Decidedly With Baby

by Stina Lindenblatt

  “So,” Kelsey began, her focus on the road as she drove, “have you and Josh decided yet what will happen once Noah is born? Will Josh live with you two?”

  I shook my head, even though she couldn’t see me, and flipped on my happy, optimistic voice. “He’s not giving up his apartment, but that’s probably a good thing.” Yeah, I know. I hadn’t exactly answered her question. Did you think she noticed?

  Okay, she might not have noticed if I hadn’t followed that with, “There are so many unknowns about our future—there’s no point in me getting too attached to him.”

  Brilliant. Really smooth going, Hols.

  “What do you mean?”

  Well, since the kangaroo was out of the knapsack…

  “For starters, what happens if he’s traded? I can’t go with him. I’d lose my job.”

  “But you’d get a new one.”

  I let out a small laugh. Oops. Apparently, I forgot to turn on my casual, happy-go-lucky mode. “It’s not that easy. For one, I don’t have my green card yet. If I lose my job or leave it, it’s back to Australia I go.”

  “Does Josh know this?”

  I might have mentioned it once—before I got pregnant. I vaguely remembered that conversation from the night we got drunk—but I wasn’t one hundred percent certain it happened. “We haven’t discussed it, so I have no idea.”

  But given his team wasn’t purely American born, he must’ve known I needed a work visa to stay in the country—even if he didn’t know the specifics when it came to the immigration laws.

  Kelsey shot me a side-glance. “Why haven’t you discussed it? Maybe he can do something about it.”

  “Like what? Marry me? It’s either that or I find a new job that will sponsor my green-card application. But it’s not that simple.”

  “So Josh just has to marry you and you’d get to stay? That doesn’t sound too bad.”

  “Sure, except for two problems. First, this is all assuming he’d want to marry me. He’s always made it clear he’s not the marrying type.”

  “What’s the second problem?”

  I looked down at my belly. “When and if I get married, it will be because the man loves me. It’s not so I can stay in the country.” If I had wished to marry for convenience, I would’ve married Drew like Mum wanted.

  “But then Josh won’t get to see his son,” Kelsey said.

  Now if only What To Expect When You’re Expecting covered this.…Heck, if only any of the pregnancy and parenting books I’d bought covered it. Wanted to know what a birth plan was or the pros and cons of an epidural? The books had you covered. Wanted to know how to make your life sound less like a reality show? Then you were royally screwed.

  “I know—but so far none of this is an issue. I love my job and it will still be there when I return from maternity leave. And going on mat leave doesn’t cancel my work visa. So for now, I can stay in the country.”

  Kelsey was quiet for a few minutes, so I figured the conversation was over. I checked my phone to see if Josh had texted me. Drive safe!

  “You love him, don’t you?” she asked softly as I replied to his text.

  “Unfortunately. Yes.”

  “Unfortunately?”

  “Unrequited love always sucks the big one.”

  She chewed her lip for a second, still watching the road. “That’s true. But I don’t think in this case it is unrequited. He loves you too. He just doesn’t realize it yet.”

  “Even better. Now I just have to hope he figures out he’s possibly in love with me before it’s too late.”

  Did Kelsey miss the sarcasm? Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

  By the time we arrived in San Francisco, I could barely keep my eyes open. I hadn’t heard from Josh since we left the resort, so I figured I wouldn’t get to see him tonight.

  Or for the next four days—while he was away on another road trip.

  Kelsey pulled up in front of my Victorian-style building.

  And I blinked.

  Josh was sitting on the steps. Waiting for me.

  Even though he had a key to my apartment.

  “He didn’t want you to have to carry your bag upstairs,” Kelsey explained.

  My eyes must have grown as large as the full moon. “You knew he was here?”

  She nodded. “I called him during your last bathroom break and gave him our ETA.”

  After I thanked Kelsey for the ride and the fun weekend away, Josh helped me from the car and grabbed my bag from the trunk. The man was buzzing with an energy that was hard to figure out. It was like he was both excited and nervous at the same time—not your typical Josh.

