Crashing Waves

by L A Morgan

  Laurel sent Michael a smile of triumph. From the expression on his face, she finally realized he had been teasing her. She was about to make some scathing retort when the cars began to clank along the track. As they slowly climbed to the apex of the first hill, her enjoyment seemed to dim a bit. She squeezed her eyes tightly closed and nestled her head against Michael’s shoulder.

  “Put your arm around me and hold me tight!” she demanded.

  He smilingly complied. As they topped the rise and began their downward flight, Laurel screamed in fright and excited pleasure, regretting her bold impulse to sit in the first car. Michael held on to her tightly with one arm. With the other, he grasped the side of the car.

  The frantic pace of the ride did not permit any further conversation. Laurel screamed every time the cars plunged downward. By the time the experience came to an end, she was glad to disembark.

  “Let’s do it again!” Michael enthusiastically suggested.

  “You can do it by yourself, if you like!” Laurel replied with a scowl.

  He laughed at her dampened ardor, and they walked on to another part of the amusement park. In truth, Michael would not have minded taking another ride on the rollercoaster. He had thoroughly enjoyed the feeling of having Laurel snuggled against him for protection.

  As this thought played through his mind, he noticed they were approaching the Ferris wheel. Laurel was gazing up at this attraction’s colorful lights.

  “Is this ride too tame for you?” Michael asked.

  “Right now, I’ll appreciate that tameness.”

  After waiting on a short line, they entered one of the open cars. It rocked loosely with their movement, but settled down with the inertia of the ride. During their second rotation, the ride stopped in order to allow passengers to get off and new ones to enter. This left Laurel and Michael at the top of the wheel’s circuit.

  “Look at all of the lights you can see from up here!” Laurel declared.

  Michael peered over the side and said, “Look how far we are from the ground.”

  She instantly replied, “I can’t!”

  “Why not?”

  In embarrassment, Laurel admitted, “I’m afraid of heights.”

  “Not big, brave you, who insisted that we should go on the rollercoaster!”

  When Laurel nodded, Michael smiled and put his arm around her.

  “Don’t worry,” he said comfortingly. “I won’t let you fall.”

  She snuggled closer to him and looked warmly up into his sympathetic eyes. With his free hand, Michael lifted her chin until her mouth touched his. Their lips met in an ardent kiss.

  Laurel brought her hands around Michael’s neck and tenderly caressed his wavy hair. He responded by increasing the passion of his kisses, which he now rained upon her dreamily upturned face. They were startled out of their dream-world by the sudden recommencement of the ride.

  Michael stroked an errant wisp of hair from Laurel’s face as he whispered, “I think we’ve enjoyed enough rides for one night.”

  Laurel breathlessly replied, “I agree.”

  “Would you like to go back to the motel now?”

  She nodded passionately. The ride ended and they left the amusement park. Outside of several meaningful glances, no communication was exchanged on the ride home.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  When they got out of the car, Laurel asked, “Did you have fun on the rides tonight?”

  Michael nodded his assent as he led her to his apartment. Once they were inside, Laurel began to feel very nervous. Michael did not bother to turn on the lights. He firmly closed the door and drew her into his arms. Instead of returning to the steamy passion they had experienced on the Ferris wheel, he now held her tenderly, lightly kissing her forehead, her eyelids, her cheeks, and finally her lips. Laurel responded for a moment and then suddenly pulled away.

  “Do you have any wine?” she asked, knowing that her question was out of place.

  “What’s the matter?” Michael whispered, frowning at her unexpected cooling.

  “I’m just a little jittery.”

  He looked at her for a moment before releasing her. Then he turned on the lights and got the wine from the refrigerator. Laurel watched as he took two glasses from the cabinet and poured the chardonnay.

  Handing a glass to Laurel, he asked, “Is everything all right?”

  “Well . . . yes,” Laurel uncomfortably replied.

  At a loss for words, she drank all of the wine without stopping. Michael watched her over the rim of his glass. Without asking, he refilled her glass. Laurel nodded her thanks. This time, she sipped her wine.

  Regarding her closely, Michael asked, “Is there something you would care to talk about, Laurel?”

  She looked at him gravely and murmured, “I’m afraid so.”

  “Would you like to sit on the balcony?”

  “Let’s do that.”

  They moved outside, and Michael closed the glass door behind them. At the same time, they both walked to the railing and looked at the sea. A moment later, he turned and put his glass on the table. Then he took Laurel’s and placed it beside his.

  It was a few moments before Laurel could speak. Still refusing to look at Michael, she gripped the railing, looking up at the stars. Michael leaned forward and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

  Laurel finally turned to him and said, “I’m sorry, Michael. There’s something that I should have told you sooner.”

  He grasped her arm and turned her to face him.

  “What could be so terrible?” he tenderly asked.

  Laurel shook her head and looked away, too shy to meet his questioning expression.

  Very softly, she replied, “I’ve never slept with a man before.”

  “Is that it?” Michael responded with a warm smile. “I thought you were going to tell me there’s someone else in your life.”

  “Oh, no, Michael,” Laurel assured him, “There’s never been anyone . . . before you.”

