Tethered (J + P series)

by D. A. Roach

  I opened the door to my room and did not expect what I saw. One half of the room was stripped clean. No posters, no comforter on my roommate's bed, no books, no clothes. What the heck! I threw down my bags, looked for a note and found an envelope tucked under my covers.

  It's from Gabby:

  Perry,

  I should have called you instead of writing this, but I am kind of ashamed. I guess all my extracurricular activities with my guy friends distracted me from studying. I flunked out and won't be coming back. I wish it were different. Tons of luck and I loved rooming with you.

  Love,

  Gabby

  I was shocked. I had never heard of someone leaving mid-way through the year. I felt bad for Gabby. The same thing could happen to me (though it would be my parents pulling the plug and not the university). My next emotion was relief, no roommate meant I could stay up as late as I wanted and not worry about waking up my roommate. Gabby was hardly around before, but now I really could stretch out and not worry about someone else. My studying often brought late hours so it would be nice to not have to leave the room to study while someone else slept.

  I began unpacking. It was nice having clean clothes and some food to snack on again. I opened the bag of food my mom had packed and find three cans of tuna, plain cheerios, and water. Apparently she was hoping I would lose more weight before she had to see me again. Awesome. I put them away in the locker I had in my room and then put on some tunes, and relaxed in the bean bags under my loft. I let the warm sun filter through my window and warm me like a cat nestled in a patch of sunlight for a nap.

  KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

  I was jolted awake by someone knocking on the door. I staggered to the door and opened it.

  “NERD!” Jen. “Hey lady! Nice hair!”

  “Quit ragging' me. I must have fallen asleep in the beanbags. What time is it?” I asked.

  “5PM, let's go eat. I want to hear all about break.” she begged.

  “Fine. Hey, who all is back? Chuck is having a party tonight and invited us all.”

  “CHUCK?! As in 'You are beyond cool if you are invited to a party at Chuck's?'” she yelled in disbelief.

  “Um, I guess, for me it's more 'Chuck, who drives me home, needs more warm bodies at his party.'” I giggled.

  “Whatever dude, we are so there! We can tell the others at dinner.” she said.

  I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and followed Jen to the dining hall.

  As we came around the corner with our trays, we spied familiar faces. Mags, Tim, Lauren, Ian, and Greg were sitting and chatting. “Hey you guys! So good to see you. Did you have a good break?” I asked everyone.

  They all looked happy to see us too. We spent the next 45 minutes catching up on Christmas presents, crazy holiday gatherings, and the plan for the upcoming semester.

  Before we all departed, Greg pulled out an article from the local newspaper and shared it with me. “Hey Perry, Disgrace is playing the music hall here on campus next month! We should get tickets.”

  “Disgrace? Let me see.” Lauren apparently likes them as well as she snatched the paper for a look. They were a pretty big band and the tickets would sell out fast.

  “Absolutely. Looks like tickets go on sale next week. It says 'three tickets per buyer' and it's a lottery system. That kinda sucks.” I remarked.

  “So, maybe we get everyone to try and get tickets, but the ones with the best numbers buy for everyone.” Greg suggested. We all liked Greg's plan and everyone agreed to enter the lottery for a chance at tickets next week.

  We all put our trays away and headed out. Greg and I started chatting some more and were catching up on how our holidays were. Before I realized what had happened, I realized I mindlessly followed him to his room.

  “Did you do OK with grades? I know you were worrying about them.” he inquired as he unlocked his door.

  “Yeah, not too bad. I need to try and kick it into gear this semester though. How about you?” I asked.

  “A's and B's, no biggie. Hey, whatcha' doin' tonight?” he asked as we both sat in the ancient cozy chairs in his room.

  “Crap! I totally forgot to tell everyone. Do you know that guy Chuck who drives me home?” I asked.

  “I have never met him but I heard he has killer parties, why?”

  “Because my friends and I have officially been invited to one of his infamous parties TONIGHT.” I beamed.

  “Rock on Perry! I'm in. When do we leave?”

  “8:30. Meet me at the front doors. Is Jared due back by tonight?” I inquired, not that I was too anxious to see him, I just wondered if I needed to extend the invite to him as well.

  “Hell if I know, and I could really care less.” he said under his breath. Odd comment. I wondered if they had a fallout, or maybe it's nothing. “I'll be there.”

  Greg was so laid back and easy to talk to, no weirdness between us. I forget how much I missed hanging out in this room with him and Jared. “God, it's been too long since I hung out like this.”

  “Yeah, why is that?” he asked.

  “I don't know, you and Jared have been hanging out with those two girls. Are you guys dating them now or something?” I couldn't help myself.

  “Who? Anna and Danielle? No, apparently Jared and I had eyes for the same girl. I was making my move but must have been too slow because before I knew it – Jared and Anna had kissed. Guess that's why I am a little pissed at him right now. He knew how I felt. I thought I was obvious with the moves I was making but...he landed her first. Jerk.” Greg actually sounded annoyed with Jared.

  “When did this happen? And does this mean they are boyfriend/girlfriend now?” I had to know.

