Starblind (Starblind #1)

by D T Dyllin

  Ash spun around, capturing my face between his large hands. His gaze bore into mine as flames erupted in his eyes. “You are mine, that’s all that matters. We wouldn’t have been able to bond as mates if you weren’t phoenix … or enough of one.” His lips came crashing down on mine and I opened up for him, unable to resist. I reveled in the sharp taste of him, but only for a moment.

  “No, stop.” I pushed at his chest, forcing him to release me.

  He backed up a few paces, studying me with obvious want burning in his eyes. “I sense you want to talk about something?” He tilted his head, a smirk twisting up one side of his mouth.

  “No shit. I feel like … I feel—I feel violated is what I feel.” I crossed my arms over my chest to hide my hard nipples. They didn’t exactly confirm my statement. In fact, they were giving off the opposite impression. They were silently begging to be touched and suckled, bitten even. I shook my head to dislodge my pervy thoughts. I’m pathetic. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.

  Ash quirked an eyebrow at me. “Really? I seem to remember you prancing onto my ship with seduction on your mind. Was it wrong of me to take you up on the offer?”

  “No. That’s not what I mean. I was talking about the whole mating thing. You claimed me without even asking!” I ground my teeth together, fighting the urge to punch him. “Why? Why did you do that?”

  “I’m pretty sure I already answered that question. What is this really about? Are you afraid that you don’t actually hate me as much as you want to? Or are you still steaming over the hit to your pride?” He grinned, and damnit the sight dazzled me. I leaned towards him, and thoughts of pulling him into a rough kiss where our teeth clashed together flashed across my mind. “Or is it that you can’t stand the thought of being out of control? Let me assure you, your fiery personality is very much like a phoenix. The challenge of mating is half the fun.”

  “You already mated me. So—”

  Ash closed the scant distance between us, caressing the side of my face gently. I melted into his touch, hating myself for it. “No. The process is just beginning. There is much more to come.”

  Confusion washed over me as I stared up at him. “But we’re already marked …”

  “Which makes you mine and me yours. But the bonding process … is just beginning. We hardly know each other.” He hungrily devoured me with his eyes, letting me know he wasn’t just talking about not knowing my favorite color.

  “Then it’s not too late to stop this insanity. Release me. You don’t want me. If you let me go then I might even consider not turning you over to the UGFS.”

  Ash threw his head back and laughed. “I’m not an idiot. You’d turn me over in a heartbeat. And it is too late, there’s no going back for us. ‘Til death do us part, sweetheart, literally.”

  I took a wild swing at him. He caught my fist with ease as his gaze snagged, and remained riveted, on my jiggling naked breasts. My face heated, and I raised my knee to deliver him a painful ball buster, but he knocked me aside with his leg. “I don’t want to be your stupid mate. And tell me, why the hell did you steal from the UGFS anyways? You had to know that you’d get caught.”

  Ash maneuvered so I was once again facing away from him with my arms held down by his steel band-like arms. His hot breath tickled the side of my face as he whispered in my ear, “Ah … but I’m not caught yet, am I? And you do want to be my mate otherwise you wouldn’t be.”

  “You expect me to believe that? You mated me against my will. You—”

  “I never could have marked you if some part of you hadn’t accepted me fully. Mull that over in that pretty little head of yours. I—”

  Just then my door slid open to reveal a very surprised Zula. Her eyes looked comically wide in her blue face as she took in the situation. It was only a moment before she was in motion, though. She lunged at Ash, waving what looked like a long, tubular wand attached to a small containment unit. Ash, as expected, instantly shifted to his flame form. A loud sucking sound filled the room. For a moment, I actually thought we had him.

  I should have known better.

  Ash’s flame form circled me as he chuckled warmly. He wasn’t even the tiniest bit threatened by Zula’s supposed secret infallible weapon. “You’ll have to do better than that.” He disappeared in a puff of smoke, and I was left half naked staring at a very pissed off Galvraron. Openly mocking her invention would not go over well for anyone. Lucky me was left to deal with the fallout.

