beyond the grave 03 - a ghostly demise

by Kappes, Tonya

  One of Granny’s young busboys from the community came in and told her a customer was asking for her.

  “I can’t go out there. I’ve got to get these pies done.” She glanced at me. “Emma Lee, dear, go see who’s out there.”

  “Fine.” I sighed and dried my hands and followed the kid out to the dining room.

  Every table in the place was filled. The entire back wall of the room was ceiling-to-floor glass windows and had an amazing view of the mountainous backdrop and the caves. It was truly spectacular.

  “Over there,” the boy said.

  I followed down his arm and across his pointed finger to a table in the far corner. Leotta Hardy and a man. Someone I didn’t recognize. It wasn’t Terk Rhinehammer. I thanked the boy and made my way over to Leotta’s table.

  “Hi, Leotta.” I put my hand on the back of her chair and faced the bald man. “Twice in one day. It’s so good you are getting out and about.”

  “I had to pull her teeth to get her here.” The voice was familiar but the face wasn’t.

  “I’m Emma Lee Raines.” I put my hand out. “My Granny owns the Inn.”

  He jumped up and grabbed me, twirling me around like we were long-lost buddies.

  “Hell, Emma Lee. I know it’s been awhile, but damn. It’s me, Teddy.” He sat me down and backed up to look at me.

  Teddy had turned out to be a big boy. He stood about six-foot-four and weighed a good 250. His neck was as big around as an eighteen-wheeler tire.

  “It’s my boy!” Cephus appeared in the seat next to Leotta. His arm curled around the back of her chair like they were on a date.

  “Gosh, Teddy.” My eyes grew. “I didn’t recognize you. You have . . .”

  “Gotten big!” Cephus’s voice escalated. “I never thought that boy was ever gonna grow.”

  Teddy did a muscle pose with his arms before he did the whole bouncing pectoral move with his boobs. “I’m a wrestling champ. International.”

  It was hard for me not to stare at each boob taking its turn bouncing up and down.

  “Oh.” My brows lifted along with my mouth. “Impressive. I’m just the undertaker now. How long are you in town for?”

  “I’m here for the carnival.” He put his hand on Leotta. “Plus I haven’t been able to get home to visit with Momma. And I guess I need to see that sister of mine.” He ran his hand over his bald head. “Not for a haircut either.”

  Leotta’s thin lips got thinner as they stretched upward.

  “I bet you wished your daddy was here to see you.” The words jumped out of my mouth before I could take them back. Teddy’s brows pushed together, creasing the skin between them. “I’m so sorry.” I put my hands in front of me. “I’ll go get Granny. It sure was nice seeing you Teddy. Bye, Leotta.”

  “Why you rushing off?” Cephus kept pace with me as I made my way back to the kitchen. “Tell them I’m dead. Tell them I didn’t up and leave them. Tell them that Vernon Baxter murdered me.”

  I ducked into the bathroom; Cephus followed.

  “Whhhhhaat?” My heart fell to my feet.

  “You heard me. Vernon Baxter killed me.” Cephus stood ramrod straight and was serious as a bear on a hunt for food.

  “How do you know Vernon Baxter killed you?” I asked in a hushed whisper. Vernon Baxter of all men would be the last suspect on my list. “I’ve known Vernon for a while now. He wouldn’t hurt a flea.”

  “He did.” Cephus’s jaw jutted out. Face was serious, hair still kinky curly. He tugged on his polyester taupe pants that ended at the laces perfectly tied on his white, patent-leather shoes. “He was trying to hit on my Leotta. The last thing I remember, I went over to his house. He was out in the garden when I confronted him. He denied it, but I knew he was lying. Leotta had confessed. Straight up told me to my face that she and Vernon had almost knocked boots.”

  “Knocked boots?” I asked.

  “You know.” Cephus put his hands out in front of him and gyrated his hips back and forth. “Ump momma, ump momma.”

  My nose curled and I got all sorts of eww and images I didn’t want to have.

  “His telephone rang and he went inside the house to get it. Next thing I know . . .” He snapped his fingers and did a little tap dance, ending with his hands and arms in a ta-da. “Here I am. Dead.”

  “Not only Terk Rhinehammer was after Leotta, but Vernon Baxter too?” I asked, making sure I had it straight in my head.

