Looking up at him, I frowned. “What’s wrong? These are your designs.”
He shrugged, taking a bite of the sandwich I’d left on his desk even though he’d told me he wasn’t hungry. Wiping a bit of mustard off his cheek, he jutted his chin at one dress. “I’m curious about the Pepto Bismol pink, that’s all. Is that what the youth of today are into?”
That comment had probably saved me from completely screwing up the project. I spoke to Lori, who managed production, and she assured me there was plenty of time to change it. We put the dress on hold while working on others Xavier had given a grunt of approval.
He acted like he wasn’t interested in pursuing the line, but he spent a lot of time looking over my shoulder for someone who didn’t care. I had a feeling he wanted me to have something I could take credit for, which I appreciated. Still, the credit would go where it belonged. To the team of women who’d been working on this for almost a year and just needed to convince Xavier he hadn’t made a mistake by branching out.
I might have gotten him to listen, but their work had given me something to show him. Something to fight for.
“Would you mind sending these to me so I can print them out?” I flipped through the photos. Luther was right, they weren’t as impressive as the view, but the color was there. “I don’t know much about design, but I think the junior line team can work with these. And they fit Xavier’s current obsession with finding inspiration in nature.”
Crouching down beside me, Luther looked at the pictures, brow furrowed slightly as though he was trying to see what I was talking about. And failing. “I know even less than you do. I’m better with the diplomatic side of business. And the numbers. It was never my passion though. I spent some time training to become a cop, but…let’s just say it didn’t work out. I settled on security because it helps Xavier, and it’s still something I enjoy doing. I can be a bit protective.”
“I never would’ve guessed.” I shot him a sideways smile. “Xavier says I have an eye for stuff like this. I don’t know if he’s right, but I’m happy I can be useful. I want to take a course in design though so I don’t feel like a noob stepping on toes. Even the interns spent years learning the craft before getting a foot in the door.”
“True. And you were given an advantage. But you’re aware of that. You spend every day proving you deserve it.” Luther put his hand on my shoulder. “And you’ve earned Xavier’s trust. No diploma could teach you how to do that.”
“I guess so. I just hope he doesn’t mind that I want to be able to contribute more.”
“He won’t mind. If you’ve shown him half the passion I’ve seen, he’ll just be happy to have someone to share it with.” Luther stared out as the last golden rays of the sunrise faded away. “I support him in everything he does, but I know that isn’t enough. We’re so different, sometimes I wonder how we’ve lasted this long. He’s ambitious and creative. I’m more about stability, about making sure those I love are safe and happy. I can keep him safe, and his drive makes him happy, but sometimes we get lost in finding the middle ground.”
“You don’t spend enough time together.” I’d kept flipping through photos, speaking without really thinking, but when I sensed Luther going still by my side, I glanced over at him. “I’m sorry, it’s not my place to—”
He shook his head. “It is. You’re part of this relationship now. I can’t tell you all our issues and expect you to sit their quietly. And you’re right.” He sighed. “I go to him every day when he’s home. Ask him how his day was. He asks me the same. We talk and maybe have a drink. If we’re in the mood, we fuck. Then we go our own ways. Our relationship has become a pitstop in our separate lives.”
“I can’t change that for you.”
“No, but you’ve given me an idea of what needs to change. You don’t let Xavier shut you out. You find ways to be excited about what he’s doing, even if you don’t always understand it. Your need to find your place has you putting in the effort neither he or I have in a long time.” Luther curved his hand around the back of my neck, rubbing the muscles that were tense after so much time spent in front of a desk. “You take nothing for granted. We need to learn that.”
“I think that happens with most people. You know them for a long time and they’re just…there.” I almost shrugged, but I didn’t want him to stop, so I held still. “I’ve never had that, so the first two people in my life who are really there for me? I’m just hoping they want to stay.”
Luther tightened his grip. Reached out to tip my chin up with his other hand. “I do, Alec. I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Whatever arrangement we have, you can decide you want your freedom. That you want the car, and your own apartment, your independence. That’s your choice and I’ll fight for you to have it. But I’ll also fight to make sure I still have a place in the life you build.”
