Perception

by Nicole Edwards

  She could close her eyes and still see how incredibly handsome Xander looked with her collar around his neck. But it had been his responses in the dream that always tripped her up night after night. Every time, she expected to see something different, but it was never there. It was like he was just a shell of himself. Like his body was there, but someone else had entered the right response, the right actions, hell, the right way to breathe into his brain, and that was all he knew how to do.

  Sighing, she rolled over to her side.

  Was this a sign? Was her subconscious telling her that she couldn’t do this anymore? Being a sub was… shit. It was confusing is what it was.

  The dream seemed surreal, sort of like a premonition. She couldn’t help but compare her own responses to Xander’s domination against the dream version of Xander and his responses to her. There were no similarities. She seemed suited for submission, while he… did not.

  There was no way to deny that her body was eagerly anticipating Xander and his commands. She burned hotter and brighter than ever before when she gave herself over to him completely.

  But she had a difficult time accepting her desire to submit. Especially considering what she’d been through as a child. The hell that her father had put her through every single day of her life. She didn’t want to get herself in that position ever again. Never could she allow someone else to have that sort of control over her.

  It didn’t feel that way with Xander, but the fear was still close, coming to the surface with every passing minute.

  “Let her go out with her friends, Phillip,” Priscilla argued while Mercedes stood just around the corner, watching her parents in their kitchen.

  “I told her no,” Phillip yelled. “I don’t want her out of the house.”

  “She’s sixteen. She needs to spend time with her friends.”

  “She’s too stupid to have friends,” Phillip screamed and Mercedes flinched as though she’d been slapped.

  Too stupid? Had her father really called her that?

  Sure, he’d called her many names before – pest, tramp, pain in the ass, not to mention some much, much worse. But stupid?

  She made straight A’s; she didn’t miss school, didn’t even ask to stay home when her temperature had been over one hundred, and she had been throwing up all night.

  She knew better. Her father would’ve stayed home, keeping her right under his thumb, telling her to quit faking it, to grow up. And if that didn’t work, if he didn’t get the reaction he wanted, he would hit her.

  Never did he spank her like she’d heard some parents did to their children when they were bad. No, he back handed her. Once he had even punched her in the stomach.

  Just like he did to her mother.

  And that’s what made this situation all the more surprising. Her mother was standing up for her. She was sixteen years old and for as long as she could remember, Priscilla had never stood up for her against her father. Not once.

  But here Priscilla was, standing up to her father, a gleam in her once pretty gray eyes.

  “Let her go out,” Priscilla said through gritted teeth, shocking Mercedes with her boldness.

  “Fuck you,” Phillip argued. “She’s staying right here. Until she turns eighteen. Then she can do whatever the fuck she wants. She can go out and fuck the defensive line for her school’s pitiful excuse for a football team for all I care.”

  What? Mercedes couldn’t believe her father was saying such disgusting things. She was a freaking virgin.

  “You’re too hard on her,” Priscilla said, that eerie glow still in her eyes.

  “And you’re a pitiful excuse for a human being,” he barked. “But I fucked you once and you fucked me for the rest of my life. So this is what you get. But don’t worry, the day she turns eighteen, neither of you will see me again.”

  “I hate you!” Priscilla yelled.

  “Not nearly as much as I hate you,” Phillip growled.

  Mercedes didn’t stick around to listen to more. She turned on her heels just in time to hear the loud smack that she’d been waiting for. He’d hit her mother. Again.

  As she closed her bedroom door, Mercedes took a deep breath. It wouldn’t last long, she knew that much. Even abusing them took too much effort for Phillip. Instead, he would leave her mother lying on the floor wherever she fell. And once Priscilla pulled herself up off the ground, she would head to the medicine cabinet to find something to alleviate the pain.

  That’s how it always happened.

  Mercedes blinked, and the room came into focus.

  God, she hated thinking about her parents. She wanted to scream at them for all they’d put her through. It was their fault she was the way that she was.

  It was why she insisted on dominating people. It was why she’d become so successful. She’d turned her hatred for them into success because she hadn’t had a choice.

  And that’s why she didn’t want to give up control. She’d spent every single day of her life up until she was eighteen years old living with a man who wanted to punish her because he felt as though his life sucked. She was a mistake, one he wished he could’ve taken back. But since she’d been born, despite his desire for her mother to have an abortion, Phillip Bryant had made it his mission to ruin their lives as well.

  “Good morning.”

  The sexy, rough grumble of Xander’s voice startled her, but she tried to play it off, turning her head slowly to see him moving toward her.

  “Morning,” she said, her voice still raspy from sleep. Yeah, that definitely wasn’t emotion lodged deep in her throat.

  “Sleep well?”

  She didn’t answer, but she forced a nod. That was the best she could do because honestly, she didn’t know if she did or not. It all seemed to depend on how she interpreted that dream.

  “Do you know what today is?” he asked.

  Mercedes frowned, doing her best to think. “Monday?”

  “It’s Monday,” he confirmed, a sexy smirk on his lips. “It’s also BDSM night at Devotion.”

