by Paris Rose
“Five.” I bit down on my bottom lip hard to distract myself from my stinging bottom and to prevent myself from crying out. He brought the belt down across my bottom with an obnoxiously heavy hand.
All at once I felt a fire ignite within me. I became furious over the fact that he was hitting me so hard. My desire to please and impress him was quickly engulfed by my rage. He struck me again. It hurt like hell both physically and emotionally. My face flushed and tears streamed down my cheeks.
I kicked backwards like an agitated horse and I felt Trevor stumble as my foot hit him squarely in the thigh. I crawled off the bed and lunged at him full force.
“Dammit, Trevor! That shit hurts.” I pushed him hard, but he barely moved. He had already regained his balance from me kicking him. “How would you liked to be punished, Trevor?! Can you even take what you dish out?” At this point, I had flown completely off the handle. My fists were balled up and I was pummeling Trevor’s chest, but I don’t remember making a decision to hit him. It just happened. All I could see was red and I was crying uncontrollably. “Damn you, Trevor, damn you to hell,” I gasped through wracking sobs.
He grabbed my hands and pinned them to my side before pulling me into a bear hug and walking me backwards. I was too hysterical to resist him. He gently pushed me onto to the bed and pinned me between the softness of the mattress and the hardness of his body. He effortlessly restrained me to the point that I was completely immobile. I just lay there sobbing. I had no idea what had gotten into me, but Trevor’s spanking had really riled me up. I wasn’t sure if I was cut out for the type of relationship that he wanted.
“Giavanna?” He spoke softly in my ear. I was too wound up to respond. I just continued to cry. I was trembling beneath his weight. “Giavanna…calm down now. It’s okay. You did well. I’m not going to spank you anymore tonight, okay. Okay?”
I started to feel embarrassed and vulnerable as my rage began to quell. I had never lost my temper like that before. “Okay.” I nodded.
“What happened there, Giavanna?”
“I don’t know, Trevor. It hurt so bad that I just snapped.”
“Do you want me to make you feel better?”
“Yes,” I whimpered through tears.
“You sure?” he asked gently. I nodded.
“Okay, you’re too out of control right now, so I’m going to have to restrain you. But I promise you, you will feel much better once I’m done with you.” Trevor reached into the nightstand and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. He pressed my wrists together above my head, then handcuffed me to the bedpost. My lip quivered as tears continued to stream down my face. “Shhh, Giavanna. Don’t cry. I’m going to make it all better.”
He gently wiped my tears away with the back of his hand. He kissed me softly on each cheek as I lay there totally helpless. I felt strangely taken care of. He massaged my breasts as he brought his lips to mine.
I started to feel warm and heady, but for some reason I still couldn’t stop crying. I was so overwhelmed by my own emotions, I couldn’t tell if my tears were tears of joy, pain, or relief. I was feeling so many things at once, I couldn’t wrap my head around it.
Trevor gently sucked on my neck as he lifted his weight off of me and slid out of his pants and boxer briefs. My entire body quivered as he grazed against my clit with the head of his cock. I whimpered in anticipation as he rubbed against me with more pressure. I tried to grind against him, but I had no leverage with my hands cuffed above my head. I was totally at his mercy.
I took a deep breath and let him take complete control. He pushed my legs open as he assertively guided himself inside of me. I moaned as his hardness filled me up. His dark, mesmerizing eyes held my gaze as he drove into me. He went deeper with every thrust. I cried out his name as I was overtaken by wave after wave of indescribable pleasure. I felt a hot and heavy tension start at my core and pulsate throughout my entire body. I felt like I was going to explode.
Trevor ran his nose up my neck and to my ear. Feeling his skin on mine made me tingle. “You can come now, Giavanna,” he whispered.
I became completely undone as he exhaled in my ear. I called out to the heavens as all of my mixed emotions and physical tension escalated into back-to-back orgasms. He stayed inside of me as I gradually came down. “I was just getting started, but I can tell you’re exhausted. You’ve been through a lot tonight.” He spoke directly into my ear as he slowly slid his cock in and out of my womanhood. I struggled to catch my breath as he penetrated me with hard, rhythmic thrusts. I was so titillated, I thought I was going to faint. “Giavanna, tell me to come.”
