He grinned, pushing off his desk and placing his hand on my shoulder, leaning down and speaking softly. “I have no intention of doing so, boy. I just want to see if you’re any good at this, or if I should get you started on the files.”
“What about the phone?”
“I have three people who answer my calls. None of them sound as nervous as you, so I believe we’ll leave them to it, yes?” He squeezed my shoulder. “Luther gave you a bad impression of how I manage this company. To be fair, he’s not allowed on this floor often.”
Whoa… All right, these men had to have the strangest relationship. They slept in different sections of the mansion they shared, hardly saw one another in a company they seemed to run together, and then there was…well, me.
“Don’t look so shocked. We’ve been together since we were in our early teens. It’s lasted because our friendship has always been the priority and we’ve found a balance that works for us. As a lover, he can’t stand the hours I keep. But as a friend, he understands my passion and determination.” With a distant look in his eyes, he turned toward the window, not seeming to really see the view. “It’s better now, but there are times I miss having a new project to work on together. Like when we took over this building. Or set up a production company in Bali that met international fair-wage standards. Or anything else we’ve taken on that he was excited about…” He shook his head. “He doesn’t share my ambition. He’s satisfied with running security and keeping me safe.”
I nodded, starting to understand why the two men’s lives were so very different. “But you’ll never be satisfied.”
He looked back at me over his shoulder. “Seen Hamilton, have you?”
“Are you kidding? No way, I’ll never be able to afford that. But I’ve heard all the songs out on the streets. People like blasting them from their cars.” I started flipping through the magazine. “And there’s this little record store that lets me hang out a bit sometimes and use the employee bathroom to shave and wash up. The guy heard me humming one of the songs one day and put the album on while I helped him move some boxes.”
Xavier’s brow furrowed. “Please tell me he paid you for that.”
“He bought me lunch when he could. He doesn’t make enough to have employees. He’s owned the place for thirty years. It’s not as popular as it used to be.”
Tapping his chin, Xavier looked out the window again. “Maybe there’s a way I could help him upgrade. Give me the address before we’re done for the day.”
Biting my bottom lip, I nodded. Jaz was such a cool old guy, he deserved a lucky break more than anyone I knew. If Xavier was willing to do that, I’d definitely point him in the right direction.
“You do know I have less than two hours available on my schedule to see if you’ll be any use to me on this project.” Xavier kept his eyes on the city skyline, his tone almost bored. “And every minute you spend choosing outfits takes time away from those who have to put them together to present them to me.”
Should I have looked at his schedule? Damn it, that had to be part of my job, but Luther hadn’t mentioned it. Probably because it was fucking obvious.
I quickly flipped through the book, scrambling for a pad and pen and whispering thanks when Xavier appeared at my side with both in hand. He paced behind me as I jotted down my favorite pieces, choosing ten since he hadn’t actually given me a number.
He glanced down at the notes and made a soft sound of approval. “Good. Now go let the designers know we’ll be ready for them in forty-five minutes.” He glanced at his watch. “Someone also should have brought me a coffee by now. Not sure who…”
“I’m on it.” I pushed out of the chair, knocking it over, then tripping over it and landing on my ass. “Oh fuck, I’m sorry, I—”
“—need to stop being so terrified that I’d fire you for being human.” Xavier stepped up to my side and held out his hand. “I’m demanding, but not unreasonable. There are two interns who make coffee runs every few hours. Go ask Peter to point them out to you. And have him give you directions to the design team. They’ll know what to do.”
“Okay. That I can do.” I could breathe again. This was good. I let him help me to my feet. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” He waited a beat, then looked at his watch again. “Please do learn to do it faster, if you will?”
“On it!” I ran to the door, slamming it into my shoulder as I bolted through it, wincing as I carefully closed it behind me. “Ah…” I looked around, spotting a young woman who didn’t look too busy. I didn’t want to bother anyone, but I needed to prove to Xavier I could accomplish this task without wasting any more time. “Do you know where Peter is?”
The day passed in a blur, and most of the employees had clocked out by the time Xavier said we were done for the night, but things had gone well. He’d been impressed with all my selections and the design team had done their part to make me look like a damn genius.
Not that it was hard, Xavier couldn’t seem to design anything that wasn’t a freaking masterpiece. Three of the designs had been for plus-sized models and the women who strutted across Xavier’s office in the dresses I’d chosen were pure goddesses. I doubted I’d ever have their confidence, and I still couldn’t believe they were new to this. They owned that stretch of black carpeted floor like it was the very runway they’d be on to showcase the outfits. Another three designs had been modeled by drag queens who had massive platforms on Instagram and would bring attention to Xavier’s new designs by showing off to their audiences before they even hit the stage.
One of the men had playfully flirted with me after his performance and Xavier practically growled at him, hissing that he could be replaced. The man laughed and patted my cheek, winking at me before walking out.
I’d been kept too busy to talk to Xavier about that earlier, but I made a point to bring it up before we left for the night.
Which was now.
Should you really be testing Xavier already? It’s been a long day. Let it go.
But I couldn’t. Sure, the drag queen had millions of followers, but this was a huge opportunity. Not just for him, but for Xavier. I refused to be the reason it was ruined.
