Roped & Tied

by Ronald H Keyser

  “Sweetheart,” Jake gave her a quick glance and chuckled, “I found that out the first time I laid eyes on you, remember?”

  “Of course.” It was Dani’s turn to blush.

  Jake returned his attention on the road as he merged onto I10 east. “So what do you want?”

  “Oh, there’s a lot of those.” Dani laughed.

  “Start at the top.” Jake grinned. “Then we’ll work our way down the list.”

  “Let’s see.” Dani drummed her fingertips on Jake’s leg. “First off, I want to travel the circuit. I want to say I stood along the rail at every rodeo in the country before I get old. I want to own horses, a lot of them, with land to put them on.” Dani paused for a moment. “I want to get to know all the ropers, and bull riders, and…”

  Jake interrupted with a smile. “Sounds to me like you need a man who makes a living as a cowboy.”

  Dani rubbed Jake’s crotch again as she coyly replied, “I just thought of something else. If I get what I want, then I’m going to need a man who’s the best cowboy there’s ever been.” She was dead serious. “You see, I don’t want to take a chance on someone who’s going to show me the rodeo world from the cheap seats. I need to see it from the very top. The penthouse.”

  Jake laughed out loud. “Well, then, looks like I got a chance, don’t it?”

  Dani smiled. “Yeah, I’d say you do. But let’s not go getting ahead of ourselves. I came out here to have fun. I didn’t come out here to get married.”

  Jake smiled and looked at Dani for a long moment. “Honey, neither did I.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Jake pulled into the parking lot of the La Quinta Inn and Suites on Camp Street in downtown New Orleans.

  “You flew us out here on a private jet so we could stay at the La Quinta?” Dani looked around, surprised.

  “This don’t look like the penthouse to me,” Stephanie muttered just loud enough for Jake and Dani to hear.

  “Just hold your horses.” Jake drove around to the back of the building and pulled into a parking spot next to his horse trailer. He turned off the ignition. “I know, but I was in a bind. I’ll show you why in a minute. Come on. I got three rooms. They’re all next to each other.”

  Stephanie and Dani looked at each other, then exited the truck and followed Jake to a downstairs room on the very end of the building. Jake unlocked the door but, before he opened it, he turned to the girls. “Now, I want both of you to close your eyes, and don’t open them until I tell you.”

  Dani and Stephanie looked at each other, shrugged and put their hands over their faces.

  Jake took each by the hand and led them into the room. “Okay. Now you can open them.”

  Dani shrieked in surprise, then broke out in a long belly laugh. Standing in the middle of the room was Chief, who shook his head and neighed as if to say hello.

  “Hey, Chief, it’s good to see you again. How are you, boy?” Dani walked over and scratched Chief’s neck.

  Stephanie was still laughing. “How…why…what the hell?”

  Jake grinned broadly. “Well, the rodeo ended today…” He tipped his hat. “I won first place and day money all three days, by the way. Thank you very much. But now, I got no place to keep Chief if me and you two are going to be gallivanting around for a couple of days. So, I got him his own room.”

  “What’s the hotel going to do if they find out?” Dani looked over her shoulder at Jake.

  “They ain’t going to find out.” Jake waved the thought off. He rubbed Chief behind the ear. “I got one of the maids on the payroll. She’s going to make sure he gets his food and water…and she’s sworn to be quiet about it.”

  “This is the damnedest thing I’ve ever seen,” Dani said as she caught her breath.

  “Thank you.” Jake puffed out his chest, walking around to Chief’s rear end. “See, I even got a shit bag for him so he don’t go soiling the carpet.”

  “Are you sure about this?” Stephanie looked around with wide eyes. “I mean, this is a stretch. How do you know you can trust the maid?”

  “Well, it’s like this,” Jake said, cracking his knuckles with a smile. “I gave that maid more money than she makes in a month to keep an eye on him.” He added with a nod, “I’m pretty sure she’ll keep her end of the deal.”

  He reached into his pocket, pulled out two keys, and gave one to Stephanie. “Your room is two doors down. Me and Dani will stay in the one next door. Why don’t you gals freshen up a bit, then we’ll hit the town.”

