybe after that’s over—”

  “Andrew doesn’t have time to wait. I want Tucker’s number. He owes me for dumping me and moving in with another woman when I was pregnant. Let him tell me he’s unwilling to help the child we created.”

  “That may be what you want, but it’s not what you’re going to get.” Mary crossed her arms over her chest and sneered at Emma, as if she was the one who was justified in her indignation.

  “You relay this message to your son. He will get the test done. If he refuses I’ll tell whoever will listen, starting with the local media, about his refusal to help that child, as you referred to him. Then I’ll talk about how the song ‘My Heart Is Yours’ that he’s always been so proud of as the hit that launched his career, was actually something we worked on together and how I’ve never received a dime for my work. Tell him I’m prepared to sell my soul to the devil to pay for a lawyer to take him to court over that fact.”

  “You can’t do that after all these years.”

  Emma leaned forward, her posture rigid, her eyes hard and unyielding. “I don’t know if I can or not, but let him refuse to have the test, and I’ll sure check into it. If nothing else, when I’m done with his reputation, Marilyn Manson will look like a choirboy next to Tucker.” Then she turned and stormed off.

  Disgust welled up inside him for the woman fuming in front of him. Wanting to drive home Emma’s threat, he said, “And if you think you can bully her into keeping quiet if your son still refuses to get tested, let me tell you something. If Emma doesn’t tell the media about him, I will, and I won’t have to start with the local media. I have contacts in New York. It will be your son’s worst public-relations nightmare come to life.”

  * * *

  EMMA SAT IN the passenger seat as Jamie drove to her apartment, her arms wrapped around her middle as if she could hold herself together.

  “Talk about an unpleasant experience. That rated right up there with trying on swimsuits.” She chuckled, but instead of a lighthearted sound, it came off almost fragile.

  No. I won’t let his mother rattle me. I made it through the battle. That’s what counts.

  “But you survived,” Jamie said, echoing her thoughts. How did he do that? In a few short weeks he knew her better than anyone, except maybe Avery. How had she let that happen?

  “You’re one helluva woman,” Jamie continued. “Tucker Mathis may be a star, but he and his mother can’t hold a candle to you. None of his money can buy him what he lacks in character and strength. You’ve got both by the truckload.”

  I do, don’t I? How had she failed to realize that before? She’d had some tough times in her life, but she’d weathered them. She hadn’t given up—on herself or her dreams. That took guts and a whole lot of courage.

  “But I didn’t get his phone number.”

  “You accomplished what you needed to, which was making sure Tucker gets tested.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “I’ve seen his family’s type before. They’re all about image. I guarantee she’s on the phone with him right now telling him to get tested. She knew you meant business about going to the media. There’s no way they want the fact that he refused to get tested to save the child he gave up getting out. He’ll do whatever’s necessary to keep you quiet.”

  Jamie had pegged the situation after one encounter with Tucker’s family. How had she missed seeing what they were like? Basically selfish, image-conscious people with about as much character as a pet rock.

  But Tucker and his family always managed to put on a good show. His family, prominent and proper, had appeared so perfect from the outside. They were local business people, community leaders who attended church regularly and supported local charities. She’d been young and had only seen what she’d wanted to see. Now she counted herself lucky for having dodged a bullet. If Tucker hadn’t walked out on her who knows how many unhappy years she’d have spent with him before things fell apart.

  She glanced at the man in the driver’s seat beside her. Even years ago, she’d known what a good man Jamie was and he’d only gotten better. Look at how he’d been there for her since he’d come to Colorado. He’d stepped up to help her with the band. He’d been with her through all of this with Andrew.

  When he parked in front of her building she knew should thank him, head for her apartment and lock the door behind her. That would be the smart thing to do, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him goodbye. Right now she was so empty and lonely. So didn’t want to be alone. No, that wasn’t right. She wanted to be with Jamie.

  “Do you want to come in? I could make dinner or we could order a pizza.”

  Emma almost cringed. She sounded as nervous as a teenager asking a boy to a Sadie Hawkins dance for the first time.

  “You sure?”

  The unspoken question hung between them. She didn’t care anymore. All she knew was she wanted to be with Jamie, and to hell with common sense.

  “Absolutely.”

  The minute she closed the front door behind her, the shaking started. Something about stepping into her home, her haven, and in that split second she’d let down her guard, the emotions swamped her. Her feelings for Jamie, though Lord only knew exactly what those were, and her fear for the son she loved but had never known. “What if Tucker doesn’t get tested? Or what if he does, but he’s not a match? Then what will happen?” She dug into her purse for her phone, found the picture Mark had sent her and held it out for Jamie. “This beautiful little boy could die.” The boy with her eyes and dark hair.

