Decidedly With Baby

by Stina Lindenblatt

  He winked at me. “I happen to know people in high places.” And a few hundreds slipped to the right person probably didn’t hurt either.

  “Well, tell them thank you from me. It was perfect.”

  Josh stopped skating and wrapped his arms around my waist. “No, it’s you, Holly, who’s perfect. Perfect for me.”

  Then he kissed me once more, deeply—and what could be more perfect than that?

  38

  Holly

  What’s five-month-old Lily’s favorite game? Watch this.

  I placed Snuggle Bear on the cream-colored rug in Lily’s bedroom and covered the floppy bear with the pink baby blanket. “Where did Snuggle Bear go?” I asked Lily in a sing-song voice. Since she wasn’t quite able to sit on her own yet, a pile of cushions propped her up.

  The little girl blew a raspberry—her favorite new sound, which she loved to practice whenever she could.

  Smiling at her, I whipped the blanket off the toy. “There she is.”

  Lily giggled. Didn’t she have the cutest giggle ever?

  The apartment door clicked open then shut.

  “Daddy’s home,” I said, loud enough so Josh would know where to find us. A moment later he entered the room, wearing shorts and a white T-shirt that clung deliciously to his sweaty body. “How was your run?”

  From the look of him, he had pushed himself to hell and back, pausing only long enough to down his favorite sports drink. But could you blame him?

  Yesterday, he was officially a Montreal Canadien.

  Today he was a free agent—with no idea where his future would take him for the next year or so.

  When would he find out if a team offered him a contract? Anytime between nine a.m. today and the beginning of the NHL season—in October.

  So anytime in the next three months—which made it really hard to plan things.

  What was I doing home on a Friday morning when I had returned to work last month?

  I loved my job, but I also loved being with Lily—and I needed the flexibility so we could fly out and visit Josh whenever possible, depending on where he ended up. We had already decided I would stay in San Francisco no matter what, and Josh would live with us during the off-season until he eventually retired from hockey. It wasn’t the greatest solution, but we would make it work.

  But I did have a long talk with my boss and then his boss. In the end, they offered me the opportunity to job share with the woman who had been covering for me while I was on maternity leave. She wanted to get her Masters degree in International Business. Job-sharing allowed her to do both that and work.

  It was a win-win for us both.

  And the best part? The switch in hours didn’t jeopardize my work visa status. Not that it would matter once Josh and I were married.

  Josh knelt on the hardwood floor—to avoid getting sweat on Lily’s rug. “The run was good.” He picked up the pink blanket and covered my head with it. “Where did Mommy go?” he asked Lily.

  She, of course, blew another raspberry.

  The blanket was yanked off my head. “There she is.”

  Lily giggled—and Josh leaned in to give me a brief kiss. “Guess I should have a shower now.”

  “That might be a good idea.” I gave his shoulder a little shove. Not enough to move him, but that didn’t matter. He pretended to fall over anyway.

  Lily giggled once more. One of her other favorite toys was the kind that you pushed over and it wobbled up again.

  “Uh, oh,” I said, “Daddy fell down.”

  Not overly concerned about this, she went back to practicing her air raspberries.

  Joshed pushed himself back onto his knees, pulled Lily’s koala T-shirt up (one of a million gifts my parents had sent her), and blew a raspberry on her belly.

  What’s her second favorite thing to blowing raspberries? Daddy blowing them on her stomach. She giggled and reached up to him.

  She really was Daddy’s little girl.

  Just as her T-shirt proclaimed.

  He kissed her forehead. “I’m all yucky, but as soon as I finish my shower I’ll pick you up. Deal?”

  Lily cooed in reply.

  She and I played while he showered, my heart suddenly pounding in my chest—like the countdown clock on New Year’s Eve.

  Ten. Nine. Eight…

  Only in this case, it taunted me with the reminder that nine a.m. was rapidly approaching.

  There would be no spectacular firework show once the clock struck midnight.