“Your life is with Xavier.”
“Not just with him. Not anymore.” He leaned close, brushing his lips over mine in a soft kiss. “You’re a man I could easily fall in love with. That doesn’t make me love Xavier any less. There’s room for both of you.”
Him using the word I had, without hesitation, made me a little lightheaded. I hadn’t considered his thoughts had ever gone there. Ever considered what we had more than a distraction. A way for me to satisfy an urge Xavier couldn’t. “I’d never make you choose.”
“I know.” He flicked his tongue over my bottom lip. “And I won’t ever have to.”
Inhaling roughly, I leaned closer to him, groaning when he laughed and stood abruptly. My dick throbbed unhappily as he held out his hand and I stood. The outline of my erection was obvious, pressing against my jogging pants, but he simply arched a brow at me and started back down the path.
More energized than I’d been when we’d started, I sprinted ahead of him.
“Hey!” He barked out a laugh, easily catching up, then lengthening his strides enough to force me to push a little harder. “Not sure what the rush is, but this is good. See if you can go a bit longer this time.”
The burning with each breath was back, but I kept going, his encouraging shouts keeping me focused on just moving forward. On feeling the wind in my hair and the ground growing level under my feet. Teeth gritted, I quickened my pace. His smile made the pain worth it. I could do this.
From the corner of my eye I spotted a man and all the rush of endorphins left me like he’d slashed through them with a sharp knife. My foot hit a dip in the path and I flew forward, catching myself on my elbow and my knee.
I rolled to my side, clutching my arm as blood spilled between my fingers. The pain didn’t hit me as hard as knowing the sense of being free and safe was gone. I should have expected this. I should have known it was all too good to be true. Why hadn’t I been ready?
“Shit, hold still.” Luther eased his arms under my knees and my shoulders, lifting me carefully. “We’re almost home. I should have brought a med kit. Are you okay?”
“Don’t worry about me. Luther, I saw him. He found me. He’s here for a reason.” I’d bitten into my tongue when I fell. Blood filled my mouth. My stomach turned as I swallowed it. A sharp pain lanced through my chest and I pressed my hand against it. “You can’t take me home. He’ll see.”
Luther inclined his head and carried me to a bench. He set me down and called for a car to be sent. He picked me back up and carried me down to the street, where the car was waiting.
“Alec, listen to me. Xavier has enemies and I’ve had to lose them before. Our home isn’t known to the public, I’ve made sure of that.” He tucked me into the back seat of the town car, then straightened, surveying the area. “Our doctor will meet us at the house in fifteen minutes. The driver has been instructed to take a route that will expose anyone trying to follow us. Or lose them. He’s good at this. Trust me.”
“I do.” I choked back a sob, struggling to pull in air as he slid in beside me, shutting the door, then pressing my head against his chest. “I’m sorry.”
“This isn’t your fault.” He rubbed my arm, then reached under the seat and pulled out a blanket to lay over me. “Who was it, Alec? Who did you see?”
“My brother. Erik.” I shuddered, still gasping. “When my father wanted to put me in my place, he always turned to my eldest brother. He knew what needed to be done. He showed me how bad I was. I’d be dead if he hadn’t gone to jail.”
“Alec, listen to me. Don’t get pulled back there. Stay here.” Luther stroked my hair. “I thought he’d been arrested. I don’t know if he got out on bail, but I won’t let him near you. You’re safe.”
“I would have been safer if I never went back. I know he hates me.” Tears blinded me. I fought to blink them away. “I don’t want to…I didn’t want to die.” My stomach turned as the car hit a bump in the road. The slashing pain stole my vision. “Why can’t he just let me go?”
“Because you have everything he wants. But I won’t let him take it from you. Look at me. Alec!” Luther’s grip tightened on my arm as my vision faded and my head slumped to the side. “We should go to the hospital.”