  “That’s a good idea. I gotta pee, and call Willie, too. I’ll be right back, though.” Stephanie turned and opened the door.

  Jake held out the other key for Dani. “I’ll stay here with Chief while you two get ready because, if I follow you into that room, we might not come out for a few hours.”

  “Good thinking.” Dani winked. “Although the other sounds pretty good, too.”

  “I promise we’ll make plenty of time for that.” Jake gave her a quick kiss.

  “I hope so.” Dani wiggled her eyebrows at him. “When I said I wanted to have some fun, that’s kinda what I meant.”

  Jake kissed her once more. “Hurry and freshen up. We got to get going.”

  “I’ll be right back,” Dani promised, turning to walk out. A few minutes later, she walked back in.

  “Damn, that was fast!” Jake exclaimed.

  “You know we didn’t bring anything with us, right?” Dani let a little sarcasm color her words. “All I could do was pee and run a wet towel over my face.” She paused to look at Jake for a moment before she added, “What are you doing?”

  “Just a little coke.” Jake stood at the dresser, a rolled-up hundred dollar bill in his hand. He quickly licked his index finger, coated with fine white powder. “You want some?”

  “Hell, yeah.” Dani sat on the bed next to the nightstand. “I shouldn’t need to remind you we did a small mountain of cocaine that night we spent together in Yuma.”

  “Honey, there ain’t much about that night I don’t remember,” answered Jake with a smile.

  She rubbed her palms on her jeans, adding, “See, I’m not as reserved as you might think I am.”

  “I keep forgetting.” Jake laughed, pulling his wallet out to retrieve a small baggie. He diced up two lines with a credit card on the nightstand and handed Dani the rolled-up bill. “Let’s get this party started.”

  Dani was mid-inhale when Stephanie opened the door. “What are y’all doing?”

  “Coke,” Dani said matter-of-factly before doing the other line.

  “Damn, Dani, I didn’t know you did cocaine.” Stephanie stepped closer to the nightstand, her eyes curious.

  Dani looked at her sister. “Stephanie, over the next couple of days, I have a feeling you’re going to learn quite a few things about me you never knew before.” She held the rolled bill out to Stephanie. “You want to try it?”

  “Well, I’ve never done it before,” Stephanie said hesitantly. “Maybe once wouldn’t hurt…”

  “Well, then,” Jake cut in with a grin as he started chopping up another two lines. “Today’s your lucky day, because I got a friend of mine that gets me the very best.” Jake smiled. “If you’re going to do it, you might as well do the best.”

  Stephanie paused, then said with a grin, “Sure. Why not? We did come all the way out here to have some fun, didn’t we?”

  “You’re damn tootin’,” Dani laughed.

  “No pun intended, I’m sure,” groaned Jake.

  Ten minutes later, they were all standing out in front of the hotel, climbing into a yellow cab as they nervously chewed their teeth and licked their gums.

  “Where to?” asked the driver after they were all in.

  “French Quarter.” Jake snuggled up to Dani in the back seat.

  “By the way,” Stephanie turned in the front seat to look back at Jake, “how long are we staying? What’s the plan?”

  Jake glanced at the girls with a wide grin. “I got it all figured
out,” he told them. “I got to be in Oklahoma City for the finals this coming weekend, but I thought we could raise hell around here until Thursday. I’ll put you two on a plane back home Friday morning, and that’ll give me time to drive up and be ready to go at the convention center by Friday night.”

  Stephanie brightened. “When are we going shopping?”

  “Yeah,” Dani chimed in. “We need to get some clothes…well, everything.”

  “Whoa, there, Nellie.” Jake held up his palm. “We’ll stop on the way back to get whatever you need for the bathroom, then tomorrow…well, hell, might as well do it now.” He pulled his wallet out and produced a small stack of one hundred dollar bills. “How much you girls think you’re going to need?”

  Stephanie’s eyes went wide as she looked at the money in Jake’s hand, but Dani casually reached over and grabbed all of it. “This will be a good start.” Without counting it, she handed Stephanie half and added with a wink, “What do you think, little sister? Will that cover our first day?”