“I want you to come for me, Trevor,” I cooed.
“Beg for it.”
“Please come for me Trevor…please,” I moaned as he continued to pleasure me. He leaned in and kissed me deeply and passionately as he got his release with three hard pumps. He covered my face with several soft kisses before collapsing beside me.
“I love when you beg for me.” Trevor sighed.
“Can you uncuff me, please?” My body was shaking, and I desperately wanted to sleep.
“Absolutely.” He released me from the handcuffs and pulled me into his embrace. “You’re the best, Giavanna.”
“No, you are, Trevor.” I closed my eyes and lay my head on his shoulder. Although my body was starting to recover from the spanking, my mind was still tangled with a barrage of mixed emotions. I felt delicate and vulnerable, so I nuzzled closer to Trevor. He stroked my hair and tenderly kissed me on the cheek, and in that moment, I felt protected. I sighed and allowed myself to relax into his embrace. I clung to him as I began to drift off into sleep.
Chapter 9
OVER TWO MONTHS had passed since the music industry charity function. That night marked a significant shift in my relationship with Trevor. Ever since his extreme discipline, I became more submissive and compliant than ever before. I found myself doing whatever he asked of me, both in and out of the bedroom without question. I even let him progressively administer more severe discipline, including paddling and caning. Every time he disciplined me by spanking me or restraining me, it made me feel closer to him and more dependent upon him. I found myself always wanting to be near him. Whether he was out on the town being a debonair prince charming or in private being a brooding rock star, I just wanted to be close to him.
I used to have reservations about the dark, disciplinarian side of Trevor, but lately, I was deeply drawn to every aspect of him. In the beginning of our relationship, the idea of letting him completely dominate me felt strange and scary. But now I was so entrenched in what we had, I felt like he had more control over me now than he would’ve had I agreed to be his submissive. He had gotten so far inside my head that I could barely even remember who I was prior to our relationship.
Part of me loved letting Trevor be in charge. I never had to want for anything. He took care of all of my needs before I even knew I had them. He continued to provide every material possession that I could ever even dream of, and he constantly satiated my wildest sexual desires as well. My day-to day life was effortless. I didn’t have to think about what to wear, because Trevor picked out most of my clothes. And all the energy that I used to expend asserting myself and trying to climb to the top in my career was now spent catering to Trevor and allowing him to nurture and care for me in return.
My position on Rock Hard TV was going well. I was getting more airtime than I was in the beginning. And I was really enjoying being on television interviewing big names, instead of being stuck behind a computer writing articles about no-names like I was before I met Trevor.
Things were going well. I had nothing specific to complain about. But despite my seemingly perfect life, I felt lonely and empty inside. I also felt lost and confused, because I had everything I thought I ever wanted, yet I still wasn’t completely happy. I was slightly disturbed by the fact that I knew that I had changed, but I couldn’t pinpoint exactly how it happened. Gradually, I realized that I no longer percei
ved myself as an individual, but I instead considered myself to be an extension of Trevor. When I introduced myself to people, I didn’t use my name; I simply introduced myself as “Trevor’s girlfriend.”
Trevor nurtured me and protected me from the outside world like no one ever has, but over the course of our relationship, I’d found myself feeling more antsy and fearful than ever before. I wasn’t quite sure what I was afraid of, but I was frequently consumed by a feeling of dread and anxiety. Whenever we went out, I would cling to Trevor and avoid talking to people because I felt insecure and vulnerable. I also realized that I was no longer able to maintain eye contact with people; it made me too uncomfortable. At times, I couldn’t understand my own behavior. Trevor always told me how beautiful I was, so I had no idea why I felt insecure. And he was very protective and caring, so I didn’t know why I frequently had a sense of fear in the pit of my stomach.
