Snatch: Cerberus MC Book 5

by Marie James

  “Yet, you busted in less than two minutes,” he says playfully, not only throwing my words from earlier back at me but reminding me that I came even faster than he did.

  I smile against his lips before we once again become a tangle of arms and tongues.

  With reluctance, we pull away from each other, grab a quick shower and crawl back into bed. I’m so thankful that this is my room and not his. I wouldn’t have known what to do with myself after, but Itchy being Itchy he just crawled in the bed like he owned the damn place.

  “I’ve missed spending time with you,” he confesses fifteen minutes later into the darkness.

  The tiny stream of light filtering through the curtains catches the corner of his eye and the small frown playing on his lips.

  “You’ve been taking women home from bars, fucking everything that walks. Not once have you knocked on my door at the clubhouse. Not once have you indicated you wanted to keep doing this,” I counter.

  He sighs, and I feel the bed move enough to know he’s turned his head and is looking in my direction even though my face is lost in the shadows.

  “Did you have any intention of fucking that woman tonight?”

  I run the events of the evening through my head. “Maybe at first, but the second we stepped outside, I knew no matter how hard I fucked her, I’d be unsatisfied when it was over.”

  Itchy’s hand reaches out, caressing the hairless skin of my chest. It anchors me. “What you did tonight with that woman is the exact same thing I’ve done with every person I’ve left the bar with the last couple of months.”

  My head snaps in his direction, and I curse the lack of light I was so grateful for when we climbed into bed earlier.

  “What?” I hiss.

  “You and Darby are the last people I fucked.”

  I could strangle him and kiss him stupid at the same time.

  “You were purposely trying to make me jealous?”

  He laughs at my words, and I begin to lean more toward strangling. “You were jealous?”

  I pause, knowing a confession of that magnitude has the ability to change the dynamic between us, so I refuse to verbalize what we both already know.

  “I was hurting,” he says when I don’t respond to his question. “I was giving you space and what I thought you wanted.”

  What I wanted?

  I turn my body, angling in his direction. His hand readjusts on my hip.

  “This is what I want.” His sharp intake of breath tells me he’s just as surprised as I am at my words.

  “You said in the hallway that we fuck, that sex is all it was, all it will ever be.” The pain in his voice creates an ache in mine.

  “I was talking about Darby,” I mutter. “I can’t deal with woman drama. You know that.”

  “You can’t deal with relationship drama,” he counters.

  Fuck, that word freaks me out now, but for some reason, it doesn’t cause as much stress as when Darby was asking for something I’d never been able to give before.

  “I wasn’t talking about you,” I insist.

  “You want this? You want an us?”

  Damn it. He’s going to make me actually say it.

  “I like what we have, but I’m nowhere even near ready to tell anyone.”

  “I understand,” he whispers.

  “Is this enough for you?” I need to know the truth and pray he gives it to me straight.

  “I’d rather have you in secret than not at all,” he answers leaning in to take my mouth with such fever that I know we won’t be going to sleep anytime soon.

  Chapter 23

  Itchy

  “Worst fucking day ever,” I grumble as I kick my boots off, shed my jeans, and crawl into the bed.

  “Yep,” Snatch agrees as he strips naked and climbs in with me. “Where’s Ace?”

  I shrug because who really knows where that man is? “He just told me not to wait up, and I got the impression he’s not coming back tonight.”

  Snatch chuckles as his fist punches the pillow to situate it perfectly under his head. We’re in Canada, sent out to find a set of missing, eight-year-old twin boys. We did find them. Unfortunately they’d snuck off in the middle of the night from their camping ground a few nights ago and fell to their death down a ravine.

  “Did you see Shadow? I think today destroyed him.” My words are soft, as they should be, talking about such a tragic outcome.

  “Griff is only like seven months old, but I know he imagined himself in that situation, and it seriously fucked him up.” He turns his body facing me but hasn’t reached out to touch my skin yet. I long for that simple touch, a kind embrace after the horrific day.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of the sound of the father crying when we returned with the bodies of his precious children.” My throat is clogged with emotion, making my voice rough and barely audible. Tears burn the back of my eyes. I’m not much of a crier, but today was more than fucked up.

  “I can’t even imagine,” Snatch agrees. “Fuck, I never want to be a parent. Just the chance of something like that happening is enough to keep me from fatherhood.”

  I nod in agreement. Unable to resist him being so close yet so far away, I run my hand over his shoulder. His tattooed hand covers mine as it settles above his beating heart.

  In silence, we both stare at nothing in particular, running through the events of the day.

  “The weather’s so nice up here this time of year,” Snatch says, breaking the quiet calm that has settled over us. “I really thought we’d find them alive.”

  “I know. Me, too.” I scoot closer to him wanting the warmth of his body against mine.

  Releasing my hand, his arm snakes around my back as he pulls me tighter to his chest. When I’d imagined us being together, my first thoughts were about all of the fantastic sex we’d be having, and believe me there’s plenty of that when we can find time away with each other. I’d never allowed myself to consider that we’d be like this, snuggled against one another, talking like a regular couple. We normally get pretty fucking physical, our opportunities to be with one another so few and far between we tear into one another when the chance presents itself.

