A Witch's Guide to a Good Brew

by Jose Rodriguez-Copeland

  “No assholes allowed. New company policy.”

  He stared at me and took the cup in his hands. My eyes connected with his.

  “Yeah, Rooney. I’m on my way over,” he said. After the man left, Tessa slouched her shoulders.

  “He’s bad news,” said Tessa.

  “A dirtbag is what he is,” I said.

  “No,” said Tessa, putting her arm over mine. “He’s really, really bad news. I can sense it.”

  That comment stopped me in my tracks. Tessa’s downcast look made me realize that there was something I missed. I tried to address it, but she turned to attend to a new set of customers.

  “Today was a lot slower than yesterday,” said Tessa. She and Elise were wiping down the tables while I handled the cash register. The post-lunch rush had finished, leaving only a few stray customers in the restaurant.

  “Fridays are usually like this,” I said.

  “People save up their money and spend it all in bars,” said Elise. “At least, that’s how I am.”

  “Do most people in the city have Saturday and Sundays off?” said Tessa. Elise raised her brow. Tessa and I convinced Elise that Tessa was from a rural part of the state and never left her small town before. It wasn’t entirely untrue, and it covered our bases whenever Tessa said something unusual.

  “That’s right,” I said. “How is it where you come from?”

  “People work every Saturday and some Sundays. There’s always a lot of work to do and never enough people… in the countryside, I mean,” said Tessa.

  “Sounds about right,” said Don Mortimer. He and his wife Julie were sitting in a nearby table, each reading their own paperback.

  “Are you originally from the countryside?” I said, bringing two cups of coffee and a warm croissant.

  “Is this for us, dear?” said Julie.

  “On the house,” I said.

  “You’re too kind,” she said.

  “Which means he doesn’t take after his uncle,” said Don with a chuckle. “We both grew up in farms. They don’t exist anymore, but sometimes I like to reminisce. Promise to scatter my ashes in a nice field, will you Julie?”

  “Don’t talk like that,” said Julie. “You’re as healthy as can be.”

  “You can’t die yet Don,” I said, retreating to my spot behind the counter. “If you do, the Twisted Cauldron will lose half its customers.”

  Our corner of the café burst into laughter. Don slapped his knee so hard I thought the whole thing would fall off. I looked at my watch and saw that it was time for Tessa and I to take a break.

  I invited her to sit in the table closest to the window.

  “I brought us some sandwiches from home,” I said.

  “What!? When did you have time to make them?”

  “This morning,” I said. “They’re ham and cheese.”

  Tessa bit down on the sandwich. She tilted her head.

  “Not your best work,” she said.

  “You’ve literally known me for a day,” I said. “Cut me some slack. Just for that, I’m taking it out of your paycheck.”

  “I get a paycheck?”

  “It would be illegal otherwise,” I said. “It’s in US dollars. Do witch colonies have their own currency?”

  “We use dollars too. I used up most of my money traveling here, so any help is appreciated. I can’t wait to spend money at malls!”

  Tessa had a glitter in her eyes that made it hard not to smile.

  “Oh yeah? Why do you want to go to a mall when you can just order stuff online?”

  “I’m not too well-versed on the wizardry that powers the World Wide Web. I would rather not experiment with such powerful forces,” she said. “I want to go to a clothing store, try out clothes and buy some. Just like they do in movies.”

  “Other than movies, did you… experience anything else from the outside?” I said. Having this conversation made me realize that if Tessa didn’t know about the internet, she sure as hell didn’t own a phone.

  “No, not at all. For entertainment, young witches would raid the library and read through musty books. Once a month they hosted a movie showing in the lawn outside of the council.”

  That made me appreciate my freedom to access entertainment far more. It also made me question why, if witches were so insular, did they allow Tessa to journey outside. Did all witches go through this, or was Tessa special?

  “Then going to the mall is going to blow your mind,” I said. “You ready?”