  “I don't know, like a week before we left for break. And...I don't know. I haven't talked to him since we left.” he replied. Why do I keep holding pieces of my heart reserved for Jared? Each time I heard something like this, one of those pieces would break.

  Greg noticed my silence and looked at me. “I know you like him Perry. We all know that.” My jaw fell to the ground and I was about to pass out at this confession. The room began wavering.

  “Whoa kiddo. No need to panic. If it makes you feel any better, I am pretty sure he is clueless about your feelings for him. Stupid dense head. EVERYONE knows, but him.” Greg may be right, he may not know. I have to hope this is true; I would be humiliated if he knew.

  “I keep trying not to like him Greg. But he flirts with me and then blows me off or goes with some random girl – it's such mixed signals that I love him one minute, and then he does something to make me hate him.”

  “Perry, take my advice – steer clear of him, I'd hate to see you get hurt.”

  I sighed, was Greg saying this because he was mad at Jared over the Anna situation or because Jared loves and leaves his girlfriends crying in the dust upon break-up. Could I survive the heartache that came with loving and losing someone? I hadn't experienced that pain yet and after seeing my friends endure it – I preferred to avoid as much pain as possible. Greg came over and gave me a bear hug. I needed to shake Jared out of my mind. Maybe a cute guy would be at Chuck's party, and maybe he would be more than just a pretty face. Tonight I would look stunning. Chuck's parties drew mostly upper class so the pool of guys would be more mature and hopefully less wild than the freshman went crazy at these parties because Mommy and Daddy were not watching.

  “I better get ready, so, see you later tonight?” I asked as I headed out the door.

  “You bet, I wouldn't miss it. Later.” he said before heading back into his room.

  On my trek back to the girl's side, I thought about my plan to eliminate Jared from my thoughts. It's tricky because I couldn't just avoid him, Greg was my friend and they were roommates. Jared was my friend too, but my mind and heart wanted more with him. Should I just cut him out 100%? Did I need to help him land a girlfriend so my intentions with him were purely friendly?

  I made it back to my room and saw Jen and Tara having an animated conversat
ion. “Hey girls, what's going on? Everything alright?”

  “Yeah, Tara finally broke up with her boyfriend.” Jen informed me.

  “What? You guys were dating for all of high school. What happened?” I asked.

  “We just decided we didn't want to spend the next 4 years dating and then get married without seeing what else was out there.” Tara replied. She truly looked fine with this, an amicable breakup. I, on the other hand, was in shock. They were so connected at the hip that I couldn't imagine them as separate entities. Also, this would probably mean Tara would hang around us more. I was not a huge fan of Tara. She was just a little bit different and I was not sure how her presence around our group would upset our balance.

  “Well you can join us at Chuck's party and man hunt there.” I suggested before I realized I was inviting her into our mix. I needed to learn to think before I spoke.

  “Sounds great! How about we all get ready together, maybe at 7 in our room?” she suggested. I nodded in agreement and retired to my solo room. I needed some down before the party so I put on MTV. As 7PM rolled around, I pulled out my shortest and tightest skirt, my black leggings, a fitted black v-neck, and a thick leather cuff for my wrist. I grabbed my makeup and hair stuff and knocked on Tara and Jen's door. They already had music playing and were putting on their outfits. Jen was dressing casual; she already had Edward and was not man-hunting tonight. He would not be back till tomorrow so she was ours until then. Tara was wearing fitted jeans and a soft fitted sweater. We all had our different looks but it worked for each of us. We took turns helping each other with makeup and fixing our hair. When we were satisfied with our looks, we grabbed our coats and went to the lobby. Everyone else was already there, the gang (minus Edward and Jared) departed for the party. It's a 20 minute walk across campus to Chuck's apartment.

  As we approached his building, we heard the music pumping through the speakers. I bet the cops would end up being called for the noise level at some point in the night. We knocked but no one heard us, so we let ourselves in. Chuck spied us from across the room and made a b-line for us. “Perry, hey sweetie! You made it.” He looked genuinely happy to see me and genuinely drunk.

  “Hey Chuck, thanks for inviting us. These are my friends.” I proceeded to introduce him to each of my friends and he welcomed them to his pad. Chuck then introduced me to his two roommates and showed me around the place. The front door was more like a revolving door. People were coming and going left and right. I wondered if Chuck knows all of these people or if they are strangers that had heard of the party. There were about 30 people in the apartment at all times. The apartment felt like a club with the lighting and tunes. People were dancing, huddled in corners making out, chatting on the patio, very club-like. No wonder his parties were notorious.

  My gang mingled about. They were all easy going people so they fit right in. I ended up off to the side talking with Greg. At first we quietly made fun of all the drunk people at the party. But then I couldn't help but ask him if I was too nauseatingly obvious with my feelings for Jared.

  “To those of us that are not oblivious?...A little. But to the oblivious like Jared, no. Listen, don't worry about it. But really – don't waste your time there kid. Find someone else. Any guys here look good to you?” he asked.