  But on the bright side, Lily’s crib wouldn’t be turned into a pumpkin either.

  For the past few weeks, rumors had been circulating about which teams were showing an interest in him, but while Josh chose not to talk about them, Trent had pointed out they were exactly that—rumors.

  And because I didn’t want to stress out about where Josh could be moving to next, I avoided anything where I might glimpse a knock-me-on-my-arse rumor.

  And that included telling my colleagues that under no circumstances, whatsoever, were they allowed to mention hockey in my presence.

  To do so would not be pretty.

  Naturally, I saved this announcement while holding one of Lily’s dirty diapers, so that might’ve had something to do with their total cooperation.

  “If we’re lucky, San Jose will sign Daddy,” I told Lily.

  But luck had nothing to do with it.

  Nor did wishing on a shooting star.

  But in case it did, I might have tried it. Once or twice.

  Okay, thrice.

  But you know what they say about three times the charm…

  “And I’ve heard Vancouver’s really nice,” I told her—in case he signed with another Canadian team.

  Please, please, please, if he has to join a Canadian team, make it Vancouver. Not only was it closer to San Francisco, it was the one Canadian city that didn’t suffer from brutal winters.

  Maybe I should’ve also wished for that when it came to the shooting stars—as Plan B.

  As Josh stepped from the bathroom, his phone rang from the kitchen table. He briefly glanced in my direction and I could’ve sworn I stopped breathing.

  I could hear him talking to whoever was on the other end but was unable to hear what he was saying. I couldn’t even tell if it was good news or not.

  After what felt like a hundred and twenty years, the phone call ended. Josh walked toward Lily’s room—his expression giving nothing away.

  “Was that your agent?” I asked. Seven. Six. Five…

  He shook his head and I released a shaky breath. “It was the Rock. They were calling me to tell me I got the internship.”

  “Internship?”

  “I didn’t say anything to you in case it didn’t pan out, but I’ve decided to retire from hockey.”

  “You have? But I thought you weren’t ready to give it up yet.” I couldn’t believe I was actually trying to talk him out of it—what was I thinking?

  I was thinking that I didn’t want him to give up on his dream, his goal, because of Lily and me. I didn’t want him to one day regret this.

  He sat on the rug. “I know, but I’ve been talking to a few players who recently retired. I decided this is the right time to do it. For me. For us.” He brushed his lips against mine. “And I was talking about it to someone I know in the marketing department. They have an internship position, and because of my experience with the team and my marketing minor in college, they offered it to me. I don’t know if it will result in a permanent position, but the experience will be worth it.”

  “But you’re sure this is what you want?”

  “Yes, this is what I want. Of course, my agent wasn’t thrilled with the idea.”

  “I bet.” Not when Josh had been making four million dollars a year.

  “But since my agent isn’t the one I’m marrying and my agent isn’t the one I plan to spend the rest of my life growing old with, he doesn’t have a lot of say in my decision.”

  Josh lowered his he
ad to mine, this time giving me a deeper, longer lasting kiss than the last one.

  And those fireworks? The ones that lit up the night sky at the end of the New Year’s countdown?

  They had nothing on the ones going off in my body.

  After a few minutes, Josh ended the kiss, resting his forehead against mine. “That was definitely worth ending my hockey career for. You’re worth ending it for.”

  And for the first time since Josh proposed to me, I could finally fully breathe—knowing the man I loved would always be there, by my side.

  Knowing that each night I went to sleep and each morning when I woke up, he would be there. Always.

  Knowing Josh wouldn’t be sacrificing what he loved to make Lily and me happy.

  He was doing what was right for him and what was right for us.

  As a family.

  Epilogue

  Josh

  Five and a Half Months Later

  Whoever said Christmas was for kids was wrong. Because when you were a ten-month-old baby, Christmas was totally for the parents.

  That’s right, Lily was almost a year old. And today she would be experiencing Santa for the first time. She had already seen him at the mall a few times but had no idea of his significance. She had been more excited with the pretty, shiny Christmas tree decorations.

