Concealed - A Hiding From Love Novel #2

by Laurence, Selena

  I stand up from alongside the bike just as Beth’s car pulls into the spot next to me. Alexis must have borrowed it because she’s driving and gives a small wave, holding up a finger in a wait just a minute gesture. She turns the car off, gathers a bunch of crap off the front seat, and climbs out.

  She’s wearing a pair of denim cut-offs that cup her ass like custom-made gloves. Her white tank top is ribbed and dips low under her arms, showing off even more of her smooth golden skin. For a moment, I’m mesmerized by that little swatch of skin – its texture that looks like dull satin, how warm it would be, maybe damp with her perspiration, what it would feel like gently giving under my tongue while I lick my way from her hip to her shoulder. The semi I’m sporting within a few seconds makes me glad for the loose work jeans I still have on.

  “Hi,” she says as she turns to face me.

  “Hey, babe,” I answer softly.

  She smiles awkwardly, and suddenly I felt like there’s hope. Hope for me. Hope for the world. Hope for love.

  “What are you carrying?” she asks as she leans over my bike to look at the leftovers container.

  “Carnitas,” I answer, holding it up for her to inspect.

  She looks at me and squints. “Uh, what?”

  “Tina’s famous carnitas. I was just over at my boss’s house for dinner.”

  “Seriously? Who’s your boss?”

  “Ramon Delgado. Ramon’s Repairs over on South Congress? Yeah, I just spent two hours being grilled about Afghanistan by every damn compadre and cousin he’s got. Must have been twenty-five people there. Luckily Tina kept the food coming so it was all good.”

  I think back to the chaos that was family dinner at Ramon’s. As the only child of a single mom, I’m not used to all that. Old people, kids, babies, dogs, the doorbell ringing nonstop. But amazingly, I liked it once I settled in. I could see how a big family is there for you. When Ramon mentioned he was having trouble with a toilet downstairs, his uncle the plumber headed right down to fix it. When Tina ran out of some spice she needed for the food, the niece who’d just gotten her driver’s license went to the store to pick up more. It was pretty cool to see how a lifetime of relying on one another turned them into a well-oiled machine.

  I can see how surprised Alexis is about where I spent my evening. It gives me the opening I’m looking for. “You eaten yet? Come on in and I’ll get you a plate of this stuff. It seriously fucking rocks.”

  She stiffens and I feel my heart take a tumble down to my knees. My big chance is about to take a hike. I have to move fast.

  “C’mon, we all know how you get when you don’t eat.” I give her a little wink. “I promise I won’t bite. Hell, leave the door to the apartment open if you want. But I’ll feel really guilty if you’re upstairs alone all teary with your blood sugar crashing and I’ve got this great food sitting here in my fridge.”

  She finally cracks a smile. “Okay,” she says. “It does smell really good. And you’re right. I haven’t eaten since about eleven this morning.”

  “Jesus, when will you ever learn? Come on, babe. Let’s get you fed.”

  Inside my apartment, I spend a few minutes frantically grabbing underwear off the kitchen counters and shoving dirty socks in the closet. I’ve never put much stock in trying to impress chicks when they come to my place, the bed being the main thing they’ll be seeing, but I’m smart enough to realize that being a disgusting pig isn’t going to score me any points with a woman I actually give a shit about.

  Once I’ve heated up a plate for Alexis, I crack open a beer. “You want one?” I offer, holding mine up to show her it’s a Fat Tire.

  “Sure,” she says from her seat on the sofa. God, she looks good on my furniture. She’s wearing those same black cowboy boots with her little cut-offs, and the mile of fucking outrageously sexy leg between the two is about to undo me.

  I bring her plate and beer over and set them on the coffee table before I take a seat, careful not to crowd her. I sense she might flee if I push too hard.

  “So.” I watch her as she eats. “Does this mean we’re calling a truce?”

  She looks up from her plate but keeps chewing. She’s methodical when she’s hungry like this. She’ll keep shoveling it in until she can’t eat another bite. I just love to watch her sweet lips curl around the fork, so I don’t care how long it takes her.

