A Real Pickle

by Jessica Beck

  “That’s good news then, isn’t it?” I asked.

  “It doesn’t matter to me where I stay one way or the other, to be honest with you,” Jeffrey said.

  “Can Moose hang around for this conversation, too?” I asked. “I don’t have any secrets from my grandfather, or any of my family, for that matter.”

  “As a matter of fact, I need him to stay. He’s a part of this, too,” Jeffrey said as he waved an envelope in the air. “Is there somewhere more private that we can talk?”

  “Why not over there?” I asked as I pointed to a booth in the corner. The diner had only a few customers at the moment, but that didn’t mean that I could just leave my post.

  “It should do just fine,” he said.

  As we walked to the booth, my grandfather asked casually, “Jeffrey, were you ever a cop, or maybe in the military, before you became a chauffeur?”

  Jeffrey stopped and looked carefully at my grandfather before he spoke. “What makes you ask me that?”

  “I know it was one or the other,” Moose said with much more confidence in his guess than I would have ever been able to muster.

  “Neither one, actually,” Jeffrey said with a slight grin. “But I’ve been taking karate and other self-defense classes nearly all my life, so I know how to handle myself in just about any situation.”

  “So then, you were more than just a chauffeur.”

  Jeffrey shrugged. “Let’s just say that Curtis was pleased with my particular skill-set. Does that answer your question?”

  “It does,” Moose said.

  “Now, what do you need from us?” I asked the chauffeur once we were all seated.

  “It’s not for me,” Jeffrey said. “I’ve got something for you both from Curtis.”

  I was shocked by the news. “Did he actually leave us something in his will?”

  “I’m afraid it’s nothing as straightforward as that,” Jeffrey said. “To my surprise, it turns out that I’m his executor, so if you do inherit something from him, that will all come later. This was in a bigger envelope marked URGENT, OPEN IN CASE OF MY DEATH, and I have to admit that I’ve been curious about it since it came into my hands. I found the packet last week in my room, and I asked him about it. All Curtis would tell me was that when the time was right, I’d know what to do with the letters inside, so that’s why I’m here.”

  “Would you mind explaining what you mean by that?” I asked.

  “There’s no need. Curtis did that himself. You both need to read this. Take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

  Chapter 3

  Jeffrey opened the envelope and pulled out two single sheets of paper. I thought it might be something long, but it was actually two copies of the same document. Moose got one, and I got the other one.

  To Moose and Victoria,

  We haven’t known each other very long, but what is time when we weigh friendships? We three have common spirits, a thirst for knowledge and a desire to see things made right. I need you both to do something for me, and I beg you to take me up on my offer.

  You see, if you’re reading this, I’ve been murdered. What a surprising turn of events! I expected cancer to rob me of my life, but it appears that someone has been a tad impatient waiting on the disease that has stolen so much from me already.

  I know why I’ve been murdered, or at least I suspect I know. You see, I’m in the process of changing my will, and it appears that one of my heirs didn’t like the changes I was about to implement. You might think it simple for me to make the changes I sought, but I’m afraid that it’s much more complicated than that on the scale of my amassed wealth.

  There are several people who would benefit from me dying early, I’m sad to say. These include: my sister, Charlotte Trane; my niece, Sarah Harper; and my nephew, Tristan Wellborne. Chris Crane, my business manager, must also be a candidate, as he’s been acting suspiciously around me lately. I can’t prove anything, though, so I’m hesitant to act just yet.

  I realize that it’s not much to go on, but it’s all that I’ve got for you.

  I hate funerals. I always have, and the prospect of having something morbid held for my sake repels me beyond explanation, but I’m afraid that it’s the only avenue I have to offer you both further assistance. I’m sure that Jeffrey will be shocked to learn of my plans for a memorial service, but once he reads this, I hope that he understands the necessity of it.

