Winter at Cedarwood Lodge

by Rebecca Raisin

  Oh, God, he did have a heart! Wait. “I’m not that girl, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Had I given him the wrong impression? What was with the about-face?

  He let out a bawdy laugh. “Well, that’s good to know, Clio. Maybe I’ll hire you again one of these days…”

  Clutching my phone, I sat on the back porch of the lodge and watched the sun rise. I thought about all the things that had led me here, not just to Cedarwood but to this point in my life. My focus had been on celebrating other people’s love stories, making sure their weddings, anniversary parties, vow renewals went off without a hitch… but in the meantime I’d put my own love life to one side. Would I run out of time, if I didn’t put myself first every now and then? But did I want love – messy and complicated and time-consuming, when the lodge was like an unruly child demanding my attention?

  My mind drifted to Timothy and what he was left with. He had responsibilities now, real commitments, little people who needed him, trusted and relied on him. Even if I wanted to pursue something with him, it wouldn’t be breezy. There’d always be little people to consider.

  Kai’s truck rumbled up the driveway, and he grinned at me through the windscreen before pulling up and jumping down from the cab.

  “Morning, sunshine,” he said. “What’s with the long face?”

  I gave him a slow smile, wondering how the man could be so happy so early in the morning. All that yoga, I guess. “Just thinking.”

  “That’ll do it,” he said, joining me on the porch. “Close your eyes.”

  I turned to him.

  “Just close them.”

  I did as instructed. Tingles raced down my body as I tried to anticipate what he was up to. He didn’t touch me, but I could feel his energy radiating over me somehow. My skin broke out in goose bumps. I was certain his hands hovered above, moving slowly over my head and down my chest. All my anxiety drifted away in a cloud, and I was left with a warm feeling of total contentment. I was so relaxed I was almost supine, as Kai stepped away, his footfalls squeaky on the deck.

  “What was that?” I asked.

  “Reiki.” He smiled and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s the best way to get rid of all those negative emotions that pull you down. It’s one of those things people scoff at, but until you’ve tried it, you just don’t know.”

  I couldn’t speak. I was lost somewhere in the deep blue of his eyes.

  I tried to blink the sudden attraction away, but all I could feel was his presence. Something deep inside me rose up, the tingle of expectation touching every nerve as it traveled the length of my body. In his eyes, I could see myself reflected. Before the moment could get any more awkward I stood, brushing the dust from my trousers.

  “Well, I’d better…” we said in unison.

  “Yeah,” he laughed.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Don’t fidget!” Micah admonished me.

  “Well, you’ve got your hand clamped over my eyes so tight I bet my eyelashes are going to snap clean off!” I laughed and took some ungainly shuffles forward.

  “You can walk normally, you know, I’ve got you.”

  I tried to walk but, shrouded in darkness, I couldn’t seem to remember how to do it, worried I’d trip on something.

  “OK, you ready?”

  “Ready,” I said.

  “One, two, three,” he said, taking his palm from my eyes. “It’s done! Again. And ready to decorate. So get your skates on and let’s do this!”

  I gasped, and put a hand to my mouth. “Micah! How did you get it done?” The ballroom stood empty before me. The ceilings had been redone, the new reproduction chandeliers hung. New downlights had been fitted, and the scorched smell had evaporated. The walls were fixed and painted. The ash and rubble had been removed, and the floors waxed to a shine, ready for the tap of dancing shoes.

  “It wasn’t me,” he grinned. “Kai got everyone together, and with all hands on deck…”

  “But yesterday… I just thought there was too much to be done.” I guess I’d been the one who’d given up hope, and hadn’t noticed they’d all pulled together one last time.

  “Where is he?”

  Micah pointed to the ceiling. “Upstairs. Mentioned something about measuring up the suites.”

  “You guys…” A group of the tradespeople had clustered by the doors. “…Are the best! We can get this party started now!”

  They let out a cheer, and I hugged them one by one, promising them free holidays at the lodge with their families once we were open for guests. Tears stung my eyes as I realized my dreams were about to come true. Despite the fire, the setbacks, the fear, it was all going to be OK. We’d host our very first party at Cedarwood, on time, and on point.

