Freedom to Love

by Ronica Black

  “This way.” Brynn walked through what Kat suspected was the living room. A man, one she assumed to be Billy, was asleep on the couch, the old television tuned in to cartoons.

  Brynn crossed to the kitchen and sat at a table, the sunlight streaming in strong in this room, so strongly Kat had to cover her brow and squint until she adjusted.

  “What do you need to talk about?” Brynn sipped what looked like Sun Drop from a sweaty glass.

  Kat settled in across from her and took in the framed photos of Brynn’s family along the dining room wall.

  “It’s Damien. He’s coming home today, and he wants you to be there with him to celebrate.”

  Brynn laughed and traced the sweat on her glass. “He said that?”

  “He did.”

  Brynn met her eyes. “I seriously doubt he cares if I’m there or not.”

  “You’re wrong,” Kat whispered. “He wants you there. We all want you there.”

  Brynn looked away but not before Kat saw her pulse jump in her neck.

  “I’ve missed you,” she said. “I’ve wanted nothing more than to know how you are. Talk to you…hold you.”

  Brynn stood. “You can’t talk like that here.” She took her glass and dumped it in the sink. Stood in front of it, in front of the window, glowing like a goddess. Kat was breathless with desire, but it was obvious Brynn was terrified.

  “Come with me to the party,” Kat said. “So we can have fun and talk some.”

  “You really want a Williams girl at this party?” She was scowling, arms folded across her chest.

  Kat walked to her. “You’re Brynn. Not Bea or Billy or those men out there. You’re Brynn and I see you. I see who you really are.” Brynn inhaled sharply; she trembled. Kat touched her, ran her hands up the outside of her arms. “Come here.” She enveloped her and drew in the scent of her hair and moist skin. Both went straight to her spine like a bolt of lightning. She, too, shuddered.

  “What in the hell is this?” a voice said from behind. Brynn cried out and pushed Kat away. She turned toward the refrigerator as if she were afraid to look at him.

  The older man Kat had seen outside stood with his shotgun hanging down his leg. His overalls were filthy and so were his hands. He’d been working with soil; she could smell it. Probably his garden.

  “She was just leaving,” Brynn said.

  “You’re that cop, ain’t ya?” He looked at Kat with pure disgust.

  “I just came to check on Brynn.”

  He jerked his chin toward Brynn. “She’s fine. See? She don’t need you checking in on her.”

  Kat held up her hands. “I see that, thank you.” She looked to Brynn. “Think about it,” she said. “He’d love to see you. We all would.”

  Kat excused herself and edged past the angry uncle. She recognized him from his lengthy rap sheet. Mostly DUIs, breaking and entering. Mo, his name was Mo. Short for Montgomery. She hurried outside and found his boys meandering around her car. Her heart raced as she unlocked the door and climbed in. She started the engine, but the boys didn’t move. She edged down her window. “You want me gone, then let me go.”

  They moved but continued their dead-eyed stare. Kat sped off, kicking up dirt. But just before she turned onto the main road, she saw Brynn emerge and stare off after her, wiping tears from her eyes.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Brynn could hear the music as she walked up the sidewalk past all the cars edged to the curb. Balloons sprouted from the front porch lights, and laughter spilled out into the brick entryway. She rang the doorbell and did last-minute adjustments of her hair and clothes. The outfit was new; one she’d bought when she’d taken Billy shopping. Her pants were linen, ivory in color, and they matched her linen button-up shirt which she wore open over a white silk tank. She looked very relaxed but well put together.

  The door angled open, and Damien’s wife, Genie, beamed, hand to throat in a gesture of disbelief.

  “Brynn, oh my Lord, get in here.” She embraced her, and Brynn stood in shock at the sudden show of affection. “We didn’t think you were coming.”

  They pulled apart, and Brynn handed over the wine she’d stopped and bought. It wasn’t expensive, but it wasn’t eight-dollar wine either.

  “Oh, you didn’t have to do this.” She took her hand and led her inside. “Damien’s in the back with the boys at the grill.”

