Grace Lost (The Grace Series)

by Lewis, M. Lauryl

  “Ya, sounds ok,” I mumbled. I was feeling tired from everything we had been through in one day.

  “I’m going to need to help Gus drag his uncle’s body away, or the stink’s going to get in here. We’ll do that while you get settled in. Take your wet clothes off and lay them out by the fire. You can stay in one of the sleeping bags and try to sleep till they’re dry. I want you to keep the door locked though, ok? We’ll use the key to get back in.”

  Gus came back in with the sleeping bags and pillows, and a roll of toilet paper. Boggs relayed the plan to him, and the two headed out. Since Gus took the toilet paper with him, I figured nature called.

  “Lock the door, Zoe,” reminded Boggs.

  I did as instructed then watched through one of the small rectangular openings next to the door as the two men walked toward the fallen corpse. As they each took a leg and began to drag, his upper body fell away, lightening their load. His insides were dry, creating a fine powder. I saw Boggs cough. Gus walked into the trailer, holding his shirt over his nose, and emerged with a bed sheet that was covered in dark brown stains that I presumed was old blood. He laid it out flat on the muddy ground and the two men started piling on pieces of Chuck. When they were done they hauled the bundle off into the woods. I lost sight of them and turned toward the fireplace. I took my shoes and socks off, and stripped out of my wet t-shirt and shorts, down to my matching powder blue bra and panties. I laid my clothes out near the fire, next to Gus’ hat. I added one more wedge of wood to the fire and rolled out one of the sleeping bags, laying it on the old mattress. I set out the ARCO feast of Doritos and bean dip and Cherry Cokes for when Boggs and Gus returned. Exhaustion overcame me while I waited. I slid into the flannel-lined sleeping bag and lay my head on the pillow from Boggs’ bedroom. It smelled like him, which I found comforting. I fell asleep and dreamt of things that don’t belong in even the worst of nightmares.

  I woke disoriented and it took me a moment to realize where I was. My body ached, especially my hip. I sat up and looked at the two men who were set aglow by the soft orange light from the woodstove. Boggs tossed my now-dry t-shirt to me, causing me to blush realizing I was still in just my bra. Gus had politely averted his eyes this time.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled. “What time is it?”

  Gus looked at his watch. “Two o’clock in the morning. Just a bit after. Sleep well?”

  I didn’t answer, still trying to orient myself. The air in the little building felt warmer and not as damp as earlier. I held the t-shirt in a clump to my chest, and climbed under the covers while I slipped it over my head and arms.

  I crept out from under the thick sleeping bag, the large shirt coming nearly to my knees. The guys were playing a game with a deck of cards they had found.

  “Mind if I sit and watch?” I asked. I had a strong desire to be next to the warm fire and the two men.

  “C’mon over, Zo. We saved you some chips,” Boggs said. He sounded tired.

  I sat cross-legged on the sheep skin between the two of them, facing the fire. Gus handed me an unopened Cherry Coke, and I took it thankfully. My stomach growled fiercely and my mouth was dry. My teeth had sweaters growing on them. I twisted the cap and drank eagerly from the plastic bottle.

  “Thanks, Gus.” I set the bottle down in front of me and reached for the half-empty bag of Doritos. I ate several and took another long pull from the Coke before speaking again. “Sorry about your uncle.”

  “Thanks, Zoe. Me too,” answered Gus solemnly. “Looks like he’d been dead for awhile. Last I talked to him was maybe…six months ago?”

  Boggs leaned back against the bean bag he had claimed. I tried not to look at his bare chest as light from the woodstove flickered across his skin. He reached down and brought the bottle of tequila that had been on the shelf to his lips. It was clearly not as full as it had been when we first arrived.

  “Boggs…c’mon. You don’t need that crap,” I snipped. Boggs knew I wasn’t fond of hard alcohol or drugs, both being the reasons for the deaths of my sister and our parents. I also knew he held his own recent sorrow linked to indulging.

  He sighed. “Tonight, Zoe, I think I do.”

  Gus looked at me softly. “Zoe, Boggs told me about your folks. I’m really sorry about what happened to them. Tonight, though, I think we all just need a break after the hell we’ve seen today. We’ll be responsible about it. Ok, darlin’?”

