by Beth Wiseman
CHAPTER 8
Rachel tiptoed through the living room in the darkness, deciding not to use the lantern for fear of waking up her parents. She shined a small flashlight at her feet to guide her steps and held her breath until she’d quietly closed the front door behind her.
Trekking across the yard, visions of a baseball bat again came to mind.
“What are you doing here?” she asked Abraham in an angry whisper. Then she pointed toward her right, away from the propane light in the yard, but also away from her parents’ open window. She motioned for him to follow her.
“I wanted to make sure Hannah is okay,” Abraham said once they’d put some distance between them and the house.
Rachel could barely see his face in the darkness. “Nee, she’s not okay. She has a twisted ankle and a scraped-up knee from running away from you.” She pointed the light at his face. He threw up a hand to block the glare, so she lowered it.
“I don’t know why she ran away. I looked everywhere for her. She just got really upset when I told her I didn’t want to date her anymore.” He took off his straw hat, hung his head, then ran a hand through his hair, sighing. “I didn’t know she would take it so hard.”
Rachel was quiet for a few seconds as she tapped a finger to her chin. “She said she broke up with you.” She raised her eyes to his, momentarily taken aback by how good he looked, even sweaty and breathless, like he’d run all the way here. “Hannah said you got really mad and scared her.”
“What?” Abraham’s jaw dropped. “Scared her? If anyone was scared, it was me.” He blew out a long burst of air, shaking his head. “Hannah is a great girl, and I’ve enjoyed spending time with her. But we just don’t have a lot in common, and I think she was already planning our wedding.”
Rachel recalled Hannah’s comment about Abraham being her future husband, but she stayed quiet. Then he put a gentle hand on Rachel’s arm, which sent a jolt of adrenaline soaring through her. But she took a step backward and focused on Hannah and the look on her face when Rachel and Gideon had found her.
“She was ab im kopp, Rachel.” He’d taken a step toward her again. “She went crazy when I tried to explain why I didn’t think it was going to work out between us. She started punching me and screaming at me.” He pointed to his right forearm, so Rachel shined the flashlight there, illuminating a purple bruise the size of an orange. “She can throw a pretty good punch too.” He shook his head. “Maybe things are different here, but where I come from in Ohio, people don’t do things like that. The Ordnung teaches us to be passive.”
Rachel leaned closer to his arm, keeping the flashlight in place. She had seen Hannah lose her temper, but she couldn’t imagine her sister hitting another person. For any reason. Except . . . She did hit a wall once. But a friend had just been killed in a buggy accident.
“You should probably go home, Abraham.” Rachel took a deep breath, even though her eyes found their way to Abraham’s lips. Just as her traitorous eyes had found their way to Gideon’s lips. It was as if they had a mind of their own. Desperation for a first kiss was mounting.
Abraham hung his head, sighing. “I can’t believe this happened. Maybe I should have broken the news to her more gently about breaking up. I just had no idea . . .” He lifted his eyes to Rachel’s. “Can you please just tell her that I am really sorry? I guess there isn’t a gut way to break up with anyone. When she ran off, I tried to find her, but it took me a while to ready the horse.”
“She shouldn’t have been at the cemetery. That place has a bad reputation.” Rachel’s thoughts went full circle as she wondered again if Hannah was pregnant. It was seeming less and less likely.
Abraham shifted his weight and shook his head again. “I just thought it was a quiet place to talk . . .” He grinned a little. “And maybe to kiss.”
Rachel adjusted the flashlight so her face wasn’t in the light. She could feel the warmth of a blush creeping up her neck to her cheeks.
“But I didn’t know it had a bad reputation. An Englisch guy told me about it, someone I work with at the lumberyard.” He blew out an air of frustration. “It’s true. We are unequally yoked with them—the Englisch—and we shouldn’t be so trusting.”
Rachel nodded. Her family had many Englisch friends who were very good people. But a few had crossed them over the years, usually for financial gain.