  Brynn scanned quickly but didn’t see Kat anywhere. Her heart sank, yet her stomach still did flips. Genie uncorked the wine to let it breathe, but Brynn approached the counter and slid her a nearby glass. “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll take some of that now.”

  She smiled and studied her as she poured. “Kat’s not here yet.”

  “Hmm?” Brynn sipped her wine, still staring out to the backyard.

  “Kat, she got a call. They found the guys from the SUV.”

  Brynn nearly dropped her glass. “Is she okay? I mean—”

  “She’s fine. She wasn’t on duty when they found them.”

  Brynn released a long-held breath. She closed her eyes and hugged herself with one arm. She downed the rest of her wine.

  “Come,” Genie said. “Sit.” She refilled her wineglass and left the bottle on the coffee table. Then she relaxed and crossed her legs. She smiled softly, sincerely. “You know we’ve known Kat a very long time.”

  Brynn lifted her brow. “Oh?”

  “Almost ten years. And in all that time I’ve never seen her quite like she is now.”

  Brynn knew she was supposed to ask what she meant, but she knew what she was getting at. Instead she drank her wine and watched as Damien’s friends drank and laughed, patting him on the shoulders as he sat in his wheelchair.

  “Your home is very nice,” Brynn said, looking around. She loved the vaulted ceilings, the raw wood floors, the large stone fireplace.

  Genie didn’t respond. Just stared at her. “How long have you been in love with Kat?”

  Brynn nearly spit out her wine. “I’m sorry?”

  “How long? I’m guessing it was pretty much right away on your part. You’re more emotional than our Kat, passionate. Probably a romantic?”

  Brynn couldn’t speak. She set down her glass. It shook in her hand. “I, uh, maybe I should go?”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. You aren’t out are you? No wonder why you look so scared.”

  Brynn stood, heart racing. It had taken everything she had to sneak off up to May’s, change clothes, and take off in her car. She had said she was going to a party and May hadn’t asked much more. Uncle Mo had stared after her as she’d driven off. He hadn’t liked Kat being at the house, hadn’t liked their embrace. He’d questioned her, stared into her bones and melted them. He knew something was up; he could smell it. He had told her to tell Kat not to come back. If she did he would consider it trespassing.

  Brynn had gone to her room and slammed things around, so tired of being under the eye of her family. They, of course, were blaming her for Bea’s incarceration. Said she should’ve done more. They no longer trusted her, and rumors about her growing friendship with Kat and Damien had apparently made its way to Williams Lane. Her family watched her from a distance, from right next door, sometimes from the kitchen table. Uncle Mo had made himself more than comfortable one morning before she awoke to find him sitting there smoking a cigarette. “Your lady cop friend drove by again.” He’d blown smoke out his nose and narrowed his eyes. “What does she want, Brynn?”

  Brynn shook her head, pushing his face away from the center of her mind. He was dangerous, and she shouldn’t be here and definitely should not be having this conversation.

  “Don’t leave.” Genie came to her side and gently clasped her hand. “I didn’t mean to scare you off.” She brushed her face with smooth knuckles. “You’re safe here. We know about Kat. We love her and we’re growing to love you too.”

  “I can’t…I shouldn’t be here.” Her voice caved with nerves.

  “Kat’s coming back. She called not l
ong ago…wondering if you were here.”

  Brynn looked at the door. If she left what would she do? Go home, watch another rerun with Billy? Answer more of Mo’s questions when he demanded answers? Go through tomorrow just like today, cleaning and working in the garden? Staring off into space dreaming of Kat and a life she could’ve had in a different universe?

  No. She was fed up. She deserved a life just like anyone else did.

  She nodded and Genie led her back to the couch. “I take it your family doesn’t know?”

  Brynn swallowed hard. “No.”

  “Are you afraid to tell them?”

  Brynn laughed. “Yes, terrified.” She stared at her hands. “Although I think my uncle suspects something.”

  “What would he do?”

  “Uncle Mo? Oh, I don’t know. I know he loves me, but he’s very alpha male and he’s protective. If he thinks something’s not right or something’s hurting me, there’s no telling what he’d do.”

  “And he would think this…Kat…would be wrong?”

  “I’m afraid so.”

