Maman! magazine, 42, 50, 55
maman-taxi, xix, 145
Manger (Fischler and Masson), 212
Man Who Ate Everything, The (Steingarten), 208–9
Marbeau, Jean-Baptiste-Firmin, 100–102
Marcelli, Daniel, 238–39, 240–41
marital relationship, 347–52
acceptance of inequalities, 193–95, 349–50
adult time, 9, 189–90, 196, 225, 351
baby-clash, 348–49
bedroom as castle, 348
cocooning period after birth of baby, 187–89
date nights, 183–84, 190, 351
decrease in satisfaction in, 270
feminine mystique, 27, 123, 278, 351
impact of concerted cultivation on, 183–85
sex, 26–27, 185–87, 278
sexiness and shedding of baby weight, 126–27, 341
sleeplessness and exhaustion, 179–80, 181, 182
women’s anger and resentment, 191–93, 349–50
Masson, Estelle, 212
maternelle (preschool), xix, 152–55, 158
meals, 302–8
acquiring taste for new foods, 203–5, 207, 208–10, 286–87, 299, 303–4
adult schedule, 58–59, 77–78, 218
balance, 211, 218, 307
cooking and baking, 65–66, 210, 301, 323
courses, 67, 113–14, 211, 217–18, 302, 322
crèche dining experience, 113–14, 205–8, 231–32
dining as family, 210–12, 301, 302
discussions about food, 114, 205, 210, 306
enforcement of rules, 231–32
gourmand/e, xix, 219
hunger at mealtime, 66, 218
infant feeding schedules, 52–53, 54–55, 58, 285–86
kids’ menus, 200–202, 299
portion size in, 304
during pregnancy, 20–21, 27, 29–30, 276–77
snacks, goûter, xix, 59, 66–67, 201, 300, 307, 322
sweets, 214–17
tasting rule for, 303
variety in, 305–6
visual appeal, 206, 207, 219, 305–6
Merle, Sandra, 206
Merryman, Ashley, 256–57
Message support group, 30–31, 122
Mischel, Walter, 59–61, 62, 64, 69, 74
Mogel, Wendy, 247
moment privilégiés, 316
Montessori, 271
Mother and Infant Protection service (PMI), 102, 125, 179
narrated play, 140–42, 315
National Sleep Foundation, 39
Neuf Mois magazine, 25, 26
nighttime waking. See sleep
n’importe quoi, xx, 70–72
“no,” 73–76, 222–23, 242–43
nursing. See breastfeeding
NurtureShock (Bronson and Merryman), 256–57
observation of baby’s sleep cycles, 44, 47–51, 52
Ollivier, Debra, 165, 193
Pailhas, Géraldine, 132–33
parenting style:
authoritarian model, 88–89
choice of philosophy, 8, 19, 25, 270
competitive parenting, 6, 82, 85, 141–44
concerted cultivation, 142–44, 183
in crèche, 111–13
équilibre, xix, 149, 339
maman-taxi, xix, 145, 342
narrated play and intensive supervision, 140–42, 315
opposition to limits, 227–28
overprotection, 6, 247, 252
permissiveness, n’importe quoi, xx, 70–72
praise, 253–58, 333–34
sensitivity to needs of child, 69, 117
strictness, 236–37
trust and respect for children, 249–50
Parents magazine, 96
parent time (adult time), 9, 189–90, 196, 225
patience, 319–25
attend command, xvii, 62
baking projects, 65–66
benefits of frustration, 55, 73–74, 77, 271
calmness and resilience, 61
child’s capacity to learn, 76, 321
for child’s own enjoyment, 62–63
coping with frustration, 63–64, 75, 212–13, 319, 323
family’s daily rituals, 58–59, 66–67
interrupting and, 321–22
learning in crèche, 112
learning through cadre, 232
modeling of, 68
practice and skill-building, 64–68, 320
saving treats, 66–67
self-distraction, 64, 73–74, 319–20
solitary play, 68–69
tantrums, 324
See also self-control
The Pause, 47–51, 52, 53, 56, 292–93, 295
pear and banana puree, 371
perfection as mother, 133, 147–50
perineal reeducation, 185–87
permissiveness, n’importe quoi, xx, 70–72
Pernoud, Laurence, 204–5
Piaget, Jean, 81–82
play:
exploratory, 314
narrated, 140–42, 315
solitary, 55, 68–69, 85, 146–47, 314
Pleux, Didier, 74
PMI (Mother and Infant Protection service), 102, 125, 179
pomme au four à la cannelle, 372
potage complet lentilles, 366–67
Pradel, Jacques, 90, 95
praise, 246, 253–58, 333–34
pregnancy, 275–79
anxiety over, 18–22, 276
eating during, 20–21, 27, 29–30, 276–77
fertility treatments, 170–73
pleasure during, 25–27
weight gain, 21, 28–30, 277
weight loss following, 126–30, 341
preschool, xix, 105, 152–55, 158
punishment, 242, 360
purée de poire at banane, 371
rapporter, xx, 251–52
rational understanding:
in building cadre, 230–32
children’s capacity for, 43–44, 54, 90–98, 111, 154–55, 271, 283–84
complicité, xviii, 234, 239–42, 284