  “Yeppers.” He shook his head back and forth, not a curl or hair moved.

  “I’ll put him on the list.” I took my phone out of my pocket and made a note along with the others. The list was getting long and Cephus was on my nerves. I had to get him to the other side before he really did drive me crazy, over the edge, to my breaking point.

  “What about that cold Stroh’s?” he asked.

  “We’ll see.” I opened the bathroom door just as Granny jumped out of the way.

  “Who were you talking to?” There was a pensive shimmer of shadow in Granny’s eyes.

  “Jack Henry.” I put my phone back in my pocket. “We have dinner plans after I’m done here.”

  “Hmm.” Granny was smarter than your average bear. It was almost impossible to get anything by her. “Well, tomorrow night before the carnival, there is going to be a meet-the-candidate cookout for me. The girls”—by girls she meant Auxiliary—“are giving it. I expect you and Charlotte Rae to be there.”

  “I will be, but I can’t promise Charlotte will stick around after work,” I warned.

  “She better and you tell her I said so,” Granny warned before she went out to greet Leotta and Teddy. She turned back around. “Who is that with Leotta?”

  “He’s my boy and he’s a wrastler.” Cephus put his hand out to “tap out.” I rolled my eyes.

  “That’s little Teddy.” I tilted my head around the corner of the door to get another look. “Can you believe he’s not so little anymore? He is some sort of big-time wrastler.”

  “Wrastler? What’s that?” Granny asked.

  “Wrestler. Big-time wrestler.” I gave her a gentle nudge. “You go find out while I finish up the dishes. You are good at getting the gossip. Plus, Bea Allen isn’t around to try to talk Leotta into voting for O’Dell. Don’t forget to ask about Terk. Or Cephus. Go.”

  The little encouragement about the election was all Granny needed to find out everything I needed to know about Teddy. I wanted to know what they really thought about Cephus’s being gone for five years.

  It was another half hour before Granny made it back to the kitchen and I finished up the dishes. The Inn’s guests were finished dining and ready for their pie, scoop of ice cream, and a refill on their sweet tea or a hot cup of coffee.

  “You wouldn’t believe the name Teddy has made for himself.” Granny took the sharp knife to cut nice and cute every single pie piece perfectly even. “He’s a star. Biggest star out of Sleepy Hollow. He’s tough as nails and just as sharp.”

  Granny jumped around, doing some sort of karate move.

  “Is that right?” Sarcasm dripped out my mouth. “That was karate. Not wrestling,” I pointed out about her move.

  Somehow, I doubted Teddy was a star or even smart. At least I hadn’t seen him in any of the gossip magazines in the magazine aisle at Artie’s nor heard anything about him from Mary Anna until earlier today. Though I dare not tell Granny that. I was in no mood to hear an argument. I had to get to the grocery and get some dinner for me and Jack Henry. Time was ticking.

  “Don’t believe me?” Granny pointed the knife at me. “I bet you get on that fancy phone of yours and check it out.”

  “What did he say?” I thought I would appease her for a minute before I got to the good stuff about Terk and Cephus.

  “He said that after he graduated, right after Cephus left, he went to Cincinnati, where they do the majority of minor-league wrestling.” Granny continued to tell the tale and cut the pies. I followed along, putting a slice on each plate along with
a scoop of ice cream. “He said this big manager took to him like a daddy.”

  “A daddy?” Cephus cried out from behind me. “Teddy has got a daddy. Me!”

  I jumped, sending a glob of ice cream soaring through the air.

  “What is wrong with you?” Granny growled.

  “I’m in a hurry.” I nodded up to her clock. “I have a dinner date with Jack Henry and I need to get something to fix.”

  “Don’t you worry. I’ve got something you can take.” Granny began her tale again. “Anyway . . .” She paused to remember where she left off.

  “Like a daddy,” I reminded her.

  “Daddy my ass.” Cephus wrung his hands again. “I’m gonna need that ice-cold Stroh’s to keep up with this, Emma Lee. Soon.”

  I took a deep breath, trying to listen to Granny and tune out Cephus. I was going to need that ice-cold Stroh’s to keep my sanity.

  “Right, like a daddy. The guy taught him how to do all the right wrestling moves and took him clear out to Calee-fornia.” Granny’s accent was good at destroying many words. California was one of them. “Then he got himself an agent and now he’s wrestling all over. Next month he’s going to make his big debut at that WWE on TV.”