  Tonight is different. Sexual electricity isn’t crackling in the air; my cock isn’t twitching against his leg in anticipation. The heaviness of the day is too much of a burden to increase expectations of sexual fulfillment. If I’m being honest, this right here, my arms wrapped around him, his heartbeat echoing in my ear is more than I could ever ask for from him.

  “Speaking of Shadow,” I mention trying to make some of the heartbreak dissipate. “He was watching you like a hawk at the bar the other day.”

  I grin against his jolting chest when he chuckles.

  “When I left with those two women?”

  “Yeah. I kept stealing glances at him, and I could practically see the cogs in his brain turning trying to figure it out. If he’s suspicious then the others have to be wondering what’s going on as well. We may need to tone down the hate in public a little bit.”

  His fingers begin to trail lightly up and down my spine, and it makes me want to rub against him, purr like a cat, and beg for more.

  “You’re the one who told them you wanted separate rooms a few months back when you were pissed at me.” His voice is playful, but it’s the edge of accusation that I focus on. We’ve missed numerous circumstances where we could be together while on missions, but my insistence on not staying in the room with him has carried over and become a pain in the ass rather than the reprieve I’d needed months ago.

  I push off of his chest, so that I’m looking down at him. “I told you I was giving you the space you needed.”

  A small, sad smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “And I told you that what I said to Darby almost six months ago was not meant for you.”

  I could choke him for his stubbornness.

  “Yes. You told me that, but it was after I’d requested separate rooms.”

 
He sighs, his frustration obviously increasing as well.

  I don’t want to fight with him. I’m not interested in arguing points he’s so unwilling to budge on. Every time the conversation steers in this direction we go days without speaking to each other, and we’re both miserable assholes until one of us caves, usually me, and apologizes to the other. The only problem is no matter the number of times we fight about it, the outcome never changes.

  His hand that was still resting against my back even after I sat up to face him falls away. Bringing it to his face, he scrubs over his eyes. Annoyance is evident in his long sigh, and most days I would care. Today is not that day. I hate the time we’re forced to spend apart. I hate the plan we both decided would work best.

  If we continued to pretend like we hated each other, suspicions would be kept low, but it’s so different to how we were before that our staged discord and ambivalence with each other is throwing up more red flags than if we just acted like normal.

  But, there’s an issue with normal also. I catch myself watching him, following his movements with my eyes. I catch myself licking my lips when his muscles flex. I fucking groaned the other day when he bent over in my favorite pair of jeans to grab something out of the fridge. Snake was around when that slip up happened. So wrapped up in the sight of his ass, I wasn’t able to play off my reaction very well.

  I know if we go back to old hat, hanging out, fucking every chick who makes our cocks twitch, there will be no way for me to keep my hands off of him. My blood burns hotter just when he’s in the room, making me feel like a teenage boy, not with sexual need and urges, but need for him alone. Never feeling like this about someone before is brand new, and I’m like an idiot who can’t get enough, damn the consequences.

  “Are we going to do this again?” His eyes dart between mine, asking, begging not to say a word. He hasn’t pushed me away and climbed out of bed, which is a normal reaction, so I guess we’re making progress.

  “They won’t care,” I cajole, fingers tracing over the numerous tattoos on his abdomen.

  His head tilts back, resting against the pillow. To anyone else, it would look relaxed albeit slightly annoyed, but the twitching muscle in his jaw and the tension in his corded neck muscles are enough to make me pull my hand from his skin.

  “I care,” he says finally. “I’m not ready to tell anyone.”

  Shit. I’m fucking this up. I hate that I push him, but I can’t seem to help myself.

  “Will you ever be ready?” I ask even though I know what’s coming. I hope my insistence doesn’t change what we have.

  His eyes only find mine for the briefest of seconds before he stares off into the room, looking at nothing but unable to continue looking at me.

  “I don’t know,” he mutters.

  I nod, grateful for his honesty, happy that he’s not placating me like some dirty little secret he wants to stay attached to so he lies to keep me by his side.

  What we have is enough for now, but I don’t know how long that will last for me. I’m terrified at the other guys finding out, fearful they will be unaccepting of what we have, but not so much that I want to sneak around, living in secret for all of eternity.

  “Fair enough,” I say, shooting for satisfied but falling short.

  His eyes finally find mine, searching, trying to determine if I’m telling him the truth after his candor. He must find what he’s looking for because he reaches for me, no words spoken, and pulls me back against his chest. I soak him in, take everything he’s offering because I have no idea how much longer it will last.

  Chapter 24

  Snatch

  My eyes jerk wide open when a shuffle at the end of the bed pulls me from a dead sleep. Getting lost in our time together is dangerous, but it’s like my training and years of experience fly out the window when we’re touching.

  I track a stumbling Ace as he, for the second time, bumps into the end of the bed Itchy and I shared last night. He grumbles and curses, but his head never looks over at us, concentrating too hard on getting his clearly drunk ass into the restroom.