  She takes a swig of beer and swallows. “I don’t know. What does a truce entail?”

  I sigh and settle into the pillows farther, propping my feet up on the coffee table. “Look, I didn’t come here to make your life miserable. I came here… I came for a chance. A chance at something I’ve only dreamed about. I don’t only want you…” I level a look at her that I hope conveys just how much I do want her. She blushes, so I guess it worked. “I want the whole package. A job I love, the woman I love, a place to be my home.

  “I’m done, Alexis. I’m done with the random hook-ups and the college classes I don’t care about. Done watching out for Nick and my mom. I’ve spent every minute since I was eighteen taking care of business. The Army’s business, Nick’s business, my mom’s business. And I know I chose it, but I’m tired now, and the only business I want to take care of is the business of getting myself a life.”

  She looks at me so seriously then. I hope I’m not screwing things up. I might never get another chance.

  “I sat on a beach in Hawaii every day for eighteen months and thought about what the hell I wanted to do with my life. Each and every time it started with you. You and me and what we had in Afghanistan.”

  She opens her mouth to protest.

  “I know. I know you don’t think it was based on the real us or whatever. I don’t want to argue with you anymore. I don’t want to be pissed anymore. I want you to understand why I came. What I feel when I look at you, Alexis. What you mean to me. You’re the start of my life. The beginning of me. The core of who I’ll become.”

  She bites down on her bottom lip and raises her eyes to mine, her expression one of utter misery.

  I reach over and cup her soft cheek carefully. “I don’t want to make you unhappy, and if you don’t want to talk to me or see me, then so be it. You gotta understand though – I’m not staying to fuck up your life, babe. I’m staying to save mine.”

  Alexis

  Quien bien ama, tarde se olvida.

  True love never grows old.

  GABE Thompson – soldier, womanizer, Harley-riding, tattoo-sporting, hot-ass piece of man candy – pledges his love and devotion to me and a small piece of my soul takes flight. I look at his face, look into his eyes, and there is none of his usual cocky snark. Just Gabe. What did he say to me? The ‘naked, pure, essential’ Gabe. I’m so emotionally poleaxed that I start to shake. And there I am, shaking like a maraca while I sit on Gabe’s sofa in his messy little apartment.

  “Hey,” he says as he reaches his arm out and wraps it around my shoulders. “Come here.” He pulls me in to his side and encloses me in both arms. Everything that has been brewing for the last two weeks, maybe for the last two years, bubbles up inside of me, and I hurt. I hurt so damn bad that I think it might tear me in two.

  He doesn’t say anything to me. He simply holds me while I shake and my heart breaks into a thousand tiny splinters of glass. I know, in that moment, my life has changed. The me my parents and Marco saw, the girl I was before Afghanistan, isn’t here anymore. She died in that cave while scary people blew up trucks and shot guns at one another and a brave, brave boy stood guard over her body and her heart. Now that boy is a man who is asking me to be his, to share his life with him, to give him a home. But who am I? If I’m not the girl my parents raised, if I’m not Marco’s girlfriend, who am I?

  It’s two hours later when I wake up with a stiff neck and a wicked headache. I spend a minute trying to get my bearings in an unfamiliar dark room. As I try to sit up, an arm tightens around me and I remember I’m with Gabe.

  “Shhh,” he whispers in the dark. “Just stay
.” He slides us farther down the sofa until we’re stretched out, him behind me. Then he pulls my body against his tight, wraps an arm around my waist, and sighs like the weight of the world has just been lifted off his shoulders.

  “You’re pretty good at this spooning stuff,” I whisper back to him as I feel him nuzzle my hair.

  “I learned from the best,” he replies, and my mind flashes to a cave in a desert and a soldier who’d never actually slept with a woman before. “No matter what happens tomorrow, Alexis, I love you,” he breathes in my ear.

  “I know,” I answer. “I know.”

  Gabe’s alarm goes off at an ungodly hour and I am reminded that life with a full-time job is very different than life as a college student.

