Only Her Heart (The Jaded Hearts Club)

by Olivia Linden

  “Edward. To what do I owe this honor?”

  “No nephew. I assure you that the honor is all mine. And, once again, I get the added bonus of a two for one. Jade, it’s a pleasure to see you as always. What? No hug for me?” Edward moved closer as he casually pulled out a gun from his waistband. I flinched at his advance, gripping the sides of Julian’s shirt for dear life. He continued to stand, like a roman statue, glaring at his uncle, who was regarding us sinisterly.

  “Don’t worry Jade. You don’t hold quite the same allure to me as you may the other men in your life. Speaking of which, that was always your weakness Julian. You always focus on the wrong goals. Instead of ruling an empire, you lust after just one woman. It’s in your blood I guess. And now you can disappear like your unfortunate uncle did for Vivian. And since you will be gone, I guess I will just have to step in and help out. Your father will be disappointed, I’m sure. But no worries. I’ll hold the reins. Gladly.”

  A smug grin played at the corners of Julian's mouth as he continued to glower at Edward. The advancement of his accomplice caused me to shy further away, inadvertently pulling Julian with me. He placed a hand over mine, to still me.

  How could he remain so calm? I on the other hand, was slowly going through every breathing technique I could remember.

  “So that’s what all this is about? Taking over the job I don’t even want? It means that much to you, you can have it. I never wanted that life,” Julian’s tone was cool, matter-of -fact even.

  “You know it would never be so easy. As long as you are breathing, your father will try to convince you to be the son he wants. He seems to believe you have it in you. Must be his old age. But in any event, I’ve waited long enough. And thanks to your little chica there, I can’t wait any longer. It’s time for me to return to Cuba for good. So you see, I really have no choice in this.”

  “When did you become my enemy? We always have a choice. Why is this yours?”

  “I guess, lacking an automatic silver spoon in my mouth could be the blame. You only know half my life. You have no idea what it means to be hungry, in all aspects. Sleeping on the streets. Not eating food, or only scraps for days at a time. I’ve always wanted this. Watching you have things handed to you, and you not have any clue. No appreciation. Just like you deserve it. Well, I deserve things too.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. They had practically grown up as brothers, but the whole time, Edward had been resentful of Julian. Waiting for a chance to stab him in the back.

  “And my mother? Your sister? What about her. She helped you and this is how you show your appreciation? And to think I used to look up to you.” Julian’s voice was full of regret.

  “Shut up! Enough. I don’t need to hear your whining. I’ve had fifteen years of it. Ana will be well taken care of, as usual. Now, I’ve had enough of our little chat so...”

  “Freeze, Edward!” Ryan yelled the command as he slowly eased out onto the deck, gun aimed at Edward. My eyes popped out of my head at the sight of him in full FBI gear. My level of confusion rose to heights unknown. He wasn’t a regular detective. Little puzzle pieces began to fall into place.

  Edward turned to see who was approaching us, seemingly unswayed by the new arrival to our sordid party. A forced laugh fell from his lips as his waved his gun at Ryan, gesturing for Manny to take care of him. And, once again throwing me for a loop, Manny pointed his gun at Edward.

  “Drop it,” Manny ordered slowly. Edwards expression grew even more sinister with the barrel of Manny’s 45 caliber aimed between his eyes. Julian stepped backwards, quickly sweeping me out of harms way during the distraction. Ryan walked up closer, pulling a pair of cuffs out to detain Edward, who remained in his seat with a total look of resignation, and absolute fear.

  “Looks like you made a few wrong choices yourself Eddie. Hiring a federal agent isn’t usually good for business. Is it?”

  Ryan taunted him as he roughly pulled both arms behind the man’s back and slapped the cuffs on. As if on cue two more agents stalked out of the houseboat and dragged Edward away. My relief was delayed as I watched the pain that Julian attempted to keep from showing on his face. I held him gently, only imagining how he must feel. The slight tremble of his chest reignited my water works. It would have killed me if Jackie had ever betrayed me this way. He just held me, and stroked my back. Comforting me, as I sobbed for him.

  And just when I started to calm down, and begin to try to process this whole fiasco, another voice adds to the cluster-fuck of my evening.

  “Jade! Are you ok?” John called out as he made his way to the boat’s deck. I turned in horror to see the look of total fury on his face as he swiftly descended upon us. I released Julian, but he tightened his hold on me, standing stone as he had when Edward surprised us. Totally Ignoring this fact, John made an attempt to pull me into his grasp.

  “She’s fine. Sorry you weren’t able to swoop in and save her this time,” Julian barked as he pulled me closer to him. John’s eyes narrowed dangerously as he stepped closer to his adversary. Still frozen, like a dummy, I watched as another ugly scene played out in front of me. This one a long time coming.

  “Is that so? Well I doubt that if she is standing anywhere near you. Now. Let. Her. Go.” John uttered the order in a deep staccato tone.

  “Actually, we have some unfinished business, so if you don’t mind. Ryan, please remove your cousin from my boat. Jade isn’t being held against her will.” Julian kept his glare on John while he spoke to Ryan, who happened to be amused by this entire scenario. I managed to pull away as my eyes implored Ryan to do something. He just shrugged and folded his arms as he continued to enjoy the show.