  Oh, crap. That meant…

  “That means today is my day,” she said, trying to sound excited by the idea. Maybe that’s what the dream was about. Or at least why she’d had it last night. Because today was the day she would own Xander Boone, even if for just a little while.

  “Tonight is your night,” he corrected as he crawled over her, his muscles tensing as he held himself above her.

  He was on the wrong side of naked in her opinion, wearing only a pair of black boxer briefs and a mischievous smile, the titanium bars in his nipples drawing her attention to his chest. She gazed at him momentarily, her eyes trailing down until they stopped on the word “Trust” scrolled along his side.

  Trust.

  That’s what it all boiled down to, didn’t it?

  “And that means?” she asked, lifting her gaze back up, hoping for clarification as she reached up and fingered his nipples.

  She needed a distraction. And he was perfect for the role.

  “I agreed to let you top me. You wanted the first time to be at Devotion. That means while we’re there tonight, I’ll be at your mercy. Until then,” he mumbled, nuzzling his mouth against her neck, “you’re mine.”

  Why that didn’t bother her, she had no idea. Four days ago, she probably would’ve argued and told him that wasn’t the deal. But, technically – and yes, Xander was all about technicalities – it was. She had only requested that she be allowed to dominate him in public – once at Devotion and another at a place of her choosing. When she wanted. Didn’t mean it would be during their five day time frame either. No, she was reserving that date for a time and place that would offer the most optimum payback.

  Pretty optimistic of her, she knew.

  If she were completely honest with herself, she never thought this night would happen when she originally requested it, so, for now, she’d let him have his way.

  But tonight…

  Yeah, tonight he was all hers.
>
  Chapter Thirty One

  As part owner of Devotion, Xander had several reservations about what was about to happen. For one, submitting to Mercedes, even if it was a one time – or rather two time – deal wasn’t at the top of his list of things he wanted to accomplish in his lifetime.

  Actually, it wasn’t even on the list.

  However, he had seen that familiar spark in her eyes earlier when they’d left his condo, right after she’d given him strict instruction as to how the night would go. He had complied half-heartedly, hating himself for agreeing to this in the first place.

  If the woman thought it went against her nature to submit, she had no fucking clue what it was like for him. Even if it meant he was fulfilling a fantasy of hers – her words exactly – he felt the animal beneath his skin itching to get free.

  When they’d arrived at the club, he had allowed the valet to take his Escalade while he walked Mercedes inside, still being the perfect gentleman he was raised to be. But it was the moment they stepped into the club proper that his world tipped on its axis. And not in a good way either.

  She’d warned him of her expectations so he’d gone along with it. After all, tomorrow morning – when their time was officially over – would depend on his participation tonight, even he knew that much.

  Thankfully, she had allowed him to wear his comfortable attire, which consisted of leather pants, his shit kickers and a plain black t-shirt. She’d handpicked everything from his closet earlier, and he’d been impressed.

  But, that’s where his comfort level took a quick nosedive.

  It wasn’t that he had a problem being partially naked in public. That didn’t bother him in the least. But removing his shirt so that everyone could see the thick black collar that now wrapped like a noose around his neck wasn’t thrilling him at all.

  Shit, at this point, he wasn’t sure he’d even be able to convince his dick that this would be worth his while.

  As he reached for the drinks he’d ordered at the bar, he felt the weight of the huge leather cuffs that wrapped around his arms and he fought the urge to groan. Another of Mercedes’s “surprises” for him tonight.

  The woman was pushing her luck. Up to this point, he thought he’d been somewhat of a good sport about this. Thank God he’d be the one in control as soon as they made it back to his condo because he was going to tan her ass for putting him through this shit.

  He made his way back to where Mercedes was standing, handing her the drink she’d requested. As he stood beside her, he kept his attention focused solely on her. It was that or possibly rip the fucking collar off of his neck and use it to bind her hands behind her back so he could take her nine ways to Sunday right there at the fucking bar.

  The look she shot him would’ve had a weaker man cowering. She was going to push her limits tonight; it was written clearly in her beautiful gray eyes.

  His attention was drawn to a sound across the room, and Xander looked up to see Shane laughing at something Luke McCoy said.

  Just fucking great.

  It looked like Mercedes was going to have her work cut out for her tonight because he wasn’t feeling especially submissive. Exactly the opposite. And maybe that’s what she needed. Topping from the bottom was something he despised, but it was also something he could master in the situation he was currently in. Based on the way Mercedes had submitted to him so sweetly over the last few days, he knew it wouldn’t be tough to accomplish either.

  He glanced around the room as he waited for to command him to do something, wishing like hell they’d just get on with it. As it was, it seemed everyone who was anyone was there tonight.

  Of course, he noticed Sam and Logan were sitting on one of the couches closer to the glass enclosed rooms talking to Sierra and Cole, who looked way too cozy at the moment.

  He wondered how long before Mercedes noticed they’d shown up tonight. Or how long it would take for her to interact with them. If it had been him in control, after all that had happened since their first trip to Devotion, he could easily figure out a way to work Sam and Logan into tonight’s festivities.