  Victoria and Moose, I know of your past successes in solving murder, and I need you to solve mine. It is a dying request, one that I hope you won’t refuse.

  You are cordially invited to my home for the next three days and two nights in Laurel Landing to bring my killer to justice. Rooms have been set aside for you, and I ask that you leave immediately and return to my home with Jeffrey. He’ll stop long enough for each of you to pack a bag, but then I ask that you stay until you find my killer, or until the final service is held, whichever comes first.

  I understand this will put your diner under some hardship, so I’ve instructed my bank to transfer more than sufficient funds into your account to make up for any potential income you’re about to lose.

  Of course you can choose to ignore my last request, keep the money or give it back, but I have high hopes that you’ll respect my last wishes.

  I wish you good luck, and happy hunting!

  Your friend,

  Curtis

  I read it twice before I spoke. Moose was patiently waiting for me to finish it again. Jeffrey just sat there, not giving anything away.

  “Is this on the level?” I asked.

  “I’ve received my instructions,” he said. “You should also know that I’m staying on at the house now at least until after the services, so I’ll be in my little apartment over the garage. Your accommodations will be a bit nicer.” He said the last part with the ghost of a smile, and I wondered if it was some kind of private joke that he’d shared with his late employer and friend. “So, what do you think? I know that it’s asking a lot of you, but I hope you’ll do it. Curtis was quite impressed when he learned that you had both solved murder cases before.”

  “How did he hear about them?” I asked him.

  “Victoria, I shouldn’t have to tell you that this is a small town, and my employer liked talking to people. More than one resident of Jasper Fork regaled him with stories of your past victories over crime.”

  “We’ve had a few successes,” Moose acknowledged, “but that doesn’t mean that we’ll necessarily be able to figure out what happened to him. I wasn’t even at the diner when he was murdered.”

  “I was there, but I might as well have been someplace else,” I said. “I still can’t believe that someone killed him right in front of a room full of diners, including me.”

  “Will you do it, then?”

  “I have a question,” I asked. “The letter mentioned payment for closing the diner. Is that a requirement for our help?”

  “What do you mean?” Jeffrey asked.

  “She’s wondering if we can still keep the place open even if we go,” Moose said, and then he looked at me. “That’s what you want to know, right?”

  “I just keep thinking that if we get Martha to cover for me most of the time and ask the girls to extend their normal shifts, they should all be able to function just fine without me for three days.”

  “You’re not as easy to replace as you might think,” Moose said, “but you make a valid point. We could even get Stephanie in to run the register so Martha doesn’t feel the full weight of replacing you on her shoulders.”

  Stephanie Black had worked for my grandfather for a while when he’d been running The Charming Moose, but that had been several years ago. “Do you think she’d do it? I know that she quit quite suddenly.”

  “She eloped with Nathan Black and hung me out to dry,” Moose said with a smile. “But Nathan’s gone, and I know for a fact that Stephanie is looking for some part-time work.”

  “She didn’t approach you for a job at
the diner, did she?” I asked.

  Moose held both hands up, as if he were trying to defend himself. “It’s nothing like that, Victoria. She knows who’s running the place now.”

  “Good,” I said. I wasn’t too keen about having any of Moose’s former employees going to him for a job at my diner. I knew that it was still the family business, but I was the head of it now.

  “Should I call her for you?” Moose asked.

  “Not so fast.” I turned to Jeffrey. “How long do we have to decide?”

  He shrugged. “You should take your time. I’m thinking five minutes, how about you?”

  “Could we have an hour?” I asked.

  “In all seriousness, if we’re at the house in forty-five minutes, we should be fine. It takes thirty to get there, but I can make it in twenty. That gives you twenty-five minutes to decide and pack enough clothes to hold you.”

  “We can do that,” I said. “Moose, call Martha and tell her that we need her here, and then call my mother and tell her the same thing.”

  “What are you going to do while I’m doing that?” he asked me.

