Have My Child: BWWM Romance (Brothers From Money Book 14)

by Shanade White

  By the time Marissa left, Julie was feeling much steadier, and more optimistic. Working with Sam wouldn’t be that bad, living next to him might be hard, but if she didn’t look out the windows in the kitchen it would be like she was here by herself. She’d do whatever was necessary to make it work, this was her dream, the one she’d given Sam up for all those years ago. The only problem was that while a part of her had been shocked to see him standing there today, another part had been thrilled, that little part far in the back of her mind that had always wondered if they might have made it.

  Sam put off going to the cabin he’d been assigned as long as he could, not sure what he would do if he came face to face with Juliette. Seeing her that afternoon had driven home the fact that no matter what had driven them apart, he still cared about her, was still wildly attracted to her. Had in fact been tempted to walk around the table, take her in his arms and tell her that, but instead he’d only said her name like an idiot.

  She was still just as beautiful as he remembered, even with her hair pulled back and stuffed into a baseball cap, she stirred something inside him. When she’d looked at him with those brown eyes of hers, it reminded him of all the other times those eyes had looked at him, not with the hurt and confusion that had been in them today, but with the passion they shared. After she’d left the room with Marissa, he’d simply said, “We have a history.” And the conversation had moved on.

  But now as he approached the cabins, he wished that he’d confided in someone. He had no idea how to approach Julie, should he apologize for what he’d said all those years ago or simply act like they were old friends untied after a long separation. Either way, if they were going to work together they had to get past what had happened so long ago. Throwing caution to the wind, he marched up onto Juliette’s porch and knocked on her door.

  It took her far longer than it should have for her to come to the door, and when she finally did, she only opened it a crack. But when she saw it was him, she opened it all the way. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were home,” she said, her voice a little shaky when she spoke.

  Sam could see how nervous Juliette was, and understood, because he was just as nervous. “Can we talk for a minute?” he asked, pointing to the rocking chairs on her porch.

  “I guess that would be a good idea,” she said, coming out of the house.

  After they were both seated there was a long awkward silence, neither sure what to say, finally Sam couldn’t stand it any longer and blurted out, “You look good.” Then laughed nervously. “I’m sorry, that probably wasn’t the right thing to say.”

  Julie’s heart leapt when she heard his words, but she managed not to show it. “It’s okay, you could have said much worse. I mean we’ve both changed,” she said, lacing her fingers together in her lap so Sam wouldn’t see how much her hands were shaking. Julie knew that over the last eight years she’d changed, her figure had gone from that of a slim young girl to that of a woman, and although she wasn’t fat, she had become quite curvy.

  Sam looked at her, his eyes roaming over her body, making her hot. Then he said, “Your just as beautiful now as you were then, maybe more so.” He paused as if he wanted to say more, then added. “I’m sorry you didn’t know I was going to be here. That must have been quite a shock.”

  “I thought you were in Colorado,” Julie said, then wished she hadn’t.

  Sam didn’t miss the fact that she’d known where he was supposed to be, but then he remembered that she’d wanted that job as well. “Be thankful they didn’t hire you, it was a mess. A bunch of amateurs running around the forest with no idea what they were doing. The project folded after only a few months.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that, it sounded like an exciting opportunity,” Julie said, and meant it. “But that means that our study will be the first.”

  “That fact didn’t escape me,” Sam said with a chuckle, glad that Juliette was just as competitive as she always was.

  There was another long silence but this time Julie broke it. “I know we have some stuff in our past that might make this a little awkward at first, but I don’t see any reason why we can’t get past it, be friends,” she said, proud that she’d gotten through it without her voice breaking.

  “Juliette…” Sam started, but she interrupted him.

  “I go by Julie now,” she said, not adding that since the day he’d left her standing in the road she’d never let anyone call her Juliette again.

  Sam looked at her for a second, then continued. “I have to apologize for the way I behaved that day, I said some things I shouldn’t have.”

  “Sam, that was a long time ago, we’re both different people than we were then. Let’s just start fresh and try to forget about the past,” Julie said so reasonably that Sam knew that any chance he might have had at rekindling their love was long gone.

  With a sigh, he said, “I guess that would be for the best.”

  Chapter 3

  Julie shut the door to her cabin and sank down on the couch, her heart pounding in her chest, the pain of all those years ago suddenly as fresh as if it had just happened yesterday. How was it possible that she could still care so much about Sam, still be so attracted to him? It had been so many years ago, but when she’d opened the door and seen him standing on her porch all she’d wanted to do was throw herself into his arms, had in fact stopped herself from doing so.

  Overcome by emotion, she put her head in her hands and cried, cried like she had all those years ago when Sam’s truck had disappeared down the road. After all the emotion had drained out of her, she stumbled off to bed, hoping that sleep would help her to think more clearly. Even if Sam was interested in rekindling their relationship, and she seriously doubted that he did, it would be a mistake.

