Off Chance

by Sawyer Bennett

My phone buzzes in my pocket, startling me from my thoughts. I pull it out and my heart leaps a bit when I see it's from Rowan.

  Met Food called. I didn't get job. Back to the drawing board.

  My heart now hurts for Rowan. She was so excited yesterday about having an interview at a grocery store just a few blocks from my apartment. She had texted me right after, telling me that she thought it went well and was hoping she got it.

  This girl is amazing. Yeah, it's a simple job as a checkout clerk, but her enthusiasm and pride over getting any job humbles me just a bit. I've never met anyone that is so intent on doing things the hard way, just to show that she can do it.

  No worries. You'll get something soon. Faith in you.

  And I do... have faith in her. There is no person I know in this world that wouldn't land on their feet with as much grace as I know Rowan will.

  Thx. At least your apartment is sparkling. Bored so cleaning.

  That's my girl. Keeping busy... earning her keep. I grin inside thinking of her bent over my bathtub, and immediately start getting a boner. I need to dial it back a bit!

  I start to text her back but my phone rings. It's Buzz Matheson calling.

  I connect the call. "What's up, Buzz?"

  "Got some good news. I tried to call Rowan but got her voice mail."

  "Yeah, she's more of a texter than a talker. Tell me you got the bastard."

  Buzz chuckles. "Yeah, we got him. Picked him up this morning. He was holed up with some woman over in Long Island."

  Well, it didn't take long for him to start fucking around. For the life of me, I can't figure out why he wants Rowan so bad if he can just go shack up with another woman so quickly.

  "How'd you find him?"

  "We got a tip from an informant who actually gave us a bit more than just his whereabouts. They pulled a body out of the Hudson yesterday... apparently, a rival drug dealer of Juice's. Rumor has it that Juice whacked him."

  I'm silent for a moment, digesting that piece of news. It makes my hair stand on end, knowing that this guy is probably a murderer. "You think that was the guy that set the house on fire?"

  "Who knows? Could be. Doesn't much matter to me since I have enough evidence on the kidnapping charges to hold him and he won't make bail. Hopefully, homicide can build a case for the murder, too."

  "Hope so, man."

  "Yeah, well, listen... tell Rowan thanks again for talking to me but prepare her... if this goes to trial... she's going to have to testify."

  Yeah, good luck with that, I thought. "What do you think the chances of that are?"

  "I'm hoping he'll cut a deal in exchange for giving up his supplier. It would be best for him if he did. I'll keep you posted, okay?"

  "Sure. Thanks, Buzz."

  After I disconnect, I dial Rowan's cell. She probably won't answer if Buzz just tried to call her but I take a chance.

  She picks up on the second ring.

  "Hey," she says, and just the sound of her voice washes over me like a drug.

  "Buzz just called."

  "Yeah, he tried to call me but I didn't answer. What did he want?"

  "They got Juice in custody."

  I wait for her to respond but I'm met with silence. Then I hear it... faintly. A long exhale of relief.

  "You okay?" I ask gently.

  Her voice warbles just a bit when she answers. "Yeah. Just happy is all."

  "Me too. You're safe now."

  The minute I say those words, I think to myself, She's going to leave now that Juice is off the streets.

  "Don't leave," I blurt out.

  "What?" Her voice is startled, which gives me a small measure of relief that she wasn't thinking the same exact thing I was at that same exact moment.

  "Just because Juice is in custody... I don't want you to leave. In fact, I want to open up the position of roommate to you permanently. I was looking for one anyway before I met you. And once you get a job, you can split expenses with me fifty-fifty. So... don't leave, okay? At least not until I get home."

  Man, that was a mouthful and my face heats up a bit that I just sort of bared my soul to her. She has to know I'm not asking her to stay because I want rent, right? She has to know I want her to stay because I want her to stay.

  I'm met with a soft laugh of amusement. "I'll stay, Flynn. Don't worry. I'll see you day after tomorrow."

  My breath rushes out in relief. "Good. I'll see you day after tomorrow."

  I go to disconnect the call but I clearly hear her say, "Stay safe, Flynn."

  She cares... I know she does.