Whenever he was away, I could barely function without him. His staff cooked and cleaned for me, and Jade would usually return my call if I needed someone to talk to, but I still felt off kilter if Trevor wasn’t near.
For the past few weeks, he had been in the process of starting a new music television station based in New York, so he was starting to travel often. And even when he was home in L.A., he was always working late at the office, so I was left alone with my thoughts far too frequently. Aside from when Trevor was holding me after a discipline session, I was happiest when I was on-air or preparing for an interview. When I was left alone to my own devices, I felt like my loneliness and insecurity was eating me from the inside out.
I recently started acting out and purposely disobeying Trevor so that he would punish me more often. I often craved the physical pain his punishments inflicted because it distracted me from my emotional torment. And I especially lived for the way he would cradle me in his arms and soothe me after disciplining me. Usually, the rougher the discipline, the sweeter and more nurturing he was afterward, so I never objected to a really severe paddling or caning.
There were a few times he had to stop in the middle of spanking me because my pain threshold was too low. He assured me that in due time, I would be able to take more intense discipline.
But he warned me not to intentionally provoke him just to get his attention. He said that the work he was doing with his business was very important, and if I kept distracting him, I would jeopardize the lavish lifestyle that we have. He promised me if I was supportive and obedient during this high-pressure busy period that he would have a really special treat for me. He said once the television network was up and running in New York, he would take me on a month-long vacation of my choice with just the two of us.
Every time I became impatient with Trevor’s schedule, I reveled in the memory of our vacation to Hawaii. I would give anything to relive that vacation again. Everything on that trip was perfect, from the food, to the sex, to the discipline. My body quivered every time I reminisced about how he’d deflowered my derrière.
We had some really great moments on that trip where we really bonded and got to know each other. Back then, our relationship didn’t revolve solely around discipline. Things were much lighter and more romantic back then. Even though part of me loved things as they were, deep inside I wondered if there was a way we could get our relationship to the way it was before I moved in.
I was so lost in thought, I had no idea how much time had just passed. It was late on a Friday night and Trevor was still at the office. I was home alone, sitting in the dark, nursing an expensive bottle of wine.
I kept glancing in the mirror, and I was grateful there was only a little bit of light spilling in from the window. But even in the darkness, every time I caught a glimpse of my reflection, I had to look away, because I didn’t like what I saw. The diamond collar Trevor gave me was the most vibrant thing on me. I felt like I was losing my beauty. I emptied my wine glass in one sip and decided that after tonight, I would cut back on drinking. Trevor would never approve of how much alcohol I was consuming lately, and I think it was making me look and feel worse than I already did.
I needed to talk to someone who wasn’t in Trevor’s circle. Amber was the only person I felt I could trust enough to talk about my situation. I didn’t even feel comfortable telling her everything even though I knew she would have something valuable to say. I didn’t want to bother her because she was amidst a very grueling world tour, but in this moment, she was all I had. I knew she was somewhere in Asia, but I didn’t know how late it was in her time zone or if I could get a hold of her.
I figured it couldn’t hurt to try so I called her on Skype. I tried three times in a row and I couldn’t get an answer. I sent her a quick email telling her I needed to talk to her. I didn’t want to bring Trevor’s friends into this, but Jade said I could call her if I ever needed her. I texted her first to ask if she was available to talk. She texted back right away and said that she was on her way home from a night out so that she could talk for a while. I immediately dialed her number without texting back.
“Jade?”
“Hey, Giavanna, what’s going on?”
“Hey, sorry to bother you, but I really need to talk.”
“You’re not bothering me. I’m stuck in Friday night traffic. I had a late dinner across town, and now I’m at a standstill on the highway. I’ve got nothing but time.” Jade sighed.
“Oh, good. Thanks for picking up.”
“No problem. What’s on your mind?”
“Jade, I just want to be clear—I’m not calling to complain, okay? I need to talk about Trevor. You know I think he’s really awesome right?”