“Anyway.” Abraham tipped his hat to her. “I’m sorry I got you out of bed so late. Please tell Hannah that I wish her nothing but the best. I don’t want things to be awkward between us.” He put a hand over the bruise on his arm. “And I’d never do anything to embarrass her. I won’t tell anyone how she reacted to the breakup.”
You just did.
“I’m only telling you so you can be there for her. I thought you should know how upset she is.”
“What if she’d been the one to come outside?”
Abraham sighed again. “I would have told her again how very sorry I am and encouraged her to find someone else more suited to her.” He tipped his hat again before he turned to go.
Rachel waited until he’d walked down the driveway and was out of sight before she went back inside. When she eased open the bedroom door, Hannah was standing at the window.
Hannah trembled as she turned to face her sister. She’d fought the urge to hurry downstairs because it sounded like one of her parents had gotten out of bed. The pipes rattled the way they did when someone flushed the commode. She was already afraid one of them would find Rachel out in the yard with Abraham. So she’d stayed where she was.
“What was he doing here?” she asked through gritted teeth.
Rachel pulled her dress over her head, then sat down in her nightgown on the bed. “He came to say he was sorry for breaking up with you.”
“What? He didn’t break up with me. I broke up with him.” She scurried to Rachel’s bed and sat down beside her sister, twisting to face her. “He’s lying, Rachel. And he can’t be trusted.”
Hannah’s sister didn’t say anything.
“He’s just trying to make himself look good by saying he broke up with me.” She paused, sniffling. “I wouldn’t lie about this.”
Rachel was still quiet, avoiding Hannah’s eyes.
“You cannot, under any circumstance, go out with him. No matter how hard he might try to pressure you. I know you’re dating Gideon, and I think he is perfect for you, but I also know how charming and convincing Abraham can be.” She pointed a finger at Rachel. “Don’t let him sway you to his evil way of thinking.” Shaking her head, she repeated herself. “Evil, evil, evil.”
Rachel stared at her for a few moments. “Um, I’m pretty sure I can go out with whomever I want.”
Hannah’s jaw dropped as tears filled her eyes. “After what he did to me, you’d go out with him?”
“Even though we’ve never been allowed to date until now, you’ve never had any guy reject you. They followed you on the playground when we were young. They offered you desserts from their lunch pails. And the older we got, they practically salivated while they followed you around.” Rachel paused, bit her lip, then went on. “I’m just saying breakups must be hard, no matter who is doing the breaking up.”
Hannah stood up and looked down at her sister as she felt her heart breaking. “Really, Rachel, are you saying you don’t believe my version of the story?” She shook her head when her sister raised an eyebrow. “That’s not what I meant to say. It’s not a version of the story. It is the truth.”
Rachel rubbed her nose, a habit she had when she couldn’t make up her mind about something.
“I can’t believe you let Abraham sway your thinking. I’m your schweschder. What reason would I have to lie about whether I broke up or he did?” Hannah swiped at her eyes.
“You knew I wanted to go out with Abraham, but you swooped in and snagged him like a witch on a broom.” Rachel stood up and faced off with Hannah.
“Like a witch on a broom?” Hannah’s jaw dropped. They didn’t
celebrate Halloween, but they had plenty of Englisch friends who dressed up for the holiday. “That’s just mean, Rachel.”
“Well, it’s hard always being in your shadow, Hannah. You’re the prettier one, the one all the boys have always gone after.” Rachel’s eyes pooled with tears.
Hannah tried to touch Rachel on the arm, but her sister jerked away. “That’s not true.” She began to list all the reasons Rachel would be a better wife than she would, and as Rachel’s tears dried, Hannah said, “Gideon has always liked you, even when we were young. He’s such a wunderbaar person. He’s sweet, polite, he works hard, and—”
“I guess now that I have Gideon, you want him too!”
Hannah’s mouth fell open again. “Nee! I don’t. I’m just explaining how right you two are for each other and that Gideon has always had eyes—”
They both jumped as the door burst open so hard it slammed against the wall. Their father, wearing wrinkled black pants that he’d likely pulled from the laundry hamper, stepped over the threshold. His face was red as he ran a hand through his salt-and-pepper hair.