  I wiped a tear away from my eye and nodded. I actually understood. When I was a junior in high school, my older sister overdosed on cocaine. My parents had rushed to get to the hospital. A drunk driver had crashed into their car on the way. My mom and dad had died instantly. My sister, Ruthie, had died while they were on their way. I was left alone to grieve the loss of all three of them. My best friend was away at college, and had only called once. I didn’t want to rehash those memories right now. Between those memories and the horrific events of the day, I could use a drink myself.

  “Ya. Ok.” I said and reached my hand out for the bottle. Boggs handed it to me and watched me drink. The light amber liquid burned my throat, but I drank heavily wanting to numb the pain.

  Gus’ hand gently took the bottle from me. “Ok, darlin’ that’s enough. Gotta keep our wits about us.”

  “Gus, you’re not from around here are you?” I asked.

  “Why do you ask?” he replied.

  “You talk funny,” I said without much enthusiasm.

  Gus stretched, and then answered. “I moved out here a couple years ago. I’m from South Carolina. Long story, different life.”

  It was pretty clear that Gus didn’t want to talk about his past in any detail. I didn’t push for any more information.

  I heard Boggs strike a match and watched as he held it to the clay pipe that Uncle Chuck had kindly left behind. A puff of smoke went up in the air and just as quickly disappeared as he took a drag, filling his lungs. He closed his eyes and laid his head back against the bean bag, holding his breath as long as he could. He finally let the sickly sweet smoke escape. The room filled with the scent of skunk that pot can mimic, which mingled with the smell of decay that still clung to our skin and noses. Boggs passed the pipe to Gus, who followed the ritual then handed it to me. Boggs lay back again and was watching me in a way I had never seen him do before. Gus watched me and when he noticed me just staring at the pipe, clueless, he reached into one of the shoeboxes and produced a pinch of dried weed.

  “Hold it to your mouth and I’ll light it. Just breathe it in and hold it until you can’t anymore.” I did as instructed. The smoke began to fill my lungs, and they protested loudly in a fit of hacking. Boggs sat up.

  “Jesus, you guys. Gus, she’s never done it before.”

  Gus chuckled like a school girl. “Ya, I could tell.”

  Between coughing fits I asked, “Can I try again?”

  “No, you cannot,” asserted Boggs. He took the pipe from my hand and relit it for himself. After his toke, he relaxed into the bean bag again.

  Gus took the pipe from the other man. “Here, Zoe. Just breathe in when I blow it at you,” he instructed. He lit it, sucked the smoke into his mouth and blew it at my face. I inhaled it more easily this way, and held it in my lungs as my brain numbed and the world around me spun refreshingly slow. He set the pipe aside to rest on the shelf while the three of us laid back to enjoy the warmth of the fire. I nestled in next to Boggs, my arm against his bare chest, enjoying the warmth from his body as much as I enjoyed the heat from the fire. My head was starting to spin from the alcohol and for the first time in a long time I felt semi-content.

  “You’re hot, Zoe,” mumbled Boggs.

  “Uh, thanks?” I said sleepily.

  “No, I mean you feel like you’re feverish,” he clarified.

  Gus crawled over to us and I felt his cool hand touch my forehead. I slept after that.

  Chapter 4

  When I woke, the fire had died, leaving the stone room cold and damp. The beginnings of morning light fi
ltered in through the two small openings beside the door. My bare legs shivered and my head ached. My throat was scratchy and my eyes dry. I lifted my head from Boggs’ chest, where it must have settled as I slept. Boggs rolled away from me, forcing me to sit. The room spun.

  “Morning,” chirped Gus. “Hope you don’t mind I grabbed some cans from the car and have breakfast ready.”

  Food. The thought of it made my stomach roll in protest and I groaned. I had to empty my bladder something awful and what was left in my stomach from the night before threatened to make an unwelcome reappearance. I got up and stumbled toward the door.

  Gus caught me before I could reach my goal. “Hold on there, darlin’. No going out without one of us.” He looked toward Boggs. “You need fresh air, Boggs? Or do you want me to go?”

  “No, it’s ok. I’ll go with. Zoe, come on.” Boggs stood and walked toward me.

  I held my hand over my mouth, showing urgency. I ran the rest of the way to the door, unlocked it, and stepped outside. The mountain air held a chill and was heavy with moisture. Thick fog surrounded us, making the wooded area seem haunted.

