Oh, fuck. Please let her use her safe word.
Clarissa reached for the condom, but her hands were no longer trembling, they were shaking like a leaf in hurricane force winds. As soon as she plucked the condom from Mercedes’s long, slender fingers, Clarissa dropped it on the floor.
Clarissa reached for it, her eyes darting up to Xander and then Mercedes and back once again. He wanted to shake his head, to encourage her not to go through with it. Before he had the option, the end of the riding crop came up to rest beneath his chin, and Xander lifted his eyes to meet Mercedes’s glowing gray gaze.
“I want you to watch the pretty little sub’s mouth wrapped around your cock.”
The only sound that could be heard was Clarissa’s rapid gasps and the rustle of Shane’s clothing as he moved somewhere in the background.
Xander stared back at Mercedes, praying like hell she’d realize just what was going on here, stop before the damage could be undone. Or maybe that’s what she wanted. Maybe she wanted Xander to be with Clarissa so that she could use it against him.
He saw the battle in her eyes, saw that she was just as tormented as he felt, but she wasn’t going to cave. She was trying to prove something here, but fuck it all. He didn’t give a good goddamn about proving anything.
Not when it came to his love for Mercedes.
The instant she looked away, Xander said, “Red.”
Her eyes darted up to meet his.
“What did you say?”
“Red.” There was absolutely no mistaking the fact that he was using his safe word.
He saw the relief that flooded her face before she quickly masked it, doing her best to cover it up with something else. But no matter what she wanted him to believe, Xander knew the truth.
Xander didn’t see Shane move, but he noticed Clarissa getting to her feet. He looked up at his friend just in time to see the realization on Shane’s face.
Yeah, I went there, he thought to himself. I fucking love her.
Xander was pretty sure Shane knew everything he was feeling.
Without a sound, Shane helped Clarissa slip back into her dress, and the two of them disappeared out of the room.
When the door closed behind them, Mercedes moved over to the wall. She hit a button that released the chains and then another that flipped the glass from clear to opaque, sealing them somewhat from prying eyes. It wasn’t until she hit the button to turn off the microphones that she finally spoke.
“Why?”
“Why what?” he asked, pretending to be oblivious to what she was referring to.
“Why did you use your safe word?”
Xander didn’t answer immediately. He waited for her to come over to release him from the chains that still restrained his arms and legs.
He wasn’t about to make the biggest admission of his life while he was in a fucking playroom at the club, chained to the wall. Knowing that Mercedes would likely flee the room and leave him there, he decided to wait.
She must’ve realized it too.
~~**~~**~~
Mercedes was barely breathing. There was a roaring in her ears that had nothing to do with anger and everything to do with relief.
Xander had used his safe word.
Because of her.
For the last few minutes, Mercedes had been praying Clarissa would safe word. Wishing like hell the nervous little sub would save them all from themselves.
But she hadn’t, and Mercedes had been terrified of going any further. She didn’t want Clarissa touching Xander. Didn’t want to watch anyone touching him.
For some unknown reason, her scene had taken a drastic turn somewhere along the way, and it had been all her fault. But right then and there, the scene was the last thing she worried about. She didn’t care that Clarissa and Shane would likely think of her as a failure. She didn’t care that half of the club would think that either.
At this point, the only thing she wanted to do was to come with Xander’s cock lodged deep inside of her. To feel him against her. Anything to get Xander’s hands on her, even if it meant handing over the control to him. He had effectively destroyed her defenses, making her lose her touch, but she really didn’t care. Not right then at least.
Unable to hold back any longer, Mercedes moved to release Xander from his restraints. Neither of them said a word, but the nonverbal communication between them was loud and clear.
The look in Xander’s eyes stole the oxygen from her lungs.
For the last half hour, she’d wanted nothing more than to abandon the scene. It was selfish to put her own needs above everyone else’s, but for the life of her, she couldn’t go through with it.
Even now, she knew Xander would be more than happy to take over from there because he was a Dom, and she was… an imposter.
She knew she should consider this the ultimate defeat, but it didn’t change the fact that she could hardly breathe for wanting him.
Once he was freed, Mercedes stood motionless in front of him, watching, waiting.
“This is still your show,” he whispered. “What do you want?”
“What do you mean ‘what do I want’? I failed, Xander. It’s done.”
“Not even close,” he growled. “Tell me what you want me to do.”
Mercedes didn’t understand what he was doing. Why wasn’t he taking over? Why wasn’t he forcing her to do what he wanted?
“We aren’t walking out of here until we’re through here.”
“We are—” through. Mercedes couldn’t say it. She didn’t want it to be true. She didn’t want what they had to be over, and she knew he was giving her a chance to redeem herself. To take back the scene that had gone horribly wrong.
“Pick up right where we left off,” he told her, but he wasn’t commanding her. He was making a request.
Mercedes stared at him in disbelief for a long moment before she said, “Sit in that chair with your legs wide.”
Xander gripped the chair that was in the corner and set it down beside where they stood before lowering himself into it. Without another word, he spread his legs wide. His thick, heavy cock was like a steel rod standing proudly against his belly, his muscles tense, but he had a smile on his handsome face.