  “Ok, now just hold on.” I tried to diffuse the situation but they just continued to stare each other down.

  “I’m not holding on, let’s go,” John replied and grabbed my hand.

  “Are you going to finish our talk Jade?” Julian put his hand out to halt John’s progress.

  Before I could even blink, I was pulled away by a third set of hands and John’s right hook was connecting with Julian's jaw, who responded in similar fashion. I screamed as both men began to grapple like wild animals. John was like a wild beast as he rammed the other man to the ground. Then Julian began using some sort of martial arts technique that had John stunned, but he was holding his own and there didn’t seem to be any end in sight.

  “Ryan! Stop them! Julian! Stop!” I cried out in horror as I watched John try to obtain the upper hand, as Julian continued to reign steady blows with his fists and knees. He seemed to snap out of it at the sound of my voice. Finally, Ryan let me go and walked over, pulling Julian up and pushing him away as he pulled John up.

  “What are you doing?” I asked as I grabbed John, examining his face and body for wounds. Besides a slight busted lip, and ripped shirt, he was fine. I looked over to see Julian shaking his head as he rubbed his jaw. Astonishingly, he seemed to be amused. WTF?

  John just paced away from me as he tried to regain his composure.

  “What am I doing? Huh! What are you doing?” He yelled as he focused his wrath my way. I coward back slightly, holding my hands out.

  “Hold on, it’s not what you think.” My voice was shaky at best.

  “What is it then? What should I think? Were you not alone with him on his boat?” The tinge of betrayal in his tone killed me.

  “Yes, but...”

  “Right.” He pulled away from me and left just as quickly as he arrived.

  “John, wait!” I called out. Holding my face in shock.

  “Let him go. He just needs to cool off. Let me talk to him, I’ll explain it to him, but you owe me. Trouble.” Ryan winked at me and went after John.

  I looked over to Julian, who was drinking from the wine bottle as he sat on a bench seat. I walked over to check him for wounds. He looked ok, but I knew his jaw was going to swell up pretty bad. I walked over to the minibar and pulled out some ice, wrapping it in a cloth napkin. Then
I pulled up a seat in front of Julian and applied it to the side of his face. I didn’t even know what I was supposed to say.

  “So, that’s him huh? Fred Astaire is tougher than I expected,” he flatlined. I just shook my head and laughed at that.

  “You find this funny?”

  “Yeah. He calls you the Dark Knight.” I laughed just saying it.

  “Ha, guess that’s why he sucker punched me.”

  We just sat there quietly for a while. I needed to go find John, but I hated to leave Julian like this. I grabbed the bottle from him and took a long gulp. He grabbed the makeshift ice pack and held it in place as he went to get another bottle of wine.

  “You keep that one. I know you need it.” We clinked bottles and he sat back down.

  “I love him, Julian. I just need to talk to him,” I announced.

  “I know.”

  “What are you gonna do now?” I still worried about him.

  “Probably go back to Peru for a while. My mom will be there when I get back.”

  “And after that?” I don’t know what I expected him to say. ‘Don’t worry Jade, I’m fine. Go be happy’?

  “I kind of enjoy the quiet life. We’ll see.” He leaned forward and kissed my cheek lightly, lingering a moment before he pulled away. Wiping away a trail of tears with this thumb.

  “I don’t know what to say, right now.” I choked out over the lump in my throat.

  “Say goodbye, Julian,” he whispered.

  “Julian.” I didn't want to say goodbye, but I needed to talk to John. I kissed two fingers and placed them to his lips. He grabbed my hand and kissed it before I pulled away. I just couldn’t bring myself to say the words, but I got up and walked away.

  And there it was. I walked out onto the dock, unsure of what was waiting for me there. I spotted Ryan, leaning up against an all black government vehicle.

  “So, FBI?” I said as I stood in front of him.

  “Yeah. I’ve been watching Edward for the last two years. He’s been slowly inching his way into trouble and came up on radar when he contacted Julian Garza in Cuba. He is nowhere as smart as his nephew. Nice little plan you guys came up with. Dangerous, but it worked. I’m impressed.” He eyed me warily as he spoke. I was used to that by now. I’m sure he was trying to imagine what had just transpired on the boat.

  “Wow.” I couldn’t really muster up much more at that moment. I looked around, and caught sight of John pacing at the end of the dock. I wiped my eyes, feeling like I had been crying non stop for hours. Ryan handed me a little packet of tissue from his pocket. Then he tipped my chin up to look me square in the eye.

  “You have to end this, now.” His eyes searched mine seriously, like an optical lie detector.

  “I know,” I sobbed.

  “He’s hurt. You can’t jerk him around like this,” he nodded towards the boat to emphasize his point.

  “Ryan, don’t you think there’s more to it than that? I’ll talk to John.”

  “Get out of here trouble.” The cocky smirk was back.

  “Thank you Ryan.” We bumped fists as I headed towards John.

  I joined John on the beach, where he was sitting, staring out at the ocean. I didn’t even look at him. We just sat there both lost in our own thoughts.

