Book of Shadows- Cate Tiernan

by Cate Tiernan

  Before I got there, Chris walked up and spoke to Bree. Frowning, she headed off with him, talking intently as they walked away.

  "Hey, Morgan," said Tamara, walking up to me. I glanced over at Cal. He was talking to Ethan.

  "Hi," I said."How was your weekend?"

  "Okay. I called you on Sunday, but I guess you were at church. How was the circle? What happened after I left?"

  I grinned. "It was really neat," I said. "We just made a circle and went around the fire. We talked about things we

  wanted to get rid of."

  "Like... pollution or what?" asked Tamara.

  "Pollution!" I said. "That would have been a good one. I wish I'd thought of it. No, stuff like anger and fear. Ethan tried to banish his stepmother."

  Tamara laughed, and Janice walked up and joined us.

  "Hi," she said, pushing her glasses up on her delicate nose. "Listen, Tarn, I have to go put a proof up on Dr. Gonzalez's board. Want to come?"

  "Sure," said Tamara. "Coming, Morgan?"

  "No, that's okay," I said. They walked off, and I headed over to the east-side benches.

  "Hey, Morgan," Jenna said, sounding friendly.

  "Hi," I said.

  "We're talking about our next circle," Raven said. "That is, if you've recovered." Today Raven was wearing a boned maroon corset, a black skirt, black ankle boots, and a black velvet jacket Eye-catching.

  I felt my cheeks heating up. "I'm recovered," I said, playing with the zipper of my hooded sweatshirt

  "It's not unusual for a sensitive person to have some kind of reaction to circles at first," said Cal in his low voice. The timbre of it fluttered in my chest"! did myself."

  "Ooh, sensitive Morgan," said Todd.

  "So when's our next circle?" asked Suzanne, flicking back her surfer-blond hair.

  Cal looked at her evenly. "I'm afraid you're not invited to our next circle," he said.

  Suzanne looked shocked. "What?" she said, forcing a laugh.

  "No," Cal continued."Not you, nor Todd. Nor Alessandra."

  The three of them stared at him, and I felt fiercely glad. I remembered how snide they had been on Saturday night They were part of Bree's clique, and it was unthinkable that someone would stand up to them, would cut them out of something. I was enjoying it

  "What are you talking about?" Todd asked. "Didn't we do it right?" He sounded belligerent as if trying to cover up embarrassment

  "No," Cal said calmly. "You didn't do it right" He offered no other explanation, and we all stood there, waiting to see what would happen next

  "I don't believe this," said Alessandra.

  "I know," Cal said. He sounded almost sympathetic.

  Todd, Alessandra, and Suzanne looked at each other, at Cal, and at the rest of us. No one said anything or asked them to stay. It was very odd.

  "Huh," said Todd."l guess we know when we're not wanted. Come on, ladies." He offered his arms to Alessandra and Suzanne, and they had no choice but to take them. They looked humiliated and angry, but they had brought it on themselves.

  Daringly, I gave Cal a look of thanks, and he kept his eyes locked on mine for several beats. I couldn't look away.

  Suddenly Cal pushed himself off the bench he'd been leaning against and came to stand in front of me. "What do I have behind my back?" he asked.

  My brow creased for a second, then I said, "An apple. Green and red." It was as if I had seen it in his hand.

  He smiled, and his expressive, gold-colored eyes crinkled at the edges. He brought his hand from around his back and handed me a hard, greenish red apple, with a leaf still attached to its stem.

  Feeling awkward and shy, aware of everyone's eyes on me, I took the apple and bit it, hoping juice wouldn't run down my chin.

  "Good guess," Raven said, sounding irritated. It occurred to me that she was probably Jones for Cal big time.

  "It wasn't a guess," Cal said softly, his eyes on me.

  That afternoon when Mary K. and I got home, we found out that Mr. Herndon from down the street had fallen off a ladder while cleaning his gutters. He had broken his leg. Mary K. started calling me the Amazing Kreskin. I was so freaked out, I called Bree and asked if I could come over after dinner.

  8. Cal and Bree

  >.<"There exist Seven Houses of Witchery. They keep to themselves, marrying within their clans. Their children are most unnatural, with night-seeing eyes and inhuman powers."