  “Ready for what?” said Tessa, finishing the last of her sandwich.

  “I’m taking you to our local mall tonight. Showing you around.”

  “Really?” said Tessa. She jumped up, causing the chair she sat in to stumble back. “Will you really take me Raul?”

  “Sure,” I said. “It’s the least I could do. We can go after we close at 6PM.”

  “I’ll be sure to do an extra good job until then,” said Tessa. She took a broom from the storage closet and swept the floors with a bounce to her step. Even I found it hard to contain my own grin.

  “Does this look good?” said Tessa. She flaunted her outfit in the middle of my kitchen. She wore a tight-fitting blazer over a white button-up shirt. A long black skirt with purple accents fluttered as she walked in circles.

  “Yeah, it does,” I said. It was very attractive.

  “Say it like you mean it,” she said. “I don’t believe you.”

  “You’ll be the prettiest witch there, I’m sure.”

  “There’s no doubt about that,” she said. “Most witches have terrible sense of style. Black one-piece, black socks, black shoes. If you walk into a house of witches you’d think someone had died.”

  “And what about me?” I said. I wore the same outfit I did for work at the Twisted Cauldron, except I changed into a different pair of slacks.

  “You look like you’re about to serve someone a hot muffin,” she said, laughing.

  “Yeah, well I’m your boss, so my sense of style is always on point,” I said. “You ready?”

  Tessa put on her witch hat and fixed it in place. For some reason she wasn’t satisfied until it rested atop her head at a specific angle.

  “Now I am.”

  The outdoor mall was a few blocks further than the café, and in the opposite direction. It featured dozens of stores, each only a few feet apart. Tessa pointed out every little thing that was the least bit interesting to her. From a gaudy store display to a woman’s revealing neckline, nothing escaped her notice.

  “Careful,” I said. “You might get sensory overload.”

  “My senses are finely tuned and keener than any man’s—what’s that?”

  Tessa ran to a clothing store’s window display.

  “That skirt’s so cute,” she said. Her face was so close that her breath fogged the glass. She referred to a light yellow skirt with tiny floral designs dotting the fabric.

  “Do you want to try it on?” I said.

  “You can do that? Even to the window ones?” she said.

  “Well yeah. They sell anything that’s on display.”

  “Then let’s go,” she said. Tessa took my hand and brought me inside the store. It was lightly perfumed and filled with women browsing.

  “Excuse me,” said Tessa. She was so loud that every woman inside turned to stare at us.

  A woman approached her with a smile.

  “Hello. What would you be interested in?” said the woman.

  “That skirt!” said Tessa, pointing at the back of the display. “Can I try it on?”

  “The display one? We have it over here,” said the woman. She guided us to the rack with the new arrivals and unhooked the desired skirt. Tessa was so overjoyed that she tightened her grip on my arm, threatening to obliterate every bone inside.

  While Tessa went to the dressing room, I looked through the price. At $129, it was out of my price range… but I could technically afford it. By “technically” I mean that there are more than $129 in my bank accoun
t. It would hurt, but I could live with it.

  “Raul!” said Tessa from halfway across the store. I jogged to her side to avoid any further embarrassment.

  The new skirt complemented her blazer in a way the old one never could. Tessa seemed to realize this too, as she grabbed onto it with one hand and danced.

  “I can see myself doing some wonderful mag—”

  I ran up to Tessa and put my hand over her mouth. I removed it quickly after, careful to avoid any more attention.

  “Some wonderful, uh… work, with this skirt,” said Tessa.

  “You look so lovely,” said the woman, startling me.

  “I agree,” I said. “So, you wanna get it?”

  “I do, but I haven’t been paid yet,” said Tessa.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’ll pay for it.”

  “Eh? You sure?” said Tessa, her eyes bright.

  “Yeah, why not?” I said. I’m young. Savings are for smart, boring people.

  “Your boyfriend sure is nice,” said the woman. “I can ring you up.”