  I feel his big hot body stretch behind me as he reaches over me to grab his phone and shut the alarm off.

  “Good morning,” he growls as he rubs a hand up and down my arm.

  “Hi,” I answer, still facing away from him.

  “I have to get ready for work, but you’re welcome to stay and sleep.”

  “No, I, uh, I should get going. You know, back to my apartment and stuff.” I sit up and turn to look at him. He’s stretched out on his side on the sofa, head propped up on his bent arm. His hair has gotten just long enough to be mussed in the morning, and he has a shadow of whiskers along with a sleepy smile on his face. He’s like six foot one inches of unapologetic sex. You could prop him up in a store window and women on the street would bid their life savings for a night with him.

  He reaches his free hand over to my hair and gently strokes it. “Maybe you’ll come have dinner with me again sometime?”

  I swallow the giant lump in my throat back down and nod dumbly at him.

  “Good,” he says, suddenly springing up from the sofa. “I’m hitting the shower. You want to join me?” he grins as he peels off his t-shirt.

  Holy hell.

  “What’s the matter, babe? Cat got your tongue?” He winks at me as he strides to the bathroom, where he leaves the damn door open as he begins stepping out of his jeans.

  I run for the exit.

  Gabe

  Toma las cosas como vienen.

  Take things as you find them.

  I saunter into work all sunshine and rainbows. “It’s a fucking beautiful day, man, isn’t it?” I ask Mike as I slap him on the back and thrust a cup of Starbucks in his hand.

  “For me?” He looks at me suspiciously. “What’d they screw up your order or something?”

  “No, dude. I’m just trying to be a nice guy. I bought you a cup of coffee. Shit, relax.”

  He snorts. “Yeah, right, except you’re not nice. You’re a dick.”

  I laugh. “Well, it’s a nicer me.”

  Suddenly his eyes get wide. “Holy shit, you finally got laid!” he exclaims.

  I shake my head at him in mock disgust. “Is that all you ever think about?” I ask in the best imitation I can do of an uptight librarian.

  “Like you think about anything else, asshole,” he deadpans.

  “Okay, fine, but I only think about it with one chick these days, and while I didn’t get laid, I did have a sleepover with that very beautiful woman last night, so yeah, it’s the new and improved me.”

  “No shit? Alexis finally took pity on your lovesick ass?”

  “Fuck that. She was just reminded of the incredibly hot commodity I am. The woman’s coming to her senses. Just watch and learn, brotha.”

  “Yeah? So she broke up with the boyfriend?” he asks.

  I scratch my head, and I can feel my face heat.

  “Dude,” Mike says, disapproval in his voice. “She is gonna mind-fuck you like nobody’s business.”

  “Unless one of you idiots is actually getting fucked right this minute, get your asses to work,” Ramon hollers from the far bay.

  Mike shakes his head and chuckles. “Yeah, I don’t think either of us is getting any for a while, bro.”

  “Dick,” I mumble as I head over to the ancient Toyota I have to try to revive. Suddenly the day doesn’t seem as bright and sunny as it did.

  After work that night Mike invites me to a barbeque at his parents’ house. We head over after work, each of us carting a case of beer, Mike with a bouquet of flowers in his other hand.

  “The flowers for your mom or Denise?” I ask him, grinning.

  “Shut up, asshole,” he snarls back. “They’re for you to give to my mom.”

  “Wait, what?” I ask as we step onto his folks’ front porch. He shoves the bouquet in my hand just as his mom opens the front door.

  “Mike! You didn’t tell me you were bringing a friend!” she says as she turns a big smile on me while I’m standing there like a total ass with beer in one hand and cheap grocery store flowers in the other.

  I shove them out in front of me. “Hi Mrs. Duncan. These are, uh, for you.”

  She exclaims over them, fussing about finding a vase as she leads us into the house.

  “I’ll get you back for that,” I warn Mike quietly as we go inside.

  He chuckles. “No, you’ll thank me when you see how much extra food that little gift gets you.”