  “Are you ok?” He asked quietly. I looked over at him finally.

  “I’m better than your shirt,” I joked. He let out a slight snort.

  “Well, that’s not really saying much.”

  “John? Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” I had to know his true motivations. John just shook his head, letting out a heavy sigh before he answered me.

  “I thought I was protecting you. I thought you would be safer, away from him until it was all over. Had no idea that you guys were seeing each other the entire time.”

  “I was waiting. Waiting for you to talk to me, or make things make sense, but I just felt like you shut me out,” I responded.

  “Jade. We were both doing the same thing. Neither one of us were really honest about what was going on in our lives.” He had a point. I could only nod in agreement.

  “What happens now?” That was my question of the night.

  “I don’t know,” he replied. I looked over at him, but he just stared out at the ocean.

  “What do you want?” I asked.

  “I don’t even know. I know you love me Jade, but you love him too. I can see the bond you guys have. I never saw it before, but I see it now. You don’t want to hurt me, but I can’t change how you feel. About him. And I understand. Trust me.”

  I was silent as he spoke, and when he was done I remained quiet. Flashes of Julian sitting on the floor of his boat, alone, kept torturing me. I hated that even as I sat here with John, whom I adored, all I wanted to do was run back to the dock. Make sure Julian was ok. Dammit!

  John pulled me to his chest and wrapped a long, lean arm around me. I curled into him, and I cried out the last bit of stress from the last few hours, while he held me close. After a while, I finally felt better. At least I was done crying. I sat up, turning to face him. He used a long finger to push my wind blown hair out of my face. I closed my eyes as his skin touched mine.

  “I’ve told you before that I love you, even if we are not together. Part of me always knew that there was more to your feelings for him. You never talked about Evan, and you were with him for six years, but at night you would have all these dreams. When I woke you up you would look at me like I was a stranger. You weren’t dreaming about me. I’m not sorry for any of this Jade and I don’t want you to be. I’ve been selfish this entire time knowing I’ve got my own ghosts to deal with. I’m leaving in the morning to head back to California for two weeks.”

  I looked at him and smiled sadly through my tears. For the first time, I didn’t feel like I was going to lose someone I loved.

  “Thank you,” I whispered gravely. He looked at me thoughtfully, kissed me gently on the lips, and then smiled back.

  “So, are you going to fix things with you and Alicia?” A small part of me felt a pang of jealousy at the thought, but I wanted John to be happy. He deserved it.

  “I don’t know. I love Ali, but she has to figure out what she wants from life, besides experiencing the “pleasures’. I’ve made too much progress to go backwards now. I just want to be there to support her.”

  We sat there, together, for a while longer. I watched the waves make abstract patterns as the reflection of the moon danced across the surface of the ocean. I felt like I had all the time in the world, and a sense of urgency all at once.

  “So, friend. You ready to head back inside?” John rose gracefully, dusted the sand from his linen pants and extended his hand. I glanced once more at the calm, rolling waves, and back to his hand.

  “Not yet,” I replied.

  Watching John walk away from me felt like turning off an old school tube tv where the picture disappeared into a small square, until there was nothing. I wanted to blame my tears on that, but I also felt a sense of relief. I didn’t know how to end things. That was another flaw that I came to learn about myself. Not taking control of my circumstances and hoping that they would work themselves out, lead me to this moment, and I had one more loose end.

  After he left, I took my wine and headed for the edge of the beach, just where the water met the shore. I wiggled my toes in the wet sand, and then let the gentle waves wash it away. The water really did have a calming affect on me and I stared out into the sea, just enjoying the serenity, instead of trying to be numb. I dug a holster in the sand for my bottle, and then pulled my knees up to my chest. Julian’s expression before I left him flashed across my mind. I needed to see him.

  Before I headed back towards the dock, I checked in with my family. The three of them were still up, waiting in the living room of the villa. A quick summary of events later, and I was out the door. I promised to explain latter, but I had to go. I let the sound of the ocean lead me, as if I were hearing it for the first time. I felt l
ike I was finally waking up from a long dream, and experiencing things for the first time. The scent of the salty sea, the feel of the humid air clinging to me like a second skin, and the sound of my own heart thumping rapidly. I didn’t know what I was going to say or do, but I had to see Julian. I was wrong to have lead them both on, all the while not making a decision.

  Ch 32 Consolation Prize

  When I neared the boat, I frowned because all the lights were out. Pausing to take a few calming breaths, I carefully made my way across the plank leading onto the deck. I wondered if Julian was still there as I wandered thru the dark empty cabin. He was in the same spot that I left him, leaning up against the wall of the bow of the vessel. Kneeling next to him, I replaced the makeshift ice pack with a fresh set of ice cubes. Julian watched me wordlessly, silently scrutinizing my every move. I tried to ignore the thoughts that wanted to know what he was thinking, and focus on what I had to do. Which was what exactly?

  “Why did you come back,” he finally asked, breaking the silence. When I didn’t answer he pushed my hand away, taking the ice pack and flinging it aside. I gulped, trying to push the frog back down my throat. This is just a moment, you’re going to get through it.