  I looked around and there was no one that caught my eye. I'd rather spend my time hanging with Greg than waste any time on any of the guys here. “None worthy of my affection.” I joked. He laughed and nudged me.

  “No worries, it's a big campus, lots of fish to pick from.” He was so optimistic.

  “What about you? How come you don't have a girlfriend?” I suddenly wondered and asked him.

  “Me? I can't escape my past. There's a girl back home that keeps calling me and visiting. But before you jump to conclusions, she is NOT my girlfriend AND I am not in love with her.” he told me.

  “What? What is she then?”

  “She is a friend that is a girl. We used to date and I think she hopes for more, but I don't see it going anywhere. I just have fun with her when she comes around.”

  “You're leading her on?” I asked appalled. I couldn't imagine Greg hurting a girl or being so callous.

  “Nope. I have told her many times that I only want friendship – nothing more. I wouldn't lead someone on Perry.” He stated as he sipped his drink.

  “Interesting.”

  Jen pulled me aside and began gushing over Edward and the present he got her for Christmas. She had it all, and she accomplished it all herself. She changed from bashful to outgoing and scored a good guy, was enjoying college, and was truly happy. Sometimes it's annoying to have to sit and listen to how perfect everything was for her when I had no man, a terribly hard curriculum that I was liking less and less, and an incredibly hard family life. I put on my best smile and threw out a bunch of “that's awesome, that's so great's”.

  Before I knew it, it was time to head home. The coats were in the back bedroom and I volunteered to retrieve them. In the room I was surprised to find Chuck's roommate sitting on the bed, with a gun to his head. I couldn't think. What was I looking at here? What should I do? What was his name?

  “Um, Kevin, that's your name right?” I managed to say.

  He slowly turned to face me, “Huh? Oh, it's you.” He remembered meeting me earlier. What had happened to him within the past 2 hours that had caused him to downward spiral to the scene before me?

  “What's going on? Are you OK?” clearly he was not but I could not think of anything worth saying besides that. He had tears on his cheeks and was clearly upset. He shook his head 'no' and put his head in his hands. He was still holding the gun and I decided I needed Chuck in here.

  “Kevin, let me get you some water and we'll talk about it. Can you just wait for me?” I begged. He nodded, surprisingly. I ran out of the room and grabbed Chuck. He was chatting with some bimbo that he probably planned to hook up with later. He would probably be pretty mad that I had interrupted his play on that chick, but this was important. “Chuck, you need to get in Kevin's room. He has a gun to his head and is SO not OK.”

  Chuck sobered up instantly and worry crossed his face. “Shit.” he bolted down the back hall toward the bedroom. I followed and watched him kneel in front of Kevin and began talking to him quietly. While he was distracted I grabbed all our coats and left. I did not want to be there if that gun went off. I threw each friend their coat and told them we were leaving immediately. On the walk home I let my friend's know about what I had saw. I made a mental note to ask Chuck about it the next day. Hopefully we would not be reading about Kevin's death in the school newspaper in the morning.

  Back at the dorm we all said goodnight and separated off to our rooms. I returned to my empty room. This was one of those moments when I regretted not having a roommate. I could use a friend to talk to right now. I got ready for bed and laid there thinking about Jared, Greg, and Kevin. What a mess. I needed to throw myself into my school work and forget about all the drama. That would end the ordeal with Jared, it would get me the best grades I could achieve, and hopefully I would earn a little respect from my parents. That was my plan. The peace of finally knowing what to do had allowed sleep to come in and take over.

  Chapter 19

  February

  After I ate breakfast/lunch on my own, I threw myself into my books. I didn't need to hear about social activities to distract me.

  That afternoon I studied until my brain was fried. Mags knocked at my door and invited me to join them for pizza. I agreed to join since I could not store anymore information in my brain tonight. Ian and Tim's welcomed us into their room. We sat around munching on pizza and drinking soda. It's a light-hearted good time that was much needed. “Tim, when are you gonna' let Mags know about our little affair?” I teased. Mags was dying laughing. She knew Tim and I were good friends and nothing more, but I enjoyed teasing Tim and Mags. They were an amazing couple that I hoped would get married one day.

  We said goodnight
to the boys and headed out the door. Greg and Jared's door was open and I waved at Greg. Jared was too engrossed in something on the computer to notice us. Greg came over to us, “What's up, you two causing trouble?” he said quietly.

  “Nope, just having pizza with Ian and Tim.” Mags replied.

  “Hey Perry, whatever happened with that guy at the party? Did you talk to Chuck?” Greg asked.

  “What guy from the party?” Jared asks as he stood up and walked toward us. He actually looked a little jealous. Did he think I hooked up with a guy?

  “Oh, Chuck calmed him down and put him to bed. Apparently he gets real moody when he drinks and he had too much last night.” I directed at Greg.

  “What are you talking about?” Jared asked. Greg rolled his eyes, which probably meant that he and Jared were not getting along.

  “We went to a party and one of Chuck's roommates put a gun to his head. Chuck calmed him down and all is fine.” I said in a dismissive tone.