  Two days later, Kai sat beside me, going through paperwork, while I made a list of things that still had to be done. Micah walked in, arm wrapped around Isla, and I hid a grin. Isla winked at me, and I knew it meant they’d talked about her past, and Micah would love her all the more for it.

  “Team meeting?” he said.

  “Yup. We have exactly five days until the party and I want to make sure we’re all aware of what needs to be done.”

  Kai shuffled his papers into a stack, and waited.

  “Kai is double-checking the safety aspects and the mobility aids. We want to make sure Imelda can get around every inch of the lodge if she so desires.”

  “Got it,” Micah said, scribbling notes.

  “Isla, where are you at?”

  The gardens were taking the longest to do because there was only Isla to do it, and the weather hadn’t been ideal. Most days she sat out there in driving winds and sheeting rain, until I pulled her inside, and admonished her with the war cry, you’ll catch your death. It reminded me of my mother – she used to do the same thing when I was younger, like she was doing some kind of penance weeding our garden in inclement weather.

  Isla fidgeted with her hair. “There’s so much to do, and I’m worried we’ll run out of time. I’ve been concentrating on clearing the west side so at least it’s tidy, but I was hoping to get some flowers planted and the fountain up and running. The grounds, though… well, they seem to go on for ever.”

  I gave her a reassuring smile. “You’ve done a great job, Isla. Seriously. I’ll try and think of a way to get you some extra help. In terms of resources and equipment, just let me know what you need and we’ll order it. If you concentrate on the immediate area around the lodge itself, that will be enough. But it would be great if the fountain did get finished.”

  Kai spoke up. “We have got a couple of people coming in for the fountain – someone to look at the electric water pump, and another guy to fix the render, and then Isla can plant the water lilies.” We chatted for the next hour, our notepads filling with last-minute jobs. Stress tried to creep into my shoulders, but I pushed it away, giddy with the thought that we were almost there, if only we could work doubly hard once more. I only hoped we all had enough left in the tank to do it.

  Everyone scurried away, ready to round up help and get the jobs done. Outside was a flurry of activity, men jostling as they went to and fro to the bins, some hooting and hollering about lending a hand.

  With the furniture delivery imminent, I didn’t have time to help Isla out in the garden – cleaning the lodge would take an age and we just didn’t have the people power. I did the unthinkable and called Mom, hoping she’d be amenable to my request.

  “Clio, hi,” she said. “No more fires?”

  I detected a touch of empathy in her voice. I double-checked the phone to make sure it was in fact my mother’s number. “Not yet, but the day is young.”

  She tutted.

  “Mom, I need your help. I know you’re not keen on Cedarwood, for reasons I can’t fathom, but will you come and trim the hedgerows? Our landscaper is swamped and we’re running out of time. I can’t really afford any more helpers.”

  “So you found it?” she said, her voice anxious.

  �
�Umm?” The hedges surrounded the front of Cedarwood as a boundary line; they weren’t exactly hidden.

  “The maze.”

  “The maze? No!” Micah and I had played all over the grounds of Cedarwood as children and had never come across a maze. “Where’s the maze?” And how on earth did she know about it?

  “It’s on the eastern side of the estate, near the lake.”

  “We haven’t got that far back yet.” There was a collection of chalets on the eastern border, more spacious, with extra bedrooms.

  “Leave it hidden, please. I’ll help you if you promise me that.”

  “Well…” Part of me wanted to drop the phone and run through the grounds to find it… first, though, I hoped Mom would explain herself. “Why?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it. But will you do me that one thing?” There was an edge to her voice, as if she was one step away from screaming.

  I sidestepped her demand. “Did you used to work here?”

  “A long time ago.”

  “And?”

  “And then the doors were closed.”

  “Why, what happened?”

  “It’s such a long story, Clio, and I’d rather not get into it with you over the phone.”