  “Well, I…” Stephanie stammered. “Yeah, I think so.”

  “Great.” Jake smiled. “But I guess I’m going to need to make another pit stop at the bank tomorrow.”

  “You do that.” Dani put the money in her purse, then snuggled close to Jake. “You do that.”

  Five minutes later, the cab pulled over on Decatur Street in the French Quarter and the trio got out in front of Jackson Square.

  * * *

  “What time is it?” asked Dani groggily.

  Jake glanced at the cheap clock on the nightstand. “Eleven-thirty.”

  “AM or PM?” Dani rubbed her eyes, trying to wake up.

  “It says AM.” Jake yawned.

  “What day is it?” Dani gazed at clothes haphazardly flung around the room amid empty Solo cups and beer bottles.

  “Tuesday…I think,” he replied.

  Dani rolled onto her back and stretched from head to toe. She turned back onto her right side and rubbed Jake’s chest. “So you’re off to Oklahoma for the finals this weekend, huh?”

  They were naked and lying on a bare mattress, the pillows and bed linens spread all over the room.

  “Yeah,” Jake said softly. “I’m looking forward to it. I plan on leaving that town with another gold buckle, maybe two.”

  “What are you going to do after that?” asked Dani. “I mean, where are you going to go?”

  “Back home for a while, most likely,” answered Jake. “My folks would like it if I spent some time up there.”

  “I never did like Oklahoma much. No offense.” Dani traced his lips with her finger.

  “None taken.” Jake playfully bit at her hand. “Can’t go anywhere without getting that damned red clay all over everything you own.” He paused. “’Course they say, in Oklahoma, there’s a good-looking woman behind every tree.”

  Dani slapped Jake on the chest. “You’d be the one who’d know, wouldn’t you? You planning on going up there to find out?”

  “Honey, I don’t need to find out. I already know.” Jake grinned. “You see, there ain’t no trees in Oklahoma.”

  Dani started to laugh, but a sound from the next room stopped her. “Aaaahhhh.” The noise was clearly coming from the room next door.

  “What the hell was that?” Jake bolted upright in the bed.

  “Somebody screamed.” Dani sat up, too. “Do you think it was Stephanie?”

  The sound of a slamming door came from the room Chief was in. Jake hopped out of bed and started scrambling for his clothes. “Damn, sounds like Chief scared the hell out of somebody.”

  Dani spent the next couple of minutes looking for her panties, which she found wrapped up inside a crumpled pillowcase. “What are we going to do?”

  Jake was putting his right leg into his jeans as he answered with a laugh, “Most likely get the fuck out of here.”

  “Then what?” Dani slid her panties up, then looked for her clothes.

  “I guess we’ll figure it out as we go.” Jake was putting his shirt on when there was a loud knock on the door. “Fuck, that was fast.” Waiting until Dani disappeared into the bathroom and he had his shirt tucked into his pants, he went over and opened the door to greet the manager.

  Dani peeked out the door to see the manager wearing a scowl, his arms crossed across his chest.

  “How are you doing on this fine day, sir?” Jake’s tone was friendly.

  The short, portly manager’s expression didn’t change at first, but he appeared far more peeved after he turned his head to look behind him. A light rain was coming down from a dreary, cloudy sky.

  He turned back to Jake. “Right.” He paused a moment to look around Jake and into the room. After taking in the sight of the messy interior, he looked back at Jake. “Listen, Mr. O’Brien, we had a complaint from above the room your horse was in, so I sent…”

  “Hold on there just a second, Mr.…Green.” Jake squinted to read the name off the manager’s gold name tag pinned to a well-worn, black sport coat. “I understand the situation.” He pulled three one-hundred-dollar bills out of his wallet and held them out for the manager. “Tell you what, Mr. Green, we can make a deal. How about if you take this and…”

  This time it was the manager’s turn to cut Jake off. His voice was venomous and a blue vein throbbed on the side of his head. “I’m afraid that’s not possible.” He shuffled his feet, but never took his eyes off Jake. “You see, I had the girl at the front desk call the police. They should be getting here in the next few minutes. So the only deal we’re going to make is this: If you get out of here before they arrive, I won’t press charges, but if you can’t, I will.”

