Freedom to Love

by Ronica Black

  “I don’t know what to do,” Brynn said. “Bea’s a mess.”

  “Come here.”

  “We can’t. You know that.” She wasn’t surprised that Holly had asked. Holly was a good friend but a bit clingy, even after their dating had ended. She still wanted something more and she made it more than obvious. It probably hadn’t been a good idea to go to her for help, but Brynn hadn’t had much of a choice.

  “I’ll call soon,” Brynn said and ended the call as Holly was replying, asking her again to come home. She climbed down the rocks and whistled for Gunner, who followed happily. They walked the near hour back to the cabin and saw no one and no recent tire prints. Brynn relaxed a little and stopped at the creek where she stripped and waded in, the cold water taking her breath. She walked to just above her knees and splashed the water up on her arms, shoulders, and face. Then she sat, bent back, and dunked her head. When she came up, she shouted from the cold running down her back and opened her eyes to Gunner barking, crossing the creek himself. She watched him climb out and run playfully. Then, as if a switch had been flipped, he stopped, ears pointed, and barked back across the creek. Quickly, she stood and looked around, hurrying from the water.

  “What is it? Who’s there?”

  Someone stepped out from behind a tree, and Brynn screamed and knelt for a heavy rock. She charged and was about to throw it when the figure stepped out of the shade and into the sunlight.

  Vander held up her hand, her other arm in a sling. She was thinner and pale but with red coloring her high cheekbones. Brynn stared her down, rock in hand, chest heaving with panic.

  She looked around and felt like prey surrounded by predators. “You alone?” Brynn asked.

  Vander nodded and shifted her gaze after sweeping up and down Brynn’s nude body.

  Brynn dropped the rock and pointed a finger at her.

  “You scared the absolute shit out of me.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know how else to approach.” She continued to look away. She had a backpack slung over her good shoulder, and she was dressed in cargo shorts, a light T-shirt, and hiking boots. By the look of the dirt caking her socks, it looked like she’d been walking awhile.

  Brynn honed in on a stain, a dark red plume above her sling near her shoulder.

  “You’re bleeding.”

  Vander shifted and gave her a quick glance. “I know.”

  “Bullet wound?” Brynn turned and found her clothes, then scrambled to pull them on over her wet skin. She could feel her own face reddening from the exposure, and Vander’s reaction hadn’t helped. Why was she so afraid to look anywhere near her?

  “Yes. I think I need to change the dressing.”

  From across the creek, Gunner barked and rushed into the water, swimming across and scrambling for footing in the mud. He rushed Vander and jumped on her, nearly knocking her down.

  Vander laughed, stumbling backward. “Whoa, boy.” She knelt and showered him with as much affection as she could with one hand. Gunner returned the love, licking her face and neck, whining with excitement. Vander continued laughing, now kissing him on his snout and hugging his neck. “I can’t believe how much I’ve missed this guy,” she said.

  Brynn tugged on her shirt, very much aware that the cotton material was sticking to her breasts. She plucked it a few times trying to get some air in there, but it was no use. Instead she ran fingers through her wet hair. “He’s been great. A really good dog.” She wiped her hands on her pants and Vander stood, looking weak. She leaned on a walking stick.

  “Are you okay?” Brynn asked. “You don’t look so good.”

  Vander wiped her brow with a bandana, then slipped it back into her pocket. “Thanks for taking care of him,” she said, a little short of breath. She took a few steps and then looked like she was going to go down. Brynn rushed to her side, steadying her.

  “You’re far from okay.” She turned her and led her toward the cabin. This Vander was far from the one she’d always seen around town. The Vander she was used to was tall, strong, confident, and walked like she could kick some serious ass. The cop walk. This Vander was pale, trembling, and about to pass out. “You shouldn’t be up here,” Brynn said. “Especially not on your own.”

  “Yeah, well, my friends wouldn’t exactly want to approach you in a friendly manner.”

  Brynn led her up the steps and the old boards creaked. “Probably not,” she said. “They think we’re involved don’t they? With those guys that shot at you.”

