Starblind (Starblind #1)

by D T Dyllin

  “Wait!” I shot to my feet, grabbing her arm roughly. “Why did you bring me back to The Pittsburgh if they’re working on it? I thought it was for my comfort, but then again—”

  “It was,” she interrupted, “You were calmer here. Just like you always are. And now I’m wor—” Tamzea’s expression closed off abruptly. “I shouldn’t be long. Stay put until I can talk to Zula. And that’s an order from a doctor to a patient.”

  My arm dropped to my side and I let her go without anymore protest. I was devastated. It was official, I had G-Pox and it was rotting my brain away. I slumped onto my bed and prepared for my imminent demise.

  I was burning up. My skin was blazing with desire—begging to be touched. “Ash,” I moaned, his name rolling off my tongue as both a demand and plea in one. I knew he was what my body was craving. He was the only thing that could satisfy the vast need building inside of me, which felt like a small fire kindling into a raging inferno.

  “I’m here.” The rough words were whispered directly into my mind. My eyes flew open just in time to see a mass of pure flame settle into Ash’s human form. He pressed down on top of me, pushing my arms over my head.

  I didn’t stop to question if his presence was real or just another dream. The truth was, I was beginning to not be able to tell the difference anymore. I arched my body up, and crashed my lips into his. The flavor of him was more potent than I’d remembered, and just like finely aged liquor, it went straight to my head. My senses reeled and my brain went on temporary vacation. The only thought that remained was centered on getting Ash naked and feeling him inside of me again. Thankfully, he seemed to be on the same page as me.

  “Fuck. I need you so damn much.”

  With one touch from Ash, my clothes were incinerated. He was already naked, much to my delight. Without any preamble, he ensnared my lips, and plunged into me. The snap and crackle of things burning around us didn’t even give me pause, nor did the smoky scent of it either. I wanted what Ash was doing to me—needed it on some primal level that I couldn’t quite grasp, but was more than happy to give myself over to.

  He pounded into me brutally, and I scaled my nails down his back, his blood burning my fingertips. No, that wasn’t right … he was burning me— No, we were on fire, just like in my dream. As pleasure like I’d never imagined ripped through my system, I threw my head back, screaming. It was as if every molecule in my body had combusted all at once. There was no more Jane, only the sensation of my afterglow. Ash roared his own release a moment later, scalding me from the inside. I made nonsensical noises in approval.

  And then my brain came back online, like someone had flipped the power switch back on. I instinctively knew what had just transpired between Ash and me was most definitely not a dream. I gazed up at him as the flames in his eyes faded to his normal shade of azure blue. His heavy lidded gaze roamed my features with appreciation … and something I couldn’t decipher. “I never thought—” Shock played across his expression as one end of the laser cuffs clicked into place on his left wrist.

  I grinned. “Thanks for that. It was exactly what I needed, and now—”

  “Oh, Janey, really? Not this again.” His full lips curled up into an already familiar smirk. “Give it up. Besides,” he dipped his head to deliver me a scorching kiss, which I couldn’t seem to help but respond to; of course I hated myself for it, “you’d never be able to turn me in. Every man will leave you … cold after being with me.” His laugh exploded around me, his human form bursting into flames just before he disappeared.

  Standing, I cursed him to high heaven and back, as the laser cuffs fell to the ground of my incinerated quarters. What did I expect, really? I already knew how easily he could escape them. My focus was then averted to what was left of my room. My comforter, mattress, posters … and everything in the immediate area of my bed had been charred completely. In other words … ruined. Not many things could make me cry, but I fought back the tears that pricked the corners of my eyes as I took in some of my most prized possessions in their new crispy state. “Damn him,” I growled. “He’s going to fucking pay for this.”

  Searing heat, emanating from the center of my naked back, snagged my attention. The intense sensation spread along my skin as if someone was carving into my flesh with a red-hot poker. I gritted my teeth, the pain crossing into a level of too-much-to-bear, but I fought the darkness that pushed at me.

  Until I couldn’t anymore.