  The man drank deeply of the cool night breezes and sighed in happiness and relief. Life had not seemed so pure and fresh to him in many years. He caressed Laurel’s hair while he looked lovingly at her.

  Sweetly, he whispered, “I’m very glad to hear that.”

  “You are?”

  “Most definitely.”

  In surprise, Laurel said, “Being as old as you are, I thought you’d prefer a woman with experience.”

  “I’m not as old as you make me out to be, Laurel, and I’m not that experienced. I married my childhood sweetheart, and when I lost her, I didn’t go out with another woman until I met you.”

  “You’re not disappointed?”

  “Of course not! In fact, I’m very flattered.”

  “You don’t think I’m weird or anything? Most women, by the time they’re twenty-five, have . . . you know what I mean. I was afraid--”

  Michael silenced any further explanations by drawing Laurel into a gentle kiss. As their passion grew, Laurel’s doubts diminished, along with her inhibitions. The ardor of their rapture intensified. Michael drank deeply of the woman’s sweetness as his lips ravaged hers. Her hands caressed his shoulders and neck as she willingly gave in to the ecstasy of love. She had never dreamed that life could be so sweet.

  Lost within the realms of her passion, Laurel whispered, “I love you, Michael.”

  For a moment in time, their activity was suspended. Then the man’s muscles stiffened as he drew away from her. His breath came in ragged gasps. Surprised by his withdrawal, Laurel opened her eyes to look at him questioningly.

  “I’m sorry,” was all he could say at the moment.

  The pain in Michael’s eyes told Laurel more than his heaving chest or shattered expression ever could. Her emotions passed from disappointment to overwhelming sadness. The crashing of the waves became loud in her ears.

  Laurel backed away from him and turned to sit on a chair. She felt shaken and embarrassed over her admission of love. Hardly knowin
g where to look, she held back the tears that threatened to flood her eyes.

  Michael twisted his hands nervously as he stared at the floor. With an unsteady movement, he picked up his glass of wine and drank the remainder.

  After a minute, he said, “Things have gotten out of control between us. I never should have let that happen.”

  Laurel wanted to tell him that he was wrong, but she did not know how to express herself.

  When she did not reply, Michael sat down and continued, “I should have seen this coming. I’ve always suspected you’re not the kind of woman who would be content to have a casual relationship.”

  “It wasn’t your fault,” Laurel whispered, wiping away her tears. “Right from the start, you said you didn’t want a commitment, and I agreed to that.”

  “That’s true, but I didn’t restrain myself,” Michael stated with a look of regret. “It was so wonderful to take you out, to hold you in my arms and kiss you. I can’t believe that I acted so selfishly.”

  “You haven’t been selfish at all! You’ve only been generous and thoughtful!”

  “You don’t understand, Laurel. I did everything I could to make you love me without even realizing what I was doing. I had it set in my mind that this would just be a vacation fling, that we’d both get as much enjoyment out of it as possible, and then we’d go our separate ways. I blinded myself to the truth.”

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself. I had a part in this, too.”

  Michael shook his head in denial.

  “You’re a sweet and innocent woman. You told me you loved me, and you had every right to expect me to return that love, but I can’t. My heart still belongs to another woman. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget her.”

  “You don’t have to forget her!”

  “I know what you’re saying and, of course, you’re right. It’s just that I haven’t gotten over my grief yet. You’ve made me happier than I’ve been in a very long time. Thanks to you, I know I can be happy again. I’m eternally grateful to you for that, but I can’t let you believe I’m ready to commit myself to our relationship now. It would be a lie.”

  Laurel looked down and sniffed back her tears, unable to speak. Unseen, Michael reached out to her, trying to comfort her in some way.

  After a moment, he slowly lowered his arms and went on, “I’m too confused about the way I feel. I can’t trust myself, and I won’t jeopardize your happiness by allowing this to go any further. Can you understand that?”

  “It’s too late to try to protect me from feeling what I do,” Laurel replied sadly. “If I respected you less, I might lie to you now, but that’s impossible.”

  Michael clenched his fists in an agony of emotion. He desperately wanted to make this situation right, but the turmoil of his thoughts clouded his thinking.

  When he regained his control, he said, “I’m not a nice person. If you hadn’t told me you loved me, I would have taken the precious gift you offered me without considering the damage I’d be doing. It would have been wrong. I never would have been able to forgive myself.”

  Laurel felt herself crumbling beneath the weight of his words. She refused to believe their truth, but her pain was very real.

  Wiping her eyes, she asked, “Don’t you care for me at all?”

  Michael turned to look down at her grief-stricken face. His expression held a wealth of tenderness and anguish.

  “You must know I care,” he softly replied. “Would I have stopped myself from making love to you if I didn’t care? That was one of the hardest things I ever had to do! I couldn’t cheapen what you feel by using you in that way. It would have been the worst kind of deceit, to love you with my body while my mind is filled with doubt. If you were another type of person, maybe it would have been okay, but you’re not and I’m not.

  “I care a lot about you, Laurel, but I can’t be sure if what I feel is real or just a reaction to my years of loneliness and sorrow. You deserve more than that. You deserve to have a man that can love you with his whole heart and mind, not someone who is constantly looking back over his shoulder at the past.”

