All of Me (Compass Cove Book 3)

by Jeannie Moon

  Sometimes, all the close-knit family stuff could get on his nerves, which made him feel like the biggest shit on the planet. He knew his family would always be there for him, but he hadn’t always returned the favor.

  His grandparents had been the footing on which his family thrived, especially when his dad, their only son, died when he and his siblings were all just kids. His mother, her heart broken, kept going for her children. And over time, his grandparents healed by helping his mother hold it together.

  His memories were sketchy, but the Miller clan pulled together in times when they most needed to. Jack had never felt alone. That warmth and connection had followed him halfway around the world, penetrating war zones and black ops, giving him an anchor to home.

  The path around the side of the house was the same weathered gray cobblestone that covered the courtyard drive. The front door was closer to his mother’s cottage, but he was headed for the kitchen door, perched under a breezeway that connected the four-car garage to the house. The front door was for company, not family.

  As soon as he entered the vestibule that was attached to the kitchen, familiar sounds and smells teased his memory. He heard his grandmother’s lilting laugh, and Clarita’s musical accent. It was like a flashback to his childhood, when he’d come home from school to find the women chatting at the kitchen table over cups of coffee and whatever treat Clarita had whipped up that day.

  Standing in the kitchen doorway, the scene before him was familiar… comfortable. The two friends, older but no less connected, had a pitcher of iced tea and a bowl of sliced fruit between them. They were laughing.

  And they stopped as soon as he cleared his throat.

  “You two are up to no good,” he said. Entering the kitchen, Jack lifted the lid on the black and white cow cookie jar his grandmother had had on the counter for as long as he could remember. It was empty.

  “Don’t you even say a proper hello?” Grandma folded her arms and did her best to stare him down, but it wasn’t working. Matriarch of the clan she might be, but Jack could spot a con coming a mile away.

  “Fine… hello, ladies. Mom said you were looking for me?”

  “Yes, I was. Lilly said you two were going out on the boat later? It’s a nice night for a sail. Taking a picnic?”

  She wasn’t even subtle.

  “I was going to go to the deli,” he offered. “Pick up sandwiches.”

  “The deli?” Clarita waved him off. “So much money. We will make you some sandwiches.”

  “I can afford a couple of sandwiches.”

  “No, don’t be silly.” Grandmother patted his hand. “Stop by before you leave. Chef will have the cooler packed. I thought I’d have more people underfoot this week with the wedding being so close, but no one is arriving for a few days. I have plenty of food. She can whip up something.”

  Jack was about to argue, but realized he wasn’t going to get anywhere with the two of them. It was a cooler of food. Innocent. It would save him a trip to the deli. “You’re sure? I don’t want you to go through any trouble.”

  “Oh, it’s no trouble.” Grandma’s eyes went wide. “I like that you and Lilly are spending time together. She’s lovely.”

  “She is. Very lovely.” Don’t say too much, Miller. Stop talking. “It will be good to have a little down time before all the wedding craziness kicks into gear.”

  “I’m so looking forward to the wedding. Aren’t you, Clarita?” She waved her hands around. “Love and romance will be in the air.”

  Lilly’s abuela nodded. “Love tends to be contagious. We can only hope.”

  These two really had to work on their game. He was amused, but Jack had no intention of giving them an inch of information. “I’m going to go shower off my workout. Thank you, Grandma, for making the picnic. I’ll be by about four.”

  “It will be all ready.”

  Each woman received the kiss he planted on their cheeks. Clarita patted his hand when he leaned in. “You have a good time. Help Lilliana have some fun. She needs some.”

  “You got it. Fun. I’ll tell her it’s been decreed.”

  “Go.” His grandmother waved him toward the door. “I’ll see you later.”

  As soon as Jack stepped outside, he heard them laugh again, most likely at his expense. Closing his eyes, Jack attempted to clear his head. A breeze ruffled the leaves in the trees surrounding the house, and the scent of the bay stirred in his nose.