  She’d come to Coldwater Canyon for the moose not romance, and getting involved with Sam had almost destroyed her once before, she wasn’t going to let that happen again. But she couldn’t get him out of her mind, kept going back to how it felt to be wrapped up in his arms, safe and cared for. Tossing and turning, she wished that in the years since then she’d had at least one other relationship, something to help dull the memory of the nights she and Sam had spent together.

  It wasn’t that she hadn’t tried, that her friends hadn’t tried, but after several failed attempts at finding what she had with Sam, she’d given up. Only going on the occasional blind date when her friends insisted that she needed to find someone.

  “Julie, we’re not getting any younger,” her friend Amy had pointed out the last time she’d set her up. “We should be working on our starter marriages by now.”

  Julie had heard all of Amy’s opinions on love and relationships. “Amy, I don’t care what all the experts are saying now, love isn’t about starter marriages and practice relationships.”

  “Don’t start in with all your romantic spark crap, Julie, that’s not how the world works anymore,” Amy had said, waving her hand in the air. “Let me tell you about Dave….”

  Julie had gone on that blind date nearly three months ago and cringed, it had been by far one of the worst. Dave had turned out to be a self-centered jerk, who thought that since he’d bought her dinner, she owed him something. She’d handed him a stack of money and called a cab the minute the words had come out of his mouth and on the way home promised herself that she’d never go on a blind date again.

  When she’d gotten the job here in the canyon, it had been a relief to get away from Amy and all her good advice and any attempt at romance in her life. But now Sam was here and she was back to the same place she’d been all those years ago, heartbroken and confused. Except, she suddenly thought, I’m not the same person I was all those years ago, I’ve grown and changed. Just because she was still attracted to Sam didn’t mean that she had to act on those feelings, she was a grown woman, capable of controlling herself and her desires, the past didn’t have to repeat itself.

  Tomorrow she was going to go into work and treat Sam like the professional he
was, they had a job to do, an exciting job for them both, there was no reason to cloud the waters with emotions, not when both of their careers depended on this job. Julie was no fool, she knew that this was her opportunity to make a name for herself in the research world, anything less than fabulous results from this study and she’d be shoved into academia where so many who had failed ended up.

  Finally feeling sleepy, she fluffed up her pillow and closed her eyes, sure that sleep would be possible. Instead of thinking about Sam, she went over the maps of the canyon again in her mind, making plans for the next day. Sam may have changed over the years, but she was sure that he’d be as eager as she to get out and start their hunt for the moose that had recently made the canyon their home. The eyewitness accounts were sketchy, taken over a few years with sightings spread all over the canyon, but each described a bull moose with impressive antlers and at least three females with calves.

  The next morning Julie was up early, having slept soundly after her emotional day the day before, she decided to get up when the birds woke her at dawn. By the time Sam came into unpack his office, she’d already finished and was playing with the computers and monitors in the lab. She had the ridiculous urge to get up and run when he walked through the front door, but managed to stay where she was.

  “Good morning,” she called out in a voice that could only be described as chipper, then cringed when she heard herself.

  “Good morning,” Sam said, a scowl on his face.

  Julie felt the tension leave the room, Sam as always was grumpy this morning. “I see some things never change,” she said, unable to resist teasing him. “There’s coffee in the kitchen.” Then she turned back to what she was doing.

  “Hmmp, I see you’re still a morning person,” he said, then stomped off to the kitchen.

  “No, not so much. I was just smart enough to bring coffee with me,” she called after him, laughing.

  “Very funny, Juliette,” he called back down the hallway.

  She wanted to call after him that no one called her that now, but she’d already pushed him as far as she dared. For the first interaction on their first day working together it hadn’t been bad, and she was proud of herself for handling it so well, if she could keep it up, before long it wouldn’t be that hard to be around Sam.

  When Sam got into the kitchen, he grabbed a cup of coffee and swallowed the first half of the cup scalding hot, then waited as it burned it way down to his belly. He leaned against the counter and waited for the caffeine to hit his system, there was no way he was facing Juliette again until he was more awake. His comment about her being a morning person had stirred up some powerful memories and her flippant retort had only fueled the fire, clearly it was going to be more difficult than he thought to keep his hands off her.

  It was almost like his body had been holding onto the memory of hers for all these years, remembering how it felt to hold her, especially in the morning when they were both still fuzzy from sleep. Back then she’d slip wordlessly out of bed and bring him a cup of coffee, then snuggle back into his arms until he was past his morning grump as she’d called it. Now it was coffee in the kitchen alone, but that was preferable to outright hostility or silence, so he’d take it.

  He was still confused about his feelings for Juliette, she’d always had a place in his heart, always been the one who got away. But now she was back in his life and he’s discovered that he wanted her just as much as he’d ever wanted her, maybe even more. The years had shaped her into a beautiful woman, curvy in all the right places, with a healthy sensuality that must drive men crazy, it certainly driving him crazy.