  Brynn heard the door open behind her, and Genie stood and welcomed more people. Brynn made her way outside, kissed Damien, took the beer he offered, and nearly downed it at once. She needed to relax, and she willed the buzz to come on and soften the edges. She smiled as other police men and women shook her hand, thanking her for brave actions. She nodded politely, felt herself blush, and tried to be friendly. But honestly, she still felt like she could’ve done more for Damien. But his smile and toast to her said he obviously didn’t think so. She took another offered beer and fell into conversation with the department psychologist. They were discussing her schooling for counseling when Damien threw his hands up and shouted.

  “Vander, get your ass over here!”

  Brynn turned and saw Kat standing on the back patio, beer in hand. She smiled at Damien and held up her beer. “We got ’em!”

  The backyard erupted in cheer. Kat got so many hugs and back slaps, Brynn wasn’t sure how she remained standing upright. Brynn stood where she was, not wanting to intrude. This crowd deserved a celebration, and she wasn’t about to interfere. She sipped her beer and watched Kat with her friends and colleagues. Her smile was incredible, her mood contagious. And when she laughed, Brynn’s heart fluttered. Two people stepped into her view, and Brynn quietly moved, smiled, and nodded at another friendly face and then stopped and refocused on Kat. She couldn’t take her eyes off her. She’d changed her shirt from when she’d last seen her. The new tight white tee, deep v-neck shirt showed off a sliver of a red tattoo. From where she stood it looked like it could be a heart. She wondered who it was for. Jealousy burned through her, and she tried to shove it away, drinking more. She turned, pissed that the sight of the tattoo on Kat’s muscular chest turned her on a little. What else didn’t she know about her? She was one hell of a good lover; she knew that much.

  “Excuse me,” a familiar voice said from behind.

  Brynn stilled, the tenor of the voice, like a gentle breath kissing the back of her neck. She knew it was Kat. Knew she was standing there looking gorgeous in the tee and worn jeans and boots.

  “Yes?” Brynn said, turning.

  Kat pointed to the ground. “You dropped your smile.”

  Brynn closed her eyes, so moved by the blue of Kat’s eyes. She shook with laughter, unable not to. “That’s the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard.”

  She heard Kat laugh. “Oh, come on. It’s good. And it’s true. You were smiling just a moment ago. What happened?”

  Brynn opened her eyes and her gaze took in all of Kat. Her tight blond ponytail, the tan of her skin, the muscles of her neck, shoulders, and chest. The tattoo. She blinked as she tried to look away from it.

  Kat caught her looking. She tugged on her shirt. “You don’t like it?”

  Brynn stared at the full red heart. An arrow was running through it, and a drop of red dripped from the bottom point.

  “There’s no name,” Brynn said before she realized it.

  Kat smiled. “No, not yet. I wanted to ask her permission first.”

  “Oh.” Brynn looked away. She suddenly felt dizzy, a little wobbly. She could smell Kat’s cologne from where she stood, and it was awakening every cell in her body and causing them all to heat, adding to the dizziness. She had to get away or she would throw herself in her arms and beg her to take her home and have her way with her. But this was not the time or place, and who’s to say the heart was for her? But the mere idea that it might be…dear God, it moved her.

  “Would you excuse me, please?” She moved toward the patio and deposited her beer on a table nearby. She heard Kat call after her, but she kept moving. Faces smiled and blurred. Voices laughed and carried. All of it morphed around her as she moved. She entered the house and went straight for the front door. Kat caught her just as she reached for the door handle. Brynn breathed rapidly as she stared at Kat’s strong hand over hers.

  “Wait, please,” Kat said.

  Brynn straightened. “I really have to go.”

  “Tell me why,” she said softly.

  Brynn trembled. She panicked. She nearly fainted. And then she came back, refocused and weighted with determination. “Because I’m in love with you.”

  Silence.

  Kat slowly removed her hand from hers. Then, gently, it was placed on her shoulder. Brynn turned and found Kat’s eyes searching hers madly. Heat kissed her cheeks.

  “What did you say?” she whispered. She blinked quickly, the way she did when she was in disbelief.

  “I said,” Brynn said, voice trembling, “that I’m in love with you.”