  “I’m going to run our last three customers out, lock the doors, and then I’m going to have a long chat with my husband.”

  “What about Stephanie?” Moose asked me.

  I shook my head. “If we don’t all agree on this, there won’t even be any need to call her,” I said. “You’d better scoot.”

  He grabbed his cellphone as I told Jeffrey, “You’re welcome to stay, but things are going to be crazy around here for the next little while.”

  The chauffeur glanced at his watch. “There’s something I need to do myself. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.”

  “Jeffrey, I’ll need a little more time than that,” I said.

  “Then I’ll wait in the car. Victoria, I hope you do this. It was important to Curtis, so that makes it important to me.”

  “We’ll talk again soon,” I said as I showed him out. I had a hunch that he wouldn’t be able to keep Moose and me away from that house with a court order, but I’d meant what I’d said. We all had to agree, or we weren’t going to do it.

  “Greg, we need to talk,” I said as I walked back into the kitchen.

  He tensed up immediately. “That is never something a man wants to hear from the woman he loves, Victoria. Whatever I did, I can fix it. Just give me another chance.”

  “There’s nothing wrong, you big goof,” I said as I kissed his cheek.

  “Good. What’s up?”

  “I’m going away for three days,” I said.

  “Okay, now I’m worried again,” he said. “Unless I’m coming with you.”

  “Sorry, but Moose and I were the only ones who were invited.” I brought him up to date about Curtis’s letter.

  He began nodding immediately. “Of course! You need to do this, but there’s no reason to shut the place down. We can make it without you for three days, as hard as it might be.” He’d added the last bit when he’d seen my frown start to form. Nobody liked to hear that they could easily be replaced, and I was no exception, especially since I was supposed to be the one in charge. “It might take its toll on Martha, though. Is there anybody else we can get in on a temporary basis?”

  “Moose suggested we call Stephanie Black,” I said.

  “She’ll do,” he said.

  “But not as good as I would, right?”

  “Right. Victoria, do you feel safe staying out there with a killer?”

  “I hadn’t really thought about it,” I admitted. “Moose will be with me. I’m sure that we’ll both be fine.”

  “Just watch your step, and keep your eyes open.”

  “I plan to,” I said as I kissed him again. “Thanks for worrying about me.”

  “Hey, don’t thank me. It’s what I do,” he said.

  Moose came into the back with a grin. “Martha’s on her way, but I told her about the offer, and she’s all for it. Your mother is in favor of it, too, by the way. If Greg agrees, then it’s unanimous.”

  “It is,” I said. “Go ahead and call Stephanie.”

  “That’s not going to happen,” Moose said.

  “Why not?”

  He handed me a phone number. “You’re the one in charge. If you want her, you call her.”

  I felt a little bad about my earlier snit. “I don’t mind, Moose. It’s okay.”

  “You might as well take the number, Victoria. Where do you think you got that stubborn streak you’re so proud of?” Moose asked me.

  “I’m not stubborn,” I said, and I watched as both men fought the grins that were struggling to free themselves. “I like to think of myself as a woman who knows her own mind.”

  “You do that, all right,” Moose said.

  Greg grinned broadly as he nodded. “I couldn’t have put it better myself.”

  I smiled at both of them. “It’s a good thing that I love both of you lunks as much as I do. Call her, Moose; you know her a lot better than I do. Just remind her that you’re calling on my behalf.”

  “I can do that. What kind of hours would you like her to work?”

  I thought about my current schedule, and then I told him, “If she can come in from six a.m. until two, then Martha can work two until we close.”

  “I’ll do it,” Moose said. He glanced at his watch, and then my grandfather said, “I hate to rush you, but we’ve got eleven minutes until we have to start packing.”

  “They’ll be here in time,” I said. Though my mother and grandmother had both given their approval to the plan, I still wanted to hear it from them in person. I was asking a favor from them, so I wanted to do it face to face.

