Starblind (Starblind #1)

by D T Dyllin

  He flicked his chocolate gaze to the ground. “We need protection, Jane. Sacrifices must be made.” He sounded almost remorseful about his actions.

  I tilted my head, studying him. “Protection from what?”

  His gaze snapped back up to meet mine, and his white teeth flashed as he growled like some kind of rabid animal. “From the same bastards who destroyed Earth. That’s what all of it has always been about. The splicing—the training … They just never told us when we were kids.”

  “You mean the Denards?” I caught Zula’s attention with my eyes as she stood quietly by the airlock, ready to react.

  “You know? You know and still you refuse to help your people?”

  I threw my laser-cuffed hands up in the air. “Well fuck. It looks like you should have mentioned that little tid-bit, too. I think what we have going on here is a huge miscommunication.”

  Ash flamed in dramatically to stand beside me. “She’s right. We need to talk, Maddox. And you need to listen.”

  Maddox’s hand hovered over his laser gun. He shook his head slowly. “You never intended to hand her over.” Not a question but a statement. I just hoped he didn’t try anything stupid because he now felt backed into a corner.

  “No,” Zula said. “We needed you here so you might listen to us.”

  “We’re all on the same team.” Ash stared down at Maddox; he was a good couple of inches taller than my ex. “The problem was that none of us knew it.”

  “Who the hell are you anyways?” Maddox’s fingers twitched over his gun.

  “I’m Jane’s mate, and I’m a phoenix.”

  Maddox blinked rapidly, and his lips parted slightly. “I d-don’t understand. Phoenixes were killed off by—”

  “The Denards. Yes, most of us were. And the few of us left want revenge.”

  “You want revenge,” Maddox mumbled as if on autopilot as he tried to process the information that was being dropped on him.

  “As do the Gartians,” Ash added.

  “The Gartians,” Maddox repeated.

  “And me,” Nina said softly as she strode across the floor, eyes riveted to Maddox. It looked like she’d been eavesdropping.

  Maddox’s eyes widened, and he paled as he stumbled backwards. “Nina?” He raised a shaky hand to scrub down his face. It was if seeing her scars made him touch his face in reflex.

  She notched her chin up even as her lower lip trembled. “Yes, it’s me.”

  “Whaa-what happened to you?”

  “I was a victim of the Denard prejudices as well. I was punished for not hating as much as the rest of them.” Her lips pressed into a thin line as she waited for Maddox’s reaction. Every muscle in her body looked to be locked with tension as she practically vibrated where she stood. I’d already figured out who he was to her. I had yet to put the pieces together about how they’d met, though.

  “Jesus,” Maddox finally muttered. He took a step towards Nina and stopped. Then he took another before halting again. He continued this process until he stood right before her. He raised his shaky hand to hover over her face. “Nina, I-I wish—” His expression abruptly hardened and he backed up, turning to face Ash. “I’m ready to talk now.”

  I could see the hurt in Nina’s eyes even though she tried to hide it. She may have loved Ambassador Aralias on some level, but it was clear to me that her heart still belonged to Maddox. Shit. What were the chances that my ex-boyfriend would turn out to be Nina’s human love from her past? The man who had caused her husband to disfigure her face? The Universe was a much smaller place than I ever realized. Maybe too small.

  “Well, let’s talk then,” I replied before Ash could. “And, Zula, get me the hell out of these things … now.” I lifted my cuffed wrists up, waving them around demonstratively.

  Ash touched my arm and helped me to flame out of the cuffs before Zula could reach me. Maddox’s eyes widened slightly. I guess maybe it was a good thing to show him that we weren’t bullshitting about the whole phoenix thing. Although I supposed he was instantaneously more open to us the moment he’d laid eyes on Nina.

  “Come on.” I headed off in the direction of the eating lounge. “We’re all going to have a full disclosure meeting.” I paused when I passed one of the intercoms and leaned into it, pressing the button. “Group meeting in the eating lounge immediately. That means you Tamzea, Masha, and Dar, because everyone else is up here with me and already knows.”