  “They have questions, yes.”

  Brynn opened the screen door and they entered quietly. She eased Vander onto the couch and then went to the kitchen and dug in the cooler for a bottled water. She twisted it open and gave it to Vander who thanked her and drank heartily. She set the bottle down and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

  “I didn’t realize how thirsty I was.” But she still trembled, and despite trying to smile and hide her shaking hand, Brynn saw.

  “One of two things need to happen here. One, you take off your gear, lie back, and let me help, or two, we get to your car and I drive you back to town and get you some help. For number two to happen you need to promise me some sort of protection. I don’t want to go back to prison.”

  “I can’t promise you anything. You know that.”

  “So I have to hide forever?”

  Vander shook her head. “Just come in and talk. I’ve told them my side. Told them you saved me. The rest…be honest. Tell them what happened.” She paused and eased the pack off her shoulder with a wince. “Bea isn’t involved is she? With those guys?”

  Brynn felt anger rise. “No, of course not. She was just picking me up from prison. I mean I literally had just been released. Your high-speed chase got in our way. And when I saw what was happening, what was I supposed to do? Turn around and drive off? Leave you for dead?”

  Vander licked dry lips. “Most are surprised you didn’t.”

  “Yeah, well, most don’t know shit about me and who I really am. They just hear I’m a Williams and assume the worst.”

  Vander looked around, and Brynn could see her eyes growing heavy. “Bea?”

  Brynn motioned toward the bedroom. “Asleep.”

  “She okay with coming in if I bring you in?”

  Brynn was honest. “I doubt it.”

  “Will you?”

  Brynn sighed and paced the floor. Their hiding spot was useless now. Vander would tell; she would have to. Bea…she didn’t know what to do about Bea. But as far as herself, she was tired of running. Tired of looking over her shoulder. This was not freedom. And freedom, pure freedom, was what she wanted most.

  “Promise me something and I will,” Brynn said.

  Vander stared deep into her eyes. “If I can.”

  “Let me drive. And let me get you some help.”

  Vander laughed a little. “That’s it? You’re worried about me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why, Williams? I’m just a cop. The one who put you away.”

  Brynn stared at her in disbelief, surprised at her words. “I—I care. I saved your ass didn’t I? Why would I let you die now?”

  “Oh, so it’s pride.” She grinned and Brynn felt her heart jerk with a start. Then it fluttered.

  “Maybe.”

  “In that case, yes, I promise. You can drive and you can get me some help. And…a little advice from me to you. Ask for an attorney.”

  “Oh, I plan on it.”

  Vander gave a nod. “Good.”

  She struggled to stand and Brynn helped. From the bedroom they heard a long groan as if someone was waking and stretching. Brynn tried to cut Bea off at the doorway, but it was too late. She was standing there, eyes wide, staring at Vander.

  “What the fuck?” She looked around wildly, then hurried to the window to peek outside. “Where are they? Are we surrounded?”

  “Bea.” Brynn tried to grab her, but she pulled away, hurrying back to the bedroom to slip on her jeans and step into he
r shoes. “Bea, we’re fine. We’re safe. It’s just her.”

  “Just her my ass. They’re out there. I can smell them.” She didn’t bother to tie her laces.

  Vander spoke, and her tone surprised Brynn, though she’d heard it many times before while in town and when she and Bea had first been pulled over four years ago.

  “Williams, sit down. We need to talk.”

  Bea froze, pushed her shoulders back, and turned to look at Vander.

  “You expect me to listen to you? Cop?”

  “I do and you will. If you want information that is.”

  Bea, head held high, scoffed but walked to the chair and sat down. Vander sat as well. Brynn watched, nerves on edge.

  “I came alone,” Vander said. “I had a hunch about this cabin. Had heard the story about Jasper being your true grandfather. I told no one. I knew you would run or there would be a standoff if my colleagues came. And that would most likely get you in more trouble and I know you didn’t want it. Especially since you were kind enough to see to Gunner. I figured you wanted peace, wanted this whole thing over. That’s why I’m here.”