  I groan as Itchy’s sleepy hand trails down my abs and settles low on my stomach, the bottom of his palm resting against the tip of my rock hard cock. My dick has no fucks to give that someone who could blow this entire situation out of the water is nearby. It jerks with need and glistens for any attention, even in sleep, that Itchy’s willing to give.

  In a moment of surprising sanity, I grip his wrist and move it off of my body.

  He grumbles, eyes peeking up at me, barely visible in the darkness when I begin to climb off of the bed.

  “Don’t leave me,” he whispers.

  My heart clenches, pulse pounding in my ears at his vulnerability. I want nothing more than to stay here with him, but I know it’s not an option.

  “Ace is in the shower,” I warn against his mouth planting a quick kiss on his soft lips.

  “You didn’t fuck me,” he practically whines stubbornly refusing to kiss me back.

  “Just know that my cock is hard for you, always,” I tell him.

  Only then does he smile against my mouth and return my kiss.

  I pull away, dress in record time, and head to the door when I hear his quiet voice again. “Back to hating the love of my life again.”

  Sadness washes over me, my heart breaking with every step I take away from his bed. All I want to do is wallow in self-pity and catch a little more sleep. Laying down and turning the world off is about the only thing that’s going to keep me from saying fuck it and crawling back in bed with Itchy. I missed the brush of his warm skin against mine the second I pulled away, but it’s the pain in his voice when I walked away that is pulling me to him the most.

  “Hey,” Kid mutters as I open the door to the small cabin we were assigned when we arrived in Canada.

  I look to his right, out the window which gives him a clear damn view of the front door of Itchy’s cabin.

  “You guys must be getting along better,” he says on a yawn scrubbing his hands down his face.

  My quickening pulse pounds in my ears and a million scenarios and lies are already formulating on the tip of my tongue.

  “What?” Simple enough right? Move along Kid, nothing to see here.

  He angles his head at the window. “You must be getting along if you’re banging chicks together again.”

  My eyes narrow at him, wondering if he’s setting me up. He’s not really the type, but stranger things have happened recently.

  “Two actually,” I lie with what I hope appears to be a mischievous glint in my eye.

  He huffs a humorless laugh while shaking his head. “One of these days you’ll find the one chick who turns your world upside down, and you won’t even notice all the others around you.”

  It’s my turn to laugh. “Sorry, Kid. I know you love Khloe and plan to spend the rest of your life with her, but there’s not a woman in the world that would make me want to forsake all others.”

  With deliberate slowness I see his eyes look out the window one last time before turning back to me. “Yeah. I guess there’s not a woman out there tempting enough to make you change your ways.”

  I’m granted a reprieve when he stands from the end of the bed and heads into the bathroom. Statue-like and unable to formulate an active thought, I stand in the middle of the room, eyes darting from the bathroom door to the window. If Kid doesn’t know what’s going on, he is making very educated guesses.

  “The fuck?” he mutters pulling my attention from wherever my mind retreated.

  I look over, finding him running a towel through his damn hair. He’s shirtless but in jeans and socks.

  “Have you been standing there the entire time I showered?” His lip twitches up, but he glances out of the window again. I know it’s coming. No matter how unprepared I am, no matter how undecided I am to confess or lie, my world is going to come crashing down.

  “No?” I answer it as a question because I’m not certain where my head
was at or how long I’ve been standing here.

  “Sure looks like,” he persists as he sits on the edge of his bed to pull on his boots. “Want to talk about whatever is bothering you?”

  “I’m fine, dude. Nothing to talk about.” I busy myself grabbing a change of clean clothes out of my duffel bag. Keeping my back to him will make it easier to tell my truths no matter how bad I want to keep my secrets locked away from the world.

  And I wait and wait. The silence drags on so long, I’m forced to turn around and look at him. Expecting to find a smirk on his lips as if I’ve fallen into his traps and he needs to gloat about it, I’m surprised to see him smiling and looking down at his phone, no doubt already texting Khloe this morning.

  I take the opportunity his distraction provides and high-tail it to the bathroom for a quick shower. I ignore the ache in my balls I always get when I’m around Itchy and try to forget that we held each other all night, opting for closeness and comfort instead of orgasms and carnal bliss.

  Still, I take my time, avoiding Kid and vowing to stay as far away from him as possible. My chest hurts by the time I turn off the water and climb out. I know Itchy and I have to double our efforts at being less suspicious. The entire time while showering I was going through the many interactions we’ve had, all the times we’ve been within arm’s reach of each other and I can’t pinpoint one single moment where either of us would’ve acted in a way that would make anyone suspect a sexual relationship other than one in which we fuck a woman together. Everyone in the clubhouse knows we do that, but as far as everyone else is concerned, we should just seem like two dudes who like to have three-ways.

  I run the soft towel over my body, wiping away water droplets from my heavily inked skin before throwing on my clothes and leaving the bathroom.

  “What time are we leaving?” I ask Kid as I pull socks from my duffel and sit down to get my boots on.

  He takes his eyes off of his phone for the briefest of seconds before he returns his attention back to the small device he can’t seem to go but a couple of minutes without looking at.

  “We have to go back to the station and show them the location of the meth house we found yesterday while looking for the boys. I think after that we’re heading out,” he finally says after laughing at something on his phone.