“No!” I was wide awake now. I shook my head. “Christian, my other brother, the middle one…he’s been my contact person since I was thirteen. They’ll call him.”
“Alec, you’ve lost a lot of blood. You’re scaring me.” Luther put his hand around my arm. “Let me take care of you. I’ll figure this out.”
“I’m okay. Please. Just take me home.” My vision blurred and I tightened my grip on his hand. “Take me home. I want to be there. It’s mine.”
“It is. Look at me. I’ve got you.”
I believed him, but I wasn’t sure he could keep me safe. Wasn’t sure I wanted him to. My brothers had been raised in a life of crime. If I was their next target, nothing would stop them.
Nothing but me getting far away from Luther. From Xavier.
But I had to find the strength to make that happen.
And it was slipping away.
“There we are.” A tall man with brown skin and a warm smile leaned over me. “How are we feeling?”
“Better?” I looked around the room. I was in the hospital. I tried to sit up. “I can’t be here.”
Luther came to my sit, pushing gently on my shoulder. “This is a private clinic and they aren’t calling anyone. Relax, Alec.”
I shook my head, but tried to relax. He wouldn’t listen to me if he thought I was freaking out. “You don’t get it. They’ll find me.”
“Take a deep breath, Alec. We don’t want you having another panic attack.” The doctor set the chart he was holding aside. “There were rocks and several pieces of glass inside the wounds. I removed them. You also needed stitches in your elbow and your knee, but that didn’t concern me as much as the way you completely shut down. Have you been assessed for a possible heart condition?”
“Not that I know of?” This was the first time I was speaking to a doctor since I was a kid, and even then, I hadn’t gotten more than a few checkups. “But I’m okay? I can leave?”
The doctor exchanged a look with Luther, then sighed. “There’s no reason to keep you, but I’d recommend making an appointment as soon as possible. I won’t assume anything, you’re young and seem to be in very good health, but your boyfriend couldn’t tell me of any pre-existing conditions either and this kind of panic attack can be the result of other issues.”
“This has never happened before. I just…I just freaked out.”
“Do you know why?”
I looked over at Luther and he gave me a bracing smile. “It’s all right. You can discuss as much or as little as you want to. Doctor Baqri has been both mine and Xavier’s doctor for years. He’ll be able to make a referral if you need to see another specialist.”
“Thank you, but…not right now. I’m feeling a lot better.” I wanted to get back to the house where things were secure. Luther made sure of it, and now that he knew my brothers were looking for me, he’d make sure we weren’t followed. “I’ll get a checkup soon. I promise.”
“All right, well you should be good to go. Take some ibuprofen if the pain is unbearable. If there’s any inflammation you’ll need to come back for antibiotics, but I don’t think they’ll be further issues.” He turned to Luther. “Keep the stress to a minimum. And make sure he makes that appointment.”
“I will.” Luther fixed me with a level gaze that left no room for debate. “Thank you, Doctor Baqri.”
We left the clinic shortly after, Luther hovering close as I limped to the car, his jaw hard from the moment I’d refused to let him carry me. I’d hoped seeing me walk would prove to him I was all right, but it just seemed to worry him more.
Back home, I hesitated before climbing out of the car.
He leaned into the passenger side, forehead creased with concern. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, it’s just…” I tugged at my bottom lip with my teeth. “I wouldn’t say no if you still wanna help?”
His lips curved. He smoothly slipped his arms under me and lifted me out of the car. “About fucking time. Don’t ever do that again. I’m fed up of Xavier shutting me out. Don’t you start.”
I tucked my head against the side of his neck and laughed softly. “You plan to tell him that?”
Luther didn’t answer until we were inside and he’d set me down on the sofa in the living room. He pulled a fluffy purple throw over me, fussing with it for a bit before meeting my eyes.
“I do.”
Chapter Nine
“This is not how we were supposed to spend this weekend.”