  I continued on knowing everyone would follow me. By the time we got to the lounge, Tamzea, Masha, and Dar were already there. The three of them watched Maddox with suspicion.

  “It’s okay, guys.” I tried to make my tone sound carefree. Things were in a better place than when Maddox had first stepped onto the ship, but I wasn’t fool enough to think that meant everything was okay just yet. “Maddox is willing to listen to what’s really going on. I—”

  “What is he?” Maddox blurted out as he stared in disbelief at Dar.

  “That, my dear Maddox, is a Gartian.” I pulled out a chair, flopped down in it, and propped my booted feet up on the table. “Have a seat, Maddox. As you can see, we really do have a lot to discuss.”

  He scrubbed a hand over his face, his gaze swinging wildly around the room to finally land on me. All of his hostility had finally seeped out of him. “Yeah, okay.” Pulling out a chair of his own, he sat down.

  “I guess I’ll go first.” I cleared my throat, meeting Maddox’s dark brown pools. “It all began when I took the contract that the UGFS had out on Ash … ”

  It felt like hours since the impromptu meeting had begun. Maddox asked more questions than I would have ever thought possible, but finally it seemed like things were wrapping up. Thankfully it also seemed like Maddox was now seeing things our way. We really were on the same team. Personally, I was shocked that New Earth was preparing for the Denards. They hid their intentions very well. Maybe a little too well in some cases. That fact had almost resulted in me being experimented on for the ‘greater good’.

  “So how do you plan on getting the information on the chip out?” Maddox asked Ash. “There are a lot of colonies that are off the grid, but they’re no less important—”

  “Before we can even begin to think about dropping that bomb we need to prepare the citizens that are ruled over by the UGFS. If we don’t prepare them then we could do more harm than good. They have to have protection in place. Even the more peaceful species need to be prepared with back up food or whatever it is that the UGFS could lord over them to keep control.”

  Maddox nodded, deep in thought. “We could use people like me and Jane who travel the galaxies to spread the word. It won’t raise suspicion since it’s what we’ve been doing for years. We can begin to spread the truth, prepare people, and when the time is right then we can let the information out.”

  “No one will believe us if we don’t let them see the information first,” I started to argue, but Ash didn’t let me finish.

  “More species have been learning the hard way, Janey. I hate to say this because I know you’re going to make me pay for it later, but you were naïve. You were half blind to what was going on with everything you did and the things that were around you. Maybe you didn’t want to see it because at the time you had no real way to fix it … but Maddox is right. We can’t just drop the information without having a plan in place.”

  “That’s what you meant before when you said things were more complicated than I thought, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” He squeezed my hand.

  “Okay, but then— Wait! Does this mean I get to be a bounty hunter again?” I knew it was a bit twisted that with everything else going on I kept focusing in on that little part of my life, but seriously … I loved my job. Plus, I really had no idea how else I was supposed to legally make the kind of money I pulled in as a bounty hunter.

  “Focus, Jane,” Zula said. Although I couldn’t miss the pleased tone in her voice. Zula had grown used to a certain level of pay brought in by my bounties
. She wasted most of her money on silly science-y crap, but who was I to judge?

  “I am focused.”

  Maddox rose from the table. “I have a lot to report back to New Earth about.” He met my gaze, and for the first time since meeting him again, his eyes softened towards me. “I’m sorry I thought … I’m sorry I thought that about you, Jane.”

  I waved him off. “I guess it’s okay. Although it would have been nice for you to have given me a little more credit than that. But whatever.” He’d jumped to the conclusion that I’d been harboring secret abilities rather quickly. He’d also treated me like it was something right up my alley to do. I still couldn’t help but wonder what I had done to him to make him see me that way. Besides shoot him, which I wouldn’t have done if he hadn’t tossed me aside like yesterday’s trash.

  “I’ll make sure the warrant is lifted and it’s known that it was all a mistake. We do need you out there to help with this.”

