The Brilliant Ideas of Lily Green

by Lisa Siberry

  Or a neighbour, I reminded myself. Or a friend.

  Instead, I felt mixed-up and confused – just like the drawing Ivy had scratched out on her sneaker. Not Lily Green anymore. Just a mess.

  I turned the corner into our street and bent into the biting wind. It stung my cheeks, and even the trees seemed to lean away from me, whipping their leaves furiously over my head. Up ahead, Kitty’s looked darker than usual. There weren’t any lights twinkling in the window, and the walls had turned a dark shade of eggplant in the fading light. I suddenly pictured all those old purple bricks tumbling to the ground, and a shiny white BeautyGlow rising up in its place.

  The thought made me shiver, and I dug my hands into my apron pocket for warmth, but that just made me feel worse, because all I had in there now was a green notebook and a bottle full of vinegar. Nothing that could make anything better.

  Timidly, I pushed the salon door open. The old black-and-white tiles were covered in balloons, and Mum was throwing all the pots of Lip Switch and Glow Girl into a garbage bag. Faye sat in a chair with her hair wrapped in a silk scarf, a toothbrush sticking out of her mouth and bright green cream slathered all over her face and arms.

  I felt relieved that she was OK – or at least, not any worse. But as soon as Faye saw me she just sniffed and turned away. Feeling ashamed and guilty, I shuffled over to Mum. There were other boxes on the ground beside her. One was filled with all the nail polish bottles. Another brimmed with hairsprays and hand creams. And all the salon shelves were empty.

  ‘Why are you packing?’ I asked slowly.

  ‘Why do you think?’ muttered Faye through a mouthful of bubbles. ‘After today’s beauty disaster, we’re ruined. No-one’s coming back to Kitty’s, unless they fancy a flower rash.’

  Mum taped up a box and sighed. There were mascara smudges under her eyes and her bun was half undone. ‘I’m afraid Faye’s right, sweetie. I’m proud of us for trying, but …’ She looked at the sale papers on the salon desk. They were folded open to the signature page, with a pen sitting on top of them. ‘There’s nothing more we can do.’

  ‘Wait.’ I stepped on a balloon and it popped loudly. The sound made something snap inside me, and before I knew it, the words started tumbling out. ‘Mum, you can’t sign those papers. Elektra’s trying to buy the salon. She’s always had it in for you, ever since you beat her at that beauty competition. She said you cheated or something, and that she had to cut a lot of toenails, and now she’s going to knock down Kitty’s as revenge.’ I stopped, panting for air.

  ‘What? Elektra? I …’ Mum looked at me, then at the plaque hanging on the wall, then back at me. ‘Well, firstly, I never cheated at the beautician competition.’

  Faye groaned and toothpaste bubbles leaked down her chin. ‘Can someone please tell me what’s going on?’

  Mum frowned, like she was trying to remember. ‘It must have been the spray bottle.’

  ‘What spray bottle?’ Faye and I said at the same time.

  ‘Your father designed a hairspray bottle that I used at the competition,’ said Mum. ‘I haven’t seen it for years, but it was a little piece of beauty salon genius. It had a switch on the side, and a comb and mirror that would flick out the top, so you could spray and comb at the same time. Simple, but clever, really. I won the competition because I styled three chignons, a ballerina bun, two perms and a box braid, all in one hour.’

  Faye let out a low whistle. ‘Impressive.’

  ‘It was. And it certainly wasn’t cheating.’ Mum glared at the plaque as though Elektra was up there.

  ‘So don’t sell,’ I pleaded. ‘Please, we can’t let Elektra ruin us like this over a beauty competition.’

  ‘Ruin us?’ My sister stood up and spat toothpaste into the washbasin. ‘Oh, don’t worry, Lily, you managed to do that all on your own today.’

  ‘Operation Beauty Miracle was your idea, Faye,’ I shot back.

  ‘Girls, please. No fighting,’ said Mum.

  ‘Well, you should have made something better!’ Faye shouted. She turned the tap on, and just as I was about to mutter a comeback, the tap fell off in her hand.

  ‘What the –’ Faye jumped back as water gushed out of the broken tap and into the sink. Except the sink must have been blocked, because the water was rising and spilling over the top, dripping onto the floor and puddling around Faye’s orange wedge heels.