  She slammed down her machine and swore. “That’s it. We’re done. I don’t care how much money they’re offering to pay us, the UGFS is on their own. I have no idea how to catch him. Me. A Galvraron has no idea how to catch him. How the hell did almost their entire species get wiped out?”

  “Killing someone and catching them is two different things,” I mumbled, pulling my shirt on over my head. “And we’re not giving up just yet. I just—”

  “Like hell we’re not. You’re mated with him. I saw what was going on between you two just now. You were half naked and he—”

  “I was already half naked when he showed up!” I tried defending myself. “He just poofed right in here and—”

  “Started to seduce you … again!” Zula paused, dipping her head to gaze at the floor. “Look, I don’t blame you. I really don’t know what kind of wacky things a mate bond can do to your hormones, but that’s kind of the point. We’re dealing with things that I don’t even have a clue about. Me.”

  “So what do you suggest? Stay mated to a fugitive? That puts me more at risk than anything else. Or maybe if we can catch him I can break this stupid bond.”

  Zula inhaled sharply, pinning me with her gaze. “You mean you would let them execute him just to be rid of him?”

  No. “Yes.”

  “I don’t believe you, Jane. And I need to do some more research before we decide to do anything else.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “We’re kind of on a time crunch for the big payoff.”

  “I realize that,” she growled. “Just give me a few hours.”

  “Fine.”

  “Fine.”

  Zula glided out of my quarters, leaving her failed machine on my floor. I kicked it, swearing when a sharp pain raced from my toes up my leg. That was stupid. Of course you’ve been doing a lot of dumbassery lately.

  Ash’s words, about a part of me accepting him as a mate, echoed through my mind as I hobbled over to my bed. I rubbed my foot gingerly, and tried to be honest with myself for once. Or maybe all it took was for me to accept Ash physically? I never denied my desire to be with him sexually. The man was the best sex I’d ever had. I mean, sue me. I was only human … or part human.

  Something propped up on the pillow of my bed caught my attention and I swung my gaze over to—

  “Oh, my God!” It was a small, stuffed animal version of an Earth animal called a mogwai. They had been completely wiped out with the destruction of Earth. Before I’d gotten rid of all my Earth relics, I’d had stuffed animals of a mogwai, a leopard, a kitsune, a koala bear, a dragon, and an elephant.

  Picking up the fuzzy little toy, I saw that there was a note underneath it.

  I hurled the stuffed mogwai across the room. I wasn’t going to ask Ash for anything. It didn’t matter that for one millisecond, a moment in time, his gift, which was much more of a gesture, had touched some part deep inside of me. Not to mention that … okay, I was seriously intrigued that he had actually been on Earth. How long was a phoenix’s life span? Would the phoenix DNA cause me to live longer than the average human?

  Well, shit. Now I had even more questions and I refused to ask Ash for anything ever again. He’d laughed at me when I’d practically begged him to release me as his mate. Asshat. My emotions were incredibly jumbled and I was beyond confused. I felt like I was having some kind of existential crisis. I wasn’t even sure who I was anymore or who I would be after all the shit went down. Ash had somehow managed to obliterate my sense of self by revealing to me what my hid
den genetics were. Oh the irony.

  I flopped onto my bed and curled into a ball. I would force myself to put faith in Zula’s brain and my ability to bounce back from anything. I just needed a little time to adjust to all the new information I’d recently received. After all, not much had actually changed. I was still the same Jane Sevis I’d always been. I just knew a little bit more about the non-human side of me.

  No biggie. No biggie at all.

  “What do you mean, they’re dead?” Ash’s thoughts scattered. His emotions wavered between denial, anger, sorrow, and panic. “They can’t be dead.” An image of a woman and a small child flashed in his mind. “No, not them. Not them.” He rounded on the bearer of bad news, a man who looked very much like him in the face. “Why didn’t you protect them?”

  “Brother,” the man croaked, tears pooling in his eyes. “She was my sister, too, and my niece. I did everything I could, but the Denards … they know our weaknesses.”