  “Zoe, keep close.” He said quietly. “Stay in sight, ok?”

  “Ya. No problem there.” I leaned over and threw up violently until it turned to dry heaves.

  Boggs came up behind me. He put his hands on my shoulders and lowered his deep voice even more. “Zoe, you peed yourself.”

  I turned toward him and looked up at his face. He felt my forehead with the back of his hand, then felt my cheek in the same manner. “You’re burning up, Zo. Let’s get you back inside.”

  My legs and panties were soaked in urine. I hadn’t been able to hold it in while my stomach wretched to be free of whatever poisons it held. Vomit splattered my bare feet and legs, mixing with the mess. Boggs called out to Gus as the woods spun around me.

  My best friend pulled my t-shirt over my head and used it to wipe my legs. He pulled my panties down and helped me step out of them. I was too sick to care if anyone saw me naked. Gus joined us outside. The thick fog surrounding us seemed to seep into my head. I closed my eyes and felt like I was falling.

  I heard only fragments of what Boggs said to Gus. He sounded panicked.

  “Threw up…looks bloody…pissed herself…not sure…”

  I was too weak to open my eyes. I felt someone wrap a towel around me and then cradle me in their arms. I heard myself moan softly, and then the dry heaving began again.

  Gus’ voice was mixed in at odd intervals “she looks bad” and “what if she’s turning into…” and “one of us needs to stand watch.” I heard Boggs mention my hip. I realized my leg was throbbing angrily. As I drifted into a deep sleep I prayed for the pain to stop.

  There were moments filled with a burning fire in my leg, others of ice cold that chilled me to my core. Every time I opened my eyes I saw one of my companions sitting beside me, often holding a wet cloth to my forehead or forcing drops of water into my mouth. The water began to taste bitter and I fought to spit it out. I became enraged when both the men held me down and forced me to swallow. I was too weak to fight back. Nightmares blended with reality.

  My moments of alertness seemed to grow longer, and each time one of the men was still at my side. My constant hot-cold fluxes ebbed and I started to become aware of time again. Boggs’ large hand was on my forehead and he smiled down at me.

  “Welcome back, kid.”

  I tried to speak but my throat was dry. Boggs helped me sit up part way and handed me a bottle of water. I swallowed gingerly, then more deeply, craving the liquid.

  “What happened?” I whispered.

  Boggs looked serious, and thoughtful. “You got sick the morning after we got here. We were scared to death it might be this zombie crap.” Zombie. Someone had finally said it. “You were burning up with fever and hallucinating. Gus helped me get you inside, and we’ve been forcing crushed antibiotics down you for two days.”

  “Antibiotics? Where’d you get them? And where’s Gus?”

  “He’ll be back soon. He’s out in the Explorer gathering more firewood. We found antibiotics and pain pills in Chuck’s trailer. It turns out our hitchhiker’s an ex Army nurse. We got lucky. Your hip got infected, Zoe, badly. He had to lance it.” Boggs’ eyes were welling with tears.

  “Boggs? What’s wrong?”

  He sniffled and hung his head. “I was so afraid, Zoe. Afraid of losing you. Having to hold you down while he cut you like that…”

  I used my elbow to sit up a bit more. My hip stung. “C’mon Boggs, you can’t get rid of me that easy.”

  He tried to smile. “I’m glad.”

  “Thanks for taking care of me, Adam.” I hadn’t called him by his first name in a long time. He scooted closer to me and held my hand.

  “You’re all I have left, Zo.” He squeezed my hand in his and I fell asleep again.

  When I woke, Gus had returned. He had come back with a carload of split wood and some supplies. The small woodstove had a cast iron Dutch oven and a skillet on top and the smell of baked beans and frying bacon pleasantly filled the air.

  “Morning, Glory,” said Gus.

  “Hey,” I said weakly. “What’s all this?” I asked, slowly sitting up.

  “Breakfast,” answered Boggs. “Gus here was kind enough to scavenge a house nearby.”

  “By yourself?” I addressed Gus, my tone full of concern.

  He winked at me. “Don’t sweat it. I’m fine. No harm done. Now let’s take a look at you.”

  He came over and knelt next to me and felt my pulse. “Much better, darlin’.” He touched my forehead and nodded. “Good, fever’s down. But I want you to keep taking the pills, ok?” He handed me a large capsule, half yellow and half brown. It smelled funny.

