Defiant Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  She walked to the cave entrance and found him standing there propped against the rock wall. He stepped up to meet her. To his great astonishment, she placed her arms around his neck to pull his head down to hers, and kissed him fully on the mouth. That kiss held some surprises for both of them.

  He felt the tremors in her body and the warmth of her closeness. Her sweet smell filled his senses as she pressed her slender body to his. For a moment, he was taken off guard by her unexpected actions and heated responses to him.

  He moaned huskily and pulled her into his full embrace. He returned the kiss with growing passion and longing. She pressed even closer to him and tightened her hold around his neck. Her kiss became more intense and demanding. He had to stop this before... he gently pushed her away and gazed into her passion-glazed eyes. He saw what he had waited and longed to see since the first day he had looked into those depths of green.

  She was telling him she wanted him as a man; she no longer feared him or his taking her; she wanted to belong to him completely; and she desired him to take her right here and now!

  It took every bit of willpower he possessed not to do as she begged with those tempting eyes of hers. To pull away from her was the hardest thing he had ever had to do in his entire life—and he would soon regret he had.

  Only one more moon, my love. Then I shall take you with a love and passion you have never known or felt before. Tomorrow night we will be joined and you will be mine forever.

  He smiled into her eyes and gently kissed her on her nose, forehead and cheek, then lightly brushed her lips. She had seen and felt how much he wanted her, but was telling her this was not the time and place for lovemaking. The glow in his black eyes and the smile on his sensuous lips told her he knew and understood what she had just told him without words. He knows what I mean. He received the message and will answer it in the best time and place. Until then, he knows...

  This time, they did not return immediately to the village. Instead, they walked along the rocky, protected path to the other side of the falls and out into the flower-filled meadow on the opposite bank. A light breeze played through the tall grasses and wildflowers, sending fragrant smells into the wind and their nostrils. Delicate, colorful butterflies and humming bees darted to and from the flowers gathering nectar. Alisha watched their flights with delight and wonder, while Mato Waditaka watched her.

  The sky had never looked bluer or clearer, with white clouds like drifts of snow. Alisha stooped to pluck a flower here and there as they strolled along. The meadow was an array of color and beauty filled with purple and yellow violets, black-eyed susans, goldenrods, blue-bells, primroses, and pasqueflowers. He soon stopped and pulled her down to sit beside him amidst the grasses and flowers.

  She watched his troubled, thoughtful looks from beneath lowered lashes, wondering what he fretted about. He seemed engrossed in some deep and perplexing matter. She was right.

  Mato Waditaka was trying to decide how to tell Alisha who she was and what was going to take place tomorrow, for it was time she knew. How could he explain his feelings for her and ask for her love in return? How could he tell her to forget Wanmdi Hota and all he did to her? If only there was not this language barrier, he , thought in exasperation. He must teach her his tongue as soon as possible. Evidently from the few words of Oglala she knew, Wanmdi Hota had not tried to teach her his tongue for she had been with him long enough to know more. She was quick and smart. He could tell this from how quickly she had picked up the few words and names he had told her. Why had Wanmdi Hota tried to keep her in silence? Did he think she was unworthy of speaking with him and his people? He has missed much in not working for her friendship. Brave Bear had learned already how warm and good it was to be with her.

  Alisha lightly touched his arm and asked in a concerned tone, “Mato Waditaka, is something wrong? Are you displeased with me for what I did?” She gazed into his warm eyes and knew she could not make him understand.

  Her concern and worry for his mood touched him and he wondered how he would ever be able to wait until tomorrow night to have her. Tomorrow seemed like winters away! She was surprised when he caught her shoulders and pushed her to the ground upon her back. He lay half on her body and half off. He propped up on his elbows, one on either side of her head and stared down into her face. His look was intent, but tender. He smiled. She revealed no fear or doubt in her lucid, green eyes.

  He did note the confusion and curiosity in her expression at his steady gaze. Here was what he had waited for all his life. Here was that special prize a man finds only once in his entire lifetime. He smiled into the depths of those green pools of magic and whispered, “Une hunwi...”