  —Witches, Mages, and Warlocks,

  Altus polyandrous, 1618 >.<

  There's a spark there. I wasn't wrong. I saw it again today. But she hasn't recognized it yet. I have to wait. She needs to be shown, but very carefully.

  Bree answered the door. The night air was brisk, but I was comfy in my sweater.

  "Come on in," she said. "Want something to drink? I've got coffee."

  "Sounds good," I said, following her to the Warrens' huge, professional-style kitchen. Bree poured two tall mugs

  of coffee, then added milk and sugar.

  "Your dad here?" I asked.

  "Yep. Working" she said, stirring."How unusual."

  Mr. Warren is a lawyer. I don't get exactly what he does, but it's the kind of thing where he and a bunch of other lawyers defend big corporations from people who sue them. He makes tons of money but is hardly ever around, at least now that Bree's older.

  Five years ago, when Bree was twelve and her brother.Ty, was eighteen, Bree's mom took off and divorced Bree's dad. It was a huge scandal here in Widow's Vale—Mrs. Warren moving to Europe to be with her much younger boyfriend. Bree's only seen her mom once since then and hardly ever talks about her.

  Upstairs, in Bree's large bedroom, I dove right in. "I think I'm losing my mind. Do you think the circle was dangerous or something?" I sat nervously upright in her tan suede beanbag chair.

  "What are you talking about?" Bree asked, leaning back against the pillows of her double bed. "All we did was dance around in a circle. How could it be dangerous?"

  So I told Bree about my newly discovered sixth sense and that it had started after Saturday night In a rush I told her how I had felt sick Sunday and saw animals around Paula. How I knew about Cal's apple and Mr. Herndon. I reminded her about Mom's phone call.

  Bree waved her hand. "Well, if that stuff was happening to me, I might be a little weirded out, too. But I have to tell you—listening to you talk about it, it seems like you might be kind of overreacting," she said gently. "I mean, you might have heard your mom mention the hymn numbers. We already talked about that Then the phone call—Ms. Fiorello calls your mom all the time, right? God, she's called every time IVe been at your house! I can't explain seeing the animals— except maybe your subconscious picked up the scent of all the vet stuff somehow. And the other things—maybe it's just a bunch of weird coincidences all at the same time, so it adds up and freaks you out But I don't think you're going crazy." She grinned. "At least not yet"

  I felt a little reassured.

  "It's just that it's all at once," I explained, "and this whole Wicca thing. Have you been reading about it?"

  "Uh-huh. So far I like it It's all about women," Bree said, and laughed."No wonder Cal is into it"

  I smiled wryly."Too bad for Justin Bartlett"

  "Oh, Justin's dating someone from Seven Oaks," Bree said dismissively. "He can't hog Cal, too. Hey, remember all those Books of Shadows we saw at Practical Magick?"

  "Uh-huh," I said.

  "They're for witches," Bree said cheerfully. "Witches write down things in their Books of Shadows. Like a diary. They keep notes of spells and stuff they try. Isn't that cool?"

  "Yeah," I agreed. "Do you think local witches go there to buy them?"

  "Sure," said Bree.

  I drank the coffee, hoping it wouldn't keep me up. "Do you think Cal keeps a Book of Shadows?" I asked "With notes about our circles?" I was leading up to telling Bree about my feelings for Cal, but I was self-conscious. This was bigger and harder to explain than any shallow crush I'd ever had. And
even though Bree had named it so casually in Practical Magick,she didn't know how much I liked Cal, how deep my feelings were.

  "Ooh, I bet he does" Bree said with interest. “I'd love to see It I can't wait for our next circle—I already know what I'm going to wear."

  I laughed."And how does Chris feel about this?"

  Bree looked solemn for a moment "It doesn't really matter. I'm going to break up with him."

  "Really? That's too bad. You guys had so much fun over the summer." I felt a nervous flutter in my stomach and shifted back in the beanbag chair.

  "Yeah, but number one, he's started being a jerk, bossing me around. I mean, screw that"

  I nodded in agreement "Number two?"

  "He hates all this Wicca stuff, and I think it's cool. If he isn't going to be supportive of my interests, then who needs him?"