  “It’s about time,” Bea said. “Fucking hell, do you know what we’ve been through in trying to hide? The whole county wants our heads on a platter.”

  Vander held up her hand. “I’ve been shot. Five times. One hit my shoulder. I nearly died from blood loss. My partner…he’s critical. We don’t know if he’s going to wake up, and if he does, who he’s going to be.” Her voice faltered as she spoke of him. “He’s…he just lies there, machine breathing for him, machines beeping around him.” She paused and swallowed. “He was hit in the shoulder, arm, and head. It’s a miracle he’s alive.”

  Bea started to speak, but Brynn gave her shoulder a squeeze to stop her.

  “Thanks to you we’re alive.” She closed her eyes. “I’m alive. And I want to bring you in, tell them the truth once again. That you came upon the scene in innocence and protected my partner and me at your own behest. Because you knew it was the right thing to do.”

  “Whole lot a good that did us,” Bea said.

  “I suppose you think now that our lives weren’t worth the trouble?”

  Bea mumbled something and Brynn smacked her arm.

  “Well, like it or not you need to come with me back into town and give a statement. I’ve already told your sister that I’ll do what I can and stand in your corner. But I’ve also advised her to get a lawyer. I can only protect you so much, and I can’t bend or change the law.”

  Bea stood, hands in fists. “Forget it then. If all we get is your half-assed attempt at a good word for us, then fuck that. I’ll take my chances on my own.”

  “Bea, don’t,” Brynn said. “Don’t do this.”

  “No, Brynn. Fuck her. We save her life and this is what we get?”

  “She’s offering us her very best. She came to get us on her own, to make it better for us. Can’t you see how she’s helping?”

  Bea stared Vander down. “And if her partner dies, or ends up with a brain like a marshmallow…then what? What will she do then? Who will save us?”

  Vander took a step forward, anger marking her cheeks and neck. “Don’t talk about Damien that way.”

  Bea stared back. “Or what? You gonna beat me with one arm?”

  Vander took another step. “I’ll take you down and arrest you with one arm.”

  Bea laughed. “Bullshit. You’re about to keel over.” She headed for the bedroom and again yanked her arm away from Brynn who tried to stop her.

  “Bea, don’t.”

  “You can go in with her,” Bea said. “But there ain’t no way I’m trusting her or them.”

  Brynn gave Vander a pleading look. “Can’t you do something, say something?”

  Vander closed her eyes. “I’ve said all I can. I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep.”

  Brynn cursed and went to the bedroom. Bea was shoving her things into her duffel.

  “I’m going. Gonna take the car. Try to give me as much of a head start as you can.”

  “Bea, please don’t.”

  “I don’t have a choice, Brynn. They’ll lock me up. This time for years. You know my rap sheet. Then there’s the stolen car, the guns. I’m fucked. No matter what your sweet cop says.”

  “My sweet cop? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  Bea laughed. “You’re sweet on her.”

  Brynn tightened her fists and felt her nails almost penetrate her palms. “I am not.”

  “Yes, you are. Just like when you were thirteen and you had that thing for Ms. Albright. You think I don’t know, don’t notice, but you’re wrong. You’re just a dyke. Simple as that. And now you’ve fallen for a dyke cop. And I need to get the hell out of here.”

  She hurriedly dug in her pockets and panic came over her face. She dug everything back out of her bag.

  “What the fuck, what the fuck…” She was desperate, searching for her smack.

  “Your heroin is gone,” Brynn said. “Save yourself the trouble.”

  Bea straightened slowly and turned, the look of the devil on her face and burning red beneath her skin.

  “What did you say?”

  Brynn walked from the room, unwilling to fight. She was already pissed enough that Bea wouldn’t give in and come in to give a statement. They couldn’t run forever. And her comment about being sweet on Vander had embarrassed her. She hoped Vander hadn’t heard. Dyke? Is that really how Bea wanted to leave things? If Vander wasn’t there, it was very likely that she’d get into a fierce wrestling match with her younger sister over such words. There was disrespect and ignoring her advice and rules, but this…this was unacceptable. Who she was and who she was drawn to was no one’s business, and she’d tried to keep it that way the majority of her life. She’d even dated a few boys in high school for good measure.