  He slowly leaned down until his lips made fiery contact with hers and kissed her hungrily. She made no move to pull away or resist, but held back emotionally. She did not want to become heated with desire and passion, for she did not know how to suppress it when it was not satisfied. Surely he did not mean to take her here and now out in the open. If she allowed herself to become engrossed in his kiss, she would be consumed with passion, then he would pull away to return to the village, leaving her hanging with her feelings unsated. She willingly accepted the kiss, but did not openly respond to it.

  A dark shadow loomed over them like a black, ominous storm cloud. Alisha looked up into the stony, cold face of Wanmdi Hota ...

  Their eyes met and locked, his in fury, hers in sheer terror. Her face went ashen and her eyes widened in disbelief. Her body froze and chilled even in the heat of the afternoon. Her nails unknowingly dug into the skin of Brave Bear’s back.

  Seeing the change in her mood and action, he lifted his head to gaze into her petrified face and panicked eyes which looked beyond him. His sixth sense of danger had been overpowered in the heat of the moment. But her fear had instantly brought it back. He knew the man was there before he looked. He bolted up and turned to face his enemy, his knife quickly in his grip.

  Alisha stared into the face whose only expression was the unconcealed fury which blazed in his coal eyes and the taut muscles in his jawline. His entire body strained in violence and anger. Alisha blanched even more and began to shake uncontrollably. Gray Eagle was not sure which alarmed him the most, her situation with Brave Bear, or the look on her ashen face.

  Brave Bear had been so consumed with passion and desire which had swept through his body like a fire out of control, he had made the worst error a warrior could ever make: he had dropped his guard. If this had been a true enemy, he would be lying dead in the meadow and she would have been taken as another’s captive. Gray Eagle was also very much aware of the effect his Lese was having on Brave Bear.

  Brave Bear was furious with himself for this brief lapse of training in alertness, for the timing of Gray Eagle’s arrival, and for the look on Alisha’s face. His eyes narrowed and his jaw grew taut as he glared at Gray Eagle. This was the man who had first taken what was to be his own. Gray Eagle had first known her and now he dared to come here and frighten her like this!

  Just yesterday Alisha had begun to relax and accept him and her new home. Her fears, hurts and suspicions were turning into acceptance and friendship. Would she think he had anything to do with Wanmdi Hota’s being here? He had seen how his gentleness and kindness had relieved and relaxed her. He had seen her reaching out to him as a man, of how she had hungered and thirsted for love, a smile, some tenderness and acceptance. He had given her these things and she had devoured them as a starving person would food and water.

  Today, she had radiated with new life and happiness. Now it was all shattered with Wanmdi Hota’s coming. He had reminded her of all the hate, cruelty and suffering she had been forced to endure at the hands of the Indian.

  They faced each other as foes, teeth clenched, eyes blazing fury and fire, bodies tight and tense for action, and their faces cold, gray masks of hatred. They were so intent on watching each other’s moves, they failed to notice Alisha’s head begin to nod from side to side in refusal of t
he meaning of his appearance here, nor did they see the quickened breathing from the parted, dry lips.

  She bolted up and slowly began to back away from the two angry braves. Her voice, almost inaudible, touched their ears as she muttered, “No ... no ... no... It can’t be! Not again...”

  Sheer terror gripped her heart and mind and she turned to flee. She ran as fast as she could toward the forest at the edge of the meadow. She did not hear the voices call to her, nor the feel of the grasses and wildflowers as they brushed against her legs. Her mind screamed, run, run, Alisha ... you must get away! You must hide where he can never find you! Don’t look back. Just keep running and running...

  Her heart pounded in her chest calling out, why is he here? Was this all some new game, a cruel taunt to disarm me? Is this why Mato Waditaka hasn’t touched me? Do I still belong to Wanmdi Hota? Is this my punishment, to see what it would be like to be accepted, to be loved completely? Was it only a cruel jest? Has he come to take me back with him... to Hell? I won’t go! I won’t go! I hate him, I hate we him... please, Mato Waditaka, do not let this happen! Let me belong to you!