  “Mmm hmm,” I muttered as I drummed my fingers against the table. Somehow I had ended up involved in this little rebellion slash uprising, or whatever you wanted to call it, despite all my protests. I still wasn’t quite sure how I felt about it. I wasn’t even sure it had fully sunk in yet. All I knew was that I got to be a bounty hunter again. That part made me happy. I guess the rest I would just have to take day by day.

  “We’ll see you on New Earth soon,” Ash said to Maddox as he stood and shook his hand. Maddox eyed Ash with something akin to respect. I suppose it was because Ash had gone to such lengths to get the information that would eventually bring down the UGFS, and therefore the Denards.

  I studied Maddox from under my lashes as he readied himself to leave. He glanced over at Nina and gulped. He actually gulped. In that moment I saw a glimpse of the boy I used to know.

  “Nina …” He cleared his throat. “Nina, I—” She stood, reaching her hand up hesitantly to touch him. He watched it come at him as if horrified. As soon as her skin made contact with his, he jerked back as if he’d been electrocuted. “I better be going.” He rushed off as if his life depended on it.

  Nina stared after Maddox with utterly no emotions. That wasn’t good, and it was also kind of creepy. She had a lot of practice compartmentalizing from her time with the ambassador. I just hoped seeing Maddox, the man she actually loved, wouldn’t push her over the edge somehow.

  “Come here.” Ash swept me up in his arms, and I squealed with delight. “No more serious thoughts for the time being. We need to have a little meeting of our own.”

  I heard Tamzea giggle, and Zula make some kind of snide comment, I was sure of it by her tone. But I couldn’t care less. My time for embarrassment about Ash was over. I was proud to have him as my mate. Besides … the Universe was finally beginning to turn things in my favor, like it should have been doing all along.

  “When did you have time to do this?” My gaze swept over my living quarters with both awe and annoyance. It seemed like my reactions to things were like that often lately … both positive and negative at the same time. It was like the old me was at war with the new me internally. Or maybe I was just afraid, on some level, of being happy. Because hitting any kind of high meant you had that much more distance to fall before you hit bottom.

  “Dar and Masha did it. I guess Masha is feeling a tad guilty. Besides,” Ash wrapped his arms around me from behind, “do you really want to burn everything to a crisp every time we’re together? Wasn’t it nice not having to worry about that when we were on the Gartian planet?”

  Leaning back into Ash, I inhaled his unique spicy scent. The not quite cinnamon note was rapidly becoming associated with home to me. “Yes, okay, I did say I needed to get me some flame retardant stuff, but it also would have been nice to not feel … I don’t know, violated.”

  Rolling my shoulders, I internally scolded myself. Masha was my friend, one that had some explaining to do, but my friend nonetheless. She and Dar had done something nice for me. They didn’t violate me, and I needed to stop being so touchy about such things. I forced my mind away from my irritated feelings. “And the Gartians really need to name their planet. It’s kind of weird that it’s just,” I raised my hands to air quote, “The Gartian planet.”

  Ash nuzzled me, speaking against the side of my neck. “It had a name, once. But after the G-Pox it somehow didn’t feel like home to them anymore. Or rather, it didn’t feel like the planet that it once was. They felt it needed a new name and yet they didn’t want to let go of the old. They kind of slipped into limbo with it, and now it’s simply the way it is.”

  “I guess that makes sense. What happened to them,” I shuddered, “their kind are true survivors.” I reached up to lock my fingers around the back of Ash’s neck so I was arched backwards. He took the opportunity to skim his long fingers up to cup my breasts.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he rasped. “I’ll truly never get enough of you.”