  I tried to gauge every nuance in her voice for clues as to what had taken place. Did I detect a brief hint of guilt? I couldn’t be sure. Not wanting her to shut down completely, I asked again, “So, Mom, I’m really in a bind, can you help with the hedges?” And hoped in person I’d get some answers.

  “If you promise me you’ll leave the maze hidden.”

  “I guess that leaves me no choice. OK, it’ll stay hidden for now.”

  It was almost impossible not to yell tell me your secrets! But everything was baby steps with Mom. Her standing on Cedarwood soil was a start. A very promising one at that.

  “Good, I’ll come then.”

  The tradespeople who’d stayed around for the ballroom reveal said slow goodbyes as I enveloped them all in hugs and offered my thanks once more. They drifted to their vehicles. We waved to them as they drove away, their faces weary but triumphant. I hoped they’d take me up on the offer of returning with their families to holiday at Cedarwood over the summer. They’d worked so dang hard for me and words just weren’t thanks enough.

  There was only the four of us now, and whoever else I could rope in to help. And while I was happy we were getting closer to the result we wanted, I was still sad to see the tradespeople go. They’d given it their all, and wouldn’t be here to see the finished product – the place dressed to impress for the party.

  Isla cuddled up to Micah. She seemed a perfect fit, her body folded into the crook of him, her hand entwined with his. “I might go warm up in front of the fire,” Isla said.

  “Let’s all go inside. I’ll make cocoa?”

  We trampled inside, our boots dewy from the wet grass. Even I’d relegated my heels to the back of the wardrobe recently, not only because I tripped over anything and everything like some blustering fool, but because it was damn cold. We’d be in for a snowy, white Christmas if this kept up. The thought sent tingles of excitement through me, imagining decorating the lodge for the festive season, and the parties we could host here. But one step at a time…

  Inside we gathered in the front parlor, a spacious room that was now furnished with sumptuous chairs with fat cushions. Micah added more wood to the fire, which shot up tiny sparks like fireworks.

  I hurried to the newly installed kitchen, made a pot of cocoa and brought it back with mugs and marshmallows. The kitchen craftsman had finally answered the phone, and feeling sorry for us because of the fire, and our deadlines, had sent his entire team the day before to fit it out. Everything was done by the skin of our teeth at Cedarwood, and I hoped in time we’d be more organized.

  Isla helped me serve the warm drinks before we settled into the soft cushions of the couches once more.

  “So,” Isla said, taking a sip of her hot drink, “did you wangle any help for the garden?”

  I smiled, having completely forgotten to tell her about Mom, and her surprise knowledge. “Yes, my mom is coming.” I went to tell her about the maze, but stopped, remembering my promise. “Just so you know, my mom – Annabelle – she can be a little… reserved. Don’t take it the wrong way, she’s just introverted.”

  Isla tilted her head. “Annabelle’s your mom?”

  I raised a brow. “Yes. Do you know her?”

  “I’ve been having breakfast at Puft and I chat with her most mornings. She’s always very interested to know what’s going on here. I thought it was odd she hadn’t visited you, but she said she was busy helping your Aunt Bessie in the kitchen at Puft…”

  “She asked you about Cedarwood?” That was a very different spin to the one my mom had been giving me this entire time. She hadn’t wanted to hear a word about the place when it was me talking. How odd.

  “Every day.”

  “She’ll be here soon, so if you can show her what you want her to do that would be great.”

  So Mom wasn’t as uninterested as she led me to believe. Why would she ask Isla about Cedarwood? And what had happened in that maze?

  Chapter Fourteen

  Mom and Aunt Bessie arrived wearing old clothes and workboots, ready to tackle the garden with Isla. I watched Mom’s reaction as she wandered the grounds, her face pinched, her shoulders slumped. As soon as she was out of earshot I said to my aunt, “What happened in the maze?”

  My aunt’s mouth tightened. “It’s a long story, and not mine to tell. But she has her reasons. She got the shock of her life when you turned up announcing yourself as the new owner of Cedarwood. We didn’t see that coming! Tread carefully, Clio. This is a huge step for her, coming back here.” Aunt Bessie’s jovial nature was gone, replaced with quiet concern. But still, what was with all the secrecy?