“Your mamm and I can hear you maeds arguing from our bedroom downstairs.” He looked back and forth between Hannah and Rachel. “This bickering between the two of you has been going on for months.” He stomped one of his bare feet. “It ends now.”
Hannah and Rachel sat down on their respective beds and nodded.
“And another thing . . .” Daed pointed his finger at Rachel, then at Hannah. “The next time I see a boy over here late at night, especially one throwing rocks at the window, I’m going to bolt out of this haus in my underwear and embarrass the both of you.” He scratched his head, then ran his hand the length of his beard. “Whose boyfriend is he, anyway?” He looked at Hannah as his bushy eyebrows leaned into a frown.
“I broke up with him. He’s not my boyfriend.” Hannah shrugged.
Their father glowered at Rachel. “Is he your boyfriend now?”
Rachel stared significantly at Hannah, and Hannah sighed. “Daed, he’s neither one of our boyfriends. You don’t have to worry about him. Neither one of us plans on dating him.”
Their father grumbled. “Well, gut. Maybe you two can get straight with each other now. Being schweschders is a gift from God, and when you treat each other the way you two have, it disappoints the Lord, and it hurts your mudder and me.”
Hannah and Rachel both said they were sorry, and their father left. Hannah was ready to sleep, but as she got comfortable on her bed atop the covers, Rachel didn’t move. Hannah could feel her glare. “What now?” she asked.
“You can’t control who I date. Why did you tell Daed that neither of us plans on dating Abraham?”
Hannah squeezed her eyes closed, tempted to start yelling at Rachel, but that would only get them in more trouble. “It doesn’t matter anyway. You’re dating Gideon.”
There was a long silence, and Hannah was grateful for it. Yawning, she settled into her pillow, hoping Rachel would extinguish the lantern and get to sleep as well.
“I’m not really dating Gideon.”
Hannah rolled onto her side and faced Rachel. “You were just out with him when you found me. And you said he asked you out for next Saturday. That sounds like dating to me.” She yawned again.
Rachel smirked as she folded her arms across her chest. “We are just pretending to date.”
Hannah blew out a big breath of air, rolled her eyes, and sat up. “What does that even mean?”
“It means that Gideon and I are pretending to be dating to cheer up his mother. It was his idea. He said she is really depressed, and he thought that maybe us spending time together might lighten her spirit and motivate her to accept the changes she needs to make in her life because of her diabetes.”
Hannah put her hands over her face, fighting the urge to scream.
“So, if Abraham were to ask me out, I’d be free to go. Gideon and I would just pretend to break up sooner than we’d planned.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Did it occur to you that Gideon might just be saying that, about cheering up his mother, because he really does want to date you but didn’t know how to ask you?”
Rachel shook her head. “Nee. It’s not like that with Gideon and me. We’re like best friends. He wouldn’t need to make up something like that.”
“I disagree. But you would be silly to stop seeing someone like Gideon and start dating Abraham.” Hannah lowered her head, her mind reeling in defeat. No way was she going to start seeing Abraham again. Especially after Rachel seemed to believe his lies.
“I’ll date whomever I want.”
Rachel snuffed out the lantern, and Hannah settled back into her pillow. “Gut. So will I.” She thought about all she’d put up with, the effort she’d put forth to keep Abraham’s roaming hands off her and the mean things he’d said to her. All sacrifices to protect Rachel. But rage and self-pity were percolating now. “Maybe I’ll even date Gideon now that I know he’s available.”
Rachel called Hannah a name she’d only heard used by the Englisch. And Hannah threw it right back at her.
Their father was wrong. Being Rachel’s sister wasn’t a gift. It was a curse.
CHAPTER 9
By the time Saturday came around, Rachel didn’t feel as though she had a sister. She and Hannah weren’t fighting, but they weren’t speaking either, and they both made every attempt to avoid each other, although they were careful to be civil in front of their father. But as Hannah used the treadle sewing machine in the corner of the bedroom, Rachel had no choice but to share space with her sister. Rachel needed to get ready for her date with Gideon.