  He threaded his fingers with mine and led me upstairs to my apartment. Once inside, he nodded at the spare room. Noah’s room—once I got around to setting it up. Another thing on my to-do list for while he was away.

  Curious as to what was going on, I walked into Noah’s room and flipped on the light switch.

  My breath? Completely stalled in my chest.

  The room looked exactly like the one I had recently seen in a maternity magazine—including the adorable koala mural on the wall behind the crib. The crib, changing table, and drawers were white as was the thick rug on the hardwood floor. There was even a stuffed koala, sitting in the corner of the crib.

  Speechless, I glanced at Josh.

  He rubbed the back of his neck, and for the first time since I’d known him, he appeared uncertain. Vulnerable. “Do you like it?”

  “You did this?” I asked, my voice soft, as I blinked back the tears that had nothing to do with my hormones.

  “With Trent and Travis’s help. Travis painted the mural.”

  “He paints?”

  “Apparently. Do you like it?”

  I turned around and flung my arms around his neck. “I love it! It’s perfect!” There might have also been kissing involved. The deep kind. The kind that woke up all my girlie parts from their nap.

  I don’t know how long we’d been kissing—a few minutes, a few hours—before I finally pulled away. “And I know Noah will love it too.”

  As if agreeing with me, the baby in question kicked me in the side. I grabbed Josh’s hand and positioned it on the spot. Noah did it again. That brought a big smile to Josh’s face. He never got tired of feeling his son kick.

  “I know you worry that you’ll be like your father,” I told Josh, “but you’ll never be like him. He would never have done something so sweet and wonderful.”

  The smile spreading on Josh’s face? It was enough to power the entire San Francisco Bay area and Sausalito during a power outage.

  I reached up and kissed him, a brief brushing of lips. “And thank you for the weekend. I’m guessing that was so you could do this?”

  My gaze fell on the single bookshelf—and two classic model cars on the middle shelf.

  Josh had decorated the room to reflect Noah’s parents. Except one thing was missing…

  “Why isn’t there anything to do with hockey in here?” I asked.

  “Because it didn’t feel right. My father practically shoved hockey down my throat to the point where I resented the sport. It didn’t feel right to do the same to Noah. If he wants hockey stuff in his room, then great. But that will be his choice.”

  Did you feel it? The ground trembling? That was me falling completely and utterly and irreversibly in love with him.

  I bit my lip, to keep the words from tumbling out. I didn’t want to scare him away, and I was positive the L-word would do exactly that.

  “How can he not love the sport?” I asked. “He and I will be at all your games, cheering you on, showing you how proud we are of you.”

  Noah kicked in agreement and I smiled.

  For a second, I thought I saw love in Josh’s eyes and my pulse picked up, pounding in my ears. But then the love disappeared as quickly as it had come.

  My hormones and I really needed to have a heart-to-heart. The last thing my poor fragile heart asked for was to imagine things
that weren’t true.

  Josh bent closer, his breath a kiss against my ear. “So, about my favorite black bra and panties…”

  And suddenly I forgot how tired I had been.

  Sex when your boyfriend is the sweetest man alive?

  Best sex.

  Ever.

  24

  Holly

  Josh smiled at me, the Christmas tree lights glowing softly on his face. Did I mention he was shirtless?

  And wearing only his briefs?

  Then he got down on one knee.

  Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

  Mentally cursing the bloody clock, my eyes still closed, I slammed my hand around my nightstand…until I murdered the noise.

  And since it had prematurely ended the dream, I considered murdering the clock too.

  I pushed myself out of bed—not that my body agreed with that thanks to my cold that had begun the other day. But it didn’t matter what my body wanted. I had to go into work for a few hours before I was officially off for the next three days.

  Why wasn’t I spending Christmas with my family in Australia? I mean, ignoring the part about my mum being mad at me. Flying that far when you were thirty-three weeks pregnant was never a good idea. Instead, I would be spending Christmas dinner with Trent and Erin’s family. And yes, Kelsey would be there too, which was an added bonus.

