“I wasn’t ready before.” I tipped my head back and met his eyes. “I am now.”
His eyes warmed as he smiled at me. Undoing the button to his pants, then his zipper, he freed his dick. “Open your mouth and cover your teeth with your lips. I need to feel you around me.”
Closing my eyes, I held still as his dick eased into my mouth, carefully covering my teeth as he’d asked. The heat of his dick, with its smooth head passing over my tongue, made me groan as I struggled not to move closer. He pulled out, then pressed in again, deeper this time until I had to fight the urge to gag.
He stroked my hair, let out a soft, soothing sound. “Very nice. You’ll learn to take more in time. For now, just breath when I pull out, then swallow when I press in. Let me enjoy you.”
I stared up at him, hoping my eyes would tell him what he needed to know. That I wanted this. Not gently or carefully, but in any way he wanted to have me.
He tightened his grip on my hair. Thrust into my mouth, then dragged his dick back along my tongue. I tasted slick saltiness. I flicked my tongue over the head of his cock as he drew out yet again and his precum trailed down from his dick to my lips, wet with my saliva.
“So fucking hot.” He hissed through his teeth as I licked his dick again. “I’m trying to be careful, but you’re making it hard.”
“Don’t be. I can take it.” I held his steady gaze. “Show me how you like it.”
He inclined his head. “Relax your throat. This will be difficult at first.”
I relaxed and he guided his dick into my mouth. Deeper than the last few times, not stopping when he reached the back of my tongue. I gagged a little. Swallowed hard. My eyes teared as he hit my throat and kept going.
Then he withdrew. Thrust in again. This time, I was ready for the sensation. I found a rhythm as he fucked my face harder. Faster. Kept watching his face as he lost control, using me exactly as I’d wanted him to. My dick throbbed every time I couldn’t breathe and it was fucking amazing. I’d never come without touching myself, but I was close. So fucking close.
Jerking my head back, Xavier came on my lips. On my tongue. Pressed in one last time, holding me against him as he groaned and clung to my hair.
Without warning, he dragged me to my feet, then lifted me onto his desk. He undid my slacks and pulled my dick out. I cried out as his lips covered me. He pushed me down on the desk and covered my mouth with his hand.
“Shh, I don’t want anyone coming in. If you’re not quiet, I’ll tell Luther he can’t play with you this weekend. But he can punish you.” He licked along the length of my cock. “I don’t imagine that would be much fun for either of you.”
I shook my head and did my best to keep quiet, biting into my tongue as he languidly circled his around the head of my dick, then took it effortlessly down his throat, swallowing around me. He slid up and down, faster and faster, not stopping until I was shaking and so close to the edge I slammed my head on the desk when he released me.
He gave me a sly smile as he sucked on two fingers, then slid them over my taint, pressing one against me.
“You’re nice and tight. Luther will enjoy you.” He pressed in, his gaze never leaving my face. “A shame I won’t get to watch.”
He used his spit to slick me up, easing his finger in as he took my dick back in his mouth. The way he pumped his finger into me, matching it with the pace of his mouth on my dick, made my back bow as pleasure crashed into me. He added a second finger as I came and I pressed my fist to my lips to keep from shouting as the erotic sensation wrapped around me, holding me tighter and tighter, like the smoothest ropes wound tight enough to cut off air and blood and movement, but still exquisite as it bound me.
I came hard and he swallowed every last drop, lingering long enough to keep teasing me when I was too sensitive to take any more.
I whimpered as he curved his fingers against my prostate, my whole body shaking.
He licked his lips and smiled down at me. “If we had more time, I’d keep playing with you until you were hard again. Until you were so used to having me inside you, moments where I’m gone are pure torture. But that day will come.”
Tears spilled down my cheeks as he withdrew and pulled a package of wet wipes from his drawer. I needed a minute to catch my breath, but he was done with me now. I eyed the wipes, hating that I wondered why he needed them here.