“Lady Cat’s Slits was amazing. And I’ve been looking at his stats—”
“When did I say that was part of your job?”
“When did you say anything was part of my job? You seem to want me to anticipate what you need. Which I’ve been doing.”
Xavier placed his briefcase on the desk and shot me a hard look. “Very well. Go on.”
“He’s represented some huge brands. And his fans buy things he promotes. If he’s on that runway, and talks about it after, they’ll jump on your more mainstream designs. You have lines out there that are for teens and they’ll ask their parents to buy shirts and pants and dresses for them just because he mentioned your name.”
Brow furrowed, Xavier came over to look at the laptop he’d given me, which I’d had open at the end of his desk where I’d been working more of the day. He rested his forearm on my shoulder and leaned over.
“You’ve been looking up my junior designs. Those haven’t done well. I don’t see the point of expending more time or energy on them.”
“But they’re amazing! You just haven’t marketed them properly. Judy was talking to me in the line at lunch and she was so excited for the boost in sales just from a snapchat Lady Cat’s Slit had done. She didn’t think you’d care, but I asked her to show me. She said she wasn’t supposed to talk about it, but since she’d probably be out of a job in a month…” I tapped on another tab and opened the email I’d asked Judy, who ran sales in the junior department, to send me. “He got almost three million views when he reposted his snapchat video on YouTube. That’s a lot of exposure and it didn’t cost you a thing.”
“Having him model for me will not be free.” Xavier shook his head. “And I never tolerate the attitude he showed. If I do so now, it will never end.”
“That was
n’t attitude. He was being a little flirty.” I gave him a sideways look. “If it helps, he said you were too young and hot to be so serious. And he kept looking at your ass.”
“But you weren’t, because you were doing your damn job. Which I appreciate.” Xavier looked away, his cheeks stained with red. “I’m supposed to tolerate unprofessional behavior to sell a line that’s been hopeless from the start?”
“He didn’t say anything unprofessional to you. He was joking with me.” I snapped the laptop shut. “I’m sorry I mentioned it. I just didn’t want you upset because he noticed me. A lot of people did. If you didn’t want that, maybe you should have let me stay at my desk.”
Xavier shook his head and grabbed his bag. “No, I shouldn’t have. People like talking to you. They’ve been doing so all day and you’ve given me more insight into my own company than anyone has given me in years. I simply wasn’t expecting to be—”
“Jealous?” I stayed a step behind him as he led the way to the elevator.
He stopped short. Turned slowly. “Careful, Alexander.”
Maybe I’d gotten too comfortable today. Or maybe I was just tired. I hugged the files I needed to take home to go over tonight against my chest and met his glare, refusing to back down. “I don’t care if you won’t admit it. He’s good for the company’s image and I won’t let you throw this shot we have away because of me.”
Xavier stared at me. His lips curved slightly. Then he shook his head and laughed. “Damn it, I shouldn’t find it so fucking appealing when you stand up to me. If I hadn’t challenged Luther to keep his hands off you until I couldn’t resist, I’d either spank you, or fuck you. Maybe both.”
I leaned over to press the button to the elevator with my elbow. “You have very strict rules against fraternization, sir. That language is highly inappropriate.”
“Our entire situation could be considered inappropriate. And work hours are over.”
“Maybe, but you and Luther both said I had a choice. I’m choosing to put my job first and what you just said makes me uncomfortable.” Talking to him like this made me a little sick to my stomach, but if I was going to have him respect anything I said, I couldn’t accept him turning it to sex whenever I stood up to him. “You’re making me feel like none of the work I’ve done matters. I busted my ass today. People like and respect me. All I ask is that you do too.”
His jaw hardened and he glared at the mirrored wall of the elevator, not speaking again until we reached the parking garage where Luther was waiting with the town car.
He met Luther’s questioning gaze and sighed. “Please take Alexander’s files and put them in the car. I need to speak to him for a moment.”
Luther’s brow furrowed. He watched Xavier walk to the far end of the parking lot as he gathered all my files. “What happened?”
I swallowed hard, my eyes stinging as I fought not to cry. I was an idiot. Who did I think I was, talking to Xavier like that? A punk he’d taken off the streets and given the opportunity of a lifetime, and suddenly I could mouth off?
When did you ever back down from your brothers when you knew what they were doing was wrong?
The day I got caught stealing Xavier’s car.
He wasn’t my brothers. He knew what he was doing.
If he fired me? I deserved it.
Blinking fast, I met Luther’s concerned gaze and forced a smile. “I’m not sure how this will go, but whatever happens…thank you.”
“Alec—”
“No.” I held up one hand and gave Luther a level look. “This is on me.”
Making my way across the parking lot, I went over all the things I could say to fix this in my head, but nothing felt right. Whatever decision Xavier made I’d have to accept.
He glanced over as I stepped up to his side at the bottom of the ramp leading up to the streets. With a heavy exhale, he turned to face me. “I have been doing my best to regain control of this situation, but you aren’t who I expected you to be. Which concerns me, because I thought I knew that first night. Then I adjusted my opinion when I saw you with Luther that morning. I knew you were dangerous. I’d put up walls to make sure you couldn’t get too close, but Luther had already become your savior. So I figured I’d set boundaries to limit the damage you could do.”