  Warm and rich, with the smell of salt paired with flowers from the garden, it triggered so many memories of summers years ago. Whether he was in grade school, or high school, he had good memories.

  Hopefully tonight, he’d help Lilly remember how good it could be.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Lilly was sure she was going to find Jack waiting at the marina, because she was running late, as always. But to her surprise, he was just tying up the boat as she turned onto the visitor’s dock.

  Jack had eased the family sailboat, named Belle Coeur, into an empty space between two big cabin cruisers. When he spotted her, she felt her face flush with warmth. Any other day, she would have thought it was the heat, but not today. The air was cool, the temperature had dropped quickly this afternoon, and there was a light breeze. No, the heat rising in her face was all Jack.

  The man made her crazy in the best way. She had no idea where this new thing with them was going to go, but she felt light and happy, and Lilly would take that over the dark cloud that had hovered over her life any day of the week.

  Lord, he was so handsome. He was in a pair of blue cargo shorts, boat shoes, and a dark olive-green T-shirt that had ARMY written across the front. A pair of Wayfarer sunglasses were perched on top of his head, which was exactly where they should be, because that allowed Jack’s blue eyes to be trained right on her.

  The man looked like American royalty. When she got to the boat, he smiled, and like a cliché in real life, she felt a little weak in the knees.

  He reached up. Lilly handed him her canvas bag before allowing him to take her hand and help her onto the deck.

  “That was perfect timing,” she smiled. “I had to go back to feed and water Barney before I left, and I thought I was going to be late.”

  “I’m the one who’s late. I was planning to be here sooner so I could go to the deli, but Grandma had Chef pack a cooler.”

  “Oh. She did? That was nice of her. Unnecessary, but very sweet.”

  “I was surprised she knew we were going out tonight. You told her?”

  “Was I not supposed to?”

  Lilly understood how families could be, and she could see where a little secrecy about their relationship, or whatever this was, might be a good thing, but she wasn’t going to censor everything she said.

  “No, no, it’s not a problem, but…”

  “But you don’t want to be the talk of the town?” Lilly agreed with him. Not her choice either.

  “That. Exactly.” Taking a cursory glance around, probably out of habit, he took her hand in his. “We don’t need the static.”

  That was an interesting way to put it, and accurate. The familiarity of Compass Cove came with a price tag, and that was having everyone all up in your business. All the time. About everything.

  “I get your point.” Lilly knew what living in a fishbowl could do to a person, even a small fishbowl could mess with your head.

  “Let’s head out. The sun goes down in a couple of hours.”

  “Is it safe? To sail after dark?” Lilly loved the water, but she didn’t have a lot of experience with boats. She knew Jack grew up sailing, and she trusted him, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to ask him the question.

  He must have sensed her apprehension because the grip on her hand eased, and then he laced her fingers with hers, a sign that they were in this together.

  “Perfectly safe. We aren’t going that far. There’s a light breeze, but the Sound is calm. I checked all the nav lights and equipment. We’re fine. And there’s an a
lmost full moon tonight. We’ll have that going for us.”

  Jack, a picnic, and a moonlit night. It was the stuff of her teenage dreams. And her adult ones.

  Going through all the necessary steps, he untied the boat from the dock. With the skill of someone doing this for most of his life, he eased them into the lane heading out of the cove.

  Lilly sat next to him by the wheel and immediately reached into her tote for her jacket. No matter how warm it was on land, the water chilled her. Not in an uncomfortable way, but enough that she noticed.

  Jack stood as he steered the boat between the buoys, letting the small engine power them out to open water. The white and orange markers floating on each side of the cove were the nautical version of a highway on/off ramp.

  They passed by small marinas, the yacht club, and finally, the private homes that dotted the shore as Compass Cove eased into North Harbor, and then the harbor opened to Jennings Bay.