  "Too true," I said, looking forward to having her around to hang out with more often, at least until she found his replacement

  "And number three ..." she said, twining her short hair around one finger.

  "What?" I smiled and drained the last of my coffee.

  "I'm totally and completely crazy about Cal Blaire," Bree announced.

  For several long moments I sat there, encased by the beanbag. My face was frozen, and so was the breath in my lungs. So much for being the Amazing Kreskin. Why hadn't I seen this coming?

  Slowly, slowly, I released my breath. Slowly I drew it in again. "Cal?" I asked, trying to sound calm. "Is that why you want to break up with Chris?"

  “No, I told you—Chris is being as ass. I'd break up with him anyway,”Bree said, her dark eyes shining in her beautiful face.

  Inside my brain, nerve impulses were misfiring frantically, but a new thought managed to formulate. “Is that why you like wicca?” I asked. “Because of

  Cal?”

  “No, not really,”Bree said thoughtfully, looking up at the paisly fabric on her bed's canopy. “I think i'd like Wicca even withour Cal. But i'm just—falling for him in a big way. I want to be with him. And if we have this huge thing in common...”

  She shrugged. “Maybe it'll help us get together.”

  I opened my mouth, fearing that a thousand mean, angry, jealous, awful words were about to fly out. I shut it with a snap. So many pained thoughts were swirling in my head that I didn't know where to start. Was I hurt? Angry? Spiteful? The was Bree. My best firiend for parcatically my whole life. We had both hated boys in fourth grade. We had both gotten our periods in sixth grade. We'd both had crushes to eternal secrecy in ninth.

  And now Bree was telling me she was crazy about the only guy I'd ever felt serious about. The only guy I'd ever wanted, even if I knew I couldn't have him.

  I should have predicted it. My own feelings had blinded me. Cal is unmistakably gorgeous, and Bree falls in love easily. Obviously Bree would be attracted to him. Obviously Chris would be no competition for a guy like Cal.

  Bree was so perfect. So was Cal. They would be awesome together. I felt like I was going to throw up.

  "Hmmrn," I murmured, my mind racing hysterically. I tried to take a sip from my empty mug. Cal and Bree. Cal and Bree.

  "You don't approve?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

  "Approve, disapprove, what does it matter?" I said, trying to hold my face in some normal position. "It just seems like he's gone out with a couple of different people already. And I

  think Raven's trying to get her claws into him, too. I don't

  want you to get hurt," I heard myself babbling.

  Bree smiled at me. "Don't worry about me. I think I can handle him. In tact, I want to handle him," she joked."AII over''

  The forced smile froze on my face."Well, good luck."

  "Thanks," Bree said. "I'll let you know what happens."

  "Uh-huh. Um, thanks for listening to me," I said, getting to my feet "I better get home. See you tomorrow."

  I walked out of Bree's room, her house, stiffly and carefully, as if I were trying not to jostle a wound.

  I started Das Boot's engine, then realized that chilly tears were sliding down my cheeks. Bree and Cal! Oh God. I would never, ever be with him, and she would. It was a physical pain inside my chest and I cried all the way home.

  9. Thirsty

  >.<”Each of the Seven Houses has a name and a craft, An ordinary man has no hope against these witches: better to commend yourself to God than to engage in battle with the Seven Clans.”

  --The Seven Great Clans,

  Thomas Mack, 1845>.<

  Am I losing my mind? I'm changing, changing inside. My mind is expanded. I'm seeing in color now instead of black and white. My universe if moving outward at the speed of light. I'm scared.

  The next day I woke early after thrashing unhappily all night I'd had horribly vivid, realistic dreams, mostly featuring Cal—and Bree. I had kicked off my covers and was freezing now, so I grabbed them and burrowed under again, scared to go hack to sleep.

  Lying in bed, I watched my windows as they gradually grew lighter. I almost never saw this time of morning, and my parents were right: There was something magical about it. By six-thirty my parents were up. It was comforting to hear them moving in the kitchen, making coffee, shaking cereal into bowls. At seven Mary K. was in the shower.