  All went dark, my scream echoing in my ears.

  “I’m sure that’s what it is,” Zula stated calmly.

  “But I thought you said—”

  “I may be a genius but I’m not omniscient. By all accounts it shouldn’t be a possibility that Ash is a phoenix. Nevertheless, the evidence that he exists is right there on Jane’s back. It also points to her human DNA being spliced with phoenix DNA, which would also explain her resistance to being injured by fire.”

  A thrill raced through my system at Zula’s words. If what she was saying was true, then for the first time in my entire life I knew what the other part of me was. Of course, that would also mean—

  I groaned loudly. “Is that twisted phoenix trying to make me his mate or something?” Everything he’d said to me was starting to make sense—the part about the twin flame and keeping me. Everything.

  “Not trying,” Zula stated dryly. “Already has.”

  “What?” I rolled off my bed, inhaling the lingering smell of smoke … and Ash. His spicy, not quite cinnamon scent was somehow detectable above the burnt aroma of my things. I fought the urge to press my nose into the sheets to get a better whiff. “How is that even possible and how do you know?”

  “Oh, honey, be careful.” Tamzea came to my aid, helping me to my feet. That’s when I realized I was still naked. I snagged what was left of my top sheet, wrapping it around myself, my skin flushing with embarrassment.

  I ignored Tamzea’s mother hen attitude, and stepped towards Zula. “Okay, Smurfette, spill what you know. What the hell is going on?”

  Scowling at me, Zula crossed her arms over her chest. “You are now bonded to Ash as his mate. The complicated mate pattern branded into your back is what tells me that what I say is a fact. In order for you to bear such a mark means that you have phoenix DNA. It’s really not complicated or it shouldn’t be,” she delivered me a scathing look, “even for you.”

  Panic swelled up within me. “What does it mean, that I’m his mate?”

  “Exactly what it sounds like.” Tamzea patted my shoulder gently.

  “I told you that you needed to be more discerning about the men you let into your bed. I guess it’s a little late for another warning, so I’ll settle with an I told you so.” Zula smirked smugly at me.

  Had my first in command just implied that I was promiscuous? Bitch! I chose to ignore her smartass remarks, for the moment anyways. There would be retribution later. Smurfette is going down. “But what does it mean for me?” I worried my bottom lip between my teeth, mentally sorting through what I knew about other species that bonded as mates.

  No mate bond I’d ever heard of could be broken without death. It wasn’t like a simple bonding ceremony or a pledge like marriage. Mates were somehow connected … something I never thought I’d have to worry about, but maybe I should have being that I wasn’t actually one hundred percent human. The question was: how closely was I now connected to Ash? And what kind of power did he now hold over me?

  I shivered as an unbidden image of Ash moving inside of me flashed across my mind. Okay, so what kind of power besides making me some kind of needy, hormone addled, sex slave? “Is there a way to break it?” I twisted the remnants of my sheet, trying to stop thinking about a naked Ash doing deliciously naughty things to me. My body warmed despite my best efforts. I am so screwed.

  “Not unless you kill him,” Zula offered, her smug expression still in place.

  “That can be arranged.” I flopped down on my bed, suddenly feeling deflated. How had things g
one so wrong so quickly? Zula was right, I should have just kept my damn legs shut. Ash was like an incurable STD that I’d have to murder to shed myself of. Sure, I’d killed before, but never in cold blood.

  “So what does the thing on my back look like? Or really, how bad is it?” I should have been happy to find out that I wasn’t infected with G-Pox, but apparently it was my destiny to be physically altered against my will in some way. At least my face isn’t going to be half metal.

  “It’s actually quite beautiful.” Tamzea sat down beside me, and stroked my arm reassuringly. “It’s an intricate tribal-type design with what resembles a phoenix bird in the center. You have to look hard to see the bird, though. The pattern takes up your entire back from right under your hairline to the top of your ass. Some people would pay a lot for such a design. Not to mention, it’s iridescent. The color moves and changes like a real flame. I’ve never seen anything quite like it.”