  The loudspeaker hisses and issues a long crackle, then I'm jumping up from my rack as the call comes in.

  After we return to the Station, I take a quick shower and hang out on my bunk for a while.

  "Hey, Caldwell." I look up and one of my crewmates, Gigi Scaletti, stands in the doorway. "You have a visitor out front."

  "Oh, yeah?"

  "Yeah... tall, long hair... broody looking." She flashes me a grin.

  "Must be my cousin, Nix."

  "Is he single? Because if so, I'm willing to be all over that if you know what I mean."

  Yes, I do know what she means and I just shake my head with a smirk. Gigi tries hard to be one of the guys, when she really doesn't have to. She's proven her worth as a teammate a million times over, so I let her down gently.

  "Sadly, he's very taken. Engaged in fact."

  "Damn," she says but she really doesn't look heartbroken in the slightest. "Guess I'll keep looking."

  When I get to the front bay, sure enough, Nix is leaning up against the truck talking to Tim. As I approach, I hear Tim say, "See ya, Nix." They fist bump and Tim heads toward the kitchen.

  "Hey, man. What brings you over to this corner of the world?"

  He jerks his thumb over his shoulder. "I was just delivering a piece of art to an accounting firm here in Brooklyn and thought I'd stop by. See how things are going."

  "You mean, see how it's going with the victim I moved into my apartment that I'm trying to fix?"

  Nix at least has the grace to look slightly embarrassed. "Yeah, something like that."

  Leaning back against the truck, I cross my arms over my chest and look out the bay door at the traffic driving by. I want to be mad at Nix for being judgmental with me the other day, but I can't find it within me. He's my cousin--one of my best friends in the world--and all of his words are born of love. I get it.

  "All's good. In fact, it looks like Rowan's problems are over. Buzz caught her ex-boyfriend and he's in custody, so she's safe."

  "So, she'll be moving on?" His eyes are so serious, and I know... again... this stems from love.

  "Actually, I've gone ahead and asked her to officially be my roommate. She's trying to get a job now."

  Nix looks to the concrete floor and scuffs a boot over it, presumably thinking over his next words. "Flynn, are you sure she's not trying to scam you... or abusing your hospitality?"

  Chuckling, I slap Nix on the shoulder. "Man... trust me, this girl doesn't know how to take advantage of someone. If you met her, you'd know it in about five minutes. I guarantee once she finds a job, she'll probably insist on paying me back-rent with interest. That's just the way she is."

  Nix looks at me and holds my gaze. I make sure mine is unwavering so he understands that I believe the truth of what I'm telling him and that I'm not romanticizing her involvement in my life.

  "Really? You trust her motives?"

  "I do," I say emphatically. "I'm not wrong about this. She's a good person. More importantly... she doesn't need fixed. She'd be fine with or without my help."

  Nix pushes away from the truck and comes to stand in front of me. "So, what type of job is she looking for?"

  I shrug my shoulders. "She's not picky. Just something where she can earn a decent wage. She's worked in bars before but she's applied to some local businesses around the apartment. Retail stuff."

  Nix rubs the scruff along his jaw, contemplatin
g. "She know how to work a computer?"

  "I don't know. I guess so. I mean--doesn't everyone in this day and age know how?"

  "You'd think, right? Hold on just a sec... I'll be right back."

  I watch as Nix steps out of the open bay doors and out onto the sidewalk. He pulls his phone out and dials. He paces back and forth while talking to someone on the other end, and I'm assuming he might know about a potential job for Rowan. The thought that he would do that touches me and I'm reminded how very lucky I am to have the family that I do.

  Nix isn't on the phone long before he disconnects and walks back toward me. "That was Emily. She agrees with me... if your roommate is familiar with computers, and can work some basic software I have... I'll offer her a job as my secretary. We'll do a trial for thirty days and I'll start her at thirteen dollars an hour. If at the end of thirty days, she's doing a great job, we'll talk something more permanent."

  "What?" I ask, completely startled.

  "Emily's trying to buckle down this last year of school and she just hasn't been able to stay on top of my stuff that she had been helping me with. We've been talking about me hiring someone to take over for her. Now seems as good a time as any, I guess."

