No Regrets (Live Today #2)

by Savana Jade

  “I honestly didn’t know you were here. Not until Justin told me he saw you.” She points to me.

  “Me?” I ask. “What do I have to do with anything?”

  “You have her.” Paisley says. “Where do I begin?”

  “How bout from the fucking beginning, because honestly, I’ve about had it with any more surprises.” I blow. Jenna grabs my arm and caresses it.

  “Paisley, come and sit down sweetheart.” Robert commands. She sits beside him and stares down at her hands. She looks so much like both Jenna and Brennan, it’s remarkable. This hand gesture is definitely a family trait.

  “I don’t understand why you just didn’t come to us when you found out about us. We would have listened to you. We wouldn’t have turned you away. It’s not who we are.” Brennan says.

  “I was scared. When I realized that you two were the ones in Live Today, I didn’t know what to think. I just assumed you were too good for me since you were making it big. I always thought they paid your way.” Brennan chuckles at her admission.

  “We fucking scraped by. I had to fight social services just to keep Jenna with me. We didn’t have any hand me downs. The only thing I didn’t have to worry about was the house payment. But now I know why.” He begins to fall apart. “All you had to do was to come to us and tell us who you were. Everything else would have come together. But you didn’t. You got to grow up with mom and dad loving you.”

  “You think I didn’t love you?” Robert cries. “I loved… I love you two so damn much it kills me to see you like this.”

  “But not enough to stay with us?” Jenna asks. “Do you see how messed up this is dad?”

  “Like I said, I can’t change the mistakes I’ve made with you two. All I can do is fix what happens next. As soon as I found out about Paisley, I tried to fix it immediately, but by that time, it was too late. She resented me for not being there for her when she was growing up. I began to focus on her, everything about her, because it was all I could do.”

  “Well, we managed just fine.” Jenna says. “In case you wondered.”

  “Jenna, I really am sorry about today. I didn’t mean to ruin your wedding.”

  “Um,” Jenna links our fingers together. “It’s okay. We both spoke it over and we want to do things the right way. As soon as we get things lined up. We will have a proper wedding with all of our family and friends.” She rests her head on my shoulder. “I’m not saying what you and Justin did was okay, because it wasn’t. What I am saying is, I understand how it feels to grow up to not be wanted. Paisley, I think we have a lot to talk about. I think Brennan and I could help you fill in some blanks, and you could help us with some of the blanks we have.”

  Paisley looks up to her dad, then back to Jenna and Brennan. “I think I would like that.”

  Answers

  Jenna

  “No.” Brennan snaps. “I’m sorry Jenna, but there’s no fucking way you will forgive her that easily!” His entire body is shaking. I release Gabe’s hand and take both of Brennan’s in mine to keep him from snapping. “No, Jenna! No!”

  “Bren, I’m not forgiving her for anything.” I try to speak in a calm tone. I know there is no way in hell things will be easy for the three of us right now, but I am intrigued to find out why she has done this to us. And the only way, is to be calm.

  “But I do want answers, don’t you?” His eyes shoot daggers at her before returning to me. He nods in defeat. “And right now, we’re stuck in the air over who knows where and as much as I want to be as far away from here as possible, I know we can’t. Believe me, just the thought of being on a plane with Justin Andrews makes my skin crawl right now. But we don’t have much choice do we?”

  “He can always land it and they can find their own way home.” He hisses.

  “I can’t argue with that.” I hear Gabe chime in from behind me. I turn to him and narrow my eyes. This is not helping one bit. “What?” He says innocently and shrugs. “Can’t blame me for agreeing with him Jenna. The fucker ruined our wedding day and they may be the cause of Will being gone.”

  “I had nothing to do with your friend.” Justin states, making his way toward us. All eyes land on him. “For the record, I had no clue she gave Jenna those pills until today.” My body tenses just hearing his voice. I’m not sure if I will ever forgive him for what he did. “For what it’s worth Jenna, I’m sorry.” He sits beside Paisley.