  Turning away, Laurel wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. She saw the sense in what Michael had said, and yet, a hope still lingered that he would change his mind. There had to be something she could do or say that would lessen the staunchness of his attitude.

  Laurel stood up and walked to him. Kneeling by his side, she rested her arms on his lap. Michael sighed heavily and then stroked her hair.

  “What are we going to do?” Laurel asked in heart-felt anguish, gazing up at the face that had become so dear to her.

  “I don’t know,” he replied with a downcast frown.

  “I don’t want it to end tonight.”

  “Neither do I.”

  “At least we agree on that. If we can find some solution that would be agreeable to both of us, there’s still some hope that we can work this out.”

  “What would you suggest?”

  “Let’s go on seeing each other while we’re here in Myrtle Beach.”

  “I don’t know if that would be wise, Laurel. It might be best if I took the next plane home.”

  “You can’t do that!” Laurel asserted vehemently. “That wouldn’t be a solution at all! It would just ruin both of our vacations. Everything we had would be lost.”

  “It looks like there can be no happy compromise,” the man stated wearily. “I’ll hurt you if I leave, and I’ll hurt you if I stay. Who can say which would be worse?”

  “No one could predict that. The pain we feel is coming from our hearts, so that’s where we must look to find the answers. My heart tells me that I’d much rather have you stay here. It would give us more time to work things out. What does your heart tell you?”

  “I’m afraid I’m as emotional as you are, Laurel. I also want to stay.”

  “Good. Then it’s settled,” Laurel affirmed with brightening spirits. “You may have your regrets, but I’d never forgive myself if I drive you away from your first vacation in so many years.”

  “Don’t let that bother you. That’s the least of my problems.”

  “Then you’ll stay?”

  “I’m so confused about this. I can’t think logically and emotionally at the same time.”

  “Let me help you if I can, Michael. I promise I won’t talk to you about love any more. I’ll expect nothing from you, and I have nothing to hold against you. You’ve been honest with me and I respect that.”

  “There’s a chance we might get carried away again.”

  “We’re both adults. We know the risks involved here. When the time comes, we’ll do what we have to do.”

  Michael smiled wanly at this.

  He said, “I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have. You can’t imagine how terrible I feel about all of this. I can’t ask you to sacrifice your feelings for me any more than you have.”

  “It won’t be a sacrifice, Michael,” Laurel assured him fervently.

  The man’s expression was sad as he caressed her delicately molded features. Taking his hand in hers, Laurel held it warmly against her cheek.

  In a pleading voice, she said, “Please tell me you’ll stay.”

  Her knees had begun to hurt from kneeling in one position for so long, but she held herself tense and motionless as she waited to hear the answer to this most important question. Michael looked deeply into her eyes, searching his soul for the right answer.

  At last, he replied, “I don’t know if it’s going to do either of us any good, but I’ll stay. If I left now, it would be too much like running away.”

  Laurel released the breath she had been holding and sat back on her heels. Still holding Michael’s hand, she brought it to her lips and tenderly kissed his fingers. He felt his heart leap at this token of affection. Memories of their recent passion were fresh in his mind. It would not be easy to restrain his desire for this woman.

  “You’re a very special person, Laurel,” he said w
ith a fond smile. “Not many women would have forgiven me.”

  “Oh, Michael,” Laurel whispered in a sigh.

  The tenderness of the moment was interrupted by a strident female voice, saying, “Oh, there you are, Michael! Is this a bad moment?”

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “Kitty!” Michael exclaimed in surprise.

  Laurel quickly got to her feet, embarrassed at being caught in such an intimate position. She looked at Michael questioningly.

  Understanding her confusion, Michael quickly said, “This is my sister, Kitty. I mentioned her to you. Remember?”

  “Of course,” Laurel replied, turning to look at the woman that was standing beneath Michael’s balcony.

  In the darkness, it was difficult to make out her features. Michael stood up beside Laurel. He showed no sign of pleasure at seeing his only sibling.

  “What are you doing here, Kitty?” he demanded.

  “It’s nice to see you, too,” Kitty replied flippantly.

  “How did you find out where I was?”

  “I called your office and your secretary told me. My plane got in about an hour ago. I tried to call you from the airport, but I didn’t get any answer. For the last five minutes, I have been knocking at your door. I thought you were out, so I decided to wait by the pool. I had no idea that you would be . . . involved out here.”

  Kitty gave Laurel a crisp look before returning her gaze to her brother. He sent her a stern look.

  With a wry smile, Kitty asked, “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?”

  Michael frowned and said, “This is Laurel Nelson.”

  “How do you do,” Kitty stated firmly, extending her hand through the balcony railing.

  Laurel awkwardly leaned over and returned her handshake, saying, “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  “But not at this moment, I suppose,” Kitty replied with a confidential wink.

  Michael gritted his teeth when he saw this. Laurel blushed. Kitty was exactly how she had imagined her to be.

  After a brief silence, Kitty said, “Well, are you going to ask me to join you or would you like me to get lost until tomorrow?”