  The problem was that he wasn’t sure how much of it was real desire and how much of it was memories of the past. His instincts told him that there was still something between them, but he’d cautioned himself not to push things too far, they’d both changed over the years and at least the way things were now everything between them was in the past. A romance between them could ruin everything they’d come to the park to accomplish and he wasn’t going to let that happen. The best course of action was to treat her like a professional and do the job he’d come here to do.

  For the first few days, Julie and Sam skirted around anything that came close to a personal conversation. He didn’t ask if she was dating anyone, and she didn’t ask about his failed engagement, each trying to keep everything professional. Their staff trickled in, a few each day until by the end of the first week, all the offices were filled and there was always a quiet hum in the hallways.

  After an especially long day of looking at maps and arguing with Sam about where they should start looking for the moose, Julie stood in the lab thinking just how daunting a task they’d given themselves. Naturally they both had different idea about how to find the moose, Sam was in favor of letting them come to them, finding a prime location where they’d been spotted before and staking it out. Julie wanted to be on the move, following a path she’d outlined that resembled the path the moose might take.

  In the end after hours of looking at maps and seeking opinions from anyone who would get involved, they compromised and agreed on a combination of both. They’d start at one of the sighting locations, stay for a few days, then move on. It was a sound plan, the distressing part for Julie was that they’d be going on horseback, her least favorite way to travel. But with horses they could cover more ground, and carry more equipment, so in the end she’d given in.

  “Still hate horses I see,” Sam teased her in the same tone she’d used that morning.

  Julie shot him a dirty look and said, “I’ve yet to meet the horse who didn’t try to bite me, throw me, or injure me in some way.

  “Well maybe this time will be different,” Sam said, then began to laugh. “Remember Spector, that horse hated you.”

  Julie couldn’t help but laugh. “He did, every time I turned around he was gone. Twice I had to walk all the way back to camp to get him. I swear he used to laugh at me too.”

  She smiled remembering the conversation, then turned off the lights and headed home. Things between she and Sam had reached a point of comfort, but in only a week they’d be headed out alone into the mountains for weeks. Here at least they’d had other people to buffer them, other things to occupy their time, but unless they got lucky and found a moose right away it would be days of waiting with nothing to do.

  The thought made her restless already so she decided that it might just be the perfect time to explore Cedar Ridge, she’d heard that there was store as well as a restaurant and the thought of real food made her stomach begin to growl loudly. She’d make a quick stop at home, change her clothes and make a quick grocery list, then dinner out, where she might just meet a few of her new neighbors. Surprised to find that she was excited to meet some new people, she headed for her cabin, pleased with almost everything in her new life.

  When she got to town, it took her a long time to make it to the restaurant, the town was exactly as it had been described, straight out of the 1930s. Charmed by Main Street, she parked her four-wheeler and wandered around, promising herself that she’d come back during the day when everything was open, it would be fun to poke around in the stores and explore the library and post office.

  The restaurant turned out to be as authentic as the rest of the town, pushing through the front door she saw a long counter with stools and comfortable looking booths and well as long tables in the center of the room. The dinner rush was in full swing, the place almost full and when she stopped to look around the room, a hush fell over the diners as every eye turned to her and she had the sudden urge to turn around and walk out.

  But before she could a man came out of the back and said, “You must be Julie from over at the science building. Come in, let’s find you a place to sit. I’m Jim, by the way.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Jim,” Julie said, relieved when the diners went back to their food and conversation as he led her to an empty table.

  He got her a menu and gave her a quick overvi
ew of what they served. “We use only food that’s been produced here in the canyon with a few exceptions of course. I think you’ll find that nothing is better than homegrown food.”

  “I can’t wait to try it,” she said, going for the one thing she could never pass up, a cheeseburger and fries.

  Jim had only been gone a few minutes when a handsome man asked, “Would you mind if I joined you, there aren’t any tables left and you look lonely over here all by yourself. I’m Steve, I work at the sheep ranch, been here for three years now.”

  In New York Julie would have immediately brushed the tall man off, but this was a different world where it was okay to let a stranger share her table. “Oh course, please sit down,” she said, and held out her hand. “I’m Julie. I just moved here.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Julie,” he said, and sat down across from her.

  Before Julie knew it her table was full of men, all competing for her attention. It was a bit alarming at first, but when the waitress dropped off her food, she leaned in and whispered, “Don’t worry, half of them are happily married and the other half are harmless. Steve’s a pretty good guy if you like the outdoorsy type, never been married, no kids, and he’s got a great job at the ranch.” Then she winked at her and began refilling everyone’s coffee cup.

  After the first bite of her dinner, Julie was happy to listen to the men talk about the canyon, the stories getting more ridiculous as time went on. Everyone seemed to understand that it was all in good fun and the laughter was a refreshing change from the heavy atmosphere that seemed to hang around when she was with Sam. Julie had to admit that she was enjoying being the center of attention and found herself flirting with the men who flirted right back.