  “I have nothing to say to you.” I snap. My body is so tense, I feel like it’s going to break. Anger consumes me as I stare at the two of them together. “You killed William that night.” My body begins to shake remembering that horrible day we lost him. Everything comes crashing down on me. I feel like I can’t breathe. “If you hadn’t drugged me that night, they would have stayed home and none of this would have ever happened.” I try to catch my breath, but it’s too hard.

  “Angel, the drunk driver killed Will.” Gabe pulls me so I’m sitting on his lap. He wraps his arms around me while I sob on his chest. Memories I’ve taken months trying to forget all come crashing down on me. I continuously shake my head. No, they did it.

  “Jems.” Brennan slides closer to us. He rests his hands on my legs, comforting me. “We’ve gone through this, it’s no one’s fault but that drunk fucker that should have never been on the streets to begin with.”

  “They’re right.” Dad says. I glance over to him and I can tell his eyes are glossed over. “You probably don’t remember this, but I loved William like a son. Both he and Matt hold a special place in my heart. When I heard of the news, I was ill stricken. I’m sure his parent’s haven’t said anything, but I have funded the lawyers on their behalf to take the driver down.”

  “I always wondered how they got the money to cover it all. Did you pay for the funeral too?” Dad looks down at his hands before nodding.

  “As soon as we heard where it was being held, I called and covered the bill. It’s the least I could do for saving Jenna.” He looks up and meets Brennan’s eyes. “After all they did for you and your sister, no words can explain how I felt knowing that Will and Matt’s family were both willing to take you two in and look after you.”

  As he continues to talk, I can’t help but look at Paisley. Her face shows so much emotion. I can tell she has suffered like Brennan and I did. When he begins to speak about Will and Matt’s families, her face turns hard.

  “They helped the best they could. They became our family.” Brennan sits back in defeat. These memories are hitting him just as hard as they are hitting me. I shift my legs so they are resting on his lap. I need to be with him right now. I can’t leave Gabe’s side, but having them both close to me is enough. “They helped me when I needed them the most. I… I wasn’t ready to be a father, dad. I’m still not ready, but you gave me no choice. Mom left, so did you. There was no way I would allow anyone to split us up. No way…” His voice trails for a moment. “I had to fight social services to keep us together. I had to work different jobs just to make ends meet.” I hear a huff from the couch across from us.

  “Is there a problem?” I wipe the tears from my face, very un-lady like, when I address Paisley. Her eyes bulge when she meets my glare.

  “At least you had someone.” I’m not sure if she’s addressing me or Brennan.

  “Excuse me?” Brennan snaps. “You had mom for what? Twenty years?” He sits forward. I’m glad I have my legs over his lap, so I can somewhat hold him down. “You were able to have her all to yourself your entire childhood. Then you got dad. How long did we get to have them? Huh? How long Paisley!” he yells. Gabe places his hand on Brennan’s shoulder in support.

  “You have no right to sit there and say one damn word to either of us. You don’t know what it’s like to have your parents up and leave you all alone. You had them! We had no one but each other, because we had no other choice. You had a choice. We didn’t!” A tear falls from his eye. Brennan has been so strong for so long, eventually he needed a breaking point. Dad gets up and sits be
side Brennan. And what happens next has me speechless. He takes Brennan in his arms and holds him. What shocks me most, is Brennan lets him.

  Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine my brother breaking down like he is doing now. My chest is heaving with sorrow and love for him. Gabe tries to shush me by kissing the top of my head. I can feel his chest heaving as he tries to hold back his sobs. Dad holds Brennan tight and continues whispering “I’m so sorry” to him over and over again.

  “I… I’m sorry, I didn’t realize.” Paisley says softly.

  “If you didn’t have them in your life Paisley, it was by your own doing. I understand the circumstances you were born into. The thing is, you had a chance to have a loving childhood.” I do my best to force back my tears. “You were offered the world. From what I see, you had two loving parents that would move heaven and earth to make you happy, and at the first chance you got, you turned away from them.” Her face pales as I continue. “You may not have had the perfect family and I understand that you were sent away even if they didn’t have much of a choice, but what I see in front of me, is a spoiled rotten little girl that doesn’t appreciate what she actually did have.”