  “Everything okay?” Vander asked, turning from the living room window to face her. She appeared concerned, and Brynn searched for any kind of tick or blush that showed embarrassment. She saw nothing. Only the pale, gaunt face of an injured woman.

  “We should go,” Brynn said. She grabbed her jacket, her duffel bag, and baseball cap. There was no sense in staying, and Vander was looking really bad.

  “She’s not coming,” Vander said.

  “No.”

  “I’ll have to tell them where she is.”

  “I know.”

  “I’m sorry about that.”

  “I understand.” Brynn opened the door and Vander whistled for Gunner who bolted out before them. Brynn waited by the door for Vander to exit, but Vander seemed to want to be the polite one. She waved Brynn through and followed her out. They both squinted in the morning sun.

  “Where’s your car?” Brynn asked. “I can go get it.”

  Vander stepped off the porch steps and walked ahead. “It’s this way.”

  Brynn watched in disbelief for a moment but then caught up with her, walking back into the woods. Brynn wanted to ask her questions, but Vander was breathing hard and sweating. They walked through thick brush with Gunner crashing through ahead of them. Brynn noticed that Vander had come through the back, behind the cabin. Her car, a black Chevy crossover, was through the brush where it couldn’t be seen or heard. Brynn had a feeling Vander had been more than careful, had watched for a while.

  “How long have you been here?”

  They paused at the car and Vander dug the keys out and unlocked the doors. Hesitantly, she handed the keys over to Brynn.

  “Since yesterday evening. I had to make sure you were alone and had no guns.”

  “How could you possibly know that?”

  “I snuck in when you two went to the creek.” She waved Brynn off as Brynn tried to walk with her to the passenger door.

  “Why didn’t you say something then?”

  Vander opened the door slowly and tried to hide a wince. “I was hoping to get you alone.”

  Brynn thought back to the creek. How she
had stripped and bathed nude, not a care in the world. How long had Vander been watching? She couldn’t help but ask; she had to know.

  “Why didn’t you talk to me before I stripped and got in the creek?”

  Vander flushed and slid in the car, shut the door, and looked straight ahead. Brynn climbed in next to her, watching her intently. Vander’s jaw flexed as if she were thinking deeply or nervous or both. The sight caused a stirring in Brynn’s chest.

  “I had to make sure you wouldn’t run,” Vander said. She lowered her gaze but still didn’t look at Brynn. Then she struggled with her seat belt. Brynn reached to help, but Vander snapped.

  “I’m fine. Really.”

  Brynn paused, almost afraid to move. She backed away, studied her for a moment, and then started the car. An apology obviously wasn’t coming, but she brushed it off, knowing Vander felt like hell.

  The plume of blood on the shoulder had spread. “I should really take a look at that before we get going. Stop the bleeding.”

  Vander closed her eyes as if she were fighting pain or impatience. “No. Just drive.”

  Brynn, losing patience herself, put the car in gear. “Where to?”

  “The station.”

  Brynn gunned the engine. There was no way in hell they were going to the station. The first stop was going to be the hospital. How could her family and friends let her go off on her own? And hadn’t anyone tended to her wound? Brynn thought cops stuck together, looked out for one another. It didn’t make sense.

  Brynn drove through the thick brush and found the trail. They bumped and swayed, but she didn’t slow. Brynn eyed Gunner in the back who sat watching the road, tongue hanging from his mouth.

  “You did all this for us didn’t you?” Brynn asked. “You kept it secret so you could come on your own.”

  Vander leaned against the door, eyes closed. “Had to. Saved me. Kept Gunner safe.”

  Brynn glanced at her. Her eyes didn’t open again, and her breathing changed as her tense body fell limp. After checking her wrist for a pulse, Brynn sat back and drove, destination hospital, future unknown.