  ‘What’s going on?’ said Faye, backing away against the wall.

  ‘There’s something stuck in there.’ I bent down to get a better look. The old washbasin pipe was warping and slowly expanding, and within seconds a section of pipe had swollen to the size of a tennis ball.

  ‘Lily, did you clean the hairballs out of there like I told you?!’ shouted Faye.

  ‘Uh, no.’ I panicked. ‘But hairballs can’t do that. Can they?’

  ‘There’s something else in there,’ said Mum nervously.

  We all peered at the swollen pipe. It was getting bigger, and a tiny crack had appeared. I held my breath. The pipe groaned and shuddered, then with a horrible pop, the whole thing exploded, sending a jet of water spraying across the salon. Icy water slammed into the wall behind the washbasin, drenching Faye and streaming down the purple wallpaper onto the floor. My sister screamed as more water kept pumping out of the broken faucet.

  I tore off my apron and stuffed it into the broken faucet. It did the trick – the water stopped – but then something bumped into my leg. It was the salon bin floating by in the ankle-deep water, and when I saw what was inside, I sucked in my breath.

  Lying there like discarded bombshells were six empty cans of Power-Puff! Inflatable Hair Mousse.

  Random memories started locking together in my head. The woman in the red wig standing next to the washbasin at the product launch. Zoe telling me to watch out for hair mousse. Elektra winking at me.

  ‘Sabotage,’ I whispered, sticking my hand into the broken pipe. My fingers brushed against something slimy. I gave a hard tug and, just as I suspected, out came a fist-sized ball of tangled wet hair and slimy silver sludge. It looked like a giant hairball coated in gum.

  Mum’s hand flew to her mouth. Faye made a gagging sound.

  I threw the disgusting lump of drain-clogger into the bin as anger surged through me. ‘Elektra did this.’ I spat the words out with disgust. ‘She broke the tap and she blocked the sink today with her horrible Power-Puff! Inflatable Hair Mousse, because she hates us and wants us to fail.’

  ‘Power-Puff?’ Faye wiped the water off her face. Her headscarf was drenched and half the green face cream had slidden off in a goopy mess. But for once my sister didn’t care how she looked. She was too angry. ‘I watched a video about that mousse today. It makes hair expand to ten times its size. It’s ridiculous, even for me.’

  ‘And it’s full of pufferfish venom,’ I added.

  ‘And those evil beauty hags knew it’d be the perfect way to clog our old sink.’ Faye threw her toothbrush at the bin, and it bounced inside with a tinny clang.

  We waited for Mum to say something, but she was looking around the ruined salon in shock. The floor was covered in water and the washbasin hung on a crooked angle, but the worst thing was the wall near the washbasin. The sodden purple wallpaper was slipping off in chunks, taking Dad’s old height chart with it. We watched in silence as his last green pen marks slid away and slopped at our feet. All that was left was a patch of old green wall that had been hidden behind the wallpaper.

  Kitty’s wasn’t beautiful. It was a mess.

  ‘We can clean it up?’ I suggested weakly. ‘Mum, I can clean this up. I’m good at cleaning, right, Faye?’

  But my sister was untying her apron. ‘Lily, face it, we lost.’ She threw her apron at the wall hook. It missed and fell onto the wet floor.

  Mum took off her apron too. She folded it and held it close to her chest. The wind tore at the old stripy awning outside. More purple wallpaper slipped off the walls. And the clock ticked exactly five times before Mu
m finally said it.

  ‘Girls, our time is up. I’m afraid we have to sell Kitty’s.’

  I ran upstairs and flicked the bedroom light switch on, then off.

  I lay on the bed and let my wet sneakers soak into the blankets.

  Above me, the glowing green flower mobile whirred to life.

  ‘I’m sorry, Dad,’ I whispered. ‘I didn’t make a single thing better.’

  My eyes flooded and tears spilled onto my pillow. I’d failed at everything. Failed to save the salon. Failed to make anything for the competition. Failed my family and friends.

  A total failure.

  I flipped onto my side and pulled my knees up into a tight ball.

  I have no idea who you are, Lily Green.

  I buried my face in my pillow.

  I’m not a Green Girl. I haven’t made anything beautiful.

  ‘Lily? Are you OK?’

  My sister’s voice startled me. She was sitting on her bed, prodding at the flower-shaped welts on her cheeks. They looked slightly better, but they were still there, which just made me feel even more awful.