  They agreed in person when they got to the diner, and Stephanie jumped at the chance to come back to The Charming Moose, even if it was based on just three days’ work. If she did okay, I might put her on part-time. Greg and I had been dying to get away for quite some time, and if I could trust Stephanie and Martha to work the front and put Moose on the grill instead of Greg, we might actually have a chance to experience a real vacation. The money Curtis was depositing couldn’t go for anything better, as far as I was concerned.

  There was a tap at the front door, and I opened it for Jeffrey. “What’s your decision?” he asked.

  “We’ll do it,” I said. “Moose, are you coming?” I called out.

  “Try to go without me,” my grandfather said as he came bustling out of the kitchen.

  The relief on Jeffrey’s face was clear. “I’m so glad that you both decided to help.”

  “We didn’t know Curtis as well or for as long as you did, but he was our friend, too,” I said.

  “He felt the same way about the two of you.”

  It felt odd riding in the back of a limousine to my house, but I might be able to learn to live with such luxury. “What should we bring with us?” I asked as I looked down at my blue jeans and old T-shirt.

  “They’ve all been warned that you are both eccentric in your clothing choices,” Jeffrey said. “You’ll need something black for the service, but the rest of time, wear whatever you’d like to. Curtis liked to dress casually, so no one will be surprised by your informal style.”

  I took his advice and packed a quick bag, but Moose was even faster when we got to his place. While Jeffrey and I were waiting in the limo, I asked him, “What do you think about that letter we got? I’m assuming that you read it, too.”

  “If you’re asking me if Curtis was just being paranoid, I believe the stabbing should answer that question, don’t you?”

  “I wasn’t doubting that he had a right to be suspicious,” I said. “I was just wondering what you thought about his list of suspects.”

  Jeffrey frowned. “Whoever killed him is on that list. I’d swear to it.”

  “Do you know them very well?”

  He just shrugged. “Just from what I’ve seen from a servant’s point of view.”

  “Is it really all that different from everyone else’s?” I ask
ed.

  “You have no idea. These people have had money forever, and for the most part, they aren’t afraid to show it. Curtis was the rare exception. He never treated me as though I was anything but a friend.”

  “And the rest of them?”

  “Let’s just say that I’ve never gotten used to being treated like a piece of furniture,” he said.

  “That’s terrible,” I said.

  “Hey, it wasn’t all bad. I got to hang out with a genuinely nice man and help make the last bit of his life a little easier. There are worse things to do with yourself than that, don’t you think?”

  “A great many of them,” I said. “How are they going to feel about Moose and me barging in on their grief?”

  “I doubt that any of them are grieving all that much, but Curtis took care of that. He told them last week that you were his friends and that he’d invited you to stay at the house. I was there when he told them, and trust me, nobody’s going to say anything about your presence, at least not to your faces.”

  “They can whisper behind their backs all that they want,” I said with a smile. “It won’t be the first time that it’s happened to me, and I’m sure that it won’t be the last.”

  Moose came out with a battered old leather overnight bag. Jeffrey got out to take it from him, but my grandfather said, “My arms aren’t broken. Pop the trunk and I’ll throw it in myself.”

  Jeffrey smiled. “As much as I appreciate the offer, you might as well get used to being waited on.”

  “Not a chance, buster,” Moose said.

  Jeffrey shrugged, and then he did as Moose asked. My grandfather put his bag in the trunk beside mine, and then he slammed the lid for emphasis.

  “Home, Jeffrey,” he said as he slid into the backseat beside me. He was in a remarkably good mood for a man about to go in search of a killer.

  “Buckle up,” Jeffrey said.

  As we drove to Laurel Landing, I asked my grandfather, “How do you want to play this when we get there?”

  “We’re friends who’ve come to stay and pay our respects,” Moose said. “Jeffrey told me while you were packing that Curtis has already set it up. When we get there, I suggest that we split up and start asking questions as delicately as we can manage it.”