  Her eyes gloss over and she drops a few tears. At this point, I can care less about her feelings. She has no clue what we went through. “I deserve that.” She says wiping her face. “I also didn’t know how bad you two had it, until now.”

  “You still have no fucking clue.” Brennan snaps.

  “No, I don’t. And I most likely never will either.” She says as calmly as possible. “But I do know how it is knowing that I will never be in the spotlight.”

  “How can you say that?” Dad asks. “You ungrateful girl. I gave you everything.”

  “But your heart! Your heart wasn’t in it!” She shouts.

  “My heart was broken, Paisley.” He hollers back. “Do you have any clue how hard it was to have your family torn to pieces? Do you have any clue what it’s like to come home only to find out your soulmate has ripped your heart in two?” He chokes, his arm still around Brennan. “My entire world shattered when your mom left us and it only got worse the day I walked out of their lives. Every day of my life I regret what I have done. I loved your mother so much. I had to have a chance to see her, to be with her again.” He turns to Brennan and me. “But you two are a part of me.” His eyes make their way to Paisley. “You all are. I promised your mother that I would do everything in my power to make it up to you and I stand by my promise, so help me God.”

  “Daddy.” A whisper comes from my mouth and he gasps. I don’t know what’s come over me, but I feel this need to comfort him, even though I’m not sure I’m ready to.

  “Wha…What did you just say?” His eyes are wide and glossy. I shift so I’m standing directly in front of him.

  “I said, daddy.” I weep, resting my hands on his shoulders. He suddenly stands.

  “I never thought I would ever hear you say that again.” He cries. “Jenna Lynn, I’m so sorry. I love you princess.” He whispers, pulling me into his arms and holds me tightly.

  “I.” I swallow down the knot in my throat. “I love you too.” I whisper into his embrace, wrapping my arms around him just as tightly. Brennan stands and hugs the both of us.

  “Things are still fucked up. It will take a lot to forgive and forget, but for what it’s worth dad, I’m willing to give it a try. I think that’s the only way we can fully recover from everything.” He says. Dad nods, reaching for Brennan to join our little circle.

  “I think I can live with that son.”

  The remainder of the flight was generally silent. Dad went back into the cockpit when he realized no more fighting would occur. We decide to let Paisley, Justin and their friends take the limo back to the house with dad. Brennan called Matt when we landed asking him to pick us up in the SUV. Drew decided to take a break from his parents and came along for the ride with Matt. Brennan and Ashley sat in the middle while Gabe and I sat in the far back on the way to dad’s. All I want is to forget about everything that’s occurred.

  “No shit?” Matt asks looking over at Drew who’s laughing in the front seat before eyeing me in the rear view mirror. “You seriously knocked Justin on his ass?” I show a fake smile and nod. “Right on Jems. Jenna Munson… MMA fighter.” He chuckles at himself.

  “Dude, it’s not funny man.” Gabe moans.

  “Awe, c’mon bro. Even you can’t sit there without being proud of Jenna.” I glance up at my fiancé and raise an eyebrow when he looks down at me, a ghost of a smile appears. “Yeah, I see you smiling back there. Your thinking, ‘That’s my girl right here.’ Yeah, Jems can take care of herself.” Everyone in the cab laughs.

  “Don’t forget Matty, I can still kick your ass.” I shift to rest my head on Gabe’s shoulder. There’s still so much to talk about, but right now, I just want to take a nice long bath and relax with my guys. “Gabe?”

  “Yeah Angel?” He kisses the top of my head. I don’t think that will ever get old with me.

  “Think we can just hang out in the living room with the guys tonight? I mean, I don’t mind if the parents or Dani join us, but I just need some down time with my boys.” Brennan is listening and turns toward us.

  “The usual guys’ night in?” He asks.

  “Please?”

  “Sounds good to me.” He answers. “Guys mind if we hang in our wing tonight? Jenna wants a night with her boys, the usual.” He asks the rest of the crew.