  Where was Josh going to be? He was flying to Connecticut in a few hours to spend Christmas with his grandparents.

  I swear by the time I was finished showering, there was barely any hot water left. On the bright side, I was temporarily able to breathe again because of the steam. Always an added bonus.

  I changed into my clothes and groaned as I caught sight of myself in the mirror. My skin was pale, but my nose still looked like it could’ve guided Santa’s sleigh tonight—if Rudolf hadn’t already signed up for the job.

  The worst part? I wasn’t allowed to take anything to make me feel better. All medications were off limits. So I did the only thing I could—I put on my makeup and hoped I didn’t look as bad as I felt.

  But it didn’t take long to realize that plan had been a big pregnant bust.

  “Why on earth are you working today?” Gladys asked as I walked into the Bristol Mathews reception area. She was our five-years-past-retirement-age receptionist who we couldn’t live without.

  “I didn’t take the day off.” It sounded like a good answer to me.

  “But, hun, you’re sick, and you need to rest up for the baby.” Did I mention Gladys had six kids—and a hockey team’s worth of grandchildren?

  “It’s only a half day, so I’m sure I’ll be fine.” At least that was what I said in my head. It didn’t quite come out that way thanks to my merry-crap-tastic congestion.

  “Well make sure you drink plenty of fluids.”

  Right. Because on top of my agenda for the day was to spend most of the morning peeing in the loo. “I’ll be sure to do that,” I said with as much of a smile as I could muster.

  Thirty minutes later, Trent strolled into my office—interrupting my delightful morning of attempting to read a business report between the frequent rounds of nose blowing.

  “Shit, Holly. You look awful.”

  “It’s a goddamn miracle you have a girlfriend, mate—what with the way you sweep a girl off her feet.”

  His mouth jerked up to one side. “Has anyone ever told you you’re cranky when you’re sick? Because if they haven’t, let me be the first.…” Risking his life, he sat down on the other side of the desk. “Besides, the last I heard, I wasn’t the one who swept you off your feet. And while we’re at it, I do plenty of feet sweeping when it comes to Kelsey.”

  That I didn’t doubt.

  “But you shouldn’t be here,” he continued. “You should be at home, resting.”

  I snorted. “Now you sound like Gladys.”

  “That’s because Gladys and I are brilliant—and you know it.”

  I rolled my eyes, mostly because it was true but I didn’t want to admit it. “I’ll be fine. It’s only a half day, and then I’ll go home and rest up for tomorrow.…But maybe I shouldn’t go to your parents’ tomorrow. I don’t want to risk Samantha getting sick.” And I was sure Erin and Samantha would appreciate it too.

  “But it’s Christmas. You can’t spend tomorrow on your own. That’s just not right.”

  “I won’t be alone,” I said.

  A puzzled frown creased his forehead. “You won’t be? I thought Josh was flying to Boston today.”

  “He is. But Julie Andrews is available anytime I need her. And what better way to spend Christmas than with a Julie Andrews movie marathon?”

  “Sounds like fun,” he said with a smirk.

  “It will be—and you’re just jealous you’re missing out on it.”

  He threw back his head in laughter. “Okay, you keep telling yourself that. But remember, the offer is still open for tomorrow. We’ll just make sure Sammy is in a hazmat suit.”

  “And I’m sure she’ll look adorable in it.” Was the sarcasm noticeable even with my stuffy nose?

  Soon after Trent left my office, my phone pinged with a text from Josh.

  How’s the sexy momma doing today?

  Ha! Not looking too sexy right now. You’re definitely not missing out on anything. Have a good flight!

  You shouldn’t be at work. You should be at home, looking after yourself.

  How did he know I was at work? Oh, yeah, where else would I be?

  I’ll be home soon enough. Then Julie Andrews and I have a hot date planned for tonight and tomorrow. It’s going to be epic.

  Sounds it.