  I cock an eyebrow at him. "Wait a minute... just five minutes ago you were questioning Rowan's integrity. You've never met her, you don't even know if she can do the job. Why are you offering this?"

  Nix gives me a smile and shakes his head with amusement. "Because I know you, dude. And if you tell me she's solid, then she's solid."

  I push away from the truck and take a step toward Nix, holding my hand out. He grasps it in a hard shake and then pulls me into a quick half-hug, clapping me on the back.

  "Thanks, Nix. That really means a lot. I'll call Rowan tonight and tell her. Although, she'll probably bitch about this being a handout. The girl has maybe a bit too much pride."

  "That means she'll work hard. I like it."

  "That she will. When do you want her to start?"

  "When does your shift end?"

  "Tomorrow is my last day."

  "Probably the day after that. Give me a call when you get home and we'll iron out the details."

  After Nix leaves, I head into the kitchen to get something to eat. I think how I'm going to approach this with Rowan, because she won't like that I had a hand in getting her a job. I just hope she's not too stubborn to accept this help.

  I stare out the passenger window at the tree-lined street. It's weird... because I haven't stepped foot out of the city in five years. I'm used to the concrete jungle, not this fall oasis where the leaves are just starting to get a touch of color and the air is refreshingly crisp in the morning.

  Flynn is driving me to his cousin's house in Englewood, New Jersey. I'm apparently starting a new job today, brought about by the generosity of Nix and Flynn Caldwell. I'm torn, because on the one hand, I want to be elated that I'll have a way to make money. But on the other hand, I'm feeling like a failure that this job was sort of handed to me.

  Flynn's line--beggars can't be choosers--flits through my mind and I sigh inwardly. I suppose I need to swallow a bit of my pride and go ahead and look at the bright side of things. So I'm telling the new Rowan to suck it up and be nothing but appreciative of this job.

  The old Rowan still exists though, because Flynn and I had a knock-down, drag-out fight last night about him driving me here. I insisted I could take public transit. I even showed him on the computer a nice little route that, between the bus and subway, I could make it in just a little over an hour and a half. Flynn then promptly pulled up driving directions on Google Maps and showed me how he could have me there in about forty-five minutes by his car. Then we got into a major pissing contest about it, but he eventually won by telling me he wanted to visit his parents while Nix showed me the ropes.

  "Are you still pissed at me?" Flynn asks with a good-natured attitude.

  "Yup. Leave me alone." I try to sound harsh but truth be told, I'm really not pissed at him anymore. I find it very difficult to hold strong against his wit and charm.

  Flynn reaches over and tugs on the end of my hair. "You're cute when you're mad."

  I lean my head to the right, dislodging his hand from my hair. Not because I'm mad, but because his touch affects me too much.

  "Am not mad."

  "Are, too. Admit it. You don't like the fact I won our argument."

  I turn my head toward him and he takes his eyes off the road for a second to return my gaze. I shoot him my best fuck-off glare but he only laughs at me. His dimple pops out, his eyes crinkle up at the corners, and I think he may be the most gorgeous man alive.

  Seriously.

  I turn my head to look back out the passenger window, not because I'm mad, but because of the smile that is involuntarily creeping onto my face.

  Damn that Flynn Caldwell and his devious charm.

  Nix's fiancee greets us at the door, telling us that Nix is doing some welding in his shop and that she'll be teaching me the ropes. Emily Burnham is a pretty cool chick. She clearly comes from money, and I make that snap judgment based on the designer clothes she's wearing and the expensive salon cut of her hair. I had those same things once upon a time, and I can honestly say I don't miss it. The price that came with having those luxuries just wasn't worth it to me.

  Still, the one thing Emily Burnham is not, is snobbish. She immediately hugs me when Flynn introduces us, then coos over me like a mother hen for the ordeal I'd been through recently. Once that is out of the way, she eagerly takes me out back to show me Nix's shop, and I throw a casual wave to Flynn as he gets back in his car to go visit his mom and dad.