  “Great.” The bright side was that at least it didn’t sound hideous.

  “If it wasn’t for our ridiculous, mandatory translator implants then I could tell you what the mate brand is called, and I could also use the phoenix name for mate. But unfortunately whenever I say it you’re just going to hear the word mate and so on.”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I’d heard Zula complain about the UGFS regulated implants so many times that it was expected at this point. I had to admit that probably a lot of things were lost in translation, literally, with the implants. But with so many species and so many different languages, let alone dialects, it was better than the alternative. Being able to go anywhere I chose, and always being able to understand what every creature said, was an invaluable asset to a bounty hunter such as myself. Plus, apparently humans didn’t have the aptitude to pick up languages as quickly as some of the other species … like Galvrarons. “But what does it all mean for me?”

  “It means that you might have to rethink turning him over for the bounty.”

  “Like hell it does. Maybe we need to look into the whole dead or alive part of the requirements.” I was only partly joking. How did I know that Ash hadn’t mated me because he knew I was the only bounty hunter skilled enough to actually nab him? Maybe he didn’t have a taste for cold-blooded murder either and he saw mating me as a win-win situation. I mean, he was clearly attracted to me. Turning me into his mate, who was at his sexual beck and call for the rest of my life, probably only sweetened the deal. Zula hadn’t mentioned anything about the whole sex slave thing, but if my already escalating need for Ash was any indication … Yep, I’m definitely in some deep shit.

  I’d spent the better part of the last twenty-four hours swinging back and forth between a multitude of emotions. I hated Ash. I needed to kill Ash. I wanted Ash. I craved Ash. I wanted to pummel Ash’s face in. Throughout it all, I remained stubborn. Despite everything, I was determined to catch and turn Ash over to the UGFS. With any luck, he’d be executed for his crimes, and that outcome would solve the problem for me.

  I stared at the Earth Pittsburgh Steelers football jersey in my hands. It was nothing more than a blackened rag now, no longer a prized possession to be displayed on my wall. I reluctantly tossed it down the trash chute, my gut roiling with anxiety at the loss of so many beloved items. I knew they were just things, but they all served as a security blanket—one that Ash had ripped away from me in one fell swoop … or in one deep penetration really.

  Anger flooded my system once more. My life had been uncomplicated before Ash had pushed his way into it, again, literally. It seemed as if my good karma wasn’t as good as I had thought. Or maybe Ash fell into the ‘careful what you wish’ for category. I was always yearning for a deeper connection, a sense of belonging and unconditional love. Suddenly I found myself strapped with a mate. I couldn’t get more connected to someone if I actually went out and tried.

  I pressed the small white intercom button on the wall, smearing soot on it. “Tamzea?”

  “Yes, Captain?” The use of my title let me know she wasn’t alone.

  “How much longer did the Gartians say it would be?”

  There was only a moment’s pause before she responded, “About another hour.”

  “Thank you, Tamzea.”

  Just another hour, give or take, until we could get back out into space, and back on track with our mission. I didn’t care who Ash was technically to me now. It changed nothing. I’d made no conscious decision to mate with him. I had no feelings for him beyond the yearning I felt for him physically. I would just have to learn to become celibate if that’s what it meant. And maybe I needed to learn how to not be so attached to material things as well. Perhaps Tamzea and Zula had been right all along. Maybe—

  Muttering a string of obscenities, I whirled around my room, grabbing everything I could, sending it all down the trash chute. My ridiculous attachment was a weakness. I wasn’t human, and I’d never see Earth no matter how many things I collected from its history.

  I paused when I came to my closet, my chest heaving. Slowly, I ran my fingertips over the most recent Earth pieces I’d acquired, the material soft, comforting. No, I can’t get rid of these. After all, I need them for my job. The rest, though … all the rest could go.

  “It’s a shame you didn’t get to spend as much time with the Gartians as we did,” Zula said, her fingers dancing along the buttons to set the navigation and pilot system. “They are quite technologically advanced. More so than I’d originally believed. Metal may be their specialty, but some of their other inventions are enviable even to me. I would have liked to spend more time studying them and picking their brains, so to speak.”