He used one to gently clean the cum and saliva off my stomach, then tossed it in the trash and pulled me up, leaving me sitting on his desk. “Luther used to spend a lot more time in my office. I know that look, Alexander. If you’re ever insecure about something, just tell me.”
Dropping my gaze, I shrugged. “I’m sorry, I know it’s none of my business.”
“Knowing who your lovers are with is your business. I want you to submit to me, but you’re not a doormat. You deserve the same respect both me and Luther will ask for.” He kissed me gently, then dried my tears. “This was your first time and I expected you to be emotional. I’m not as sweet as Luther, but I need to know you’re okay. Will you stay in here with me until I have to go?”
“If you want me to?” I hadn’t expected to feel so fragile. Wasn’t sex supposed to be something a guy just did for fun? I’d enjoyed myself. I should just go on with my day.
But I was…still raw. As though I’d opened the most sensitive part of myself and couldn’t shut it down. I wanted to be held. I wanted the bright lights gone. Things to stop being so hazy and unsteady. And why was I so damn cold?
“Come here, pet.” Xavier helped me stand. Fixed my clothes. Then pulled me onto his lap as he sat. “Let me hold you for a bit. Then you can kneel by my side if you’re still feeling out of sorts. Some don’t, but I’d considered you might. You don’t do anything halfway and when you submit, it’s no different. I appreciate that you trusted me enough to give yourself over so completely. Thank you.”
His words were soft as he held me and the world began to feel solid again. I rested my head on his shoulder and stopped questioning myself. He had more experience than I did. If there was something wrong with me, he’d know.
About ten minutes later, his phone rang. He hesitated, but I smiled at him and slid to the floor, my head on his knee as he answered. He stroked my hair as he spoke, and I just stayed there and relaxed. The day was almost over. I didn’t have anything else to do and he’d be leaving soon.
I’m gonna miss him.
He hung up the phone. Leaned down to kiss me. “I’ll miss you too.”
I blushed. I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. He was going to start thinking I was needy.
Hanging on to his leg for the past hour probably didn’t help. I moved away from him, climbing unsteadily to my feet and bracing my hand on the edge of his desk. “I know what I have to do while you’re gone. Thank you for letting me look into the junior line.”
“You have some great ideas for it. I’m looking forward to seeing what you’ll do with them.” He packed up his laptop and folders into his briefcase, then stood. “I don’t want to cut your night short, but I’d love it if you’d come with me to the airport.”
“Absolutely.” I quickly straightened my clothes. “I’m trying not to be too clingy, but…yeah. I’d like that.”
His lips twitched, but he didn’t lecture me about my speech. Motioning me forward, he followed as we left the office, locking the door behind him.
He handed me the key. “I don’t think you’ll need it, but in case anything comes up this weekend…”
I stared at him. “I’d ask Luther if I needed anything.”
“Now you don’t have to.”
Not sure what to say, I put the key in my own briefcase and locked it. I knew what this meant. Xavier had given me the one thing he valued more than anything. Something I would never take for granted.
His trust.
Chapter Eight
Things were quiet that night. More than usual, even though Xavier never spent time in this wing of the house. I knew Lu
ther still went to the main house to see him almost every day after work. That the staff served him and cleaned up and he spoke to them when he wasn’t busy.
With Xavier gone, it was…different. Most of the staff had the weekend off. There were no guests coming to see him, so they weren’t needed. Only one maid and one butler stuck around, both who lived here and would do small tasks before enjoying the nights doing their own thing.
Luther had dinner with me, but we simply talked about my new project and how he hoped Xavier would get enough sleep and eat properly. One of the security guards was supposed to remind him, but Xavier didn’t take suggestions well from anyone. They’d be on the plane all night, so Luther didn’t expect a report until tomorrow.
We both went to bed early. I figured Luther would be in a better mood once he knew for sure that Xavier was okay.
He woke me before dawn with a huge smile on his lips, kissing me before I even had my eyes open. “Are you ready?”
“Ready?”