“Yes, I know how much you love Trevor, sweetie. There is no doubt in my mind about that. What’s going on? Did he do something to upset you?”
“No, not exactly.”
“Well then what is it?” Jade prodded gently.
“It’s just that…” My voice cracked. I swallowed hard to stop myself from crying. “It’s just that I miss him. He is never around. Even though we are a couple, I feel like we aren’t really friends anymore. He is really loving and takes great care of me, but I can’t remember the last time we just hung out and had fun like we used to. I would give anything just to hold his hand and take a walk around Beverly Hills, or just to relax and have a drink on his boat like we used to do. We never see each other anymore, and when we do see each other, we are having sex or sleeping. I want us to date again like in the beginning.”
Jade remained quiet after I finished speaking. I opened my mouth to speak again, but I swallowed my words. I decided not to share my thoughts on the fact that my relationship with Trevor revolved solely around him disciplining me and comforting me after said discipline. I didn’t think Jade would empathize since she was so vested in being a Domme.
“Aww hunny, I’m sorry you aren’t happy right now, but don’t worry. It’s nothing that can’t be fixed. Have you tried talking to Trevor and telling him how you feel?”
“No, not exactly.”
“Well, contrary to popular belief, men are not mind readers.” Jade chuckled. “As awesome as it would be for them to already know exactly what we want, it just doesn’t work like that. You’ve got to realize they aren’t as perceptive as we are, hunny. I think they do try, but most of them are just too oblivious to pick up hints. Next time he’s home, you should sit him down and talk to him. Tell him just like you told me that you miss him and you want to see more of him.”
I paused and thought about what Jade said before responding. “Hmmm…your advice makes sense, but I don’t know, Jade. I don’t want him to think I’m clingy. And I also don’t want to distract him while he’s trying to launch the new TV network. He’s already told me how important this is to him.”
“Hun, I’m sure Trevor would appreciate your thoughtfulness, but I’m equally certain he realizes that your feelings are more important than his latest business deal. Trust me, Giavanna, Trevor probably wouldn’t have this business deal if it wasn’t for you. Ever sin
ce he met you, he has been absolutely on fire. You’ve been the best billionaire’s first lady I’ve ever seen him with. You’re clearly making Trevor very happy, so you deserve to get your needs met, too.”
Jade’s comments made me blush. Ever since I met Trevor, I felt so lucky to have him, but I never thought about the fact that maybe he was just as lucky to have me. “Just ask him if he can schedule in a non-negotiable date night at least once a week. It’s not unreasonable. And knowing that you guys have at least one night together would probably make you feel better.”
“Jade, do you really think I’m the best girl Trevor’s ever had?”
“Yes, absolutely, dear. There is no contest. I’m certain Trevor would agree.”
“Aww, thanks Jade. I really needed to hear that.” I smiled for the first time in a long time.
“I’m glad I could help. You should talk to him tomorrow. It’s the weekend and he’ll be more relaxed than during the week.”
“Yes, I like how you think. I’m going to talk to him tomorrow while he’s in a good mood and while I still have the courage. Thanks so much for talking to me Jade. It really helped.”
“No problem.”
“Hey, did you make it home yet?”
“Nope.” Jade laughed. “I’ve made it about one mile since when you called me. I probably won’t be home for another twenty minutes.”
“Aww, that sucks. Well, text when you get home so I know you made it safely. This wine is getting to me, so I think I’m going to go to bed. Thanks again for everything.”
“Like I said, I’m happy I could be there for you. Any friend of Trevor’s is a friend of mine. If you ever need anything, I’m here. Anyway, I’ll text you when I get home. Sleep well, Giavanna.”
“Thanks, Jade. Good night.”
“Good night.”
* * *
When I awoke, it was early afternoon. As I made my way to the bathroom, I could hear Trevor on the phone, down the hall in his office. It sounded like he was negotiating something. I was nervous about talking to him about our relationship, but it had to be done. There were a lot of things that I needed to talk to him about. I figured I would just approach one issue at a time. My main priority was talking to him about spending more quality time together.