Rubbing one hand over his face, he looked across the garage at Luther, who was leaning against the back of the car, watching us.
He tipped his head back and groaned. “I don’t blame him for wanting to help you. After knowing you for less than a day, I feel the same. But you’re not a project we can share. You’re insightful, determined, and intelligent. You’re a young man with potential and I want you to keep working for me. And I also want you. I likely made this more difficult for all of us because I came up with so many rules that I had no intention of applying to myself. I figured once I was tempted enough, I’d simply have you. As though you were already mine.”
I didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t wrong. If he’d tried and I thought it would help me keep my job, I’d have given him anything he asked for. But it was more than my job on the line and I couldn’t ignore that. In less than ten hours, so many people had started to look at me as the person they could open up to. If I kept working here, I could help them.
But not as the boss’s peace of ass.
“You told me to impress you.” My voice sounded weak. I lowered my gaze when he looked at me. Forced myself to keep talking. “I tried. And I’m not sure it mattered.”
“Damn it, Alexander, don’t do that. Don’t doubt yourself. Don’t let others doubt you. You did impress me. I thought it would take you weeks. Even months.” He shook his head and smiled, reaching out…then letting his hands fall to his sides. “You did it in a day. And you have every right to tell me you’ve earned my respect. Because you have. This isn’t about the game. Or what I or Luther want from you. Even if you decide you don’t want to play, I want you here. I want to know what my employees think, because I have the most talented team in the business, but they’re too intimidated to challenge me. You aren’t.”
“I should be. I’m fucking terrified you’re gonna get pissed and kick me out. That having a place to sleep, clothes, food…that I could lose it all.”
“And I don’t want you to give in to me, or to Luther, because of that fear.” Xavier gave me an encouraging smile. “Tomorrow you’ll sign a new contract. One specifically about the job. The old one still applies if you decide to get involved with Luther and I, but one does not overrule the other. I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
That sounded…good? But I was afraid to trust his offer too much. He seemed to change his mind on a whim. He had the second he’d seen me with Luther, doing exactly what he’d seemed to want until that moment. “What about the game?”
“The game is separate from work. If you’re trying to distract me, make it very clear if we’re at the office, because I don’t want you to think if you don’t give in, you’ll be out on the streets. Your job will not be at risk if you say no.”
“And if I say yes? To either of you?”
His brow furrowed slightly. He shook his head. “I won’t lie. I still think Luther is too close to you. He stopped me from burning my first designs when I was about to lose my scholarship for getting in a fight because someone called me a fag. I didn’t want to explain myself. All I heard was my father saying that same word before kicking me out. I was seventeen, and without the scholarship, without an older man sponsoring me, I’d have been on the streets myself. Luther convinced me to keep trying and I love him for it. But he saved me from the old man. He convinced me working at a coffee shop to pay my rent was better than letting myself be used. And he was right.”
“But he’s tried to save others.” The pieces were starting to come together. I’d never hurt Luther, but Xavier didn’t know that. Not yet. “And they hurt him.”
“They did. There have been too many to name.” Xavier pressed his eyes shut. “I never worry when he brings me
girls he thinks need help. He’s gay. I’m bisexual. One girl we played with was with us for three years. He was affectionate, but other than some mild play, he was simply fond of her. I was able to let her go when she met the man she ended up marrying.”
Everything he was telling me was…a lot. But I got it. He was trying not to get too close, but he appreciated my work. He didn’t want Luther to get hurt. He was still unsure of me as far as their relationship went. They weren’t in an open relationship, but sometimes they found one person who could fill a role. They were both dominant. They both craved control. And they couldn’t fill that need with one another.
They thought I could, but they wanted more from me. And it would take time to see if I could fill all those roles.
The most important one, for me, I’d fought for today. And I had to stand my ground to rise above the baser one. Because others had been here. They didn’t last.
They had other options.
I couldn’t be a toy meant to be discarded. I needed something to fall back on when they were done with me. Working for Xavier would finally be something I could put on a resume.
“I’m not looking for a relationship, Xavier.” Saying his name scared me, but we were talking man to man. I couldn’t back down now. “And I can’t say I’m not tempted. By you or Luther. But I can say neither of you can tempt me to the point that I’ll forget how often I thought I would die out there. That I went to my brothers because my stomach hurt so bad even a few sips of water made me sick. I wasn’t starving when I met you. They’d given me food for a few days so I’d have the energy to steal your car. I never want to go back there.”
“You won’t. All I ask is you don’t expose me or Luther. Aside from that, if you ever decide to quit, I’ll give you a good recommendation. But apart from the job, my rules haven’t changed. I need some time. Time where I don’t worry that Luther will come in one day to see a model flirting with you and wonder if you’re done with him.” He placed his hands on a yellow barrier in front of the cement wall and bowed his head. “If you think my jealousy is bad, just wait until you see how protective he can be. If he’d seen you today he would have thought I made you insecure. That Cat’s Slit wanted to use you. That you were vulnerable to both of us.”
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