“Come here.” He urged. Still not a command.
Mercedes realized then that she wanted him to take over from here. Because for her, it no longer mattered who held the reins. This man owned her. Every piece of her.
Walking around to stand between his spread thighs, Mercedes put his hands on her hips as she looked down at him, still trying to hold on to the last sliver of control that even she knew had disintegrated a long time ago.
“I want to ride your cock. Right here, right now,” she told him, trying to play along.
Xander nodded, and Mercedes gripped his dark hair tightly. If she had been thinking like a true Domme, his lack of response would’ve angered her, but she was long past that. She wasn’t able to keep up the perfect Domme routine. Not with him.
Hooking her left leg on the outside of Xander’s thick right thigh, Mercedes gripped his erection in her fist and guided him inside of her before sinking down on him slowly.
“Oh, God,” she moaned, pressing her cheek against his. “X,” she pleaded quietly. “Please.”
She allowed her body to adjust to the blunt intrusion, and once she could take him deeper, she relied on Xander’s firm grip on her hips to hold her as she raised up and hooked her right leg over his left leg until she was straddling his lap, his cock buried to the hilt inside of her.
“Fuck me, X. Please,” she moaned, moving her mouth to his, unable to keep from kissing him.
The way Xander gripped her hips, lifting her until only the head of his cock was penetrating her, and then lowering her roughly, Mercedes knew he was right there on the edge with her.
She was in public, even if the audience could only see shadows through the opaque glass, but none of it mattered. As far as she was concerned, they were the only two people i
n the entire world.
What that said about her, she didn’t know, and she no longer cared.
“Fuck me harder,” she encouraged, gripping his shoulders as she stared down at him. The intensity in his gaze was her lifeline, and she clung to it.
Xander held her hips tightly, pulling her flush against him and then lifting her, his cock thrusting up into her from below until the friction all but consumed her, his cock nailing her G-spot with every deep stroke. Mercedes was suspended by a thread, hovering on the edge of an orgasm so explosive, she wasn’t sure she’d survive it.
With her eyes still locked with his, she ran her hands over the chiseled features of his ruggedly beautiful face, desperately holding on to that connection that she knew she would feel lost without.
No matter what she’d originally thought, her pleasure was owned by this one man. Her perception of what she had wanted was clearly skewed and without Xander she would’ve felt lost and helpless. But Xander eased her, gave her strength, made her feel. And nothing else mattered except him.
Her pleasure was in his hands, and she knew she could give herself up to him completely and never have to worry. He’d be there to catch her when she fell.
And she was falling. Desperately. And fast.
Sucking his bottom lip into her mouth, she gently nipped him, his cock pulsing deep inside of her as the pain registered.
“Are you ready to come for me?” This time he was the one to ask, but his words were a mere puff of air against her ear. He was allowing her to save face, even when no one else was in the room to know.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Then come for me, pet,” he encouraged. “Come on my cock. Let me feel you.”
“Oh, God.” That’s all she needed. His permission. Not the other way around. One more forceful thrust of his hips and she was flying into orbit, Xander’s hands gripping her ass, bracing her.
When she thought she could take no more, he surprised her when he pushed to his feet, the chair he had been sitting in falling over and crashing to the floor.
With her arms around his neck, he held her like she weighed nothing as he began pounding up into her while she worked her hips down onto him at the same time.
“God, I love your pussy,” he growled. “Come for me again, Mercedes. Come for me now.” Xander groaned, and the words sent her flying over the edge, oblivious to her own guttural cries as she came.
She was only aware of the pulse of Xander’s cock deep inside of her as he came, his body stone still as he held her until they were both sated completely.
For now, Mercedes was going to enjoy that euphoric feeling.
Later, much, much later, she was going to have to play out the scene in her head just to figure out where things went completely awry.
Chapter Thirty Six
T Minus Zero…
Tuesday
“Meet me for dinner?” Xander asked when Mercedes answered her cell phone the following afternoon.
“Where?” she asked as she clutched the phone in her hand. At the mere sound of his voice, her spirits lifted for the first time all day.
She’d spent way too many hours fretting over the fact that Xander had left her alone for most of the day. That and why he seemed to be putting distance between them.
She listened while he rumbled off the name of the most romantic, not to mention the most expensive restaurant in downtown Dallas. It wasn’t his favorite place, but he knew that she liked it.
“What time?”
“Seven thirty.”
Mercedes knew she probably paused a little too long because Xander followed up with, “Logan and Sam will be meeting us there as well.”
Ok, so clearly this wasn’t meant to be a romantic evening out. Not that she had expected it to be.
She’d only hoped.
“I’ll meet you there.”
“Oh, and Mercedes…”
Mercedes waited for Xander to finish, but he didn’t. Unable to bear the silence any longer, she asked, “Is something wrong?”
“Nothing at all. I just… I think we need to talk. See you at seven thirty.”
With that, the call disconnected, and Mercedes fumbled her phone. They needed to talk?