  Had she already joined the throngs of kids waiting to see Santa at the mall? Nope—we wanted her first experience with the guy to be less traumatic.

  Don’t believe me that Santa could cause PTSD? The next time you see him at the mall, grab some popcorn and watch. Mothers love to get photos of their kids sitting on the big guy’s lap. But babies and young kids don’t always share the sentiment. The instant the baby realizes he’s on a stranger’s lap, he starts bawling. And that is the wonderful photo now gracing the family’s Christmas cards.

  Plus we didn’t want to risk Lily ending up with an overheated guy in a red suit who couldn’t stand kids. He was only doing it to earn some “easy” cash during the holidays. We wanted someone who was excited to play the role, and we wanted to avoid the stressed-out craziness.

  But most of all—we wanted Lily’s first Christmas to be special.

  So that brought us to why we were here at Trent’s sister’s house. Erin and her husband were having a Christmas party for their fourteen-month-old daughter and her toddler friends. Their house looked like Christmas had exploded all over the place, in the most awesome way.

  I placed Lily on the floor. As soon as her knees touched the carpet, she was crawling toward the tree—and to one glittery decoration in particular. Good luck to her future fiancé. If this was any indication, she’d be wanting a large sparkly engagement ring.

  Speaking of engagement rings—I made my way over to Trent, who was by the wingback chair near the window. He didn’t see me approach. He was too busy staring at his girlfriend, who was talking to Holly.

  Kelsey glanced in our direction, and from the way she suddenly blushed, she too hadn’t missed the heat in his eyes. She quickly looked away and answered whatever Holly had just asked her. Did I care what Holly had said? No—I was preoccupied with fantasizing about what I wanted to do to her tonight, once our daughter was asleep.

  “Did you get it?” I asked Trent, keeping my voice low.

  He nodded, knowing exactly what it I was referring to.

  Trent had decided that he didn’t need to date Kelsey for several years to know he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. The “it”? An engagement ring.

  “Have you seen Travis yet?” I asked, still keeping my voice low so the kids didn’t overhear me.

  “He’s getting changed now.”

  Who was playing Santa’s helper? The image of Holly in a sexy red-and-white dress and thigh-high boots popped into my head. Yep, this was my new sexual fantasy for the next two weeks.

  Hey, what did you expect? When it came to Holly, I was horny 24-7. Only now I didn’t have to suffer while on road trips. I got to come home to my living fantasy every night.

  Yes—life was great.

  Except for one thing.

  Holly hadn’t settled on a date yet for our wedding, even though we’d been engaged for seven months. That wasn’t to say her mother and my grandmother hadn’t hinted loudly that we should decide on one soon.

  Holly scooped up our daughter, and the two of them and Kelsey joined Trent and me.

  Kelsey wrapped her arms around Trent’s neck and gave him a kid-friendly kiss. “Having fun yet?”

  He leaned down, his mouth close to her ear, presumably to tell her something. Whatever it might’ve been was not kid-friendly, if Kelsey’s new round of blushing was any indication.

  “Da da da da,” Lily said and gave me a toothless grin.

  Don’t get too excited. She also liked to call me “ma ma.”

  “Can you keep an eye on her while I help Santa?” Holly asked me, then handed the little princess off and kissed my cheek.

  “Da da,” Lily said to Holly.

  “I’m hoping Santa’s helper will do a lot more to me later than just kiss me on the cheek,” I told Holly, not worrying about scarring Lily for life with that comment.

  “Don’t worry, I’ve got a lot more planned for later.” She kissed the top of Lily’s head. “Once we get this one to bed.”

  “I’m holding you to that.”

  Lily giggled. “Ma ma ma.”

  “Okay, sweetie,” Holly said to her. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with Santa.” She looked between us. “You think you two can keep out of trouble while I’m gone?”

