Perception

by Nicole Edwards

  “But now you know how easy it was to get me to submit to you,” Mercedes responded, confusion riddling her words.

  “Easy?” Xander laughed, but there wasn’t an ounce of humor in it. “Honey, there hasn’t been anything easy about you. Not since the day I met you. And definitely not in the last few days.” Xander gave her a small smile. “You’re one of the most hard-headed women I’ve ever met. You’re strong. Confident. Independent. And you fucking make my blood boil.” Cupping her face with his hand, he leaned in closer. “Last night, you made me burn for you. I was willing to do damn near anything to just be near you. But only you. No one else. Don’t you see that?”

  Mercedes stared back at him, tears glistening on her long lashes. “I’m weak.”

  “The hell you are,” he argued. “And if you keep this up, I’m going to bend you over my knee, Mercedes. This isn’t who you are.”

  “It is. I’m a submissive, Xander. This is exactly who I am.”

  “Is that what you think? That submitting to someone means you’re weak?” He knew she did, but he wanted to force her to think it through. “Is it? Do you truly believe that being a Domme gives you all the power? Have you learned absolutely nothing in the last few days?”

  Mercedes tried to push away from him, obviously pissed at his accusations. He didn’t let her go.

  “Being a Dom doesn’t define me. And being a submissive doesn’t define you.”

  “Oh, but it does,” she argued, anger burning bright in her eyes.

  “It’s about perception, Mercedes. You see what you want to see. Everyone sees what they want to see. When we were at Devotion, and I had you strapped to that bench, do you think I was in control? No, pet, you were.” Xander wiped away a tear that slid down her cheek, lowering his voice. “You’ve been in control since the moment I met you. Since the very first time I laid eyes on you. It didn’t matter whether you were submitting to me or not.”

  “I don’t feel in control. I hate this, Xander. I don’t want to roll over and give up. I spent too many years doing just that.”

  “I don’t want you to give up either. I want you to fight. Fight for this. Fight for… us.”

  “But you want me to submit to you.”

  “Yes, I did. I still do. Because I want you. I want to take care of you, Mercedes. I want to give you what you need. I want to bind you to me, to know that I mean as much to you as you mean to me. But I want so much more than your submission.”

  “I grew up submitting. He broke me. He broke my mother. All of my choices were taken away. He ruled everything.”

  By “he”, Xander knew she was referring to her father. The son of a bitch didn’t deserve to be walking.

  “You weren’t submitting, Mercedes. You were reacting. It wasn’t submission; it was self-preservation. He was a bastard for what he did to you and your mother. Don’t ever compare the two. It isn’t the same.”

  “What’s the difference?” she asked, her lips trembling.

  “Love,” he said easily.

  Mercedes tried to step back again, looking as though he’d slapped her when he said the single word that he had a feeling scared her the most.

  “I love you, Mercedes,” he told her as he wrapped his arms around her waist, not letting her get away from him. “I have always loved you. I loved you before you submitted, and I love you just as much, if not more, now.”

  Her eyes widened, but she stopped trying to get away.

  He had absolutely no idea what she was thinking, but at least, for the moment, she was right where he wanted her. In his arms.

  ~~*~~*~~

  Mercedes was pretty sure she was hearing things.

  Xander loved her? That’s what she thought she heard him say, but it couldn’t be true. Could it?

  Before she had the chance to ask him to repeat what he’d said, Xander kissed her.

  It was gentle and sweet, and it made her skin tingle from the inside out. His lips whispered over hers, and her heart felt like it tumbled in her chest. It was a kiss, but it was so much more.

  “I love you,” he said again. “And I’m not saying that as a Dom to a submissive. I’m saying that as a man to a woman.”

  This time, Mercedes heard him loud and clear. Taking a moment to study him, she peered into his eyes, trying to read between the lines.

  But that was the problem. There weren’t any lines. This was Xander. He didn’t play games and he damn sure didn’t say things that he didn’t mean.

  “You love me?” she asked incredulously, her voice hoarse from her tears.

  “More than anything.”

  Xander pressed his lips to hers once again, but not quite as gently. She could taste the bourbon on his tongue, but not only that. There was something else. Passion. Love. Acceptance. That’s what she tasted.

  He wanted her.

  He loved her.

  Mercedes wrapped her arms around him and held him close, the tears breaking free as he continued to kiss her.

  Never in her life had she felt like this. Like her entire being was made up of air, and she was going to float away if she didn’t hang on. God, if this were what love felt like, then she knew for a fact that she’d never even come close to loving someone in all of her life. Not like this.

  Long minutes passed before Xander pulled back. When he did, Mercedes was scared to let him go. She didn’t want to wake up to find herself alone in her bed – to find out that this had all been a dream.

  Xander chuckled as he pulled her arms from around him, taking her hands in his and leading her toward her bed.

  “I want to make love to you,” he told her, his eyes mysteriously shiny. “Just you and me. No Doms or submissives. Just the two of us tonight. Understand?”

  Mercedes nodded, lacing her fingers with his and allowing him to pull her closer as he sat on the edge of the bed.