  Tears stung her eyes and strong arms enveloped her, holding her close. She rested her cheek against Jamie’s sturdy chest. His strong and steady heartbeat pounded in her ear. She’d shut herself off and quit feeling anything, but now, for good or bad, Jamie had changed that.

  She pulled back and gazed into his eyes. His soul lay open, filled with compassion and understanding.

  “Hearing what Tucker’s mother said had to be
hard on you, too. How she referred to Andrew as ‘that child.’”

  “I got to admit it stung, but only for a second. Some people lack the strength to deal with life. Kimberly’s one of those. So is Tucker’s mother. For those people there are only two choices—ignore problems or blame someone else. Kimberly ignores. Tucker’s mom is a blamer and you’re her favorite target.” Admiration shone in his gaze. “You’re so much better than they are. You meet life head-on. You’ve been through so much, and yet it hasn’t broken your spirit.”

  “It’s come close.”

  “Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.”

  She laughed. “I love how you make me laugh.”

  I love you. The realization rippled through Emma, starting out small but taking root and growing. She waited for the uncertainty, the panic, the fear to come, but instead a calm enveloped her.

  Closing herself off from everyone wasn’t the way to live. Sure, she’d been protected, but she’d missed out on so much happiness and joy, too. She didn’t know where things were going between her and Jamie, but right now she wanted him. She wanted to feel, to grab on to life and hold on for however long she could.

  Her hands splayed across his chest, discovering his heart’s frantic beating matched her own as she covered his lips with hers. She wanted this man, to have the most intimate connection she could have with another person.

  He lifted her into his arms. As he carried her the few feet to the couch, she kissed him with all the passion she’d been holding back. He sank onto the soft cushions, and she moved around to straddle him, the evidence of his desire strong and thick against her pelvis.

  Her hands quickly worked the buttons of his shirt and she slid the garment off his shoulders. “My, what broad shoulders and great abs you have,” she said, sounding a little too much like Little Red Riding Hood. “Who would’ve guessed?”

  “Must be all that cowboy stock in my genes.” He grinned at her. “But I do work out.”

  With excellent results.

  She leaned forward and kissed along his collarbone, but it wasn’t enough. Their movements grew frantic as they explored each other. Caressing, teasing, exciting. His hand slipped inside her cotton blouse and under her lacy bra to cup her breast. Her moan echoed in the room.

  His lips followed the path his hands traveled, and she couldn’t think. The pleasure built inside her, threatening to consume her. Not that she cared. All she wanted right now was Jamie. To be alive and with him.

  The sound of her zipper lowering echoed through the room. Then his hand, warm and firm, slid down her abdomen and found her sensitive core. Desire welled up inside her as his fingers stroked her. She closed her eyes and leaned back in his arms. His tongue flicked against her nipple and wave after wave rocked through her, leaving her spent.

  * * *

  WHEN EMMA’S LIPS moved over Jamie’s, he knew he should push her away. She was confused. Her emotions had gotten all stirred up. Fear and love for the child she’d never known. Pain over reliving her past with Tucker, and Lord only knew what else. She didn’t know what to do about how she felt and she’d turned to him.

  Then she kissed him, and he didn’t care about anything but her. Giving her what she needed. Pleasing her.

  She stiffened in his arms as her body reached fulfillment and he nearly lost control himself.

  “While I’m all worn out and satisfied, the same can’t be said for you.” She cupped him through his jeans, and he groaned. Pleasure, sharp and overwhelming, shot through him. Her palm rubbed against him. He closed his eyes and for a minute he savored the exquisite joy of her touch. The pressure built inside him, threatening to devour him until he knew he’d reached his limit. He clasped her hands in his.

  “What’s the problem? Is it that you don’t have a condom?”

  Common sense warred with his raging need. “I’m not going to make love to you.”

  “Is it me?”

  Rejection and embarrassment flashed in her eyes, making him regret the way he was handling this. “No. It’s not. You’re perfect.” His lips covered hers. His need coursed through him as his mouth mated with hers. At some point he’d released her hands and she slid them over his chest. Her fingers teased his nipples, mimicking his early ministrations. Through his haze he heard his zipper lowering. Then a second later her warm hand covered his heated flesh. His moan echoed through the room, bouncing off the walls, threatening to send him over the edge.

  His body throbbed and ached in a way he never imagined possible as he pried her hands away from his pulsing flesh. “I want you. There’s no hiding that, sweetheart, but a lot’s happened within the past couple of days. Your emotions are all churned up, and you don’t know what to do about that.”