  “We’re not…” I looked back, but Tessa had already gone to change out of her skirt.

  She walked out, holding the shopping bag close to her chest. She thanked me repeatedly, making me blush every time. If this keeps up, I would end up buying her a whole outfit.

  “I’m getting a little hungry,” she said.

  “Any place in particular you’d like to go?”

  “In that case,” she said, tapping her index finger on her lips, “can we go to a family restaurant?”

  That was an odd request, but I complied. I took us to a restaurant that mostly served pasta, pizza, and salad. Inside, its servers swerved around tables to attend to the myriad customers. What did I need to do to get this many people inside the Twisted Cauldron? Maybe if I lowered the price of our drinks to better compete with that chain, we could… No. It wasn’t the time to think about those things.

  The hostess sat us in a two-person booth located in the heart of the restaurant.

  “This is so exciting,” said Tessa. Her eyes carefully scanned the two-sided menu. “How does this work?”

  “You’ve never been to a sit-down restaurant before?” I said.

  “Witches have taverns,” said Tessa. “Different experience.”

  “Our waiter will come and take our drink orders. After they bring our drinks they’ll take our food order. That’s it… I think.”

  The waiter came over with a small notepad in hand.

  “Any drinks I can start you off with tonight?” he said.

  “Yes,” said Tessa. “I’d like this beer here, please.” She pointed to a draft beer. Does she realize that he might ask for her ID? Does she even have one?

  “Could I see your ID, please?” said the waiter.

  “Of course,” said Tessa. She reached into her skirt pocket and handed the man a Twisted Cauldron business card. The main read it for a few seconds, then returned it to her. No further questions asked.

  “And you, sir?”

  “Uh… I’ll have the same thing,” I said, showing him my driver’s license.

  “I’ll have those right out for you,” he said.

  As soon as he stepped away from the table, I leaned over.

  “You showed him our business card?”

  “I might’ve used magic to make it look like your ID… only with the name and picture changed.”

  “And only he could see it? That’s pretty cool,” I said. No harm, no foul. Tessa was 21 years of age, after all. I feel less thrilled about her using her magic that brazenly, but who am I to judge?

  “Do witches have specializations? Or can everyone do every kind of magic?” I said, sipping on the beer. It had a mild aftertaste, but the drink itself was delicious. Tessa seemed to think the same, for half her glass was empty by the time the waiter took our orders.

  “Every witch can do basic magic like I did earlier, but to get to the really powerful stuff you need to specialize. Let’s see,” she said, counting off her fingers. “There’s war witches that use their powers for defense.”

  “Like fire and explosions?” I said.

  “Yeah. Then there’s witches that can control the weather, witches that can control the soil and rocks, witches that can manipulate the atomic structures of certain things, witches that can control hundreds of items at once, witches that can fly. The list goes on,” she said.

  “And what’s your specialization? Or what do you plan on specializing?”

  “I don’t… I mean, It’s not that I wouldn’t… Ahh, how should I put it?”

  “It’s OK,” I said. “Do witches roam outside the witch colony? Like, are they part of everyday life?”

  “To my knowledge, no,” she said. “Witches keep to themselves.”

  I thought about asking her why, but seeing her somber face made me reconsider.

  “And what about you, Raul? What are your future ambitions?” said Tessa.

  “The café is all I have,” I said. “Think up some new ways to make money, fail at those, then try something else. You know how it is.” I forced myself to laugh, but Tessa didn’t take the bait.

  “You don’t seem too happy about that,” she said.

  “I was part of a PhD program a few years ago, but I dropped out. Then my uncle sort of dropped the café on my lap.”

  I didn’t want to think about it any more. I had nothing but painful memories from those days. There’s no way for me to change things now.

  “I can help,” said Tessa.

  “You… what?” I lifted my head. Tessa had a soft smile on her. It wasn’t the intense, world-consuming grin. I managed to hold back my tears by summoning every ounce of strength I had.