  He turned to walk back toward the office as he added, “Good luck.”

  “Holy shit!” Jake slammed the door shut. “Dani!”

  “I heard, I heard,” she said, exiting the bathroom and frantically searching for her clothes.

  Jake stood there, trying to think. He snapped his fingers and said, “Tell you what, I’m going to get the trailer hooked and load up Chief. You get your sister and meet me outside.” He headed out the door as he added, “If you don’t have to have it, leave it.”

  Dani was dressed a couple of minutes later, then was standing outside her sister’s room banging on the door. “Stephanie…Stephanie, open the damned door.”

  Fortunately, the commotion had awakened Stephanie and she was already partly dressed. She cracked the door open. “I heard, give me just a minute.”

  “We don’t have a minute.” Dani’s voice rose. “Just put your clothes on and grab your purse. Don’t worry about all that toothpaste and shit we bought on the way back last night.”

  “I’ll be right out.” Stephanie closed the door to finish getting dressed.

  Dani turned to go back for her purse and noticed there were a number of people from different rooms who had stepped out to watch the scene unfold. At first, she was embarrassed and wanted to hide somewhere, but her brisk walk slowed and her feelings changed when Jake stepped out of the first room leading Chief by his halter. It didn’t take long for the gathering crowd to realize what had happened but, as soon as they did, the applause that followed made Dani grin from ear to ear.

  “Way to go, cowboy!” said one man.

  “Jake ‘the Snake’ O’Brien strikes again,” said another.

  “I heard the guy renting that room was hung like a horse, but this is ridiculous.” Another guest added his voice.

  Jake smiled back at the crowd and tipped his hat a couple of times before he stopped Chief behind the trailer, opened the tail gate, and led him in. The cheers from the crowd died down a bit when Jake was inside but, after he had Chief secured and he stepped back out onto the parking lot, he walked out into a chorus of boos. The property manager, half-running around the corner, had a police cruiser in tow.

  “There he is, Officers.” The manager pointed at Jake.

  “Shit!” Jake looked at Dani and Stephanie, then chuckled. “Damn, girls, if I had k
nown the cops would’ve gotten here this fast, I’d have told you two to fix your hair.”

  “Shut up, Jake.” Dani pushed her gnarled braids out of her face. She watched the patrol car pull up next to the trailer and stop. “What the hell are we going to do now?”

  “I don’t know.” Jake could only shrug.

  Dani looked at Jake, then rubbed her left index finger up and down with her right hand. “Maybe I can…”

  Jake cut her off. “No! No more hand jobs. At least to other guys, anyway.”

  “I’m just trying to help.” Dani gave him her best innocent look.

  Jake shook his head and mouthed the words, ‘Stop it!’ He looked back at the policemen and added, “We just need one of these guys to know a thing or two about rodeo.”

  They watched the two officers climb out of their car and slam the doors. They looked around before striding over to Jake.

  The older of the two, the driver, straightened his utility belt and smoothed the dark shirt that barely contained his belly. “I understand we have a situation here. I need to see some IDs.” He eyed the manager, who had his arm around a young, frightened Mexican girl, obviously the maid who’d stumbled onto Chief.

  While Dani and Stephanie dug for their IDs, Jake handed his over smoothly.

  The policeman, whose name tag read Smith, looked over Jake’s driver’s license, “There was a complaint from the manager that your horse assaulted one of the hotel’s maids.” He had his back to the manager and started chuckling. “Did I mention they said he was inside one of the rooms?”

  His partner, all sunglasses and attitude, was laughing under his breath as well.

  “Well…” Jake pointed at his trailer, “First off, Chief here ain’t ever assaulted anybody. Friendliest horse I’ve ever had.”

  Dani watched a smile creep over Jake’s face as he added, “In fact, he’s such a good horse, I figured if I was going to stay in this town a couple more days, he might as well have his own room. I had a maid lined up to take care of him, but I guess that didn’t work out.”