  “Yes, I missed out, I know.” I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I didn’t find new cultures and worlds as interesting as Zula, at least not in the same way. I’d been impressed with what I’d seen on the Gartian planet, and even more so what they’d been able to do to The Pittsburgh in such a short amount of time. My ship had gotten a major overhaul that left it with the same ‘homey’ feeling it always had, but now it was fitted with top of the line Gartian Alloy, which was practically indestructible. Oh, and it was a lot shinier and prettier now, too. The Pittsburgh would be the envy of … well, anyone who saw it. Note to self: Talk to Masha to see if the Gartians also installed a suped-up security system. I don’t want anyone else getting their hands on my baby.

  “Sooo …” I tapped my foot in a steady rhythm. “How long until you build the nifty contraption that was the whole point of coming into Gartian territory for?”

  “First Masha has something she wants to talk to you about.” Zula’s lips tipped up slightly and she very carefully avoided my gaze.

  “What about?”

  She snickered. Not good. Not good at all. Instead of playing the little game any longer with Zula, who I was now seriously considering replacing as well, I went off in search of Masha. Okay, so it wouldn’t be much of a search since I knew exactly where she’d be … where she almost always was: the engine room.

  Only she wasn’t alone when I got there.

  My jaw practically hit the ground when I saw Masha. She was sitting cross-legged on top of one of the machines. Not abnormal in itself, but what was … one of the Gartian triplets—Zar, Tar, or Dar, I wasn’t really sure which of them—was leaning into her while stroking her face affectionately. I may, although I’ll never admit it, have screamed like I was witnessing a grown man touch a child inappropriately. Okay, so that’s how it felt to me, although I knew Masha was technically older than me, and her body was just tiny, not actually childlike.

  She just uses her cute little face to manipulate me.

  She’s not actually a child.

  I so can’t handle this.

  “Captain J-Jane,” Masha sputtered, which was a first for her. Usually she was calm and collected while she managed to get me to do exactly what she wanted. Even her tears and lip quivers were perfectly masterminded for maximum effect. “I … ah, this is Dar. You remember him? He’s going to stay on with us for a whi
le. To help out and—”

  “Why?” I blurted out, not letting her finish. “And usually it’s standard protocol to, at the very least, inform the captain and owner of a ship, if there’s suddenly about to be a change in the number of people. It’s my damn ship! You need to consult with me!” Not wanting or being able to handle Masha and her guest at the moment, I marched right back out the way I came without another word.

  “Jane.” Zula’s voice echoed through the ship from the intercom. “We’re being detained by a UGFS vessel and it looks like we’re about to be boarded.”

  I clutched at the nearby wall for balance. “What the fuck is happening lately?” I threw my head back and glared. “Universe, you know you owe me better than all the shit you’ve been throwing my way. Why the hell are you fucking with me?”

  Just then Dar and Masha scurried out of the engine room. Masha’s face held an edge of panic. “I need to hide him. The UGFS can’t find him here.”

  I gritted my teeth. “And why is that exactly?”

  Masha’s eyes darted to Dar and then back to mine. “It would be bad.”

  My eyes slid shut for a moment, and I took a few deep breaths to try and calm myself. “Okay … hide him in the smuggling compartment under the cargo deck. But if for whatever reason they find him, I’ll do and say whatever I need to in order to protect me and mine. Got that, big guy?”

  Dar inclined his head towards me. “Thank you.”

  Just as him and Masha turned to leave, I snagged her arm and stooped over to get right in her face. “After this is over, you are going to tell me everything. Understood?”

  She bit her lower lip, nodding rapidly. I let her go, and the two of them dashed off. I pressed my cheek against the cool metal of the wall. It felt good against my flushed skin. After a few moments of allowing myself to panic, I straightened up, and ran my hands over my clothes. I had nothing to hide … well, nothing much anyways. Whatever the UGFS wanted probably had to do with the Ash case. Or at least I hoped.