  “Already got it taken care of. Drew texted his parents and they already ran to get the pizzas, sodas and popcorn. And of course we have every movie imaginable for our viewing pleasure. It should all be ready when we get there.”

  “Ice cream too?” I ask. Drew turns and makes eye contact with me.

  “Ice cream too. I got your favorite and I even had them pick up a variety since I didn’t know what Ashley liked.”

  “Thank you Drew.” Ashley says.

  “Anytime Ash.”

  ~~~

  “What will it be Jems… Super sappy girly movie, a lame comedy or violence?” Drew asks standing in front of the TV. We’ve filled our stomachs with pizza, and per my request, we’ve all changed in to our nightwear for the evening. The guys are in a mixture of lounge pants and sports shorts, I’m wearing my favorite fuzzy pajama bottoms with matching camisole that Gabe bought me for Christmas a few years ago and Ashley chose to wear a pair of sweat pants and one of Brennan’s t-shirts.

  “Step Brothers?” I ask. Drew smiles and pulls it out from the bottom of the stack.

  “Step Brothers it is.” He says and begins to get the TV set up. Gabe and I decide to take up the chaise portion of the couch. He’s sitting against the back cushion and I’m curled up comfortably between his legs under a blanket. Matty has Danika laid out on a little makeshift bed on the floor in front of us. She’s practically ready to pass out any minute now. But he wants to spend every waking moment with her, so he’s choosing to lay with her until she falls asleep. Brennan and Ashley called dibs on the opposite corner of the couch and are making their way back with four huge bowls of popcorn. Once Drew puts the disk in the player, he grabs the remotes and makes his way to sit between us.

  “Is there anything you need?” Dad calls from hallway making his way in. I look at Brennan as he looks at me and I can see the relief in his eyes.

  “I think we’re good dad.” He says smiling at me knowing he means more than just the movie. I can’t help but smile back. Dad comes all the way in and sits beside Gabe and I.

  “I just wanted to let you guys know that Todd’s put Paisley, Justin, Stephen and Alex up in the opposite wing.” That’s what the other two’s names are. “Her room is on that side anyway. They promised to keep their distance from you as much as they can.”

  “That’s not necessary daddy. This is her house. We are happy having our own living area here. We can keep our distance until after the service, then we will be heading to LA for the lawyer.” He closes his eyes and nods.r />
  “You don’t know how much I missed you calling me that.” He pats my leg. “If you want, we can expedite the lawyer and I can fly us out there. I’m sure you have plans for the money you’re inheriting.”

  “Well, actually, Brennan wanted to buy stuff for the band. Maybe a new tour bus or two also. I was thinking about using some of the money to start a foundation to help children that are less fortunate. Kind of like a big brother and sister club. You know, a place they can go and get support from others that are dealing with the same thing we did.” As soon as I say the words, he cringes. I feel horrible for bringing it up, but it’s important to me to be able to help others out too. “I’m sorry daddy, I didn’t…”

  “No, no. It’s okay Jenna. I deserved that.” He pats my leg again. “You have grown to be such a beautiful, strong woman.” He turns to Brennan. “You did good son. I’m proud of both of you for not falling apart when most people would have. You raised a beautiful gem.”

  “Thanks dad.” Brennan’s eyes meet mine and he smiles with pride. “But she also raised me too. We grew up together. We made split decisions for the most part, until she acted like a little bratty teenager.” I poke my tongue out at him and he chuckles. “Like she’s doing now.” I giggle.

  “I couldn’t be more proud of either one of you. You made the best out of what you had, and you built your family out of love and trust. I’m sure trusting isn’t easy with anyone. I want you two to know, that I meant what I said earlier. I will do everything in my power to make it up to you.”

  “I know you will daddy.” I rest my hand on his. “I’m sure it won’t be easy, and there will be more hard times than there will be easy ones. It’s important for you to know how hard it was for Bren and I to live the way we did. I still have so many questions for both you and Paisley. I just want to understand why she did what she did. I want to know a little more about mom. She has something I never had.” I wipe the tear that falls from my eye. “She had a lifetime with mom and I only had five years. I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t hurt, because frankly, it hurts like hell.”