in discussions about food, 114, 205, 210, 306
language of rights, 112, 231, 357
reading, 312
relation fusionnelle, 148–49, 347
relationship, marital. See marital relationship
respect:
of adult for child, 92, 95, 112, 240–41, 248, 259
complicity with child, xviii, 234, 239–42, 284
greetings and magic words, xvii, 156–60, 285, 313
for needs of others, 43–44, 56, 76, 158, 189–90, 230
rights, 112, 231, 357
restaurants, 308
risk, 333
Rousseau, Jean-Jacques, 83–84, 86, 88, 243, 355
rules. See boundaries and limits; cadre
sage, xx, 62–63, 73–74, 88–89, 308
salmon creole, 367–68
saumon à la créole, 367–68
“secret garden,” 335
self-control:
doucement, xviii, 96–97
sage, xx, 62–63, 73–74, 88–89, 308
See also patience
self-distraction:
coping with frustration, 64, 73–74
solitary play, 55, 68–69, 146–47
self-esteem, 246, 253–58, 333
self-expression, 72–73, 226–27
self-reliance. See autonomy
sex, 348
perineal reeducation, 185–87
during pregnancy, 22, 26–27, 278
shouting at child, 222, 235
sibling rivalry, 332
sleep:
adaptation to family’s needs, 43–44, 56
child’s capacity to learn, 54–55, 56
child’s frustration and self reliance, 44–45, 47, 55–56
consequences of childhood insomnia, 53
cycles and rhythms, 44, 48, 50–51, 291–92
enforcement of bedtime rules, 189, 225, 237–38, 351
nighttime feeding, 52–53, 54–55
norms and expectations, 38–40, 41–42
parents’ lack of, 179–80, 181, 182
The Pause, 47–51, 52, 53, 56, 292–93, 295
scientific findings on, 51–53, 291–92
sleep training, crying it out, 40–41, 53–54, 56, 291, 293, 295
sommeil agité, 50
sommeil paradoxal, 45
talking to child about, 54, 225, 293–94
teaching of, 51–52, 293–95
Sleep, Dreams and the Child (Thirion and Challamel), 42, 44–45, 50, 55
snacks:
chocolat chaud recipe, 220
chocolate, 216–17, 300, 307–8
gâteau au yaourt recipe, 79
goûter, definition, xix, 300
official time for, 59, 66, 300
saving treats for, 66–67
throughout day, 201
social development:
appropriate use of curse words, 168–69, 331
bilingualism, 161–64
in day care, 103, 105, 107–8, 314
dealings with other children, 250–52, 314
in école maternelle, 152–54
greetings and magic words, xvii, 156–60, 285, 313
moral messages, 164–66
national and religious cultures, 166–68
respect for needs of others, 43–44, 56, 76, 158, 189–90, 230
solitary activity, 55, 68–69, 85, 146–47
sommeil agité, 50
sommeil paradoxal, 45
spanking, 242
Spock, Benjamin, 93–94, 188–89
stay-at-home mothers, 117, 131–32, 139, 144
Steingarten, Jeffrey, 208–9
strictness, 236–37
Suizzo, Marie-Anne, 188
sweets, 214–17
talking with child. See rational understanding
tantrums, 324
tattling, rapporter, xx, 251–52
“teacups,” 271
Thompson, Caroline, 76–77
tomato coulis, 369–70
Turkle, Sherry, 93
U.S. Department of Defense child development centers, 105–6
vacations without parents, xviii, 245–46, 248–49
Vaillant, Maryse, 89
velouté d’artichaut à la crème, 364
Votre Enfant (Your Child):
on child’s meals and mealtimes, 58, 77, 211
on child’s use of bad words, 169
on parents’ rights and pleasures, 78, 190
waiting. See patience
Warner, Judith, 6
water, 305
What French Women Know (Ollivier), 193
What to Expect: The Toddler Years (Eisenberg, Murkoff, and Hathaway), 201
What to Expect When You’re Expecting (Murkoff, Eisenberg, and Hathaway), 20, 21, 22
White, Edmund, 17
Wierink, Marie, 107
work, return to:
baby’s sleep pattern and, 43–44
équilibre, xix, 149
financial security and status, 138–39
government support of, 138, 155, 194
guilt over, 148
health of mother and child, 148–49
maintenance of career, 137–38, 149
yogurt cake, 66, 79
Your Child (Votre Enfant):
on child’s meals and mealtimes, 58, 77, 211
on child’s use of bad words, 169
on parents’ rights and pleasures, 78, 190
zucchini flan, 368–69
* When you get to know your baby’s cries better, you might come to recognize his get-me-out-of-this-wet-diaper cry. When you hear that one, you don’t need to pause—just change him.
* In an article in a French parenting magazine titled “He’s Going Away Without You, It’s Good for Him!”
Looking for more?
Visit Penguin.com for more about this author and a complete list of their books.
Discover your next great read!
Bringing Up Bébé Page 37