  It was easy to see why the town had been built in that location. The natural protection offered by the land formation of Long Island’s north shore kept the little community from being flooded when storms kicked up. She’d seen it last March when a nor’easter swept across the island. While other towns were dealing with knee-deep water in the streets and in buildings, Compass Cove had a few puddles.

  This was the place Jack’s family had lived for hundreds of years, first as seafaring merchants and then as local tradesmen. It was only in the past hundred years that the Miller family became THE Miller Family and acquired their great wealth.

  However, it was the blood of his ancestors that drove Jack to work so hard. It drove the whole family. Even Natalie, who seemed spoiled by comparison with her jet-set life, had an intense work ethic.

  “Penny for your thoughts?”

  Lilly looked up, her eyes now on the man standing at the big silver wheel. He was in his element, relaxed and happy, and his eyes held a combination of curiosity and concern. He genuinely wanted to know what she was thinking.

  “Just a penny?” Lilly joked. Jack raised an eyebrow, silently calling her out on her glib response. He really wanted to know. How cool was that? “Looking at the town from this angle changes things. I don’t see it the same way. I mean, there’s the Rinaldis’ house over there, and the cottage where Jordan used to live is right next door. A year ago, I sat on the sand looking out at the water while she told me about Chase cheating on her.”

  “She was lucky she found out when she did.”

  “No doubt about it. But looking at it from here, it’s different. I know what happened that night, I was there, but I dunno…” She paused and drew a breath because the next part hit close to home. “I guess seeing the house and the beach like this made me realize how easy it is to create a narrative when you’re on the outside looking in. And it doesn’t have to be true.”

  “Are you worried that’s what people are doing to you? Creating a narrative?”

  “Sometimes.” She saw the way people in town looked at her, especially now that the film crew was in town. “People think they know my story, but they don’t.”

  “True enough.” He’d heard some of the gossip, and it was all he could do not to jump to Lilly’s defense. “But you also haven’t told your story. So, no one knows what’s true and what isn’t.”

  Jack sat on the bench next to her, keeping hold of the wheel with one hand and looping his other arm around her. Lilly leaned in and dropped her head on his shoulder. It felt safe being here with him, and that wasn’t something she’d had for a long time.

  “I found out from Adam the shoot should be over in a week, maybe sooner. Once they’re gone, everyone will forget all about it.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  “But, Lilly?” His voice signaled a tough question was about be asked. “Should that be the end of it? You have some stuff to deal with, and that doesn’t happen when you keep secrets.”

  Damn. He wasn’t going to go easy on her. But Lilly didn’t know if she was ready to face her demons. “I wonder what your grandmother packed us for dinner?”

  Changing the subject wasn’t going to work, but it was worth a try.

  “Lilly…”

  Staying close to him, Lilly closed her eyes, and let the words spin around for a bit before answering him. What he was suggesting was going to leave her raw, exposed.

  “I don’t know how to heal. Not specifically.” Breathing hurt. Every bit of air was getting stuck in her chest. “I mean, telling people? My family and friends—what would they think of me?”

  “They would hurt for you. Feel angry. Protective. All the things I’m feeling.”

  He pulled her close as he guided the boat further into Jennings Bay. The sunlight reflected off the water, leaving a path of gold that seemed to go on forever. She wished this moment could do the same. Lilly knew Jack was right, that Gio would always occupy her headspace unless she took away his power. Right now, the secret of her abuse, and the shame, were his weapons.

  “I’ll think about it.” It was the best she could do at the moment, and Jack conveyed his understanding with a kiss on her head.

  “I’m here for you.”

  She might never be able to tell him how much those words meant to her, but she suspected he knew already.

  Being brave enough to take the next step was on her.

  “Okay, we’re clear of the lane. Time to put up the main sail. Hold the wheel and do exactly what I tell you.”

  “You want me to drive? Are you insane?”

  “Just hold the wheel, Lilly.”