  “Why won’t anyone tell me what happened? I’m not a little girl any more, I’m sure I can handle it.”

  She patted my hand. “It shaped her life, and it almost broke her. So let her tell you in good time, OK?”

  “I don’t see why she just can’t confide in me.” I tried not to be petulant, but really, what could be so bad?

  Aunt Bessie shrugged. “You think she’s aloof, cold, but she’s not, not really. It’s a way to protect herself, her heart. She loves you more than you could ever know…”

  I frowned. “She’s got a funny way of showing it.”

  “It’s self-preservation.”

  I could read between the lines, and understand what my aunt meant, but sometimes it was hard not to be bitter about it all. I didn’t see the need for secrets, for hiding behind smokescreens, but I guess it was Mom’s way. That distance wasn’t a new thing; she’d been like that my whole life.

  My aunt gave me one of her face-splitting grins. “I promised your dad I’d always look out for you both. He’d have been really proud of you, you know.”

  I smiled, trying to conjure a memory of his face to mind, but only recalling a fuzzy picture of a man with a smile like my aunt’s and the same big, blue eyes. “I hope so,” I said. “Sometimes I feel like there’s a presence next to me here. Just every so often, when I’m alone, the shadows deepen… I wonder if it’s him?”

  “Could be. When we were kids he always promised he’d haunt me if I didn’t give him half my marbles. Of course, he was still alive back then so I paid him no mind…”

  We laughed and continued into the lodge. “Let me show you around.” Would the secret come out by itself? I wondered whether perhaps, if I found the maze, the secret would reveal itself to me, the mysterious event that happened there so many years ago and made my mom the person she was today.

  ***

  I woke to the bleating of my alarm clock. I hit the buttons until the screeching stopped, and pulled the rugs back over me, settling down. Until I remembered. The party!

  Today!

  I threw the covers to the side, and raced to the shower. There was no ti
me to fill the claw-foot bath for a proper soak, so I quickly scrubbed myself awake, eyeing the gold faucets, the regrouted tiles, and the ornate antique mirror hanging over the vanity. As I applied makeup, my phone pinged with a message from Amory: Good luck for tonight, darling! Show them how it’s done! xxx

  Her message gave me the boost I needed. I texted back: Thanks, Amory, wish you were here xxx

  Ten minutes later, dried and dressed, I fluffed my un-Carrie Bradshaw curls, and took the stairs two at a time down to the lobby, almost taking out Kai, who stood at the foot, folder in hand.

  “Whoa, where’s the fire?”

  “FIRE?” I screeched. “Not again!” Wild-eyed with terror, I sniffed the air, only detecting the scent of Kai. Woodsy, spicy, and manly.

  He grabbed my hand. “It’s just an expression… albeit a bad choice under the circumstances. I need you to breathe, to take five deep, centering breaths.” His beautiful, serene lips twitched, like he was making a joke of his own foibles.

  I kept my eyes on his and pecked him on his beautiful lips. He let out a little shocked gasp and I laughed. “Breathing, schmeathing.” I was too excited to regulate anything except my caffeine intake and even that would have to wait. “Kai, let’s breathe later. We have to dress the room, and about five million other things!” I pulled him by the arm into the ballroom. Had I just kissed him, even in jest? A tingle of belated longing raced through me, but Kai was right there once again, talking to me about something.

  He tried to get me to focus on his face. “Clio, I get that you’re excited. It’s a big day for the lodge. But it’s quarter past six in the morning. At least have a decent breakfast, some herbal tea, and then we can get moving. Definitely do not have any coffee. You’re already wired.”

  A manic laugh escaped me. This was my favorite part of being an event planner. The day of. It’s where everything (hopefully) came together, the room alive with decorations, the champagne glasses polished to a shine and waiting patiently to be filled. Fairy lights were strung, glittering in each window… but today was even more special, more sentimental than any party I’d done before, and I only hoped Edgar and Imelda loved every second of it.