After pulling the coffee table closer to the sofa, Luther set down the tray of grilled cheese and tomato soup. Wearing nothing but the dark grey pajama pants he’d slept in, in my bed, he settled on the sofa beside me and handed me a glass of cherry coke and laughed.
“This is exactly how I wanted to spend it. Minus the injury and your brother deciding to stalk you.” Luther rubbed my thigh above the stitches and purple and blue bruise covering my knee. “I wanted you to let your guard down and learn to just be with me, knowing what might happen. And that it changes nothing.”
Spoonful of soup halfway to my mouth I stopped. And stared at him. “It doesn’t?”
“No. It doesn’t.” He pushed my hand down, leaning close to kiss me, speaking softly against my lips. “If I’d just wanted to fuck you, I could have. Winning Xavier’s challenge wasn’t that important to me. It was a way to make you both feel more comfortable with the situation.”
“And now that we are?”
“Your relationship is developing in a way that works for you and him.” He kissed me again. “And you and I will continue what works for us.”
I licked my bottom lip, forgetting about my soup, wanting another taste of him. But I was still confused. “This is starting to feel like a relationship.”
He arched a brow. “Only starting to?”
“You’re with Xavier.”
“So are you. And you’re better at it than I am.” He curved his hand under my jaw. “But this is about us. I want you completely under my control, but I didn’t want you surrendering out of gratitude. I don’t want to be your hero. I want to be the man you lean on when you’re hurt. Who you trust just as much when you’re on your knees as you do when you feel like your life is falling apart.”
All right, there was no more ‘maybe’ about it. I fucking loved this man. Which was scary and awesome all at once. He wanted me to submit to him. But he wanted it to be real.
“I don’t think getting on my knees right now would be a good idea, but I would if I could.”
His lips slanted. “Would you now.”
“Yes.”
“Do you think that’s the only way to submit to me, Alec?” He hooked his hands under my shirt. “Arms up.”
Lifting my arms, I let him pull off my shirt, my skin heating as he slipped from the sofa and knelt in front of me. He eased off my boxers next, leaving me completely exposed, my dick swelling as his ga
ze traveled over every inch of me.
“Do you feel like you have any control?”
I swallowed and shook my head.
He pressed his thumb against my bottom lip. “Good.”
Using the moisture from my mouth, Luther traced his thumb down my neck, then rose up to glide his lips where his thumb had passed. Hips spreading my thighs, the soft material of his pajamas brushing over my straining dick, he kissed his way down my chest.
Groaning, I shifted under him and put my hand on his head, delving into the thick black curls he kept just long enough on top to comb through with the tips of my fingers. I slid my fingers down the side of his head, enjoying the texture of the close-shaved hair, my hips rising as he moved even lower.
“Hands at your sides, Alec. Hold still or you’ll have your first taste of the discipline I promised you.” Luther closed his teeth around one hard nipple, biting down with a slight pressure at first, increasing it when my hands rose toward him in response. “Restraining you might hurt your arm, but my command should be enough. Imagine my words holding you as firmly as any binding. You can’t pull free of them. You don’t want to.”
A shiver ran over me as I placed my hands by my sides and kept them there, everything going light and hazy when his lips curved with approval. Closing my eyes, I pictured the restraints. Thick ropes around my wrists, tight enough to mark my flesh. Pretending they were there helped, but I hoped one day he’d tie me down for real. Let the ropes hold me rather than force me to remember I shouldn’t move.
Still, that awareness made me so much more sensitive to his every touch. His breath on my skin sent little sparks along my nerve and my nipples ached long after his teeth toyed with each one. He spent a lot of time working them under his tongue. Tugging them with his teeth until I opened my eyes, moaning and whimpering, trembling harder as remaining still became even more difficult.
“Such a good boy. Fuck, I love seeing you like this, so desperate to please me.” He licked down my stomach, stopping just above my dick. “I’m going to make it harder, pet. You’ll want to come, but as of right now, your pleasure belongs to me. I’ll help you contain yourself this time, but you’ll learn never to let go until I allow it.”
Polished Page 9