  “Is that right?” I asked.

  “Pay per view.” Granny finished with the last piece of pie and walked over to the freezer. She took something out, put it in an Artie’s plastic bag, and put it on the table. “Dinner for you and Jack Henry. All you have to do is nuke it.”

  “Great.” I kissed Granny on the cheek and grabbed the bag. “Wait,” I stopped at the door. “What did they say about Cephus and Terk?”

  “Teddy fidgeted when I asked Leotta about Terk. He didn’t like it at all.” Granny took in a deep breath. “Leotta said that she and Terk were just friends and he let her use his car when she needed to.”

  “That’s my boy.” Cephus perked up a little bit.

  “Did she say anything about Bea Allen?”

  “Emma Lee, I swear. You are getting worse than Beulah Paige. Where are you coming up with all this nonsense?” Granny spat. “Right here at election time too.”

  “I won’t tell if you don’t.” I winked.

  Granny laughed.

  In the South, a wink speaks louder than words.

  Chapter 9

  I had barely gotten home and changed my clothes when Jack Henry came knocking at my door.

  If I hadn’t taken the long way around the square, I would have made it home ten minutes earlier and gotten the food in the microwave. I didn’t want to risk seeing Digger Spears. The way I figured it, Digger would see me and Jack Henry at the carnival and drop the subject of grabbing a beer.

  The ten-minute walk did give me time to assess and reassess the list of notes I had taken on my phone. The suspects I thought could have killed Cephus and the suspects he thought had killed him. I kept turning the facts and little snippets of information I had collected from not only myself and Cephus, but from Granny, Mary Anna and Bea Allen. The pieces weren’t fitting together like a good little murder mystery. My problem was that it was too early in the investigation game and I was too exhausted to try to figure any more of it out.

  “Hey, babe.” Jack Henry’s slow, Southern drawl made my toes curl, tickling my heart. “I’ve been wrestling goats all afternoon. I’m starving.”

  “Good. Me too.” I opened the door and took his hat. “How were the goats? Was it baaaaad?”

  “Nice impression.” Jack Henry bent down and kissed the tip of my nose. “Sanford Brumfield swears someone is letting them out. I even looked at the fence and the gate. Those are some talented goats to be able to get out of those pens.”

  “Was Dottie Kramer beside herself?” I asked.

  Dottie had always lived a life of solitude. She would come into town on Farmer’s Market Day, sell her veggies and go back home. She did come to funerals to pay her respect and she was seated in the front row of the Baptist church every Sunday, but other than that, she was pretty much a hermit.

  “She was. She said they had ruined her berries and in turn cost her money. Sanford plucked a few hundred from his money clip and handed it to her. He said he’d make good by her. I warned him that if they got out again, he’d face a fine. He assured me they wouldn’t get out.” Jack Henry smiled. His dimples deepened.

  Jack Henry Ross was one of those guys who got better-looking over time. Every time I saw him, my heart did flip-flops in my chest. I ran my hands through his brown, high-and-tight cop cut and stared deep into his big brown eyes before I gave him a kiss.

  “So”—he stepped in and followed me down my little hall into the small family room—“let’s get this over with.”

  “What?” I shrugged and held up a finger. “I’ll be right back. I want to check on dinner.”

  Charlotte Rae and I had turned the family residence into another viewing room when we took over Eternal Slumber, leaving a little one-bedroom apartment in the rear. It was plenty enough space for me and my needs. There was a bedroom, kitchenette, bathroom, and small television room. I left Jack Henry in front of the TV.

  I flipped the light on in the kitchenette and pulled the dinners out of the plastic grocery bag.

  “LEAN MEAL?” I read the label of the frozen TV dinner Granny had stuck in the plastic grocery bag.

  I knocked on the hard cardboard box with a picture of a flat piece of chicken smothered in some sort of white sauce and pieces of chopped-up asparagus. “Lean Meals?” I asked again, and took out the other Lean Meal Granny thought was good enough for my romantic dinner with Jack Henry.

  “How’s dinner coming?” Jack Henry walked in and put his arms around my waist. He took a deep inhale before he snuggled in my neck. “Your hair smells like cigarette smoke.”