  “But—” Before she could say another word, Jack leaned over and kissed her soundly on the mouth. All words stopped.

  “Just. Hold. The. Wheel. I’m going to raise the sail.”

  She widened her stance and held onto the wheel like her life depended on it. In the meantime. Jack undid the sail ties and pulled the rigging, which hoisted the large white sheet up the mast. “Turn the wheel a quarter turn to your left.”

  She did as he asked and immediately the sail caught the wind and puffed out. Jack secured the line and returned to her side, nudging her shoulder with his. “There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

  “No, but how do you find this relaxing? Sailing seems like a lot of work.”

  “Most good things are,” he said.

  “Was that a veiled attempt at a lesson?”

  Jack’s hands were both on the wheel as he steered the boat to further away from the coast. “I don’t think it was veiled, do you?”

  He got points for honesty. As compassionate as he’d been, Jack wasn’t coddling her, and Lilly appreciated it. The pity factor was one of the things that motivated her silence. She hated how the people close to her might treat her if they knew the truth.

  Lilly let her mind settle on the sound of the waves and the feel of the wind as it blew across the deck. The quiet that surrounded them was surreal. There were no machines. No voices. The air, salty and clean, seeped into every pore.

  They’d lapsed into a comfortable silence, and it was a rare and wonderful place to be. There was no pressure to talk, and Lilly had never been more aware of her connection to another person as she was at that moment.

  She’d never asked him what he thought about the other day at the compass shop, and didn’t know if she should. When Liam had dropped the compass in his hand, Lilly was simultaneously amused and confused because she had no idea what had possessed him to ask. It was more than likely an impulse, laced with a healthy dose of curiosity. But when the needle pointed at her, she found herself terrified.

  What she should have said was, “I told you so.”

  Because she had.

  And she’d been right.

  Jack was her soulmate. She was his. And the minutes that ticked away during that evening sail, quiet moments that allowed them to just be, was all the proof she needed.

  *

  If he’d ever wondered what a contentment felt like, Jack had his answer. This particular night on the
water, with the girl of his dreams tucked next to him, was it.

  There were so many things he wanted to tell her. Thoughts. Regrets. Feelings. But he didn’t want to spoil what was going on between them in those quiet minutes.

  It was one of the reasons he’d suggested a sail. The past week had been a roller coaster between the wedding and her ex being in town, and Lilly needed to decompress. Spending the last two nights with her only affirmed for him how much she was struggling.

  With her back pressed into the stern rail, Lilly’s face tilted up toward the blue sky. With her eyes closed, Jack could see she was allowing the breeze to do its job. It was pretty simple, really. If you let it, the wind and the sea could take whatever was ailing you, and just whisk it away.

  Jack let himself slip into the quiet too. He mimicked her pose, let the air skirt across his face. It really was peaceful. The only thing he heard over the wind was the sound of the seagulls squawking above them.

  The strange gurgle and groan he heard coming from the woman beside him, however, broke the silence. Looking over he saw Lilly, eyes still closed, grimace.

  Then it happened again.

  Her stomach was growling.

  When the second rumble subsided, Lilly opened her eyes and met his. She grinned, shrugged.

  “I haven’t eaten in a while.”

  He knew how she was when she didn’t eat. The last thing he needed was a hangry woman in open water.

  “Then I guess I should find a place to drop anchor, so we can have our dinner.”

  Her response was a nod, and another complaint from her belly. Jack guided the boat into a protected inlet off Jennings Bay that was surrounded by seagrass. He knew the water was deep enough that the keel wouldn’t catch on anything and the water would stay calm.

  Dropping the anchor so they wouldn’t drift, Jack watched as Lilly pulled the cooler from under the seat. “What did Chef pack us for dinner?”

  “She didn’t say, but I told her to keep it simple.” Jack mentioned some sandwiches. Maybe a little potato salad.

  “I brought brownies. And wine.”