  My insides ignited just like they always did when Ash touched me, but it felt more intimate this time. Maybe it was because of the completed mate bond. Or maybe it was because I was finally giving him my trust. I guess in the end it didn’t matter. Things had felt off between Ash and me before. Like I wanted him, but I hated him. He made me burn for him, and yet that thought had left me cold. Our relationship had moved too quickly, and at an awkward snail’s pace at the same time. I needed and wanted him, but hadn’t truly trusted him. Things finally felt like they were clicking into place emotionally. I guess I’d been trying to fight my destiny all along, as corny as that sounded. There were still things about phoenixes that I didn’t understand. Had Ash and I somehow been fated to be together all along? Were we meant to—

  “You’re thinking too much. I don’t like it.” Ash pitched me forward, and I landed face first on my bed. He wrapped the end of my ponytail around his fist, tugging gently while burning away my clothes with the other.

  “Hey, I liked that outfit!”

  “I’ll buy you another one.” He swirled his fingertips over the elegant pattern magically burned into my back. “You have no idea how happy it makes me to see this.” His voice had dropped an octave lower than normal. “I want to fuck you while I look at it.” He dropped his scalding lips to my back, trailing his tongue down my spine. “I want to be staring down at my mark on you—my claim—while I fuck you hard enough to make you scream. Then, I want to come all over it. Mark you again in a different way.” He released my hair, and I sank forward as he nipped at my left ass cheek. “Then I want to clean you up and do it all over again.” He palmed each ass cheek and lifted me up, spreading me. “But first I’m going to taste that very sweet pussy of yours.”

  Well, that seemed … nice. “Yes. Do it.” I urged him on by wiggling my bared flesh at him.

  His low rumble of a laugh hummed against my sensitive flesh as he speared his tongue into me. I groaned in pleasure, clutching at the bed for some kind of leverage. Flames burst forth from my palms as he flicked my clit with his overheated tongue. “Come on, Janey baby, I can tell you’re already on the edge. I need to taste your cum. Now.”

  “Dirty … naughty … phoenix,” I muttered, undulating my hips back and forth against his mouth. Finally I gave him what we both wanted, and I cried out as I burst into flames … literally.

  When my orgasm had run its course, I settled back into my human form. I had no idea that could happen. It felt damn good, though … better than good. I was ready for more. “Ash,” I moaned, “I want the rest of what you promised.”

  Ash gripped my hips, sliding into me from behind in one hard thrust. “I think I can do that,” he growled. His hands dug into my flesh as he pounded into me. The friction was delicious, just the right amount of pleasure mixed with pain. My muscles were already coiling tight again as Ash burned me from the inside out. “Tell me what I want to hear,” he bit out. “Tell me.”

  “I’m yours.”

  “There’s no doubt there. You belonged to me before we even met.” He smacked my ass and gro
und his pelvis against me. “Tell me.”

  I tried to think with my hormone-addled brain what he could possibly want to hear from me. Obviously I now knew what it wasn’t. Arrogant asshat who fucks like a god. What would someone like him want to hear?

  “Tell me,” he demanded again.

  “I-I …” Quivering around him, I tried to think, tried to focus. Then it all began crystal clear.

  “I love you,” I gasped out.

  Ash burst into flames, taking me with him. We swirled around and through each other, riding out the bliss before we both settled back into our human forms.

  “That isn’t exactly what you promised.” I play pouted.

  Ash pulled me on top of him and kissed my temple tenderly. “Our emotions are still so raw because everything’s so new. I didn’t think I’d lose control and burst into flames.” He tipped my chin up so I could gaze into his beautiful cerulean eyes. “That’s what you do to me, make me lose control.”

  I grinned smugly. “Good, because that’s what you make me do. I suppose,” I ran my fingertips down his arm, “we just need to practice—a lot—so we can control everything.”

  Ash flipped me over in a sudden burst of speed. “I think I can get onboard that train of thought.” He ensnared my lips with his, and I let my eyes slide shut as I once again got lost in all things Ash.

  I lay still with my eyes closed, too tired to move, but my mind wouldn’t let sleep come to me yet. Ash wasn’t having the same problem. His chest rose and fell evenly underneath me as he slept soundly. His heartbeat thrummed steadily under my ear. It was soothing to be in his arms and to have him so relaxed. He was the part of my soul that I’d always been searching for without knowing it. We belonged together like this.