  I pulled myself up. ‘I’m sorry.’ It was hard to say at first, but I kept going. ‘I was such an idiot, making those beauty products to impress you and Mum and Violet and everyone else.’

  ‘Yes, you were an idiot.’

  I waited.

  ‘But …’ Faye touched her Be the Boss book, then shoved it under her pillow. ‘It wasn’t all your fault. I was probably out of my mind asking you to make something beautiful. And it’s possible that Operation Beauty Miracle was a bit ambitious.’ She held up her hands as though I’d forced her to say it. ‘I just wanted to show Mum I could be a good boss.’

  I blinked. Faye was trying to be good at something too? I’d never even thought of that.

  ‘You tried,’ said Faye quietly.

  ‘We tried.’

  The two of us sat there for a while, listening to the wind rattling the window.

  ‘Faye?’

  ‘Hmm.’

  ‘I don’t want to leave Dad behind.’ I stared at a smudge of mud on my sneakers so I wouldn’t look up at the mobile.

  My bed dipped as Faye sat next to me. ‘You couldn’t leave him behind if you tried, dumb-dumb. Where do you think you got this crazy mane from?’ She tugged on my wet curls. ‘It’s exactly like his. That’s why I style your hair every morning. It makes me think of Dad.’

  ‘It does?’ I wiped my snotty nose on my arm. ‘I mean, that’s why you do it?’

  ‘That, and I know you hate it.’

  I almost laughed, even though the tears were still drying on my face.

  ‘And don’t forget the freckles.’

  Faye and I looked up to see Mum standing in the doorway with my wet apron. ‘You’ve got your dad’s freckles,’ she smiled, hanging the apron on the door knob.

  ‘And his inability to keep anything clean.’ Faye kicked at a dirty bowl peeking out from under my bed.

  ‘And the name,’ said Mum. ‘Green. That was your dad’s, too. No matter what happens, or where we live, we will always be Green Girls.’

  I sat there thinking about all this, but the inky black cloud was swirling inside me again. ‘No, I’m not a Green Girl.’ I shook my head. ‘I’ve never been able to do a single thing right in the salon.’

  ‘Lily, that’s not true,’ said Mum.

  But it was. ‘I tried to make things better with Glue Goo, and Lip Switch, and Glow Girl, but I just made everything worse. And now the salon’s closing, and BeautyGlow’s stolen Rosa’s berries, and Faye’s a walking beauty disaster.’

  ‘Hey,’ whined Faye.

  ‘Wait,’ said Mum. ‘What berries?’

  I couldn’t swallow my secrets anymore, so instead I let them all pour out as fast as shampoo out of a bottle. I told Mum and Faye everything. How I took Rosa’s most dangerous plants and put them in my beauty products. How I lied and snuck around. Everything.

  For a few seconds, no-one said anything. The room seemed to shrink and I waited for a lecture, or a year’s worth of chores, or at least a lifetime ban on The Lab Girls. Anything would have been better than the look of disappointment on Mum’s face.

  ‘I’m so, so sorry,’ I whispered, hunching over and staring at my hands. ‘Dad made it look it easy, but making things can be really …’ I blinked back more tears. ‘Hard.’

  Mum leaned against the doorway, and when she eventually spoke she didn’t sound angry – just sad. ‘Why did you do it, Lily? You’re not seven anymore, melting crayons into lipstick tubes to play tricks on your sister. We trusted you.’

  ‘And dangerous plants?’ Faye ran a hand over the purple welts on her arm. ‘Is there anything you don’t throw in your disgusting goop?’

  ‘I was just trying to make the world a beautiful place.’ It sounded so stupid when I said it. ‘That’s what the Green Girls do. Or at least, that’s what you two do. Obviously I can’t do anything.’

  Mum’s face softened. ‘You can do so many incredible things, Lily. And yes, our family motto is to make the world a beautiful place, but you’ve forgotten the other part.’

  I stayed quiet.

  ‘How do we make the world a beautiful place?’ asked Mum.

  ‘We put the you in be-you-tiful,’ I said in a shaky voice.

  ‘And what do you think that means?’

  I thought about all the times Mrs D came into the salon and Mum would wash her light blue hair and set it into her usual curls. And Miss Sparrow, with her spider nails and long black goth hair.