  I lay on my side and thought about things. Common sense told me Bree had much more of a chance with Cal than I did. I had no chance. I wasn't in Cal's league, and Bree was. Did I want Bree to be happy? Could I sort of live vicariously through Bree if she went out with Cal?

  I groaned. How sick is that? I asked myself.

  Was I ok with Bree and Cal going out? No. I would rather eat rats. But if I wasn't okay with it and they did get together (and there was no reason to assume they wouldn't), then it would mean losing Bree's friendship. And probably looking pretty stupid.

  By the time my alarm went off for school, I had decided to perform the supreme sacrifice and never let Bree know how I felt about Cal, no matter what happened.

  "Some people are coming over to my house on Saturday

  night," Cal said. "I thought we could do a circle again. It's not a holiday or anything. But it'd be cool for us to get together!'

  He was hunkered down in front of me, one tanned knee showing through the rip in his faded jeans. My butt was cold as I sat on the school's concrete steps, waiting for the classroom to open up for the math club meeting. As if in recognition of Mabon, last week's autumnal equinox, the air had suddenly acquired a deeper chill.

  I let myself drift into his eyes."Oh" I said, mesmerized by the minute striations of gold and brown circling his pupils.

  On Tuesday, Bree had broken up with Chris, and he hadn't taken it well. By Wednesday, Bree was sitting next to Cal at lunch, showing up at school early to talk to him, hanging out with him as much as she could. According to her, they hadn't kissed yet or anything, but she had hopes. I usually didn't take her very long.

  I Now it was Thursday, and Cal was talking to me.

  "Please come," he said, and I felt like he was offering me something dangerous and forbidden. Other students walked past us in the thin afternoon light, glancing at us with curiosity.

  "Um," I said in that stunningly articulate way I have. The truth was, I was dying to do another circle, to explore Wicca in person instead of just reading about it. I felt thirsty for it in a way that was unfamiliar to me.

  On the other hand, if I went I would see Bree go after Cal, right in front of me. Which would be worse, seeing her do it or imagining her doing it?

  “Um, I guess I could,”I said.

  He smiled, and I literally, literally felt my heart flutter. "Don't sound so enthusiastic," he said. I watched in complete amazement as he picked up a strand of my hair that fell near my elbow and gently tugged on it I know there are no nerve endings in hair, but at that moment I felt some. A hot flush rose from my neck to my forehead. Oh, Jesus, what a dweeb I am, I thought helplessly.

  "I've been reading about Wicca," I blurted out to him. "I.
.. really like it"

  "Yeah?" he said.

  "Yeah. It just... feels right... in some way" I said, hesitating. "

  Really? I'm glad to hear you say that I was worried you would be scared off after the last circle" Cal settled next to me on the steps.

  "No" I said eagerly, not wanting the conversation to end. "I mean, I felt crappy afterward, but I felt... alive, too. k was... like a revelation for me." I glanced up at him."I can't explain it"

  "You don't have to," he said softly. "I know what you mean."

  "Are you—are you in a coven?"

  "Not anymore," he said. "I left it behind when we moved. I'm hoping that if some people here are into it, we could form a new one."

  I drew in a breath."You mean, we could just ... do that?"

  Have you ever seen a god laugh? It makes you catch your breath and feel hopeful and shivery and excited all at the

  same time. That's how it was watching Cal.

  "Well, not right away," he clarified with a smile. "Typically you have to study for a year and a day before you can ask to actually join a coven."

  "A year and a day," I repeated. "And then you're ... what? A witch? Or a warlock?" The names sounded overly dramatic, cartoony. I felt like we were conspirators, the way we were speaking softly, our heads bent toward each other. His silver pendant, which I now knew was a pentacle, a symbol of a witch's belief, dangled in the open vee of his shirt against his skin. Behind Cal, I saw Robbie enter the classroom where the math club was meeting. I would have to go in a minute.

  "A witch," Cal said easily. "Even for men."

  "Have you done that yet?" I asked. "Been initiated?" The words seemed to have a double meaning, and I prayed I wouldn't blush again.

  He nodded. “when I was fourteen.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. My mom presided. She's the high priestess of a coven, the Starlocket coven. So I had been studying and learning about it for years. Finally, when I was fourteen, I asked to do it. That was almost four years ago—I'll be eighteen next month.”