  “Define keeping out of trouble,” I said with a smirk.

  She rolled her eyes and disappeared into the hallway with Kelsey.

  Kelsey returned a few minutes later with her camera. “Okay, boys and girls,” she said to the five toddlers dancing in the center of the living room to the kids’ Christmas music. “Are you ready to see Santa?”

  The toddlers stopped moving, mostly because Erin had turned off the music. They looked at Kelsey with their adorably clueless expressions. None of them knew who Santa was.

  The best thing about that age? It didn’t take much to get them excited. Their parents cheered as if this was the best news they’d ever heard, and the kids jumped up and down in excitement.

  So. Fucking. Cute.

  Holly walked in with Travis close behind. And no—she wasn’t wearing a sexy Santa’s helper outfit. She had on her navy wraparound dress and a bright red elf hat with white trim. But either way, she still looked hot as hell.

  On the other hand, I had to choke back a laugh when it came to Travis. Clearly his Santa’s outfit had been designed for someone who wasn’t six-three. And the beard didn’t look too comfy, especially for a guy who never even bothered growing a playoff beard. The extra stuffing around his middle was pretty amusing too, given his muscular build.

  But if his size intimidated the toddlers, they didn’t show it. They just stared at him, unsure what to do next. If anything, Travis was the one who seemed a little nervous. Amazing how a rowdy bunch of toddlers could have that effect on a man.

  Travis sat on the wingback chair, and one by one the toddlers visited with him.

  Finally it was Lily’s turn. Holly placed our daughter on Santa’s lap.

  Lily reached up and managed to tangle her small fingers in his beard, then yanked the white strands. “Da da da.”

  “I think she’s saying her daddy needs to grow a beard,” Travis said and threw in a few “Ho ho hos” for added effect.

  Holly laughed. “That’s okay. I’m perfectly happy with him the way he is.”

  I pulled her against me and murmured in her ear. “Perfectly happy with me enough to finally pick a wedding date? Because I want to spend every day of my life with you, and I’m more than ready to make it official.” My voice turned husky for the next part. “And I’m ready to spend our honeymoon with me fucking you so much, you won’t have the energy or desire to leave our room. That, Hot Stuff, is a
promise.”

  The tremor of her body? Yep—I was definitely getting to her.

  “Oh, you are, are you?” she murmured back, a smile in her voice. “You make a very interesting proposition. I’ll take your promise under advisement.”

  What did I crave? To put my hand on her sweet ass and pull her to me, then tell her in excruciating detail what I planned to do to her during our honeymoon.

  But there were two reasons as to why I couldn’t do exactly that. One—this was a kids’ party…so having my hands on her ass was not permitted. Two—Lily’s attention span when it came to Santa would only go so far.

  Santa handed Lily a present and I removed her from his lap. With her clutching the small gift, we returned to Holly.

  “What do you say, sweetheart?” I said to our daughter. “You ready to convince Mummy to pick a date for our wedding?”

  “Ma ma ma. Da da da.”

  I chuckled. “See? Even Lily is ready for us to get married.”

  Was I worried that Holly didn’t really want to marry me, and that was why she hadn’t set a date yet? No—not at all.

  So why the delay? It was the idea of organizing it that had her putting it off. It wasn’t like we were just dealing with friends and family who lived in the U.S. We were dealing with two continents on the opposite side of the world from each other. Which meant it would be a nightmare to plan.

  And guess where her mother was pushing for us to have the ceremony and reception.

  “You know, we don’t have to have a big ceremony,” I suggested. “We can have a small one in San Francisco for our close friends and immediate family. Then we can have one reception here and one in Australia.”

  Her eyes lit up. “You would be okay with that?”

  “I would be okay if it was just the three of us at the justice of the peace, with Trent and Kelsey witnessing it. I just want to marry you, Holly. The rest of it isn’t important.”

  She pressed her lips lightly against mine. “I love you, you know that?”

  I smiled. “So I’ve heard.”