  Shit.

  Glancing down, he noticed she was watching them intently, probably trying to mentally will them to see her. Or him. Or both of them.

  Fucking hell.

  If she had any intention of inviting them to watch, or worse, participate, he was going to lose his shit.

  Then again, Mercedes was acting different tonight. Quite frankly, she’d been acting strange since he found her lying in his bed that morning. She’d been lost in thought when he approached, and it hadn’t been until he spoke that she even realized he was in the room.

  They’d been apart during the day because work had gotten in the way, but as soon as she walked into his condo that evening, she’d taken the reins and was holding them tight, fully morphing into the Mistress she was known to be.

  His only hope would be to get her naked so he could slake his lust inside of her. If that were to happen, he didn’t give a shit who stood by to watch. So, maybe, if he were lucky, he might just get something out of this.

  Then again, if she wanted to keep it one on one between the two of them, no one around to see how hot she made him burn, he was all for that as well. He could think of a million ways to make her scream his name, didn’t matter if she believed she was the top or the bottom. He didn’t give a fuck either way.

  “Are you ready?” Mercedes asked him several minutes later as she set her empty glass on the bar.

  He downed what was left of his Glenlivet before turning to face her. Just for the hell of it, he didn’t answer, just nodded his head. The way she cocked her eyebrows almost made him smile, but he managed to hold it back. Just the little act of not verbally responding was enough for her to think about all of the ways she could punish him and quite frankly, Xander was looking forward to seeing her do her worst.

  “I want you one step behind me at all times,” she ordered, and he immediately remembered the first theme night they’d attended just a few short days ago. He’d said something very close to that to her.

  When she turned away, just because he could, he took a moment to admire her beautiful body. The woman made his blood burn hot, and it didn’t matter if she was wearing the demure silk that he preferred to see her in or in the sexy Domme-wear she sported now. Hell, she could’ve been naked because when she got that air of confidence about her, he lusted after her all the more.

  Again, it was all about stirring things up a bit.

  He followed Mercedes, knowing full well she intended to head over to Shane because that was going to be her way of punishing him for what he’d put her through the last few days. And since he’d already defied her once since their arrival, he knew she’d be keeping track of his transgressions from here on out.

  Considering he knew Samantha and Logan were watching, Xander decided tonight might just be the night to introduce them to what it meant to be a defiant sub. After all, he could be a teacher no matter which role he was in.

  “Shane, good to see you,” Mercedes greeted as the pair hugged and kissed one another briefly.

  Xander didn’t allow the chaste kiss to upset him, although he had the urge to punch Shane in his too pretty face. Rather than give the man something to remember, Xander stood one step behind her as instructed and glared down at Shane with a smirk on his face.

  “Looks like your sub’s a little cocky tonight,” Shane said, unable to disguise his amusement with the situation.

  You’re a dead man, Xander mouthed, making sure Shane read his lips perfectly.

  Shane laughed, causing Mercedes to turn and look back at him, taking a moment to study him as she did, and Xander made sure the smirk was gone.

  “It would seem so,” she said absently. “I think I have a good idea on how to take care of that though.”

  Xander cocked an eyebrow as he met her gaze, unwilling to look away. He wanted to know what she had in mind. He’d half hoped she would’ve laid out her pl
an for the night prior to their arrival, but she’d kept the majority of the details to herself. It appeared she was going to surprise him. That was ok too. He liked surprises. Monotony wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

  “Care to watch?” she asked Shane, never taking her eyes off of Xander.

  “Depends,” Shane grinned like a fool. “As much as I’d love to see you beat his ass, I’m waiting for someone. She should be here any minute. If you can wait a few minutes, I’d be happy to watch. Or even participate.”

  Xander was going to put a serious hurt on the man if he didn’t shut the fuck up.

  “We’d like to watch.” The voice came from behind Xander and he did his best not to turn around, but he knew without looking who it was.

  Samantha McCoy.

  Lord kill him now.

  “Is that right?” Mercedes asked, turning to address Samantha with a stunning smile on her lovely face. From what Xander could tell, she definitely liked the idea of Sam watching whatever she had in store for him tonight.

  “If that’s all right with you, of course,” Sam amended.

  Xander edged around, trying to stay one step behind Mercedes as instructed. He wanted to see Sam as she addressed Mercedes, wondering whether she’d even noticed the drastic role switch they’d done for the night.

  “I’ve reserved room three,” Mercedes informed Sam, her hand lifting in the direction of the glass rooms that stood proudly in the center of the main floor. “If you’d like, you can have a front row seat.”

  Room three? Fucking hell. He’d been hoping for a private room, but he shouldn’t have expected any less.

  “We’ll be in a private room upstairs,” another voice claimed from behind him and this time Xander turned around. He knew that voice.

  Shit.

  Elijah Penn.

  Fuck. Could this night get any worse?

  Xander watched as Sam turned to face Elijah, her eyes widening with obvious appreciation as he moved in closer.

  “A private room?” Samantha asked.