  Her chest heaved. Her lungs burned and ached. Her throat was dry. Her legs began to cramp and stiffen as she realized it was hopeless to try and flee. With their power and stamina, they would easily overtake her anytime. What’s the use? But, she knew she must keep on running and trying. Make the axe come to you, Alisha! Don’t go to it willingly and foolishly.

  A strong arm snaked out and seized her, stopping her. Her first thought was, it is Wanmdi Hota. She spun around and began to fight blindly like a cornered wildcat, kicking, biting, and scratching. Two, powerful hands grabbed her forearms in a vise of steel and commanded her to stop.

  “Shaleel”

  Her face jerked up to see Brave Bear. She was breathless, staring up into his concerned, worried eyes. His expression touched her. She flung herself into his strong, tender embrace and cried hysterically. She clung to him like a drowning person to a lifebuoy.

  She begged, “Don’t let him take me, Mato Waditaka. No! Please... Shalee hiya ya! Shalee ku-wa Mato Waditaka...” He caught and understood the desperate words she struggled to get out. He tightened his embrace on her.

  Her labored breathing slowed slightly, but the tears flowed unchecked down her flushed cheeks. She continued her pleading. “Please, Mato Waditaka, he’ll hurt me. Maybe he’ll kill me. I’ll do anything you ask if you’ll let me stay here. Please don’t send me away...” She took his strong hands in her small, cold ones and squeezed them tightly. “What if he sells me to someone else who is cold and cruel like he is? Don’t trade me back to him. I am happy here.”

  Brave Bear comprehended many of her words and meanings. He knew she feared returning with Wanmdi Hota and pleaded with him to keep her here with him. She chooses me over him! he beamed with pride and confidence. She shpws who her choice is, surely he can see this also. She wishes to remain here forever with me and our people, and it shall be!

  She was begging from him and not Wanmdi Hota. She believed him to be the better man. The effect Wanmdi Hota had on her pleased him greatly. She could not possibly love or want a man she feared so much.

  He pulled her into his fierce embrace and held her lovingly. “Sh ... sh ... Shalee Mato Waditaka’s.” He gently shushed her with his finger to her quivering lips. She understood his tone and meaning but not his exact words, spoken like a soft caress. “I will not let him or anyone harm you ever again, Shalee, my love and heart.” She felt protection and love in the circle of his powerful arms and snuggled there to draw comfort from it.

  That was, until the voice of Gray Eagle touched her ears ... she inhaled sharply as she buried her forehead into Brave Bear’s chest and tightened her hold arcund his waist. I cannot look at him, she wildly thought. Mato Waditaka won’t send me back to him. Brave Bear wants me. I am safe here with him. Why has Wanmdi Hota come here today? Does he wish to scare me or torment me? Does he wish to remind me of his hatred? Will he forever seek some way to torture and hurt me? He would only kill me, or sell me, or abuse me again. Has he heard how gentle and loving Mato Waditaka is and wishes to find me a cruel and harsh master instead? I must stay here with Mato Waditaka at all cost ... he must keep me. He must!

  The two warriors glared at each other. Brave Bear was the first one to speak, “What do you want here? Why have you come?”

  The answer was brief and coldly stated, “I have come for Lese. She belongs to me.” Hearing the words “come” and “Lese,” Alisha guessed what he said ... she must come back to him. She looked horrified. She snuggled even closer to Brave Bear, clinging to him frantically. There was silent pleading for mercy in her bright, terrified eyes.

  She said to Gray Eagle, “I hate youl I will never go back with youl I will die first! Never! You sold me to Mato Waditaka and I now belong to him. You have no claim on my tife!”

  She felt his gaze pierce her very soul to dig into her most secret thoughts of her brain and feelings of her heart. She trembled. In despair, she cried out to him, “Free me, Wanmdi Hota! Leave me in peace. I beg you, do not take me back. Haven’t I suffered enough at your hands? What do you want from me? Why must you continue to torment me at every turn? You must free me from your evil grip ot hatred and cruelty. Let our spirits separate and go their own ways. Take Chela and leave me here with Mato Waditaka. Is that so very much to ask for?”