Shit. Shit. Shit.
That couldn’t be good.
Was he still pissed at her for disappearing before he got out of bed that morning? He’d certainly appeared angry when he showed up at her door partially dressed, but she thought he was fine when he left a short while later.
In her defense, their five days were up as of that morning. She probably could’ve argued that point last night and spent the entire night alone in her own bed. But she’d chickened out, wanting – no, needing – one last night with him.
Great.
Now she was rattled as well as out of sorts. Her mind was coming up with a myriad of things that could be wrong, including Xander’s disappointment in her. She’d failed last night, she knew that. The scene had gotten completely out of hand. She’d pushed both Clarissa and Xander hard; harder than she intended.
Seriously. It had all been done in fear. Fear of what she was beginning to feel for Xander. Fear for what she wanted from him. And she had almost pushed them to the point of no return. Had it not been for him, that’s exactly where they would be right then. And there wouldn’t be a dinner invitation. Business or otherwise.
Placing her phone into the cup holder, Mercedes gripped the wheel with both hands, trying to keep her hands from shaking.
This was it. Xander was going tell her thanks for the memories, but he preferred that they go back to just being friends. Or worse, maybe he was going to tell her that he couldn’t even be friends anymore.
Breathe.
Mercedes took a deep breath as she came to a stop at a red light. She was overreacting. She had to be. Xander hadn’t seemed at all upset when he left her alone in her condo after their heated discussion. It wasn’t quite an argument because Xander hadn’t pressed the issue and he never once raised his voice.
Even though they hadn’t kissed and made up, - but why would they if their time was officially over – he had wrapped her in his arms and held her before he turned and walked out the same way he came. He wouldn’t have done that if he was going to tell her he didn’t want to at least be friends, would he?
No. Xander wasn’t made that way. He was as straightforward as they came. He would’ve called her to the carpet, addressed the issue at the time.
So what did he want to talk about?
Putting her foot on the gas pedal, Mercedes focused on the drive to the restaurant.
Although she hadn’t eaten anything all day, she wasn’t sure she could eat now if she was forced to.
He wanted to talk.
They needed to talk.
And so what if he did let her down easy. It wouldn’t matter. She had known from the start that this wasn’t going to work.
Keep telling yourself that.
It didn’t matter that he’d made her feel things she’d never expected. It didn’t matter that she’d let herself fall just a little bit in love with him. None of it mattered because it was just a deal. An experiment. And she knew from the beginning that it would come to an end.
So why did she suddenly want to cry?
~~*~~*~~
Xander waited at the bar of one of Mercedes’s favorite restaurants for her to arrive. He’d spent the better part of the day traveling – a trip he hadn’t been able to put off – and when his jet had landed just an hour before, he had called her up and asked her to meet him for dinner.
She had graciously accepted, although he had sensed reluctance in her tone. It wasn’t until he informed her that they’d be meeting with Logan and Samantha McCoy that she seemed to relax. What that was about, he had no idea, but he hadn’t asked either.
He should probably thank Logan for calling him with the last minute dinner request because otherwise, he’d probably be drinking at home.
Alone.
�
�Another,” he told the bartender when the man made his way over.
“Yes, sir.”
Xander was tired. He was stressed. And he was anxious to see Mercedes even if he did have to spend dinner discussing business with Logan. Mercedes’s presence would make it all worth it.
Although it had technically been five days since they’d embarked on this adventure, Xander wasn’t ready for it to be over. He found that he enjoyed Mercedes’s company, and being away from her, even for a few short hours, hadn’t been the highlight of his day.
A soft hand touched his back and Xander turned to see Mercedes standing beside him. “Hey,” she greeted. “You ok?”
Better now, he thought to himself. But he said, “Hungry. You?”
“Starving, actually.” It was a lie, he could tell, but he didn’t call her on it. “Are Logan and Samantha here yet?”
Yes, he had definitely come to the right conclusion. Mercedes was happy to have Logan and Sam along tonight. Probably because she was looking to put some distance between them, and Logan and Sam would act as a nice buffer.
Not that he blamed her. After last night, he wasn’t sure how she would respond to him today. That was partially why he’d given her some space by informing her he had to go out of town. What he had wanted to do was invite her, but he knew she had needed some time to herself.
So he had graciously given her the entire day in the hopes that the time she had to herself would allow her to realize... Hell, he wasn’t even sure what he hoped she would realize. That he loved her? That she loved him? That being with her was exactly where he wanted to be, regardless of who was dominating who.
Apparently a full day to herself didn’t seem to be long enough if the way she was glancing around the room was any indication.
“They’re on the way,” he informed her. “I asked them to meet us at eight.” It was only half past seven, so they still had some time. He’d done that on purpose also. “Have a seat,” he said, keeping his tone firm as he pulled out the high-back barstool beside him.
Mercedes gracefully took a seat next to him, and when the bartender returned with his drink, Xander allowed her to order for herself. Although he could’ve easily made the selection for her. She ordered white wine, her usual M.O. at this particular establishment.
Perception Page 31