  This time when he pulled her against him, she gave in. She allowed herself to feel everything he was offering her. Allowed herself to love and be loved at the same time. Something she had always been too scared to do.

  Her Domme armor crumbled into dust just from his touch. She knew there was no going back. Not at this point. But Mercedes didn’t want to go back. He’d stripped her emotionally and built her back up all within a breath. With just three words that she had longed to hear, longed to feel.

  I love you.

  Another rush of tears filled her eyes, but she let them fall.

  It didn’t take long before they were naked, their bodies in perfect tune with one another as Xander hovered above her on the bed. He was still kissing her, and she was still hanging on for dear life. In fact, Mercedes wasn’t sure she was ever going to let him go.

  Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.

  “Love me, Mercedes,” Xander whispered against her mouth as he slid inside of her.

  Wrapping her legs around his waist, she urged him closer, trying to feel the full length of his body against hers. But Xander was on to her because he shifted positions, lifting her right leg up which changed the angle, and he penetrated her deeper, making her moan.

  He stopped kissing her, his eyes locked with hers as he slowly thrust forward, pausing. “You’re my everything, Mercedes,” Xander whispered.

  Mercedes couldn’t stop the next wave of tears. But he must’ve realized they weren’t from fear or pain. They were tears of hope and love. Tears she never expected to cry, but for this man, she realized anything was possible.

  Mercedes still couldn’t speak, her heart lodged in her throat. The best she could do was breathe and fight to keep her gaze locked with his. She wanted him to see everything she felt, to know exactly what he meant to her. Dom or sub, it didn’t matter. Just like he said.

  “Mercedes,” Xander growled softly, his hips moving, his strokes deepening until she felt all of him. “Baby.”

  When his eyes closed, Mercedes reached up and cupped his face. “Look at me,” she begged. Although she’d meant it as a command, it came out more as a plea, but Xan
der opened his eyes. “I love you,” she whispered to him and Xander stilled. Right there, lodged deep inside of her he went stone still.

  “Aww, hell,” he growled. “Say it again, Mercedes. Tell me you love me.”

  Mercedes thrust her hips upward, trying to drive him deeper. The movement elicited another groan from him, but then he was moving again, never looking away from her face.

  “I love you, Xander Boone. I love you so much.”

  “I can’t hold back, baby. I need you too much.”

  Xander growled, his release clearly taking him by surprise. And her too because as soon as he came, Mercedes saw everything she’d been hoping to see right there in his beautiful eyes.

  And that’s when she tipped right over the edge with him.

  Chapter Thirty Eight

  Six months later, January…

  At the grand opening of Alluring Indulgence Resort

  “I hope you know what you’re doing,” Mercedes said, a pretty pout on her lips.

  “I always know what I’m doing,” he assured her. Granted this time he wasn’t quite as confident. He’d already attempted this once, and he wasn’t exactly sure what made them think it would work a second time, but here they were.

  Acting as Mercedes’s submissive for this one last scene was going to take a certain set of skills he didn’t think he even possessed. It wasn’t all that much different than the night at Devotion, but he remembered clearly how that had turned out. A total fucking disaster.

  And to make it worse, the Walker brothers were hanging around which didn’t make him at all eager to take those stairs down to the first floor.

  In truth, after the way that night had turned out, he hadn’t expected Mercedes to follow through with the second request, but it had inadvertently come up in conversation just a week ago. At first, he thought she was going to try to talk herself out of it, but Xander had insisted.

  It didn’t mean he was at all happy or that he didn’t hate that he would have to pretend to submit once more. But he did know, with absolute certainty that he could not go back on his word. They’d had an agreement. She would submit to him if he submitted to her.

  It didn’t seem to matter that she’d submitted to him completely for all these months either. A deal was a deal.

  However, he was glad to see that there was a significant difference between this scene and the one they’d done at Devotion when she had successfully restrained him and blown his mind with her dominance, even though she had considered that night a failure.

  First, he wasn’t wearing a collar.

  Second, he wasn’t weighed down by wrist shackles.

  And third, they’d talked and come up with a plan ahead of time so there wouldn’t be any surprises.

  He’d appreciated all of those points considering they were at Alluring Indulgence, and the Walkers would be present. Based on what they had predetermined, if things went accordingly, he wasn’t even sure people would realize what they were seeing. He knew what they would expect to see though, so it would probably work out in both of their favors.

  It was all about perception.

  His.

  Hers.

  And everyone else’s.

  It was true, people only saw what they wanted to see. In this case, it didn’t matter whether they believed the man was always the Dom, or that the Dom wielded all the power. There was a drastic difference between what they wanted to see and what reality was.

  “Since you’re so confident, then what are we waiting for?” Mercedes asked him – he knew it was rhetorical – as she turned toward the sweeping staircase that would take them to the main area on the first floor.

  It wasn’t like it was a death march, but Xander preferred to pretend not to think about what they were doing or where they were going. Instead, he busied himself with checking out the beautiful woman who was now leading the way. He was supposed to be playing a part, keeping his eyes forward, not ogling her, but the woman was absolutely breathtaking, and he found himself devoid of any and all willpower where she was concerned.