“Yes. I thought we’d go for a run.” He pulled the blankets off me and tossed me a pair of jogging pants and a T-shirt. “You don’t get out enough and some fresh air would be good for you.”
I groaned and tried to pull the blankets back up over my head. Then settled for a pillow. “You’re too chipper for way-too-fucking-early o’clock. Let me sleep.”
“I brought you coffee. And I heard from Xavier.”
Peeking out from under the pillow, I met his eyes. “How is he?”
“Almost as grumpy as you are. But he made it there in one piece, his meds helped him sleep, and he’s having a bite to eat on the way to the hotel.” Luther held out a cup of coffee like a peace offering, handing it to me when I sat up. “He complained about my guard being pushy, but admitted he didn’t eat enough yesterday. He also asked me to keep an eye on you.”
I almost choked on the coffee. “Why?”
He arched a brow.
“Oh… I should have realized you’d discuss…” I hid my face behind the mug. “This is awkward.”
“Why? He said only good things.” He sat by my side and kissed my shoulder. “And he’s gotten past his ‘rules’. He trusts you and he wants us to enjoy ourselves this weekend.”
“With a…” I glanced at the clock on the bedside table. “6AM run?”
Luther chuckled and patted my thigh. “No. He’d agree with you that I am insane. But this is something I want to do with you. If you don’t enjoy it, I’ll never ask again.”
Taking a sip of my coffee, I studied Luther’s face, noticing an uncertainty in his eyes that he’d hidden in his tone. He might pretend to be fine with Xavier’s very independent, living-our-own-lives kind of relationship, but I had a feeling he missed the connection they must have had once.
Filling the role Xavier refused to for Luther made me feel like I was crossing some sort of line, but I loved sitting down with Luther for breakfast and supper every day. When I sat alone in my room to watch a movie, I often wondered what it would be like to cuddle on the couch with him, enjoying it together.
I was sappy and I craved the kind of relationship that meant never feeling alone. Xavier wasn’t like that…or maybe he didn’t know how to be. Either way, I needed to know where I fit with them. Maybe this was it.
“Will we catch sunrise if I hurry?”
The skin around Luther’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. “That’s the plan.”
“Cool.” I gulped down the rest of my coffee and hopped out of bed. “I haven’t gotten a chance to get new running shoes, but my old ones should—”
“Be in a landfill somewhere by now. I probably should have mentioned that. I replaced them when I realized Xavier had only gotten you dress shoes and the black Vans for casual wear.” He stood and started out of the room. “Get dressed, I’ll go get them.”
“Wait.” My throat tightened. I looked around the room, reality hitting me suddenly. I shook my head. “Fuck, there’s nothing left, is there?”
Pausing by the door, Luther braced his hand on the doorframe. Then he turned slowly. “I’m sorry. I should have considered—”
“No, it’s not that. Those shoes were falling apart. I appreciate you getting me new ones, I hadn’t even thought about it. I just…” I shook my head. This made no sense. I’d had nothing for years. Why would it bother me now when there were two men in my life who’d given me more than I’d ever imagined. “It’s stupid. Forget it.”
“It’s not stupid. And the shoes were just a reminder of how much you’ve had to give up to be safe. To avoid the life your brothers tried to force you into.” Luther crossed the room and pulled me into his arms. “The shoes, the clothes, everything you had before you got on your own. It doesn’t matter how, they were yours. Xavier and I providing for you is different and I understand that.” He pressed his lips to my hair. “But you have your own money now. Money you haven’t touched. Maybe it’s time you use some of it and get the things you’ve always wanted. Things that you can look at and know you’ve earned.”
“Maybe…I want to save my money in case…” I pressed my forehead against his chest and groaned. “There’s nothing I need.”
“There has to be something you want?”
Security. But he knew that. One of the things I loved about Luther is he never tried to convince me I didn’t need to worry about having a backup plan. He’d helped me set up a bank account and given me the number to an investment firm he used himself. One more paycheck and I’d have the money to get my own apartment if I wanted to. Fill my own fridge with food. Maybe even rent my own car.