  I know. Aren’t you sorry you’ll be missing out? lol

  A knock at my open door jerked my attention away from my phone. I returned it to my desk as I said, “Come in,” to Gladys.

  She entered carrying a mug. “I made you a warm drink with lemon juice and honey. It’s safe for the baby, and it will help with the cough and congestion.”

  “Thank you,” I said, glad for anything that made me feel even the tiniest bit better.

  I took the mug from her and sipped the heated drink.

  She handed me a piece of paper. “This is the recipe. You should drink it throughout the day. It will also help to keep you hydrated. Very important for fighting a cold.”

  “Thanks.” And a trip to the grocery store after work was now on the agenda.

  She left me with my drink, my report, and my thoughts. My pesky thoughts about how much I missed Josh. I hadn’t seen him since Sunday, four days ago. The team had been away on a pre-Christmas road trip.

  The good news? They weren’t scheduled for any more until the new year.

  The not-so-good news? Josh would be in Boston until December twenty-seventh.

  But if I was lucky, by the time he returned my cold would have vanished and I could give him his Christmas present.

  In the new black lacy slip that was practically see through.

  Even Santa’s elf couldn’t top that.

  “Okay,” Trent said, barging into my office a few minutes past noon. “You’ve been here long enough. Time to go home. And if you don’t leave now, I’ll drag you home kicking and screaming if I have to.”

  Noah kicked in agreement. Traitor.

  I released a long breath—which when you were thirty-three weeks pregnant wasn’t as long as you would like. “All right. You win. Just give me a few minutes and I’ll go willingly. No kicking or screaming required. And you won’t need to drag me home either. I’ll drive myself.”

  “Five minutes. That’s all I’m giving you.”

  I didn’t need that much time in the end.

  By the way—what’s the worst time of the year to hit the grocery store?

  Based on how crazy things were at the one I stopped at, you’d think everyone was getting ready for a zombie apocalypse.

  I spent forty minutes in the store just to buy lemon juice and a container of honey. Oh, and there might have been a
package of brownies and a new can of whipping cream in the basket too—for those three-o’clock-in-the-morning, emergency brownie cravings.

  The latest food that I couldn’t survive without.

  As I stepped onto my floor in my apartment building, a faint yet delicious smell greeted me. The same smell, only a little stronger, also greeted me when I opened my apartment door.

  People didn’t break into apartments and take the time to cook the victim a meal before offing them, right?

  Because someone was definitely in my kitchen.

  Cooking.

  “G’day?” I called out, still standing in the doorway. “Is someone here?”

  A rapid heartbeat later, Josh stepped from the kitchen. Which did nothing for my heartbeat—except now it was beating fast for a different reason.

  “Aren’t you supposed to be on the plane to Boston?” I whispered as he walked toward me. He had to be a mirage. A cold-induced mirage.

  “I changed my mind.” He took my hand and led me to the living room.

  “But why? I thought you were looking forward to seeing your grandparents.”

  He indicated for me to sit on the couch. “Do you really think I could go anywhere when you’re so sick?”

  “It’s a cold, Josh—not the bubonic plague.”

  “Doesn’t matter. You’re supposed to be taking it easy for both yours and Noah’s sake.”

  “I am taking it easy,” I said through my stuffy nose. Then coughed a really sexy, phlegm-laden noise. “Not that I’m not happy to see you or anything”—because I was. More than he could ever imagine—“but aren’t you worried about getting sick?”

  “If I get sick, I’ll deal with it. Anyway, I told my grandmother why I couldn’t make it for Christmas. She was more concerned about you and her great-grandchild. So she emailed her chicken noodle soup recipe, which is bound to help you feel ‘right as rain’ in no time. Her words, not mine.”

  I laughed, which probably sounded worse than it normally did, then covered my mouth. Sparing him from the agony of listening to it. “Sorry.”

  “For what?”

  “For laughing. I know it’s kind of a turnoff.” Which was why I couldn’t believe he was still around. But if it weren’t for the baby, he wouldn’t be. He’d be busy with puck bunnies and whatever.