  They were in costume, as Mercedes had put it. He wore nothing more than a pair of leather pants, his shit kickers and sterling silver hoops in his nipples. He’d traded the titanium bars for the hoops at the last minute and the way Mercedes had eyed him had given him the courage to go through with this.

  No one ever said you had to be submissive to seek approval from the person that you loved. Xander was certainly no exception. To know that she was going to enjoy this as much as he was made it all worthwhile.

  Then again, he wasn’t the main attraction. Mercedes was. It wasn’t what he was wearing that would catch people’s attention anyway. Especially not with a tall, willowy, curvy in all the right places, incredibly beautiful woman at his side.

  Tonight, Mercedes’s body was showcased in a ruby red baby doll nighty that did little to hide the stunning body beneath. Her nipples were visible through the sheer material, and her long legs were accentuated by fishnet stockings with those sexy fuck me heels on her feet.

  But when she turned away from him, that’s when Xander’s mouth went dry. Her luscious ass was on full display, a tiny G-string doing nothing whatsoever to shield her glorious backside.

  It was an outfit very similar to the one he’d had her put on the very first night she submitted to him at Devotion. He couldn’t help but wonder whether that was intentional on her part.

  The view definitely made what was about to happen a little easier.

  Apparently someone had been thinking ahead because, as they began to descend the stairs, Erotica by Madonna began playing on the overhead speakers.

  Interesting choice.

  Doing his best to stay focused, Xander allowed Mercedes to lead him to the center of the main room, straight to the oversized, black leather, circular sofa that was the focal point of the open space. Luckily no one stopped them to chat. Xander could tolerate a lot, but tonight, he had no intention of making small talk.

  At least not until this was over.

  When they stopped at the sofa, Mercedes mumbled, “I hope you’re ready for this.”

  Taking his seat, he looked up at her, met her beautiful gray gaze and said, “Baby, you have no idea. But just wait until later. I fully intend to make your pretty ass blush with my hand.”

  His words seemed to have taken Mercedes by surprise, but to her credit, she didn’t show any outward reaction. Rather than waiting to see what she’d come back with, Xander got into position on the couch, lying flat on his back. Because of his height, he stretched from one side to the other, but nothing was hanging off, which was good.

  He couldn’t help it, he looked over, tracking her with his eyes as she came around the sofa to stand near his head.

  “Eyes above you. Not on me,” she commanded.

  His cock jerked in response. He might not submit to her by choice, but he did enjoy her demanding side from time to time.

  As the song continued, Xander freed his cock from the confining leather, stroking himself ever so slowly as he waited for Mercedes to get into position. She had strictly instructed that he was to tempt her, but he wasn’t allowed to come. For a scene, this one was incredibly tame, especially for Mercedes, but again, he hadn’t complained.

  It sure beat the alternative.

  When she kneeled over him, one knee on each side of his head, he sucked in a sharp breath, praying he would be able to control himself. As with anytime he was with her, the rest of the world receded. The only person who mattered was her, and this time wasn’t any different.

  Knowing that she was intimately watching him, Xander continued to jack his cock with one hand, the tension in his balls intensifying as her sweet scent flooded his senses. Keeping his other hand resting at his side and not touching her the way he wanted was the hardest thing about tonight. But somehow he managed.

  That’s when Mercedes blew his fucking mind. She reached one hand between her legs, sliding her thong to the side as she lowered her pussy
to his mouth.

  He could imagine what people saw when they looked at them. A wonton woman sprawled over him, ready to ride his face for all she was worth. While her obedient sub focused solely on her, his one and only goal was to make her come. With his mouth.

  With her orgasm his full priority, Xander licked her.

  Slowly at first, teasing gently before sucking her clit. It wasn’t long before she was grinding her pussy against his mouth, her soft moans vibrating through her body, not heard over the sound of the music.

  His cock was throbbing, his balls drawing up against his body as he continued to stroke himself, wishing like fuck that her mouth was on him, but that wasn’t the way it was planned. Instead, he fought the urge to come while he ate her pussy, relishing the way she was riding his face.

  It wasn’t until she came, her body shuddering above him that Xander realized just what he’d do to make the woman come undone.

  Even if it meant she would withhold his release from him. Which she evidently intended to do.

  Once she was sated – even if it were just the beginning of their night together – Mercedes crawled down him, making her way to the opposite end. When she paused, grinding her hot cunt against his straining erection, he sucked in air. Even with her panties acting as a barrier between them, he felt the wet heat and it was enough to make him nearly come in his hand.

  “Not yet,” she demanded as she glanced back over her shoulder. He could barely hear her over the music from the loud speakers and the people talking around them, but he knew what she said.

  With a dangerous chokehold on his cock, an attempt to keep from losing it right then and there, Xander started counting slowly to himself. It was the only alternative to grabbing her hips and pulling her down on top of him.

  She surprised him when she stood up. Instead of asking him to get up, like they had planned in advance, Mercedes offered him a wicked grin. One that spoke of promises and retribution.