  Gray Eagle spoke with Brave Bear, but kept his eyes on Alisha. “She is mine, Mato Waditaka. Soon you and all the others will see and know this also. I will not leave here without her!”

  Brave Bear tightened his hold on Alisha. She wrongfully assumed Gray Eagle had threatened her in some way. Brave Bear answered him, “You will never take her from me.” Then, he scoffed, taunting him, “Do you not see how she hates and fears you? Do you not see she clings to me? She has made her choice. It is me, not you. She rejects you and accepts me. So it shall remain. I would be mad to let you take her from here for any reason. Leave us!”

  Gray Eagle spoke low and ominously, “Lese de mitawa!” He held out his hand to her and called, “Ku-wa, Cinstinna ...”

  She glared at his opened, extended hand in contempt and fear. She shouted, “Never! Never will I accept your hand again.” She turned her face away, fearing her tears would show the hurt she felt at his calling her “Little One” as he had done on many other occasions. But he had seen her tears before she turned away.

  Brave Bear laughed in his face at her cold rejection. He retorted mockingly, “You are a fool, Wanmdi Hota. You held the moon and stars in your arms, but only hatred and cruelty in your heart and mind. She is loved here. She is happy here. Why can you not leave her in peace? We will be joined in one moon. Then, she will forever be mine. I will not give her up, now or ever. She was happy until you came. She will never belong to you. Accept this and the loss of her.”

  He took Alisha by the hand and led her back toward the camp. She mutely followed, not daring to look at either man.

  Gray Eagle remained where he was, watching them walk away together. Only then did his face and eyes reveal the pain and doubts he felt within. How will I ever convince them to let her return with me when she so clearly shows her choice for Mato Waditaka and his camp? Anguish tore at his heart like a vulture at its prey.

  He had seen them walking in the meadow, hand in hand. He could discern her relaxed, happy face from where he had stood observing them. Mato Waditaka is right about one thing, he thought. She is happier here. But why shouldn’t she be? She is looked on as the daughter of the chief and accepted as such. The people here see her as Si-ha Sapa, not wasichu like it was in my camp. She can only accept what she sees with her eyes and feels with her senses. Wouldn’t she choose the love and acceptance they have shown her over the fear, rejection and hatred of my camp? She sees only love and tenderness from him, but recalls cruelty and hatred from me. If only you knew the whole truth, my love ...

  He realized his wish that she were an Indian had become a realit
y, but now, she was not his. She is so frightened of my coming and of any claim I might still have on her. I can imagine what fears and doubts came to her mind when she first saw me towering above her. Lese ... Lese ... he begged, do not force a love for him and a hate for me. I saw him hold and kiss you, but I did not see you return it. Jealousy, he mentally added, nor did you fight or resist him. Then he chided himself, why should she? Have I not taught her myself the pain and futility of resistance? Did I not prove to her many times she must yield to power and strength or be broken?

  I must know of what has passed between them. Why did she say she now belonged to him? Does she only cling to him in friendship and for protection as she did with Powchutu and Wanhinkpe Ska? How far has their friendship really gone? A dark, brooding scowl crossed his face. Does she seek to strike out at me in revenge? Does she hope to let him drive me from her heart, or has he already done so? Their touch was nearly intimate ... this, I do not like. Has he not waited until the joining day to know and love her? Has she found all the things I gave and taught her in him, or more? I greatly fear this tenderness he has shown to her, for it will be hard to fight.

  I fear she thinks I have only come to harm her. What will she believe when Powchutu tells her the truth? When she learns I did not sell or trade her and had no choice but to free her, what will this knowledge mean to her? Perhaps it will make no difference to her at all. What if she still wishes to remain here with him? Could she truly have fallen in love with him this quickly? I have hurt her deeply and perhaps she will never forgive me or trust me again. She might seek forgetfulness and healing in his arms.

  She was far too relaxed at his touch. Could she desire him more than me? Could his touch and love give her more than mine did? I will kill him if he has touched herl She says she hates me, but she did not show this to me back at my camp. But so much could have happened and changed in these past four moons that I do not know about. He could still see her face the morning he had sent her away with them. He shuddered.