  He pulled back. His eyes slid around me and focused on the microwave meals.

  “Emma Lee? What is going on?” Jack Henry’s eyes hooded like they did when he was on a case. I zipped the cardboard zipper off the side of one of the boxes. “Have you been working on this whole Cephus Hardy notion all day long?”

  I ripped the plastic cover off the Lean Meal.

  “I’m telling you, Cephus Hardy is dead.” I bent down and took a good long whiff of the contents, which were supposed to be chicken. “You and I both know what it means when a ghost comes to visit me. The visits aren’t friendly ‘hey missing you from Great Beyond’ chitchats. Or the big guy from the sky sends his love.”

  “What is that?” He reached over and flicked the layer of ice that had formed over the top the Lean Meal.

  “That’s . . .” I bit my lip, “protective covering for the meal. It keeps it good.”

  “Protective covering? Is that what people are calling freezer burn nowadays?” He chuckled. “I’m not eating that.”

  “Oh, Jack Henry,” I whined. “I really did want to make you a nice meal. I had all the intentions in the world. I had gone to Artie’s and that’s when Cephus showed up. Nosy Doc Clyde happened to be walking down the magazine aisle and saw me talking to myself, when I was really talking to Cephus.”

  Jack Henry’s jaw and facial features softened. He didn’t seem impressed. He knew I was pretty good at disguising my conversations with ghosts. Not this time.

  “I thought Cephus had come home.” I shrugged. “Of course, I had to get out of there once I realized Cephus was not there in the flesh. And that’s when I ran smack-dab into Beulah Paige, who went around telling everyone I had a relapse of the Funeral Trauma, sending Granny into a fit.”

  “All I said was that I wasn’t eating that.” He smiled, pointed to the Lean Meal, then gathered me in his arms. “How about we go grab a bite somewhere?”

  “Really?” Relief settled in my gut.

  “And maybe we can talk about what you found out today.” Jack Henry ran his hand down my arm and took me by the hand, leading me out of the kitchen. “Maybe a beer would do us good.”

  “Great.” I tried to keep a steady face when Cephus appeared right
next to Jack Henry.

  It was hard not to laugh at Cephus’s outfit compared to Jack Henry’s.

  “Beer?” Cephus danced. He tapped his forehead. “Tonight is wing night at the Watering Hole. You could go there.”

  I bit my lip and grabbed my purse. I felt my back pocket to make sure I had my cell.

  “You can ask questions there. All the guys know me pretty well.” Cephus made a compelling argument. “Ask them about Terk, Vernon and Leotta. Dom, dom, dom.” He made some good sound effects. “The murder plot thickens even though I know it was Vernon.”

  “Tonight is wing night at the Watering Hole.” Vernon Baxter was far from a killer and I was going to prove that to Cephus once and for all.

  “The Watering Hole?” Jack Henry held the door open for me, but not without trying to get his eyes on my face, assessing me like he did a criminal.

  I swallowed. “Uh-huh.” I didn’t make eye contact when I walked past him.

  “Oh-kay. The Watering Hole it is.” There was no argument from him. I was sure he knew he probably wouldn’t win anyway. “Since we are going that way, why don’t we just keep going and head to Bella Vino Ristorante?”

  “Tempting. But I’m not feeling like the forty-minute drive,” I lied. Driving to Lexington, the closest large town near Sleepy Hollow, was really an enjoyable ride of scenic country roads and beautiful foliage. “And the wait would be long since we don’t have a reservation.”

  Bella Vino was my favorite restaurant. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the Watering Hole, where I needed to get answers so I could help Cephus and get my life back.

  “Fine.” Jack Henry tapped the wheel of the cop car. It was funny how each of us had a company car as our only car. “How did you get the smoke-filled hair?”

  “I went to see Terk Rhinehammer.” I wasn’t sure how much detail I wanted to give him. Like I said, the puzzle pieces of the information I had gathered, or lack thereof, weren’t fitting together. I needed more time. “When I went to Higher Grounds this morning, Leotta Hardy was in there and she was driving Terk’s car. Since Cephus showed, out of the blue . . .” I glanced to the backseat. Cephus wasn’t there. “ . . . and Leotta still believes Cephus is living somewhere else, I just thought I would pop by and see what I could find out.”