Earlier in the week, Hannah had taken the bottle of essential oil out of the bedside table drawer. Their mother had been making a concoction of rose, lavender, and cloves since they’d started having monthlies, so Rachel could now rule out any possibility that Hannah was pregnant. Apparently Abraham had been telling the truth, saying all he and Hannah had done was talk and kiss. And if he’d been telling the truth about that, then maybe everything else he’d said was accurate and Hannah was bitter because a guy had broken up with her. In a community where pride was frowned upon, Hannah had an overabundance of it.
Rachel pulled a dark-green dress from the rack on the wall and started ironing. It wasn’t even a minute later when Hannah pushed back her chair, bit the thread from whatever she was working on, and then huffed her way out of the room.
Good riddance. Even as Rachel had the thought, it seemed to swirl around her heart and squeeze. She wasn’t sure how much longer this could go on. She missed Hannah. She missed her sister.
Show me how to fix it, she prayed. Although, to be truthful, she already knew the answer.
Hannah sat on the porch step in her bare feet and wiggled her toes, leaning back on her palms as the sunrays beat down on her. This part of the day was always the hottest, and the first week of July was giving them no mercy. But she was prepared to sit in the heat for however long it took. She wanted to be the first one to welcome Gideon. She wanted to ask him if it was true that he and Rachel were only pretending to date to cheer up his mother.
But if Rachel had lied, then it would only hurt Gideon’s feelings to mention anything. She’d have to figure out another way to find out.
When she saw Gideon’s buggy coming up the driveway, she stood and put a hand to her forehead, shading her eyes. A part of her wanted to throw herself at Gideon because she was so angry with Rachel. But her protective side—the side that had been winning out lately, despite everything—wanted to test Gideon’s intentions. Was Rachel truly his first choice? Or given the opportunity to choose, would Rachel drop into second place?
As she plotted, she had to question why she was really doing this. Were her own intentions aimed strictly at protecting Rachel, making sure her sister was number one to Gideon? Or did she hate to see a great guy like Gideon slip out of reach for herself?
Did she hate to see any guy slip out o
f reach? A battle raged inside her as she considered Abraham. How much of her time with him had been solely to keep him away from Rachel? And how much was because Hannah had enjoyed their time together, at least at the beginning? She questioned whether or not she’d been truthful with herself.
Shaking her head, Hannah walked toward Gideon’s buggy, wondering when all the lying and secret keeping had inched into all their lives. But it didn’t stop her from swaying her hips a bit more than necessary as she made her way across the yard.
“Wie bischt,” she said when Gideon stepped out of his buggy. He would go to the door most likely, the way he did last time he picked up Rachel.
Unlike Abraham.
Hannah took a deep breath. She’d have to see Abraham tomorrow at worship service unless she feigned being sick, and she wasn’t sure she could heap another deception onto the pile. She forced the thoughts aside, blinked her eyes at Gideon, and smiled.
“Hi, Hannah. Are you feeling better than the last time I saw you?” Gideon grinned as he loosely tethered his horse, then leaned his elbows on the top rung of the fence.
“Ya, I am. And danki for taking such gut care of me.” She lowered her eyes. “It’s embarrassing that I let myself get into a situation like that.”
“I’d like to have a word or two with Abraham about it.” Gideon straightened, puffing out his chest.
Hannah shook her head. “Nee, please. Let’s just leave it alone. I don’t want to draw attention to it. I’m already afraid Abraham is going to make things up about me because he was so mad that I broke up with him.”
Gideon nodded. As much as he disliked Abraham for what he’d done to Hannah, it was probably best to let the situation die down. “I won’t let him talk badly about you. If I hear him doing that, I’ll speak up. But otherwise I won’t approach him. Does that sound fair?” Gideon came around the fence and into the front yard.
Hannah nodded before she edged closer to him and put her arms around his waist. She laid her head against his chest. “Danki for being so gut to me.”