  “I’ll help you with your dream. To make the café a better place. To make it a place where everyone can leave with a smile.”

  “Those are some big words coming from a girl who’s only worked there for two days,” I said. “And thanks.”

  The food arrived. Tessa gorged on her shrimp fettuccine. I ate one of those margherita pizzas sprinkled with a zealous amount of greens. It was a lot better than I was expecting., but I know that was due to my company that anything else.

  “That was so good,” said Tessa. Night had overtaken the day. Bright street lamps illuminated the narrow streets, closed off for pedestrians.

  “Glad you enjoyed it,” I said. “Anything else you want to do?”

  “Can we walk around? Just for a little bit.”

  “Of course,” I said. As we made our way down the street, I noticed that Tessa kept close to me. It wasn’t a cold night, which meant… I peeled my eyes away from her gorgeous hair. I tried thinking of something else. Something besides the fact that there was a gorgeous woman so close to me. Or that the brim of her witch hat was half an inch away from my face. It was no use. Her lavender perfume reeled me in. Hook, line, and sinker.

  “Woah,” she said, pointing her finger at the movie theater. “What’s that?”

  The cinema was the largest business in the outdoor mall. Its name was proudly displayed in flashing neon letters, like a Christmas tree obelisk.

  “It’s where we watch movies?” I said.

  “You have a place dedicated just for that?”

  “There’s actually a dozen theaters in there. They have a few movies to choose from, too.”

  “There’s more than one to watch? How often do new ones get released?” she said.

  “There’s new releases every week,” I said.

  “Every week!? You can’t be serious,” said Tessa.

  “Do you want to watch one now?” I said. It was half-past eight. Not terribly late for starting a movie, but I wasn’t too keen on only sleeping five hours.

  “Not tonight,” said Tessa. “I’m tired. But I’d be interested in doing it in the future.”

  The future. That’s right, there was no reason to think that tonight would be the last date I would have with Tessa.

  Wait. This is a date? If so, it wou
ld make it my first in nearly three years. Hopefully next time I don’t have to shell out $129 for a dress.

  We walked aimlessly until 9:30 PM. The streets had cleared somewhat, leaving us to make the walk back alone.

  “I can’t believe there’s so many clothing stores,” said Tessa. “Do we really need so many?”

  “They can’t all offer the same clothes, right?” I said. “There’s so many options because customers crave the different offerings. Plus, you have stuff like fast fashion and… I’m boring you, aren’t I?”

  Tessa laughed.

  “Not at all, Raul. I think it’s cute when you try to be all businessy. Every time you see something, you try to explain it.”

  “Is that weird?” I said.

  “No, it isn’t. The witch colony works a little differently. There’s so much magic around you that it’s hard to know whether something is really happening, or if someone is causing it. When witches are little and they misbehave, the older witches teach them stories about how evil witches curse misbehaving children with nightmares. When you have a bad dream you’re left thinking if there’s someone out there trying to curse you.”

  “That seems like a lot of power in one place,” I said. “You shouldn’t live in fear.”

  “Forgive me,” said Tessa, throwing her hands up. “I didn’t mean to say that witches live in fear of other witches. I only meant that sometimes… the truth is a little harder to understand.”

  The sound of sirens pierced my eardrum. One ambulance whizzed past us, heading in the same direction we were.

  “What was that?” said Tessa. She had gripped my hand, likely without realizing it.

  “It was an ambulance,” I said. “If someone’s sick or hurt, they take them to the hospital.”

  We were near the city center, so hearing an ambulance wasn’t unusual. But I could see why someone who had never seen one in action would be surprised.

  “Why does it have to be so frightening?” said Tessa. We resumed our walk, but she kept her grip on my hand.

  “It’s to alert the other cars. Once they get out of the way, the ambulance can get to where it needs to go faster.”

  “That’s very interesting, actually. Makes me feel like a dolt for not realizing it sooner.”

  “You’re too hard on yourself, Tessa.”