  Kat inhaled and then grabbed her by the arms. “You have no idea what that just did to me do you?”

  Brynn’s dizziness intensified. “I have a pretty good idea.”

  Kat looked around, then glanced at the door. “Want to get out of here?”

  Brynn sighed. “More than anything.”

  Kat opened the door and led her out with her hand on the small of her back. They hurried down the brick walkway, beyond the buoyant balloons, and out onto the street. The sun had just set and the streetlights were winking to life. Kat reached for her hand and Brynn took it, warming inside. She felt good, safe. And then with a glimpse of approaching men, it all came crashing down.

  She stopped, frozen.

  Mo and his sons walked up slowly, meeting them head on in the street. They didn’t appear to have weapons, but that did little to control Brynn’s sudden panic.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked hurriedly, releasing Kat’s hand. But Kat grabbed hers again and held tightly. A quick glance at her showed a stern flexing jaw, heat on her cheeks, and a determined flash to her eyes. “Mo?” Brynn was desperate to quell the situation, whatever the situation was. Kat was about to blow and that would be bad, very bad.

  Mo held Kat’s stare. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “We came to see what this party is all about.”

  Brynn again tried to release from Kat, but Kat wouldn’t let her. “Mo, this is a party for Deputy Damien. You know, Sergeant Vander’s partner who was shot?”

  He smiled. “Yeah, I know who he is.” He tugged on his Red Man tobacco ball cap and rubbed the scruff of his growing beard. He’d cleaned up since their encounter at the house, and he and his sons stood in jeans, worn cowboy boots, and T-shirts. She couldn’t help but notice that Kat wore it so much better.

  “Question is,” Mo said, finally looking at Brynn. “What are you doing here? And why in the hell are you holding her hand?” He turned slightly and spit. Her cousin Marty laughed. He was always a little shit, picking on Billy, taking advantage of him.

  She glared at him. “Don’t you have barns to go break into and steal from?”

  He stopped laughing. “Least I ain’t no queer.”

  Heat exploded inside her, and she clenched her fist and took a step forward. “No, you prefer your right hand. God knows you can’t get anyone else to tou
ch you.”

  He squared off with her, wad of chew in his jaw. His eyes, hazel green like hers, were beady and sinister. “Watch yourself, cousin. If you weren’t kin…”

  “What? You’d hit me? Nice.” She looked at Mo. “You must be so proud.”

  Kat squeezed her hand and turned as a few of her colleagues approached from behind.

  “Everything okay, Vander?”

  “It will be as soon as these fellas turn tail and leave.”

  Mo scoffed. “What? Ain’t ya’ll gonna invite us in?”

  “We’ll treat you just like you treat us. So what do you think?”

  He looked at his boys and laughed. Then he looked at Brynn. “We just came for what’s ours. Brynny, let’s go.”

  She closed her eyes and stepped back and touched Kat’s arm with her free hand in an obvious embrace. “No.”

  He reared back in obvious disbelief. “What?”

  “I said no. I’m staying. These are my friends. I’m allowed friends.”

  “Not when they’re the law you’re not.”

  “It shouldn’t matter who they are.”

  He shook his head. “We ain’t like these people,” he said. “And we don’t need the law around.” He tugged on his cap again in frustration. “Now come on. Billy’s waiting for you.”

  “Billy’s fine.” He was working, doing his daily ritual. He was doing well. He no longer needed her all the time. It was as hard for her to admit that to herself as it was to admit it to Mo.

  “Brynny, I ain’t playin’ here.”

  “She isn’t either,” Kat said. “You heard her answer.”

  He glanced at their enclosed hands. “Brynny, it’s us or them. You choose. Right here, right now.”

  “No.”

  He raised an eyebrow.

  “I shouldn’t have to choose between those I care about, and I won’t. I love my family and I love my new friends.”

  “You can’t have us and have them,” he said.

  “Just watch me.”

  “Don’t come home,” he said. “Ever again.”

  “I’ll come home when I damn well please. That house is in my name and so is the lot. Billy’s my brother, and I’ll care for him. Unless…you want to take him on? Pay for his food and clothes, care for his needs?”