  ‘You help people be themselves?’ I guessed.

  Mum nodded. ‘Everyone who comes into Kitty’s is beautiful in their own way. And believe me, I’ve been a beautician long enough to know you can’t find that in a bottle.’

  ‘That’s ridiculous,’ huffed Faye. ‘You can get everything in a bottle.’

  ‘Well, you can experiment with all the makeup and nail polish in the world if that’s what interests you, Faye, but I would call that decoration. The real beauty starts inside, when someone knows exactly who they are and they’re not afraid to own it.’

  ‘Even if that includes spider web nails?’ asked Faye.

  ‘Sure, if that feels true to who you are.’ Mum shrugged. ‘Or other things, like being the boss, or making weird and wonderful beauty products.’ She raised an eyebrow at us. ‘All I’m saying is that you should be you. No beauty miracles, no pretending, just you.’

  I felt so relieved when she said that. And it’s strange, because I’ve been saying our cheesy family motto since forever, but I’ve never really thought about what it means. That beauty does actually happen from the inside out. Not the outside in. It starts with you.

  Or technically it starts with be. And is followed by you.

  Be you. I decided I’d write that in my notebook. Which reminded me. ‘We didn’t give the lip balm or body cream to anyone else, did we?’

  ‘We didn’t sell a single pot,’ Mum sighed. ‘Thank goodness.’

  ‘What about the shampoo?’ Faye readjusted her headscarf. ‘My friends will kill me if their hair starts snapping off too.’

  ‘You said yourself, the effects wear off after a day,’ I said hopefully. ‘And Mrs D looked fine.’

  ‘True,’ nodded Mum. ‘But Faye, you should still call your friends to check if their hair is back to normal. And Lily, you need to clean up your side of the bedroom and apologise to Rosa right away. I haven’t seen her for years, but tell her I can give her the full mani-pedi treatment in exchange for forgiving my daughter.’

  ‘The beauty-product bozo,’ added Faye.

  ‘And you,’ Mum turned to my sister. ‘Time to wash off the rest of that body cream, because we’re going to a doctor whether you like it or not.’ She wiped a smudge off Faye’s arm. ‘Where did you get this cream anyway?’

  ‘You left it on the kitchen table. There was a whole container full of it.’

  ‘Oh sweetie, that was Lily’s invention. I took it out of the f
ridge last night to make room for the groceries.’ Mum shot me a worried look, but I shook my head.

  ‘No plants in that batch.’

  ‘Phew.’ Mum swept out of the bedroom and headed downstairs. ‘Let’s go, girls. Life isn’t about surviving the storm, it’s about how we dance in the rain.’

  Faye’s head whipped back to me. A blob of green cream dripped off her chin onto the carpet. ‘No. No, no, no.’

  ‘Um, yes. I think you used my oatmeal and mint body cream.’

  ‘Oh god.’ Faye ran for the bathroom.

  ‘It’s all natural!’ I shouted, a smile spreading across my face. At least I knew there was nothing dangerous in it.

  I started clearing up all the dirty bowls on my desk. Outside, the wind was rippling through the mulberry tree, and I decided the dishes could wait. Instead, I grabbed the vinegar bottle and headed for the fire escape.

  By the time I climbed up the mulberry tree and onto the wall, the last streaks of light were fading from the sky and the wind was whistling through Rosa’s garden. I couldn’t see her, but I could hear Ivy’s violin screeching in the house.

  ‘Rosa!’ I shouted into the windy gloom.

  There was a flutter of wings, and Bertie flew down from the cherry blossom tree, landing on my head. Then Rosa appeared, shuffling off the last stone in the pathway. She swept aside the Spanish moss with her cane and we both looked at the gaping hole where the berry vine had been.

  ‘That girl’s in for a big surprise when she uses those berries,’ said Rosa.

  I nodded. No more lies. Tucking the vinegar bottle under my arm, I climbed down the wall and carefully walked through the glowing purple flowers towards the old woman. ‘Rosa, it wasn’t just Zoe who stole your berries. I took some as well. And an orange. And a few of these.’ I miserably pointed at the flowers at my feet. ‘For my beauty products.’

  Bertie gave me a sharp jab in the ear, which I definitely deserved. But Rosa just leaned on her cane for a while, then nodded. ‘Ivy told me.’