  “How? How can this be happening?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “I should have been there. I could have protected them. I would—”

  “Be dead, too. They’re targeting the royals. They thought you’d be there.”

  “We have to stop them, and we have to—” Sorrow and rage swelled up within Ash. “We have to make them pay.”

  My eyes snapped open. “What the hell was that?” It felt like I’d been in a memory of Ash’s in my dream—like I’d dreamt his memory. It was impossible, though. I wasn’t sure why I’d had the dream, or really nightmare, but at least I hadn’t had an erotic dream about him again. Maybe that was a good sign? I was going to take it as one anyways.

  I lurched to my feet, and punched the intercom button. “Zula, where are you? It’s been a few hours.” When I got no response I hauled my emotionally exhausted ass out into the main part of the ship in search of her. However, I didn’t have to look for very long. I found her on the ship’s main computer, riveted to the screen as she scrolled rapidly through pages of text. “Ummm … Zula?”

  “Not now, Jane. I’m searching the Galvraron archives for anything I can find about the phoenix. So far I haven’t found anything useful, but there has to be something somewhere that—”

  “What would you do if you were me?” I slumped into the chair beside her.

  Zula froze mid scroll, turning slowly towards me. “Are you seriously asking me for advice about all of this?”

  “Yes, I am. I admit that I may have been a bit … pigheaded about going after Ash. But now I’m kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. For the first time in a very long time, I honestly don’t know what to do.” I raised my hand up to keep her from talking before I was finished. “Don’t get used to this and don’t get all smug on me or I swear to God I’ll find another second in command so fast your ginormous brain will get a concussion from the whiplash.”

  Zula nodded but couldn’t contain the twinkle in her eyes. “You should give up the bounty on Ash. Things are too complicated between the two of you. Maybe if you forfeit the job then it will sour the ambassador’s attraction to you as well. What Dar told us about the UGFS does affect us, Jane. Or it does you. Or it could. The Denards hold a special hatred for the creatures of Earth, and you are part human.” Her gaze bore into mine. “You are part human and part phoenix. I’d avoid any attention being drawn to you as much as possible. I’m not sure how the scientists on New Earth even got a hold of phoenix DNA, but … Jane, this entire situation is too dangerous for you—for all of us.”

  I dropped my head into my hands and groaned. I knew she was going to tell me to give up the bounty on Ash. I also knew she was right, but I didn’t want to admit that he’d gotten the better of me in so many ways. If I couldn’t catch him then who would? “Fine. Hail Ambassador Aralias’ ship for me. I’ll let him know the bad news.”

  Zula’s expression lost all sense of mirth as it fell into serious lines. “You’re doing the right thing, Jane.”

  “Then why does it make me feel so shitty?” I grumbled. “By the way … you didn’t happen to come across any tidbits about breaking the phoenix mate bond, did you? Because dropping Ash as a bounty doesn’t do anything to solve that part of my problem. Not to mention … what happens if the UGFS and the Denards find out that he mated me?” A lump formed in my throat. Ash really was like an STD, one that quite possibly could end up being the death of me.

  “I’ll do some more research. Let’s deal with one problem at a time.” Zula stood, and I trailed along after her so we could make the call to the ambassador.

  A wave of shame threatened to drown me. I was supposed to be one of the best bounty hunters in the galaxy and Ash had bested me so easily. Now I was going to have to admit it publicly to someone who had the power to affect my career down the road. Good-bye any future UGFS contracts.

  As I stood in front of the screen waiting for Zula to make contact, I actually contemplated making a run for it like a friggin’ child. Maybe I should hide under the covers, too? What the hell was happening to me? Since meeting Ash my entire world had been turned upside down. Or really … I was feeling … I was just feeling too much. And I didn’t like it one bit.

  I straightened up, my muscles coiling so tightly that my back ached by the time Ambassador Aralias appeared on the huge screen in front of me. I forced my lips into a smile, and inclined my head slightly in greeting. “Ambassador Aralias.”

  “Do you have him?”