  I follow Emily to a workshop in the backyard. We enter and I immediately take in the surroundings. It's lit with bright overhead, fluorescent bulbs and it's neatly organized. The walls sport shelving stacked with various tools and implements that I have no idea what they do. In the corner, there is a tattered recliner and a mini-fridge. In another corner, there is a desk with a laptop, and I'm guessing it's Emily's workspace because it's adorned with framed photos of her and Nix, as well as a vase of flowers. She girled the space up a bit.

  "So, this is where you'll work," she says as she walks to the desk. "Flynn said you're pretty computer savvy."

  I nod. "Yeah. I don't own one but I use the one at the public library a lot."

  "Well, it's mostly bookkeeping and tracking supply orders. Pretty basic software like QuickBooks and Excel. I'll be able to teach you everything today, so consider this just an orientation."

  Emily boots the laptop up and drags a short stool from the large workbench that takes up the middle of the room. "Sit here and just watch. I'll go through everything and then let you try some invoices. The password to log on is badthings."

  "Bad things?" I ask.

  Emily gives a very un-lady-like snicker. "Yeah... I was singing the song Bad Things by Jace Everett when Nix and I had our first kiss. It seemed appropriate."

  I take the seat and peer over her shoulder as she explains how to keep Nix organized and his business running smoothly. It only takes her about an hour to show me the basics and, admittedly, it doesn't look too hard. I'm pretty good with numbers and I expect after I do a few invoices myself, I'll be working with no problems.

  A door that sits on the far side of the room opens, and I get my first look at who I assume is Nix Caldwell. He gives me a quick glance and takes off his work gloves, throwing them on a nearby shelf. Without a word of greeting, he heads to the sink and washes his hands. Emily is engrossed on the computer and doesn't seem to notice he's entered.

  Had I not known that Flynn and Nix were cousins, I would have pegged them as brothers. They have the same dark brown hair and hazel eyes, although his have a bit more green in them, but they also have the same nose and lips. Nix's attitude seems a bit surly from the start, so I'll have to wonder if he has dimples when he smiles.

  If he smiles.

  "Hey, babe... remind me what account I put this
invoice under from Shogran Motors."

  Apparently, Emily did notice he walked into the room because she never even pulls her nose away from the computer to ask that question.

  Nix turns away from the sink and he now has a smile on his face that is so warm and tender, I actually swallow a tiny lump in my throat. The smile isn't for me though... it's directed straight at Emily and he walks toward her without ever taking his eyes from her back.

  I watch as Nix walks up behind Emily, bends over, and wraps his arms around her shoulders, crossing them over her chest. He leans his chin on top of her head and looks at the computer screen. "Put it under the account labeled 'Kit Vendor'."

  Emily taps a few strokes on the keyboard and I follow her progress on the screen, making a mental note to myself to do the same the next time I get that invoice to enter.

  "Thanks," Emily says as she tilts her head back so she can see Nix. "You are an amazing man."

  Nix leans over and gives her a swift kiss on her lips. "I know. You lucked out with me."

  I'm almost embarrassed that I'm watching this interplay between them. I've never been an openly affectionate person and this display makes me a little uncomfortable, and just a little bit envious. I try to imagine Flynn wrapping his arms around me like that... leaning his body into mine... giving me a tender kiss. Just the thought causes a longing to rise up in me, but I quickly push it back down. I've struggled with my feelings for Flynn and it helped having him gone the last three days. The alone time helped me to refocus and I kept repeating the mantra, "Flynn and I are better off as friends" as much as possible. I hoped that by repeating it, it would sink in and I would accept it.

  Emily stands up from the chair, dislodging herself from Nix's embrace. "Nix... meet Rowan. Rowan... meet Nix."

  Nix straightens and leans a hip on the edge of the desk. He doesn't reach out to shake my hand and he certainly doesn't offer me a hug the way Emily did, which is just fine by me. Her hug weirded me out just a bit. Rather, Nix crosses his arms over his chest and gives me a quick once-over. I see distrust in his eyes and I have to wonder what I've done this early on in our relationship to earn that look.

  "So... what's your story, Rowan?"

  His words seem pleasant enough but his body language doesn't compute. Shrugging my shoulders, I tell him, "Not much of a story. Just an out-of-work girl looking for a job."