  “What is it?” I looked at it skeptically.

  Boggs answered. “Just the antibiotic, Zo.”

  I put it in my mouth, trusting Boggs fully. He handed me a bottle of water and I swallowed the pill. Gus brought a plastic bowl full of beans and weenies over to me. “Try to eat something, and then we’ll help you get cleaned up. I brought one of those camping showers back, and a change of clothes.”

  I took the bowl and spoon and ate hungrily. I hadn’t realized canned beans and Vienna Sausages could taste so good.

  “If that stays down ok, we’ll try some bacon,” said Gus.

  “Where’d you get bacon?”

  “The house I came across still had electric. Found it in the freezer,” said Gus.

  I noticed they were both clean shaven and wearing new clothes. “Are we going there?” I asked with my mouth full. “To the house?”

  “No, darlin’. The house is gone,” said Gus.

  “What do you mean?” I asked, not understanding.

  “When I went back for a second load it was overrun with those creatures,” he continued.

  “Zoe, Gus lit it on fire. There were just too many of them and it was too close to our little shack here. We had to leave you here for about an hour to take care of the problem.”

  “They’re gone though, right?” I asked.

  “You bet darlin’,” answered Gus. “All gone.”

  I nodded, and shoved another spoonful of beans into my mouth. “Ok.”

  “Slow down, Zoe. It’s been two days since you ate,” said Boggs as he took the bowl away from me. “I’ll take you outside to get cleaned up.”

  “Gus, can you finish cooking the bacon?” asked Boggs.

  Gus nodded. “Ya sure. Leave the door open so I can keep an ear out, ok?”

  “You bet,” said Boggs as he helped me to stand, my legs weak. We walked together to the narrow door and he led me out into the still gloomy weather. In the Pacific Northwest gray days can linger. It wasn’t raining now, but the many trees that overhung continued to drip water and the sky was overcast. Boggs left the door open and we walked around the corner of the building, where the guys had fashioned a hanging curtain meant for privacy while camping. A small hand-hel
d shower was attached to a water pump that was fed by a portable propane line. Boggs helped me to a lawn chair that sat next to the contraption then primed the line and hit the auto-ignite switch.

  “Wait here just a sec, Zoe. I’m just going to grab a towel.”

  I sat in the chair patiently, enjoying the fresh air. I watched the old trailer, wondering what had happened to cause the dwellers inside to die their first deaths. Boggs returned quickly, a fluffy white towel in hand. He hung it on a nail and held his hand out for me. I took it and slowly stood.

  “Zoe, I can come in and help if you want?” he offered. I must have worn a look of shock. “You’re so weak. I just thought…”

  “I’m sure I’ll be fine, Boggs. Just stay close?”

  “Always.” He kissed my forehead and turned around.

  Someone had dressed me in a men’s button-up shirt. I struggled with the first button, my arms weaker than I had realized. He heard me sigh in frustration and turned to face me, trying to hide an ‘I told you so’ smile.

  “Fine,” I said in frustration.

  He took a step toward me and gently unfastened the top button. He reached the second, starting to bare my chest. He leaned in and whispered near my neck. “It’s ok, Zoe, I’ve seen you before. Just let me help you, ok?” His breathing was becoming heavy and instinctively I knew this was difficult for him. His voice held a degree of longing that had never been between us before. “When I thought I might lose you, Zo, I realized I’d rather die myself.” I could feel his lips brushing my neck, and I backed away just enough for him to perceive my discomfort. He hesitated, only briefly, and his lips brushed my neck again as his fingers were now working on a button near my waist. “I can’t lose you, Zoe Kate,” he whispered between breaths. The buttons all free, he slid the long sleeved shirt down my shoulders and let it fall to the ground. I was naked beneath and could feel his body close.

  “Boggs,” I breathed, intending for him to stop. His lips found my earlobe and his hands reached behind me, pulling my body to his. My heart now pounding, I tried again to speak but his mouth found mine and hushed me as he tasted me deeply. His passion flowed through me and my already weak muscles gave in to his strong embrace. He held me against him, his hands searching me wildly and finding my bare bottom while he pressed himself against me, his desire obvious by the hardness I could feel through his pants.