  He has a point.

  Mike has several aunts and uncles and sets of cousins who live in the area, so the barbeque is well attended. I’m happy to see Carla there, and we settle down at a picnic table near the swimming pool to eat dinner together.

  “So, how’ve you been?” I ask.

  “Good. I’m glad to see you survived that little brunette who grabbed you at Margie’s the other night. She looked pretty pissed.” She looks at me with what could only be described as disapproval.

  “Well, it wasn’t what it looked like.”

  “Oh? What did it look like?” she asks.

  “Like I was bumping and grinding with you instead of my girlfriend,” I answer honestly.

  “Now that you mention it, that’s exactly what it looked like. And felt like. Not that anything was going to happen with us, but I’m not a homewrecker, Gabe, and that wasn’t too cool.”

  I take a big swig of the cold beer sitting in front of me. “The girl… It’s complicated…”

  She rolls her eyes. “Isn’t it always?”

  I laugh then shake my head. “No, seriously. We were together, but it was a long time ago, and I came to Austin to see if maybe we could try again, but she’s got a serious boyfriend, and I’m not making much progress.”

  “I’d say you’re making more progress than you think given how jealous she looked when she saw us dancing.”

  I sigh. “Yeah, it’s like one step forward, two steps back. I don’t know what the hell’s going on in her head and she’s not been real forthcoming about giving me hints.”

  She reaches across the table and puts her hand on mine. “I’m really sorry. Broken hearts suck. If there’s anything I can do, just let me know.”

  I smile at her. She’s sort of like a port in a storm. I spend all day every day being buffeted around on the waves of my emotions for Alexis. Talking to Carla is soothing. I don’t have to try to guess what she’s thinking or what I’m supposed to be saying. She tells the truth, and I can be me. It’s simple and restful and I’m tired.

  “Hey,” Mike yells as he comes walking over. “Me and Denise want to go see that new slasher movie. You two coming?”

  I raise an eyebrow at Carla. “You game?”

  “Sure,” she says. “I’ll just get up earlier tomorrow to do my econ reading.”

  “Oh man,” I moan as I stand up and pick up both of our plates and cups. “I fucking hated econ.” She laughs, and after I toss the garbage, I hook an arm around her neck and give her a noogie. “Keynesian theories of demand and production are soooo sexy!”

  She yelps and tries to slap me on the ass, and we all head off for popcorn, blood, and guts.

  Alexis

  Dolor comunicado, dolor alviado.

  A problem shared is a problem halved.

  I avoid Marco for two days after
I’ve spent the night at Gabe’s apartment. I also avoid Gabe. I pretty much stay locked in my apartment, coming out only to go to those classes I absolutely have to attend.

  On day three, Beth shows up and nearly beats the door down. When I finally let her in, she’s pissed.

  “What the hell, Lex? Is this how you deal with your shit? Lock everyone out and refuse to leave your apartment? Marco and I have been calling you for three days. If you hadn’t given us those couple of texts, we might have had the cops over here to search for your dead body.”

  I run a hand through my disheveled hair and hitch up my baggy sweats. “Sorry,” I mumble.

  “Hey,” Beth says, looking at me with concern in her voice. “What the hell’s going on, Lex? This is more than trying to avoid Gabe.”

  I flop down on the sofa and Beth takes the armchair. She keeps her older sister eagle eye on me until I crack.

  “I spent the night at Gabe’s the other night.”

  “Holy hell!” she gasps out.

  “It’s not exactly what you think. Everyone’s clothes were on. We talked and it was a tough discussion. We just sort of fell asleep on the sofa and I don’t know, but I can’t do this to Marco. It would kill him if he found out. What am I going to do, Beth?”

  She looks at me with sympathy in her eyes. “Oh, sweetie. You knew this was coming. You didn’t really think you could avoid it, did you?”

  I sigh, shaking my head. “I only hoped,” I whisper.

  “I know.” She stands up and moves to the sofa, where she puts her arm around me. I rest my head on her shoulder. Big sisters are really useful things at times like these.