  “Oh, yes, I do. I want you. Inside me.”

  Her words nearly undid him, but somehow he harnessed his self-control. “No birth control’s a hundred percent.”

  Her eyes widened with shock, and he knew she hadn’t thought of that. “You’re right. I was on the pill when I got pregnant with Andrew.” She leaned down and kissed him. Her tongue slipped between his lips and mated with his. When she pulled away, desire flared in her gaze. Her saucy grin taunted him. “That still leaves us a lot of options.”

  His mind reeled with the possibilities as she pushed him back on the couch. She tugged at his jeans and he lifted his hips for her to free him. Then she straddled him. Proud and passionate, she stared down at him, her dark hair wild and disheveled from his hands. His heart expanded and he swore she could see inside to his soul. He wondered what he’d missed not having her in his life all these years.

  Forget about that. She’s here now. With you because this is where she wants to be.

  She leaned over him, kissing him lightly as her hands skimmed across his chest. Her calluses from years of playing the guitar created an exquisite friction against his heated skin. Then her lips moved lower. He couldn’t breathe. When her tongue licked the tip of his sensitive flesh he couldn’t hold back his groan, and he forgot about everything but Emma and how she made him feel. Her mouth continued to do amazing things to him until he gave in to the pleasure and the exquisite release.

  A few minutes later, once he could think coherently, Jamie wondered what he’d done. Had the most incredible sex of his life with a woman he cared about more than he wanted to admit. That’s what he’d done.

  He and Emma needed to talk about what had happened between them, about their relationship and the future, but sprawled here with her all warm and softly snuggled against him, he couldn’t bring himself to spoil what they’d shared. Especially when he wasn’t sure about anything right now. What to do about his career. His life in general. How he felt about the caring, strong woman beside him. She meant more to him than any other woman he’d ever known, but did he love her? How could he say when he’d never felt that emotion for anyone other than his family?

  “I don’t know what the future holds, none of us do, really, but can we at least say we’re dating, and we’ll see where this goes?” he said.

  “That’s fine with me.”

  Good. They were both clear on where they were and where they were headed.

  * * *

  MONDAY JAMIE WALKED into the restaurant for his shift whistling the tune he and Emma had worked on yesterday. They’d spent the day together writing music. Then they’d gone for a mountain hike and talked. About their childhoods, about college and whatever else came to mind. They’d followed that with another round of hot and heavy petting. By far the best weekend he’d had in a long time.

  Jamie headed straight for Mick’s office. “I need a favor.”

  His grandfather looked up from the stack of invoices on his desk. “Name it.”

  “I want to use the restaurant for a couple of hours on Wednesday before we open to have a bone marrow donor registration
drive. Dr. Sampson’s willing to donate his time. He offered his office, but I’m hoping the turnout will be too big for that space.”

  “Did Tucker get tested?”

  “You’re damn right he did.” He told Mick how Emma had stood up to Tucker’s mother and threatened to go to the media if he refused. “She scared him so much he contacted a local doctor to come to the hotel to take the sample yesterday. It’ll be a few days before we get the results, but what will happen if he’s not a match is weighing on Emma’s mind. I decided to follow her advice of hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst by organizing the drive.”

  “That’s a great idea. I’ll be the first one in line to get tested.”

  “I figured we could open up at nine, and be cleared out in time for lunch.”

  “Not only can you use the place, I’ll give anyone who agrees to get tested a free lunch.”

  “That should bring people in. Can I use the restaurant’s computer and printer to create flyers to put up around town?”

  “Use whatever you need to. In fact, work on that now. I’ll cover your shift around here. Once you’ve got the flyers printed, put some up in our window, leave a stack on the bar and take some around town. Now get going. You’ve got important work to do.”

  * * *

  AROUND ELEVEN-THIRTY Emma poked her head into Avery’s office. “I didn’t have anything to bring for lunch today. How about we go out? I was thinking about heading over to Halligan’s. I’ve got a craving for a burger.”

  Avery laughed. “Sure. A burger. That’s why you want to go there. It doesn’t have anything to do with wanting to see a certain bartender.”

  Heat rushed through Emma, leaving her flushed. Now he’s got me blushing. I’m so far gone, but I’m not sure I care anymore. “I admit that would be an added benefit.”

  “With as many hours as we’ve been putting in lately, we deserve a long lunch.” Avery grabbed her purse out of her bottom desk drawer. “You and Jamie looked pretty cozy at the Pet Walk.”