But I didn’t have my license, so that would be pointless.
I chewed at my bottom lip. Maybe that was one way I could regain some control over my life. I met his level gaze. “I want to get my license and buy my own car. Without your or Xavier’s help. Even if it’s secondhand and doesn’t look great next to your cars, I need this. I know Xavier probably won’t like that, but—”
“He’ll understand. And so do I.” Luther gave me an encouraging smile. “I’ll resist the urge to get you the number and set everything up for you, but if you need someone to practice with, don’t hesitate to ask.”
Good. This was good. It was just a step toward independence, but one I desperately needed.
I smiled back at him. “I won’t.” I quickly changed, grinning when he couldn’t take his eyes off me. It wouldn’t take much to keep him right here, doing all the things that had been forbidden for weeks, but I wanted to share something more with him. “Can you go grab the shoes for me?”
He blinked at me. Then chuckled. “On it.”
The cool air hit me as soon as we stepped outside and I shivered, wondering if I should’ve worn a hoodie. Luther was wearing a snug, dark blue tank top and freakin’ shorts, but all those muscles must offer some kind of shield from the cold because he simply stretched, not seeming to notice as the wind pressed against us.
I copied his motions, biting back a wince at the strain in the back of my thighs when I wrapped my hands around my ankles. This was not gonna be much fun.
But Luther looked so happy, the pain was worth it.
Or at least I thought it was until we’d run the length of the ridiculously long driveway. Keeping up with him had my lungs burning already. If this was his idea of fun, we probably wouldn’t be having much of it. The man was trying to kill me.
Running in place as I stopped and bent over to catch my breath, Luther laughed. “This may have been a bit ambitious to start with. We can walk to the spot with the best view if you’d like?”
With a nod, I straightened. “Fuck, I think I love you. Yes, I’d like that very much.”
The tenderness in Luther’s eyes made me all weird and warm and fuzzy. He held out his hand and I took it, looking down at the drying grass crushing under my feet as we walked beyond the edge of the property. I hadn’t meant for it to come out like that, but I was falling in love with Luther. I’d probably started to after he’d brought me here, giving me
the first bit of hope I’d had in such a long time, but I wouldn’t confuse gratitude with love.
Moments like this though? Luther made me feel like I was important to him. I loved the way he teased me. The way he encouraged me to speak my mind. The casual touches, the smiles, the way he made me feel stronger and smarter than I’d ever believed I was. He’d gone from being my hero to being a man I wanted to share every day with.
“Here we are.” Luther stopped at the edge of a ridge after we’d been walking for about half an hour, some of it on an incline. We’d reached the top of Slipdown Mountain, which was more of a hill than anything, but had a nice view. “I used to travel a lot and I love finding the highest point anywhere I go so I can take in everything. This is nothing compared to some of the mountains I’ve climbed, but it’s familiar. I run here almost every day.”
“Maybe one day I’ll be in good enough shape to do it with you.” Already sore, I stepped forward, plunking down on the packed dirt and rock ledge, bracing my arms behind me and staring out into the distance as the horizon was painted with a brilliant golden glow, with highlights in a deep pink shade I could imagine Xavier trying to capture for one of his most treasured designs. The fluffy white clouds reflected the colors as the sun rose in the distance, brightening the sky to a rich blue. “Wow. That’s beautiful. I wish I’d brought my phone.”
“You should have.” Luther chuckled, pulling his own from under his shirt. He handed it to me. “The picture won’t be as impressive as what you see, but it will capture the moment.”
Grinning at him, I opened the camera and snapped a few pictures of him. Then some more of the view. I’d have to print them out later and see if I could match up some swatches for the junior line. Xavier was still uncertain of it, and though he’d given me a lot more control over it than I should have, he still made offhand comments that helped me approach the team for improvements.
He’d made a face last time he saw me going over samples during my lunch break last Tuesday.
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