  My eyes slid shut for a second before I met his eager gaze. “No. In fact, I’m contacting you about the exclusivity contract. I’m going to have to terminate it. Ash … well, we have no idea how to catch and contain him. We’re officially out of leads, too. I’ve never dealt with a creature as … as … tricky as him before. I apologize for any inconvenience that this might have caused you. I would also like to—”

  “You’re supposed to be one of the best.” Ambassador Aralias’ features pinched tightly with anger. “You will bring Ash and that chip to me.”

  “Umm … o-okay,” I stammered. “It’s not that I don’t want to bring Ash to you and collect the price on his head but he’s … well, you know what he is, right?”

  A muscle ticked in the ambassador’s jaw. “We know what he is, yes.”

  “Okay, so unless you have any tips on how to catch him, I really don’t know what to tell you.”

  The screen flickered and went black. I glanced at Zula and she shrugged. “There’s nothing wrong on our end,” she offered after a moment of rechecking our settings.

  “Did he just hang up on me?” Before I really had the chance to ponder what that meant, the screen was suddenly filled with the ambassador’s face again.

  “Captain Sevis, I can offer you a way to retrieve the chip from Ash, and a way for you to collect on the bounty. We would have preferred to receive Ash alive for questioning, but under the circumstances, we’re bendable on that point like I previously stated.”

  I swallowed around the lump forming in my throat. “You mean you want me to take him out and just bring you the chip?”

  “Yes.”

  “But I don’t know how to do that either. I know nothing about—”

  “We shall provide you with the means to end Ash. A delivery will be made to your ship from a representative within the hour.” The screen clicked off again and I stumbled over to my chair.

  “Shit. What do I do now?”

  “Isn’t it obvious? You bring them Ash’s dead body or you forfeit more than the bounty, Jane.” Zula’s tone lacked any emotion.

  “You picked up on that, too?”

  “It was hard to miss the underlining threat.”

  “What the hell is on that chip?” I slid my hands through my hair and tugged. Would I actually be able to kill Ash? I’d never taken someone’s life in cold blood before. The thought of Ash’s lifeless body twisted my gut. I’d have to do what I had to do to survive, though. It was him or me. I will always pick me.

  “It’s probably best we
don’t know what’s on that chip.” Zula stood and left the room.

  Despite everything, my curiosity was beyond piqued. “Well now I want to know more than ever,” I mumbled to myself.

  “What is it?” I stared down at the bejeweled knife being presented to me by an official UGSF courier. I couldn’t help but wonder why Ambassador Aralias hadn’t made the trip himself. Not that I wasn’t glad for the reprieve of having to deal with him in person again.

  “I’m not sure.” The courier then produced a small envelope with a UGFS seal on the back. “I was instructed to give the knife and this letter to you, that’s it.”

  Zula reached for the knife at the same time I reached for the letter. “Thanks. Zula, how about seeing our guest out.” I was already ripping open the envelope before Zula could respond.

  “Yes, of course.” She didn’t let go of the knife, I noticed. Maybe she already knew what it was? Pulling the UGFS stationary out, I quickly read the letter.

  Blinking rapidly, I processed what I’d just read. Ambassador Aralias actually expected me to kill Ash. Shit just got real.

  Zula snatched the letter from me when she returned, skimming it before handing it back to me. “I read about these set of daggers in the Galvraron archives. The metal is infused with something that attracts the essence of a phoenix. In other words, you stab Ash in the heart, and it will steal his flame, the thing that sustains a phoenix’s life. Without his flame, a phoenix is no longer immortal.”

  Immortal? I gulped. Again, I couldn’t help but wonder how being spliced with phoenix DNA would affect my life span. And did I have a flame? Suddenly I had the urge to step away from the blade. “How does it do that exactly? I mean, how does it steal the flame?”

  Zula’s lips twitched up, her eyes glittering with mischief. “It’s magic.”

  I scowled. “Really? That’s what you’re going with—magic?”

  “It’s an age old practice used to describe the unknown. I’m sure there’s a scientific explanation, but no one is sure what it is. Therefore, I’m just going to go with magic.”